I don't look for friends, not someone to understand me,

or someone to fill that hole in my chest,

I am alone, lonely in some horribly deep way and for

a second, I can see just how lonely,

how deep this feeling goes, and it scares the shit out of me,

It seems catastrophic,

1

Its so cold here, the kind of chill that penetrates right to the bone like its slowly eating away at you, but its something you get used to, if your trapped by it long enough. For Emilia it was the way it always was. Constantly cold, always snowing, large crystalline flakes, the sticky kind that's perfect for building large lumpy snowmen. Emilia's not thinking about snowmen right now though, thoughts of that nature have taken up residence in a far corner in the back of her darkening mind, maybe to be reflected upon later, when the world is more quiet, but that's unlikely. Her young mind in constant alert, is always on edge, watching and untrusting. Nothing was safe anymore, always moving now, from one tired and lethargic place to another, but when you're a poor and wanted fugitive that's all life can really give you. And today would be no different, somewhere in northern Russia, Emilia was making the long and tiring trek between towns and small villages. Whenever she'd reach one she'd manage to talk her way into a home, and for chores and a helping hand would sometimes receive food and a nights lodging, not to mention the perfect opportunity to steal a few things, usually a few items of clothing or money.

Change was good, change kept you alive, but even for someone in Emilia's worn shoes there were a few things she refused to alter, her hair for one, fugitive or not, her mass of dark locks was her pride and joy, even if at the moment her main was greasy, dirty and full of knots and tangles that she chose to keep in a long messy braid hidden away in the layers on softly patterned scarf's and shawls that draped her slender shoulders. The last thing that Emilia refused to give up was her Dragunov sniper riffle and an American ACR 6.8 assault riffle, the Dragunov she kept disassembled in a bag she carried over her shoulder, the ACR slung across her back under a coat, all safely hidden from view.

Emilia was surviving one long unforgiving day at a time, working her way to Poland, and from there, well who knew, but what did it matter, she had no one that relied on her, no one to be accountable to. And that was just fine with her, it was lonely, painfully at times, but alone would always be better.

After spending the early morning trudging along the frozen earth Emilia was finally able to make out the distant outline of houses threw the gently falling snow, this was a blessed sight, she needed to rest.

Finally reaching what turned out to be a small city Emilia immediately began to canvas the first neighbourhood she came to, studying the houses crowded along the frosted side walks.

Experience has taught her that blinding going to the first house you see can be a very bad idea when you don't have any idea who is on the other side of the door. So she watched, taking a seat on a bench a few yards away. Her large hazel eyes searching, after awhile Emilia spotted to young children, a boy and a girl probably around 8 or 9, they looked healthy, and happy as they teased and poked each other.

Healthy, happy, and well clothed is a good sign, so as she waited to see what house the children ventured

into she pulled out one of her many pockets a delicate gold chain with one small gold cross and fastened the thing around her neck so it was just resting in sight on top of her scarves. Another useful tool.

The kids entered a modest two story house a few lots down from her position, walking now, towards the door Emilia to a deep breath pulled on her 'game face' and knocked loudly.

After a moment, heavy foot steps could be heard descending a set of stairs, when the door was finally opened a large woman stood there, frazzled hair, a round cheerful place and tired but soothing eyes.

"Da?" she says, but its more a question as she looks down at the young and stunningly beautiful girl on her door step, taking in the almost vagrant clothing she raised her brow and waited for the girl to speak.

"I need a place to sleep for the night, I'm pregnant and on my way to the Catholic monastery past Urarovka. I can work and clean and will by gone at dawn" Emilia said sadly in Russian her eyes large and pleading. The woman= took a moment to think on this, her own eyes judging till they landed on the trinket around the girls neck and smiled. Nodding she beckoned Emilia inside.

"Yes yes my dear, come in, you can help me with dinner"

Emilia smiled to herself at her lame story actually working so well so many times and followed the woman inside.

OMG! Wow that's kind of short, this is my first story ever to be posted, all up for constructive criticism to!