Every now and then, the stars align
Boy and girl meet by the great design
Could it be that you and me are the lucky ones

Everybody told me love was blind
Then I saw your face and you blew my mind
Finally, you and me are the lucky ones this time

-Lana Del Rey-

James gulped, gripped the bottom of his bathroom sink, with his eyes clenched tight.

He could do this.

It would be fine.

He'd heard enough to know exactly what the procedure would be. All he had to do was suck it up and man up.

And he would have, if it was just any girl in the next room, but it wasn't. It was Lily Evans and she was sitting on his bed expecting him. It was nice all these years to have such a good reputation because it got him into quite a few pleasant situations he wouldn't have been in otherwise.

But now, he was worried that reputation, that front that he used to propel his confidence and ease him in and out of every bad circumstance, was going to work against him.

Was this is karma? That when it mattered most, he lost his nerve?

"James?" Lily knocked on the door. "Are you alright in there?"

James nodded, but then laughed at himself when he realized when she couldn't see him. "Yeah, I'm coming out."

Lily rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, gripping the bedpost anxiously. What could be taking him so long? Her heart was attempting to shift up into her throat, and she was doing everything in her power to stay calm, but he got her shirt off, snogged for a bit and then ran off to the loo. What was with that? He talked and talked about what he would do with her and now that they were actually, legitimately at that point he backed out?

She was terrified it was because of her. Had she done something? What could it have been though? Lily didn't break out anything she hadn't done when they snogged before. So what had gotten him so freaked out? Was it because she was just in her bra? Was he not attracted to her anymore? Panic flickered through her, but she calmed down a little when she saw him.

"Sorry."

"You…you've done this before…right?" Lily blurted out unsurely, the color high in her cheeks as she said it.

James laughed forcibly, "What? Of…of course. Why would you even ask?"

Her jaw dropped, "You're doing… that thing."

"…What thing?"

"That thing, that shoulder shudder that Sirius said you do when you lie…" Lily said, her eyes scanning his face in concern.

James scoffed, "I don't even know, what you're even talking about-"

"James, you've had sex right…?"

"Lily," He laughed, "do I look like the kind of guy-"

"Oh my god, you are. You're a virgin…" She said in astonishment. "That's fine, if that's true. I'm not judging you-"

James walked away from her, running his hands through his hair. "What would you have to judge? I'm clearly-"

Lily slipped her bra straps more firmly on her shoulders, and eased in front of him. "Um," her hands went to grip his shoulders. "Could you look at me?"

"Lily, you're being ridiculous-"

"James," Lily said more gently, her hands twisting around the fabric of his shirt. "I don't care if you've had sex with a million girls or not a single one."

He opened his mouth, a twitchy smirk on his face. "Li-"

"Why are you trying to lie to me? It doesn't change the fact that …" Lily blushed, ducking her head shyly. "That I…want you."

"…You do?" James whispered, a bright smile lifting on his face. "I mean, I knew that but-"

Her heels raised, and she planted a small little kiss on the tip of his lips. "Shut up, Potter."

"Yes mam," He grinned, an unmistakable look of happiness on his face.

"I thought you weren't interested anymore."

James looked highly offended. "How the bloody hell could you think that?!"

"You just bolted!"

James shook his head at her, "I've been attracted to you since I was 11."

"Really…?"

He rested his forehead against hers, his arms holding her. "Why do you think I was always trying so hard to get you to notice me?"

Lily laughed, "Noticing you was never the problem."

"Well I didn't figure that out until much later."

"And for the record," She began, not looking him in the eye. "I've only done this with one person, and I don't think I was good at it…"

James frowned. "...That's not even possible."

"I know…I usually study enough to be good at something…but I always just kind of went with it…and I didn't really participate much…" She admitted. "So…um. I don't know what you're expecting, since you've never…but I probably won't be-"

His strong hands left her arms and cupped her face, "Lily, I love you."

Lily blushed, "I mean. I love you too-"

"Then, even if this goes horribly-"

"At least we have that?" She cringed hopefully.

"I was going to say we would just have to practice." James muttered, "We'll just have to have sex again and again, until we both can't feel are feet or our toes."

Lily snickered, leaned against him. "I mean, if you are ready to make that commitment, I support you."

"Well you know me." James smirked, stooping to brush his lips against her ear, "I like to see things through to the end."

His words trembled against the sensitive skin under her ear and send a quiver down her body. Lily's breath stopped in her throat, and the hands that hand been digging into the lining of his shirt released him. It was in that instant, that she remembered she wasn't wearing a shirt. Goosebumps covered her exposed translucent skin, the heat around them swept across her, her stomach tightening.

"James." She muttered in a hesitant voice.

His thumbs stroked her cheeks and he looked at her tenderly, his eyes an odd mixture of blue, brown with splotches of green. "We don't have to do anything, you know. I'm perfectly happy with just holding you."

"That's not what I mean," Lily said, her lips tucking together.

James unknowingly copied her gesture; he inhaled deeply and said, "Oh."

He kissed her jaw, softly at first. His hands slid down her sides feeling every curve, every line, his fingers memorizing every trace of her. After weeks of snogging her he would have thought he would have known everything, but he'd never touched her torso, not without at least a thin shirt blocking him. Now there was nothing, she was there. Not a figment of his fantasies. No insecurities keeping them apart anymore. Lily didn't see the cocky arse that had always went out of his way to humiliate her, but a boy who was desperate for her attention and went about it in all the wrong ways.

"Take off your shirt." She said, against his lips.

James broke away from her lips and yanked off the cotton material. She had seen him shirtless a million times. He wasn't shy about his slender build, but this time it was different. Maybe it was because of the way he was looking at her, deeper and more intensely than ever before, or maybe it was she saw all the way through him. He wasn't smirking or giving her cheesy lines. His face was filled with many emotions, but arrogance wasn't one of them. This was James Potter, beyond the HeadBoy, Quidditch captain, leader of the most notorious group at Hogwarts. This was him; stripped down to bone, so vulnerable and so open to her that was almost painful.

Lily's fingers moved without a single coherent thought for them to do so. She felt the tense muscles of his shoulders all the way down to his toned but not built abs.

Her eyes lifted as she hooked her hands through his pants loops. "You know, when I said I love you. I don't mean like I love Emmeline or even how I love Sirius."

James didn't say anything, but his face was entranced with every word she spoke.

"I," She breathed sincerely, "I love you, in a romantic…big, forever kind of way."

The glow grew on him and he couldn't have smiled any bigger if he tried.

"Now," She said in a more determined voice after a nervous chuckle, "I'd like you to shag me now… I'm sure you have a few ideas how to do that."

James grabbed her, one arm going for her legs while the other supported her back. He carried her bridal-style to the bed. "You're about to find out."

Lowering onto the bed, he watched as her hands rushed to the top button of his trousers, and his smirk returned. "Eager?"

"Aren't you?"

He pounced on her in two seconds flat, his lips went for hers, parting her lips with his tongue, while his hands slid to her back and unsnapped her bra. Lily gasped into him as he shifted and took her bra completely off and moaned when his cold hands seized her breasts. The sound set James off, he was still tender but he was moving faster his body dipping low to grinding against her. His lips left hers and trailed down to her chest, circling her nipple with his tongue, his other hand merely gripping her other breast. Lily's hands went to his jet-black hair, her fingers gripping it liked she'd always wanted to. The texture was soft and thick, he had quite a lot of hair, she wondered idly if it would grey as quickly as his father's did, but that thought left the instant his lips moved down her stomach, sucking and licking every inch of her skin.

Letting out a slow breath, Lily gulped and said, "James, take them off."

He glanced up, "Your pants or your knickers?"

"Both." She said, her chest rising and falling hard.

James nodded and continued kissing down her body until he reached her jeans. They were so tight, he often wondered if she knew how crazy that made him, to be able to see her outline so clearly right in front of him. He slipped them down over her thighs and kicked off his own pants. Now they were both just down to their knickers and he watched her bite her lip before grabbing his face and kissing him slowly but passionately. Her tongue gliding across his as their bodies moved together longingly.

Her hands were locked under his shoulder blades, pushing his body as close to hers as possible. James rubbed himself against her pelvic bone rhythmically, his hands fastened around her jaw. An ache began to build high, between her thighs and she whimpered against him. Gasping, James snuck a hand in between them and dropped his hand under her knickers, gently running his hand along her entrance.

Lily broke away from his lips, her neck arching back, "Oh god…"

James brought her polka dotted knickers down and experimentally laid a light kiss on her. She let out a cry and began to pant. "James, please."

He kissed her again, if only to hear her make that sound again.

"God…I…put it in." She encouraged, her legs spreading. "Or I will do it for you."

James practically ripped his boxers off and he took his tip and grazed it along her clit. "Fuck…"

She writhed below him, her body struggling below him. "Stop teasing me. Just do it!"

"I will tease you all I want." James declared boldly, licking her.

"OH!" Lily's breathes hitched. "Don't, don't ...stop!"

For once James listened; he dropped lowered, and anchored down her thighs, driving her down, low into the mattress. At the beginning he just did what he knew would work but then he tried a few other things he thought of. Some worked, some didn't, but just as she started reaching the edge, he grabbed himself and pushed his tip all of the way inside of her.

Lily couldn't handle it. He wasn't huge, he was probably just average, but that didn't matter. The way he was moving, the way he was looking at her, she didn't know if she could ever find any man as attractive as she found him. She had seen men with broader shoulders, more muscles and far taller than she was, with perfect facial features, but they were all imperfect to her now, because they would never be James. James with his slightly long nose, uneven lips and never perfect stumble may not have been what most women put on their must have list, but somehow it had risen to the top of hers.

He rocked back and forth and at one point he heard her reaching the breaking point, and went faster. She cried out, her entire body locking around him, fusing to him like he was her last and final lifeline. When she came undone, he felt his own release in the distance. Fiercely he moved, occasionally kissing her and regaining his grip on her. Lily, though she looked exhausted tried to help him by kissing every part of him she could reach and running her hands up and down his body.

James said, "Fuck Lily…"

"I thought you were," She giggled sending jolts through their connected bodies.

"I'm so close," He grunted.

Lily stretched up and pressed her lips against his jaw, while at the same time adjusting his hands from clenching the sheets and fitting them to her chest.

He groaned from the transfer and began thrusting harder into her. "Lily!"

"Come on James." Lily encouraged him gently, shifting her hips against him. "I can feel how close you are," Her lips went to his ear and she whispered huskily, "Fill me."

That did him in. James went as fast as he could, ravaging her to the point of even bringing Lily in with him. She wrapped her legs around him wildly and clawed at him. She said things and did things without thinking about them or even knowing what had driven them, but it didn't matter. Either way James fell onto her, with a large sigh weakened but completely satisfied.

Lily ran her hands through his hair absentmindedly while he rested his head on her chest. He thought of a million things to say but none of them felt good enough.

One of his problems was that he always thought too much. It may not have seemed like it from the outside, but James was a chronic worrier. He'd always be so beloved by his family that he constantly worked for others to feel the same way. With Lily he had to work so hard to get her and nothing did it. Finally when he stopped trying, and just was himself, she grew to like him. It was slow at first, sitting near him at dinner, talking to him in between classes, but once they started seventh year it expanded into her talking to him when she was upset or anxious about something instead of just talking about classes or their friends. Every guy in their year had fancied her at some point, she was beautiful, smart and had quite a sharp tongue, but what had always knocked him off course was her kindness. Marlene and Mary were sweet too, but Lily always went out of her way to look after first years and spending hours tutoring anyone who needed help. It was just a softness that he craved and wanted near him.

Now he had her, she loved him. She had said it and for the first time he believed it. Before he always thought it was just a response, just something to say, but he saw it in her eyes, in the way she hesitated that she wasn't saying it for any reason other than because it was true.

"I thought… you were… a virgin." She joked feebly, swiping her red wavy hair out off her sweaty face.

"I read," He replied, pushing himself off of her and lying down next to her, "and my best friend is Sirius. I'm inexperienced not clueless."

Lily shook her head, closing her eyes. "I feel lied to. You are a lie. That was…a lie. You've done this before."

"Would you have been able to tell?"

"No, I would have never known, I would have just thought you were taking it slow with me." Lily intertwined her hands with his. "We need to do that again…"

James laughed. "Right now?"

"I mean…give me a few minutes or hours, or food… but yes. I don't want to go the rest of my day without feeling that way again."

"I just want you to know," James began bluntly, his face softening, "I really plan on marrying you."

Lily turned to look at him with wide eyes. "You…you do?"

"Does that scare you?"

"I've never heard a guy your age sound so sure about anything." Lily said quietly. "Let alone something that involves the rest of your life."

"Well," He began stroking a stubborn strand of her hair out of her face. "I love you in a big, forever kind of way."

Lily laughed and covered her face in embarrassment, rolling forward in the process. "You're never going to let that go are you?"

"Nope."

"…Well, it's true you know. I've…I've never loved anyone else. I thought I did a few times, but…it's nothing like this."

James beamed and grabbed the small of her back to pull her closer to him. "Good. I like to decimate the competition."

"That you did," Lily snorted, grinning at him. "Question though."

"What, love?"

Lily became tentative as she said. "How far away is this proposal? Five months? Five years?" She teased, "Five minutes?"

"Well, first I have to get your father's permission." He began amusedly.

"Naturally," She replied dryly.

"And then I have to get the ring."

"Of course."

James kissed her nose, "And then I have to figure out the perfect way to do it."

"Please god, don't do it in the Great Hall." She grimaced.

"I wouldn't do that." He told her genuinely, "I'd do it privately and then I'd say a speech or something convincing you to do so."

Lily smiled, "You and your speeches."

"It's what has gotten me everything else in my life."

"You are very persuasive." She admitted, cupping his jaw and rolling her fingers over his stubble.

James said, "But seeing as how we've been dating for three months. I thought I'd give you a bit more time to adjust to the idea."

"What?" She laughed, "You would marry me, right now?"

"I would." He replied seriously. "I love you and if it weren't unreasonable or illogical I would do it right here and now."

A soft sigh escaped her lips, and she kissed him firmly. "You're mad James Potter."

"Maybe, but one day I'm going to ask you a question and then sometime after that you'll be mad Lily Evans."

"By then," She muttered, "It will be Lily Potter."

James kissed her again and again, capturing her lips with his lovingly and completely. He declared, his jaw still close to hers, "And that will be the happiest day of my life."