This story is co-authored with Di311. Please check out the link to her page on my profile.

It had been two weeks since they had lost the farm; everyone was hungry, dirty, cold and grumpy. It was obvious in their short interactions with each other that things were looking bleaker, and it was simply getting more difficult to be optimistic about anything at all any more. All of this was bad, but nothing was worse for Lori than the fact that her husband had not spoken more than a few sentences to her since the day he'd told her about killing Shane and she'd walked away from him without a word. He'd barely even looked at her. She supposed the punishment was rather fitting. But it still hurt.

On the one hand, she couldn't blame him; she'd made a mistake by not giving him some indication of what had been going through her mind. In the moment, she'd been too shocked and unsure to even process all the information he'd told her. She'd realized after the fact - after the damage had already been done - how that reaction must have appeared to him. Shane was, after all, the man with whom she had been involved briefly when she'd thought Rick was dead. In her mind it was a non-issue. But it was entirely possible that he'd misunderstood her reaction. It was even more likely that he'd felt she thought of him differently: like a monster - a killer. The irony was that, in truth, Lori felt like the monster. She felt entirely responsible for Rick and Shane's deteriorated friendship.

Yet on the other hand, she'd reached the breaking point on her ability to deal with Rick's tendency to close off emotionally when things got difficult between the two of them. The passive aggressiveness was getting past the point of hurtful and becoming aggravating. She'd decided she needed to confront him and deal with the consequences. At best, he'd finally give her some decent acknowledgement,even if only to yell at her. At worst, she'd finally push him past his breaking point and she feared what the consequences of that might be. He was still wearing his wedding ring, which she interpreted as a good sign, but would she push him far enough that he'd give up altogether?

One foggy morning she made up her mind to take her opportunity. Everyone had discussed their plans for the day during dinner the night before: Daryl would be hunting; Glenn and T-Dog would go on a run for supplies; Carol, Beth, and Maggie planned to cook breakfast as Hershel collected water. As long as Carl continued to sleep just a little bit longer she'd have the time she needed to confront his father.

As was his usual routine for the last two weeks, Rick got up before her…or, he thought he did since Lori was often already awake and simply feigning sleep as he climbed out of the car they had been using for shelter. She couldn't bear to acknowledge the silence that permeated their mornings. It was easier and less humiliating to just pretend that she was still asleep. She checked the back of the station wagon to make sure Carl was still asleep before she followed her husband out of the car.

Noticing Hershel still sitting nearby, Lori asked if he could keep an eye on Carl for a bit as she worked up the courage to approach Rick, who naturally had his back to them. He was scanning the distance, she assumed for stray Walkers. She watched his back for a moment before she forced her legs to move forward quickly so she wouldn't back out. Placing herself next to him, Lori watched as his eyes moved ever so slightly to glance at her. She assumed if she didn't say anything he wouldn't bother and would eventually just walk away. Not this time, she thought determinedly.

"Take a walk with me?" Rick barely turned his head a fraction so she could see that he did indeed hear her. She continued before he could reject her outright. "Don't you think we need to talk about…"

"About what, Lori?" He turned abruptly and looked at her with such malice that she almost gasped.

"Things…" she faltered and drifted off. She couldn't recall a time he'd ever looked at her that way. Mustering her courage, she still pushed forward. "We've been avoiding the most…"

"I'm doing stuff, Lori, things." He cut in, echoing her own word choice. "Isn't that enough?" He paused momentarily to scan her face before finishing. "I'm still here."

Lori almost relented; she almost apologized and told him he was right. But then she remembered all that she had been thinking about while working up the courage to confront him. She couldn't lose the opportunity before her. He started to turn away, assuming she had nothing more to say.

"No."

She watched as Rick's back tensed and he stopped short, turning his head slightly back towards her.

"No…it's not enough," she stood up straighter and forced her voice to be steady. "You're still here, barely. If this marriage is going to survive we need to talk things out. I'm prepared to acknowledge my mistakes and apologize for them. I know a lot of this was my fault, but I won't let you put up walls anymore. Either we talk about it and work through it together or we take these rings off."

She hadn't meant to blurt the ultimatum, fearing she'd put the idea into his head and he'd agree to it, but it had just spilled from her lips. Now, she watched his face waiting for a response.

Rick blinked a few times and appeared to be thinking over what she just said before his face hardened again and he turned back to face her.

"What did you expect, Lori?!" He practically spat out her name. She flinched slightly when he stepped closer to her.

"D'you remember when I said I couldn't handle it from you? That look on your face? Scared, distrusting…"

"I'm sorry. I handled it badly…" Lori replied quickly; she did recall that conversation on Hershel's farm when she was worried about the older man wanting their group to move on.

"Badly?! You literally flinched away from me when I tried to touch you. You looked at me like I made you sick…"

"No! Not you! It's me..." Lori blinked furiously, feeling tears form behind her eyes. Even though she wanted Rick to show emotion - even anger - she wasn't quite prepared for hearing all of the things she'd feared confirmed.

"When you were telling me what happened with Shane all I could think about was how it was all my fault. I'm the one who caused all of this. I put you both at odds; I put that knife in your hands! And Carl, bein' there – seein' that. Doing what he had to… In that moment I felt like I destroyed everything we tried to rebuild. That's why I didn't want you to touch me. I hate myself for that, and I deserve for you to hate me too but…I can't take it any more."

She paused to see if he had a response. He kept his eyes to the ground as she spoke so she couldn't see his reaction. She thought it was at least a good sign that he was listening.

So she continued. "Look, I know you're not a killer. And I don't believe there is any malice in your heart."

Rick nodded and huffed out a bitter laugh. "Alright."

Lori's brow pinched and her eyes glanced around their surroundings. She wasn't quite sure how to interpret or respond to his answer. She was about to risk pushing him a little bit more when he turned his back and slowly walked a few paces away from her, but he began to speak again.

"You know, when Shane was pointing his gun at me he was telling me how you and Carl would get over me. How you'd done it before. And I didn't let it get to me in that moment, I knew he was just tryin' to get a reaction out of me," he paused and she wished she could see his face but she didn't want to disturb him by moving in front of him. "But in that moment you pushed me away, I wondered. I wondered if he might have been right. Maybe what he said was true."

Her eyes widened in horror and she stepped forward to close the gap he created, reaching out to grasp his shoulder and coax him into turning back around. To her relief, he complied. She could finally see the hurt and pain in his face rather than just coldness and anger. It was worse than she'd thought.

"No, oh god no, Rick!" She wanted to reach out to him, touch his face or his hair, but she figured it might be too soon for that. She felt like she was dealing with a caged animal, she had to move slowly and carefully so as not to upset him. Her throat constricted and she swallowed before continuing.

"That never would have happened. I would have known what he did. I'd never have believed whatever story he meant to tell about it. You have to know that. If Shane was the one who'd come back from that I probably would have tried to kill him myself."

At her last words he looked up and into her eyes. Lori nodded slowly to show she meant what she had said. This time she did attempt to bring her hand up to his cheek but he took a step back, just out of her reach. She took note that he didn't move any further than that.

"I believe you," he held her eyes a moment before continuing. "But, I need some more time." Though she was disappointed in his conclusion, it could have been far worse.

"Okay…okay, I can accept that," she breathed.

Rick nodded once before heading back over to their makeshift camp-site where the other ladies in their group were beginning to serve breakfast—which was really just small portions of whatever canned food they'd managed to secure on the last run for supplies. She noticed Carl sitting next to Beth rubbing his eyes and glancing around, most likely looking for his parents.

Rick stopped about halfway there to look back and make sure Lori followed. She knew that despite his lingering hurt and anger, he still wanted to make sure she was safe. The small gesture made her crack a tiny, tight-lipped smile. There was still hope for them yet. She began the trek back feeling a little bit lighter.

I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance

How do you feel? What do you think?