A/N: There's totally going to be action in this chapter. Yup. Definitely action. I haven't written any in a while though, so I can't guarantee that it's top-quality.

._.

Upon returning to his office at Beacon, Professor Ozpin had discovered that perhaps they had been sent too far into the future. While he didn't find that he had been replaced by someone else as headmaster, he did learn that three years had passed in his absence. He didn't stealthily extract this information from a passerby, nor did he pick up a newspaper and check the date.

He had asked himself.

"So," Ozpin started uncertainly as he stood in the doorway to his office. "This is three years later?"

Sitting behind his desk was his future-self, wearing the same outfit and speaking in the same voice. Ozpin closed the door behind him as his other self responded.

"Yes," Future-Ozpin answered quite bluntly. "Things have been quite chaotic since then."

Ozpin assumed that his future-self had at one point jumped to another point in the timeline to witness "things" as they occurred. Otherwise, there wouldn't be two of himself running around (or possibly more).

"Should I bother asking in what way?" Past-Ozpin spoke as he sat down on the chair in front of the desk, which for once was not cluttered with papers or other office materials. The only items on his desk were his scroll, the usual coffee mug, and a container meant to hold writing supplies. On the side, the closet door had been replaced and the windows were no longer boarded up. When he had entered his office, he had wondered if he came to the wrong place.

Future-Ozpin shook his head. "You'll see," he promised. "For now, we have something more important to discuss."

With the introduction over with, they moved on to a more pressing matter.

His future-self suddenly pointed at their coffee mug.

"That."

Past-Ozpin picked up the ceramic container by its single handle. He inspected the object, beginning with its contents.

But there was nothing to inspect.

The mug was empty.

"Don't tell me we're still out of coffee," he groaned.

"That's not the problem!" his future self snapped. "Go over to the coffee machine and have however much you like. It's the usual brand."

Complying with the request, he did just that.

"Okay, now compare it to the last mug you had," Future-Ozpin instructed, "does anything seem off?"

After sampling the drink, he found that there was indeed difference between the coffee brand from three years ago and the one in current time.

"..."

Did he forget to add sugar?

As though he remembered thinking that line, his future-self face-palmed with both hands.

"You weren't thinking clearly back then, so naturally you wouldn't have picked up on this," his future-self sighed. Then, bluntly, he said: "The coffee you- and everyone else in Vale- were drinking was laced with illegal drugs."

Future-Ozpin ducked as his past-self spit out the caffeine.

"What?" came his immediate exclamation.

Did we really joke about our characters being under the influence for the past eight chapters?! he shouted.

Not all of it was tampered with, his other self informed him.

"Anyways," Future-Ozpin cleared his throat, looking away while allowing his past-self to regain his composure. "While I'm sure that came as a shock to you, we don't have time to waste here. You need to know what you're supposed to do next."

"Hey, why are there suddenly two of you?" a female voice questioned.

Knowing that no matter what he said or did could change whatever was about to occur, Future Ozpin grumbled to himself as the briefing was interrupted by the narrator.

"Hello?" the narrator called out. "Don't ignore me!"

Future-Ozpin pretended not to hear her.

"As it turns out, the drugs were mixed with the coffee as a way to hook civilians to the substance. When they started to become dependent on it, they would begin to seek it out and that's when the distributers would step in," his future-self raised his voice to talk over the meddlesome narrator. "We never found out who was responsible, but we had our suspicions."

This was definitely a matter that could not be ignored.

"... Tell me what I need to do."

"Hellooooooooo," the mysterious narrator tried to catch their attention. "You two are boring," she complained, "this is boring."

"THEN LEAVE ALREADY!" Future-Ozpin snapped. "I've had enough of your bull***t, pestering me when I'm trying to sleep and harassing me when I'm trying to work! Why can't you find someone else to bother?!"

There was a silence.

Then, the narrator began to cry.

"Fine!" she shouted at him through tears. "It's not like you're hurting my feelings or anything. I just wanted someone to talk to, but it looks like I'm not wanted. I guess I'll just leave," she muttered dejectedly. "Maybe I'll go talk to someone else who hasn't had much screen time- like that Adam boy, or those Malachite twins..."

She left them to their conversation.

Past-Ozpin glared at his future self.

"Oh, don't even say it," Future-Ozpin nearly snapped again. "She was antagonizing us and you know it."

"You hurt Miss Tsundere's feelings," Past-Ozpin accused himself.

"Do you even recognize her voice?"

"No."

Sigh.

"I don't even care at this point," Future-Ozpin told him. "Whatever- just, go back in the past, because there's a way for the drug problem to be fixed without that much hassle. Your student should know when."

Which student?

The red one.

Pyrrha Nikos?

No, Ruby Rose.

You mean Caramel Mocha, from team CFFE.

Die, you coffee-complex.

Etc, etc.

When the bickering ceased, Past-Ozpin addressed the one problem with the plan.

"How am I going to return to the past?"

The time-traveling machine had disappeared shortly after they arrived. Ozpin wasn't sure why that had happened, but it had seemed as though there were no going back to past-Vale.

To answer that question, Future-Ozpin got up from his chair and began to walk to the closet. He opened the door, and as soon as he did so the contents came tumbling out. Round brown objects rolled across the floor, one managing to travel over to Past-Ozpin's feet. He picked it up for a closer look.

"Why are you keeping potatoes in your office?" he felt a muscle in his face twitch. Was he getting pissed off with his jerk of a future self for keeping something so absurd in the new closet? Was he low on caffeine? Maybe he just needed to go for a nap. Because for him, it wasn't natural to lose his cool like this. Especially over a potato.

"That's what I used to travel through time. Don't ask, because no matter how much you question it, it will never make sense."

"..."

"... Err, you're supposed to eat it to get around the timeline."

"..."

"With Ruby's cooperation, she did some planting and suddenly there were 'magical' potatoes growing in Emerald Forest."

"My student is suddenly growing potatoes?!"

"The coffee beans also had enhancements."

"Correction: my student is suddenly a magical farmer?!"

Just what kind of future did I stumble into?

Future-Ozpin could only shrug.

"Also, there was something special about the rose petals, but I couldn't remember what they symbolized," he said. "I don't think any of this was supposed to actually happen, what with the magical plant life. It feels like this was all staged somehow- from the time travel, the coffee conspiracy, to even those children, but the only arguable evidence I have is that RWBY series that some people in Rooster Teeth created."

RWBY?

Rooster Teeth?

Even then, I have no way of telling which reality is the real one- this one or that one, he said under his breath.

"I'm not following," past-Ozpin said. "What's this about-"

"Watch it," his future self told him. "When you're done, compare this reality and the one you watched. Look for what isn't there."

Spot the difference.

Right, that made sense, assuming that this RWBY series was similar to this place.

"Will I be able to see what went wrong here if I do that?" he asked.

"I haven't just yet, but maybe I will later," future-Ozpin answered as he began to push the potatoes back into his closet. He had picked out a few and set them aside for use. "For now, take those and go back to Emerald Forest if you need more. All you have to do is think about where- or when you want to go, and it will happen. I know this seems ridiculous, but bear with it for the sake of solving this mess."

Future-Ozpin closed the door to the closet and stopped at his desk to grab his cane. He then walked over to the window, glancing outside as if expecting something. He seemed to have a lot on his mind at the moment.

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"... No, if I told you anything more and you tried to fix it, you just might end up being the cause of the problem."

Those words served as both advice and warning.

"Alright, I'll do it," he said and (with much embarrassment) took the potatoes. "What are you going to do?"

Future-Ozpin opened the window to his office and looked back at his past-self.

"I'm going to threaten some of my students with well-deserved detentions. Fighting on campus grounds cannot be tolerated, after all."

That said, Future-Ozpin, for that strange reason, jumped out the window and vanished.

"I guess I should get going then," he muttered. He looked down at the potatoes in his arms. "Now how am I supposed to eat these?... Do I cook them?..."

He wondered that as he left his office to go find Peter Port. He might need his fellow time traveler's help if things were as crazy as he thought they were.

._.

Beacon Academy was on fire.

Its students, in panic.

The staff, scrambling.

Two students glared at each other from where they stood in front of the Academy's statue, standing a good distance away from each other with their weapons in hand. A third student could be heard shouting angrily in the background, flames engulfing the buildings entirely as she rampaged. Students ran past this scene to escape the fire, but those two did not budge.

"I never liked you, Weiss," said the one in dark clothing. Dual wielding her blade and its sheath, she assumed a fighting stance as she prepared to strike. "In the past three years I've known you, you've been nothing but a spoiled brat. You shouldn't have been allowed into Beacon."

"I could say the same about you and your partner," her opponent, the one dressed in all white, brought her white foot forward as she raised her rapier, also shifting into an attack position. "We've always somehow ended all of our conversations with a fight. But you in particular," she narrowed her icy blue eyes dangerously. "You're making me look like a bad student, Blake. I've had enough of this nonsense."

"As if I care about that," Blake rolled her eyes and scowled. "And at least I have a partner."

There were no more words they could say. They let their weapons do the talking.

Both flashed forward, dodging the other's attack effectively. A glyph appeared under Blake as she landed on the ground, but before it could do anything her image vanished. She appeared closer to her opponent in the blink of an eye, and swung the blade down only for it to be blocked by the metal of the rapier.

Weiss pushed back and created enough distance between them to allow her to move around her opponent in graceful dance-like movements, only to be fooled by another shadow-image. She didn't lose her balance as the weapon slashed through the air, quickly looking around to see where her opponent had gone.

To her side, Blake was advancing at her. Weiss quickly switched the setting of her weapon to a light blue to create a wave of ice in an attempt to immobilize her. In that instant she lunged forward, but as she approached, Blake disappeared. Weiss summoned a glyph to use as a stepping stone, jumping off of it to land on the other side of the ice wall. She spotted a movement behind her, and lifted her arm to counter the incoming attack.

But such an attack never happened.

Their fight had been interrupted early, and rightfully so.

"In the event of a fight on campus grounds, a thorough investigation is conducted by the administration and discipline is issued to all participants," a man rose his voice, and as both Blake and Weiss nearly collided, he stopped them before the fight could go on any further.

Without any trouble, he- the headmaster of Beacon Academy, Professor Ozpin- had stopped the blade of Weiss's Myrtenaster mid-stroke using only the cane he was often seen walking around with. His left hand had grabbed Blake's wrist to prevent her from swinging the sheath of Gambol Shroud at her teammate, and in that same instant- in a flash- both parts dropped to the ground. Using his foot, he stepped on the weapon to prevent its owner from reclaiming it, all while maintaining his grip on Blake's wrist as she resorted to lashing out at her teammate with her hands alone.

"Students who provoke a fight, or do not disperse when directed to do so, will be subject to disciplinary actions," he continued calmly, "Failure to disengage from a fight when instructed to do so will result in additional consequences." (1)

Blake realized that this fight could no longer be continued and gave up. Weiss stared at the headmaster, dumbfounded as he went on reciting the academy's policies by memory. He released both of them, lowering his cane to the ground for regular walking-use. The headmaster turned his back to them when he had finished, now observing his burning academy with a blank expression.

"Hm, it looks like Beacon is on fire again," he commented mostly to himself. "I believe this is the third time, not counting the failed attempts of assassination by that blonde student."

Of course, by blonde student he was referring to Yang, who had remained angry at him for the past three years for not telling her what happened to her sister. He had turned his back to them to watch this very student burn down his academy, his eyes following her as she randomly punched a hole through a wall. He wondered out loud how much repairs would cost, ignoring the previously-fighting students for the most part.

"Professor Ozpin," Weiss spoke up nervously, "I didn't know you fought with your cane."

"Lies, I fight with my spectacles. They shoot lasers."

"No, I don't think so..." Weiss shook her head, not believing him for a single second. "I don't see why you're trying to deny this."

"My shoes triple as footwear, boomerangs and explosives," he claimed with a straight face, "fear me."

Blake frowned, picking up her weapon and re-sheathing it. "Um, sir? We're pretty sure you fight with your cane."

"Nonsense, my green scarf is the source of my fighting prowess. The little cross-shaped decoration I wear on it merely seals my fearsome power, which otherwise would destroy all of Vytal. Because my powers are sealed, I am weakened considerably and must rely on my cane for when I want to walk or stand for extended periods of time."

"We're pretty sure that's not true," the two chorused, unamused by Ozpin's false statements.

"Hmm, but what is true is that both of you- and your teammate over there- are all in trouble," he countered. "Should I list the offenses?"

Blake and Weiss quickly apologized for their behavior.

"I don't have time to be deciding on detentions, suspensions, or expulsions," he told them, "Right now I have to ensure the safety of the students and the staff. But," he looked back at them, "if you can stop your teammate and let her know that your team's leader has returned, I might just let this matter slide anyways."

"Wait-" Weiss started to say, her eyes widening as his words registered in her head. "Our team's leader?..."

"Yes," Ozpin confirmed. "Right now she should be with that other blond student, the one who faked his transcripts to attend this school. My past self is searching for them right now, so if you see him then please point him in the right direction," he requested. "Past-me isn't used to time travel yet, so he will be just as confused as you are presently."

"Time travel?" Blake echoed. "Past you? And- what was that about fake transcripts?"

Weiss was frowning disapprovingly at the headmaster. "Why haven't you expelled him if you found out?"

She had never really been that fond of team JNPR's leader, so she did not hesitate to say something so harsh.

"Never mind," Ozpin dismissed the matter. "I have my secrets and I'm sure you have yours. But right now, you really should consider reuniting those sisters. I'm afraid the academy might be destroyed entirely if you don't lead her away from here."

"..."

Forming a temporary truce, both Blake Belladonna and Weiss Schnee went to go calm down their teammate. Future-Ozpin stayed behind, waiting patiently for a figure in black to approach from the shadows.

"Qrow," he greeted without looking. "I never asked you, but how many of those disguises do you own?"

Behind him, Qrow was wearing a full black body suit, giving him the appearance of someone who was unimportant. He looked so unimportant that any normal person wouldn't have given him a second glance. But the headmaster of Beacon knew better.

"I'm surprised no one has noticed you so far," he said. "I have to admit, that disguise of yours is pretty clever. You blend in with the crowd so easily."

When the other did not respond, Ozpin began to fear that he had just started a conversation with a nameless, faceless stranger.

"Qrow?" he waved his hand in front of where the face would be. "Are you listening?"

Qrow swatted Ozpin's hand out of his face. "This body suit is getting hot. The weather isn't helping."

"No, Beacon is on fire, that's why..."

His old friend didn't hear him.

"What you said about the crowds being easy to mix with," Qrow referred to the earlier comment, "there are no crowds. Those were all me."

Ozpin didn't know whether or not he should believe that.

"All of them?" he questioned.

"Yes," Qrow confirmed, "I am a master of disguise. It doesn't matter what I look like under this suit; I can make myself look like anyone, regardless of their height, sex, weight, or other vague characteristics that no one cares for. This is how I have been able to supply you with so much information so far."

Because you're a time-traveling "master of disguise" who can blend in anywhere and not stand out when in fact you're probably just trying to avoid going to work?

He didn't say this out loud, but Ozpin was certain that was the motivation behind all of this.

"How can all of those people be you at once?"

"..."

"..."

Their stare down was more intense than the fire blazing behind them.

"Because potato," Qrow told him after the intense silence became awkward silence.

Ozpin wasn't going to say anything about that. He had already known Qrow had involved himself with time travel, but he hadn't known to what extent. He couldn't imagine the number of potatoes that had been consumed, or rather, he didn't want to. Too many calories to consider.

"What are you doing here, anyways?" he asked. "Shouldn't you be at Signal?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

The single answer didn't explain much.

"So why are you here?" he tried again. "Do you have some sort of business here?"

Qrow nodded.

"Yeah. I came here to punch you in the face."

._.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER?!"

Yang Xiao Long stormed away from the main grounds of Beacon Academy, with her two teammates struggling to keep up with her furious pace.

"You were shooting at us; we couldn't do anything!" Weiss exclaimed.

"We tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen," Blake explained, "and we couldn't fight back against you, because we already got in trouble for starting a fight."

The blonde student rolled her eyes. "As if they would have cared." She turned a corner to arrive at the garage for the transportation vehicles, which had yet to be covered with the rapidly spreading fire. "So where did you say Ruby was? She's with Jaune, right?"

She muttered something about how the cardboard Ruby apparently hadn't been good enough for "that brat." Both Weiss and Blake winced as she blasted open a wall into the garage area, reluctantly following her inside.

Parked in the very corner and covered by a white sheet was Yang's motorcycle, Bumblebee. In her haste, the owner did not put on a helmet and completely disregarded her goggles. In fact, she didn't even touch the motorcycle.

"Uhh, Yang?" Blake started, but was interrupted.

"Autobot," she loudly addressed her vehicle, "transform and roll out!"

The motorcycle turned out to be more than just a motorcycle.

"Why is your motorcycle a robot?!" Weiss shouted, looking up at the recently transformed yellow and black nine-foot-tall machine. "When- how?"

She was at a loss for words.

"Well?" Yang tapped her foot impatiently. "Are we going to go now?"

Blake pointed at the giant robot.

"Why do you have a Transformer?" she asked. "And are you really allowed to own something like that?"

Yang responded with a "meh."

"It's a long story," she said, thus avoiding actually having to explain anything to them. "But if we're going to see my little sister again, and she's on a date with a boy I don't approve of, we need to break it up using robots, don't we?"

That logic made no sense whatsoever.

But, with no other choice, they went along with it.

._.

(1) God, I just barely remembered that back from school. I don't have the student guidelines that we were all given, but they were something along these lines. I would assume Beacon would have similar policies to prevent dangerous students from offing their peers...

A/N: When I said "Bumblebee" is more than meets the eye... and when I said action in the beginning of the chapter... what exactly did you think I was trying to do. Honestly.

Next chapter: "Miss Tsundere" goes to have a conversation with all of the neglected characters. Meanwhile, Ozpin gets punched in the face, the sisters reunite, Cinder Falls, Roman falls, Jaune falls, we all fall over and slide on the Wet Banana and it's all Qrow's fault (probably).