O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

In an instant, her day had become exponentially better. As the ferris wheel rises to its highest peak, it's as if the whole world is at the tip of her fingers. The wind caresses her, moving her body towards the railing of the enclosed box that carries a couple dozen more people around them. Yet as the buzzing of voices carry through the air, she feels as if she were the only one here floating in an endless flight with the hope that she can touch everything she sees amidst the clouds. Sesshomaru keeps a continuous and helpless gaze at her as she stands. The wind perfectly conveys an image of her that will last in his head for an eternity. He could see how perfect she was, her smile had seemed to bring out the sun that had been hiding behind the clouds all morning, and her eyes shimmered in such a way that would put a sun-setting ocean to shame. He honestly didn't know how much longer he could pull off this facade of tease-able contentment toward her. Of course, she didn't need a lovesick puppy, she needed a foundation, she needed strength and shelter, if not from the world than simply from herself. She needed somebody...

He needed somebody.

He follows her as she stands to accompany her at such a sight to behold. What a sight it is. What a moment this is to share with her to catch even a momentary glimpse of this perfect view of a seemingly perfect world. They explored together as he would catch a secret glimpse or two of her resonating in this memorable moment. It is here when, for the first time in his life he has finally admitted to himself that he is not as perfect as he had often portrayed himself to be. He has been putting on a front for so long, even he had even become falsely accustomed to believe the lie that he has made about himself. He thought he didn't need anything; he thought he didn't need anyone.

Then he met Rin. That moment when they met, he merely saw just another fragile human who produced nothing more than the ability to reproduce offspring with the many talents to abide. But the very moment her inner fire sparked aflame in front of him did he start to become intrigued. The more he pushed her buttons, the more she would explode with such a fire he had never had the pleasure of experiencing before. She was like a lighter, just push her and she will set the world ablaze. It didn't take long for her fire to tease the flame inside of himself. At last he had found something that he didn't even know was missing. He had realized that the lie that he had pretended to be was unlivable and he internally demanded more. That was why he always teased her, picked on her, played with her. He needed that fire to roar back at him. He needed that kick, and boy does she kick.

He needs her as much as she needs him.

They stood, frozen in time, it seemed, dozens of meters up, on top of the world...

He just couldn't resist it anymore.

Closer and closer he had come to her without even realizing it as he gently snakes his arm around her. She doesn't mind as she comfortably leans into him. And as spontaneously beautiful as it may have been to catch her in such a surprising yet lovely embrace, the box car starts to descend to the earth, once more. Luckily he was able to catch himself before she had begun to notice what he was doing. It wouldn't have exactly been regrettable, but a tad bit inappropriate, nonetheless, with what had happened to her the night before. That remained at the forefront of his mind all up until this. The kiss that he had given her last night, no matter how needed it was for the both of them, was enough of a risk. Regardless of the endless conflict in his mind, they both silently agree to appreciate the comfortable silence that gently arises within them as they travel back to the solid ground, once more. She makes a little comment here, and he proceeds to make her smile with little mischievous retorts and they follow the crowd into the dock as they slowly but surely walk os one entity. She nuzzles under his arm, and his grasp takes a hold of her hip as he proceeds to speak of what he had planned for the rest of the day.

She had lost herself in such a silent bliss from such an amazing and memorable memory that they created thay she hadn't even realize that she had been glued to his right side for almost an hour. She hadn't taken a hand off of him since they started ascending the large Ferris Wheel earlier. It wasn't until she felt the subtle sensation of his hand gently adding the smallest pressure atop of her hip to assure that he still had a firm hold of her.

She suddenly awakens from her living daydream of endless smiles and playful quarries to see something does not feel right.

She continues to look to him as he looks towards the city for their next destination and she keeps listening to him list off what, she believed to be mostly expensive things that they were supposed to do.

Then she realized where she had her arm, where he held his hand... what they were doing...

What she was doing...

"No." She says in confirmation, suddenly stopping them in their tracks as she pulls herself away from him.

"What?" He asks so nonchalantly. Maybe she didn't like the idea of eating seafood.

"N-no. I can't." she shakes her head in rejection.

"You can't - what?" Sesshomaru stands in confusion, bringing them to a stop in the middle of the pier.

"This." she opens her arms in the slightest. "I- I can't do this."

His body tenses in the slightest. "Rin-"

"No." she refuses to let him speak. I... just... I can't-" she becomes a little defensive as she starts to back away as if she were leaving.

"Can't... what, Rin?"

"I just..." she just can't say. She didn't even know what to say. All she knows is that she couldn't explain it. She just sighs. "Just never mind." she adds, disclosing the conversation as she started to walk away from him.

"Wait," he decidea to say as he starts to pursue her, "you don't even know where you're going." he says catching up with her. "What is the matter?"

"Just leave it, okay?" she said, refusing to face him. "I am just going back to the car."

"No, I am not just going to leave it." he said taking a hold of her arm to stop her.

She rips it away in force. "I said just leave it!" she said spinning around in anger. If he wanted to see her face, then fine. "I don't want to go anywhere! I don't want to eat! I don't want to shop! I don't want to spend your money, I don't want this! How hard is it for you to understand? I just want to go back to the hotel and just stay there. Is that too muh to ask?"

"Rin," he tries to calm her as he starts to see a crowd start to form. "That's enough."

"No! It's obviously not enough, because you never seem to learn." She starts to become defensive as people start to watch.

"Rin, you need to calm down." his voice gently grows with concern, concern that can easily be mistaken for anger, which, of course, is what Rin heard.

"No! I am done trying to stay calm. I am done appeasing you. I am so done trying to make everything look okay when it's not!"

"You want to go back, fine, then let's go back. I refuse to quarrel with you. Especially in public."

"Oh, that's right. Make me look like the child. Make me look like the idiot every time I am with you. With your stupid little belittling nature, and your creepy little mind tricks and y-your annoying testosterone filled attitude! I'm sick of it!" she expected him to reply. But none came. He just remained silent. So she continued. "Ever since we met, you saw my pathetic little life and decided that you were going to control it. Spoon-feeding me, housing me and dressing me like a doll, and shoving me out into the world like your little slave!" Her continuous word vomit starts to bring some confusion to Sesshomaru.

"What are you talking about?"

"You! I'm talking about you! Wrapping me in shreds and trying to make it look like a bow! Paying me and trying to buy me off with cheap gifts and stupid crap. You found me on the street and adopted me like a dog. You felt like you were doing a service; felt like you were giving to charity because that is all I am to you! So you just shower me with meaningless crap, trying to disguise it as something special when it is just a way for me to owe you later because you give me a little bread and wine while you sleep in your California king size bed at night, hoping that one day I can just be another notch on your bedpost-"

Sesshomaru can't do anything but to just let her continue.

"I'm not your poor little bitch! Okay!" Whoa. That escalated quickly. Sesshomaru's eyes widen at her words. He is glad that no one can understand what she's saying in an English speaking country. "I am not stupid! I am not incompetent of taking care of myself. I don't need you! I am not a charity for your stupid little good deeds! I am a person! I can take care of my own demons without any help from you. But you just don't accept that! You won't leave well enough alone! In the end I am going to have no choice but to owe you with the only thing that I can afford to pay you back with, because that is all I am to you - A PRIZE!"

Now... he understands.

"Well tough luck, you manipulating bitch! Because there is something that I have learned that you never taught me- I AM NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON!"

"Rin-"

"I am a person!" She screams at the top of her lungs. "I am a person! I am a Goddamn person, damn it!" She starts to cry.

"Rin," he whispers as he starts to step closer to her.

"I am done calming down! I am done staying silent! I am done trying to hide what you have done to me! Stop treating me like a child. Stop treating me like I am nothing! I am something... I'm worth more... Why wouldn't you let me be worth something?" She starts to fade as her body falls to her knees in endless sobs. Sesshomaru catches her in an instant and she makes a small effort to push away from him.

"Let me go- I hate you! I hate you, mom! I HATE YOU!" This is the last thing she shouts before he cradles her head toward his chest as she starts to sob within his chest. She continues to beat on him in built up anger through all of these years. He just sits there letting her abuse him until she exhausts herself. She starts to slow down as she lowers her head even more as she slowly but surely comes to the realization of what she had just done - Both to herself and to SSesshomaru.

And... the public?

There is a crowd around them, now eyeballing the strange foreign couple that sits on their knees in sobs. She silently gasps as she hides her head in impossible ways so no one could see her ridiculous face.

"Help..." she peeps in a whisper as Sesshomaru heeds her request. Standing, he effortlessly cradles her in his arms, and carries her to the limo that had been waiting.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

The whole ride back was a complete blur to her, but he remembered it well. She sat in his lap, never parting from him, nor him from her. He held her tightly as her head rested upon him in reassurance. She never opened her eyes fearing that this wasn't just another nightmare but the real thing. She is not ready to deal with that yet. Instead, she just continuously buried her head inside of his shirt. He cradled her like a rare breakable object where the slightest misplaced touch could send her crumbling.

The ride for her felt like an eternity in hell. The things that she said to him... She just wanted to bury herself alive and never show herself in society ever again.

'Why, Rin? Why? Why couldn't you have been strong enough? Why were you so weak? Look what you have to live with now.'

"Face it Rin-"

She squeezed her grip tighter on Sesshomaru's shirt.

"You are exactly-"

"No-"

"Who I want you-"

"No!"

"We're here." Sesshomaru brings her back to life.

She suddenly releases a saddened sigh. "No..." the word almost sounded residual.

"Come on," he whispers back as he leads her back to her sanctuary.

It's safe to assume that they spent the evening in. Rin refused to even show her head above the covers, let alone, look at Sesshomaru. She had officially lost it. She had gone ballistic- completely insane! She belonged in the insane asylum after the scene she had created. And she had no one to blame but herself. She couldn't face anyone again... She just remained cocooned in her covers until the sun started to set. She even held her bladder for as long as she possibly could.

Sesshomaru felt absolutely helpless, and knew that he would remain so for a while. He settled for the appeasement of knowing where she was going to be for the rest of the night, though the reason was a painful reminder of how helpless he actually was.

He tried to get his mind off of the subject, working on columns for the next week's news that he would get through his emails, busy work to keep him busy, but nothing did it. All he could do was think of what she had said (or rather shouted) to him.

He resonated with every word. Finally hearing the root of the problem towards the end, he faced himself with the realization that some of those words in the beginning were, indeed, meant for him. He had no idea how much it had bothered her. He knew that she had been misplaced by her situation, that comes with sudden and extreme change in lifestyle, and he knew that she hated it when it came to people helping her, and living in a home with support, but he had no idea how much it had consumed her. She has a lot of pride, and with pride comes a stubborn fault to never want to accept help from people.

This might be something that Sesshomaru knows about all too well, as well as does his father.

Then then again, when he heard her shout the word "mother", he then began to create and concrete some similarities in everything that she had said. Which words were directed at him? Which at her? What had her mother do to her to make Rin do what she had done today, ages after her death, especially? He concluded that there was a combination of many avenues that she really needs to speak to a professional about. He had become frustrated at himself, but furious at her mother. Why else would she bring up both at the same time. This made him really wonder what her mother was like, if he were there when she was alive, would he have even been able to bear letting her raise Rin to be... the woman that her mother had become.

He also remembered the comment about him thinking that she were a charity... That she was adopted like a dog... dressing her in ribbons? Owing him? She even went as far as accusing him of such a hideous thing that she were nothing more than a prize. - yet he firmly recalled that he said, and he meant, the exact opposite, and it seems that she remembered. She also said that, that was something that she learned- Apparently, that was something that she had to learn.

It completely broke his heart in two because she was brought up in such a way.

What did she go through as a child?

Sighing in devastation of realizing how much Rin had really gone through in her life, he felt even more helpless than before. He knew, from generous information, that Rin's mother wasn't the nicest woman, and even when she was alive, Izayoi informed him that Rin never talked about her much. But that didn't stop the whole daycare from fearing that there was something more happening behind closed doors. When Rin's mother had first passed, Izayoi and Pop's had tried to help Rin, but she just rejected it, saying she couldn't impose. They never understood why she never would fully accept a helpful hand, but always sneaked help here and there, be it a carpool on rainy days, or forcing her to stay after work to have a decent meal.

They knew that she had a rough time, but Sesshomaru had just learned that no one, even with the help of the glimpse of what was inside of her, no one knew the whole story.

The sun had set. The news channel flickered its basic nightly news as it quietly hummed in the background. At this time, Sesshomaru was running low on patience of his own. He wanted to do something, a-n-ything, to a point where it is driving him bat-shit crazy.

So he stood up, against his better judgement, went up to her door, against his will, and against every fiber of his physical being, knocked.

...*Knock knock*...

"Rin,"

...

No answer- as he guessed.

*knock*

"Rin, open up."

...

Nothing.

"I'm hungry."

...

"And I know you're starving."

...

"I am ordering alcohol."

...

"Lots of it."

...

He doesn't know that she is listening.

"With a side of food."

...

He doesn't realize how intently she is listening.

"And you're buying."

She covers herself tighter.

...

"You owe me $75."

...

...

...

"Rin?"

...

Still nothing.

That's it.

"Okay, Ms. Tamiko. You want to do something for yourself? Then talk." he says, laying the cards on the table. "You want to be in control, then do it. Face it. Fight whatever it is that you haven't fought yet." He continued to speak through the door. "All of this silence you continue to keep, all of the inner turmoil that you have been burdened with through all of this time, all of this has led to what happened today. And I know for a fact that you don't want to do that again." Hw stands at the door ready to burst it open.

Silence is still heard from the other side. Deeply inhaling, he stares at the pearly white door in front of him. In a huff, he shakes his head at this idiocracy and sits himself down right at the door.

"I lost a mother, too." He admits.

Her eyes open wide. Her gasp is silent, but genuine.

"She was..." He struggles to say, "She wasn't easy to get along with." His words are simple and low. He isn't even sure if she can hear him. "She and I had an argument before she died." His voice releases more than he planned on admitting. "It was... hard."

More silence ensues. He wonders if she is even in the room at all.

"You were right today." he continues through his mental filter. "You can fight your inner demons," he quotes her. "But in order to fight them, you first have to face them. It's time to start doing what's right for you, Rin. You told me you are strong enough to fend for yourself. Are you really?" He takes a moment for the question to sink in before continuing, "Then prove it. Prove it to the world. Prove it to me.

"Prove it to yourself.

She tries not to listen, but that is becoming difficult to do.

He continues, "You are going to get help from people, not because you are a charity bank, not because people feel sorry for you, but because- believe it or not, Ms. Tamiko, people care very deeply for you."

A tear forms in her eye.

He continues, "And I now realize that you don't reject it because you don't want it. You reject it because you have never experienced it before. But none of that is going to fix you. You want to fully free yourself of these chains that you have been placed in, you need to make that decision for yourself.

"It's your call.

"You have to make that choice, Rin.

"No one can make it for you.

"And no one can take it from you, either."

Her eyes opened wide in the dark space.

"You are in control, Rin."

"You."

"Not me"

"Not my father."

"Not Izayoi."

"Not even your mother."

...*gasp*...

"You are the only one that holds this power, Rin. Believe it or not, you are the one in control."

...

...

...

Nothing.

For the first time in history, Sesshomaru opens himself up, makes himself vulnerable, and... nothing. After a dreaded and long silence at the door, he stands. Defeated and amiss, he dismisses her door and heads for the phone. He wasn't lying about the booze. He also got a meal for two. He didn't lie about that either, he just knew that the other meal wasn't going to be eaten.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Midnight rolled around. All was quiet in the suite, quaint, peaceful, to Sesshomaru's dismay. He lounges on his made bed, head leans against the headboard and arm hanging out, sleeves rolled up to his elbow, with a half empty glass. He had, had quite the drink, more than he'd like to admit, but nothing a professional drinker such as himself couldn't handle.

How much more quiet could it get?

...*creek*...

The silent sound barrier was broken with the slow swing of a door on the other side of the room.

His eyes travel from the late night talk show to a door with a mysterious eye peeking out from behind the door and a sleeve covered hand holding, said, door. The eye somehow looked remorseful, almost as if it were waving a white flag of surrender.

"...Hi," the eye manages to squeak just above a whisper.

He slowly nods in an invitation, "hello there,"

She slowly accepts the invite and enters shyly, showing her oversized rock n roll band shirt and pj pants combo, complete with a messy bun at the top of her head and red eyes from her crying. To him, he had never seen a more beautiful creature, but he has grown accustomed to holding his emotions well. He is not feeling up to showing anything to her at that moment.

"It's alive," he adds as he sits up to pour her a glass of wine, knowing all too well that she only came for the alcohol, and maybe food.

For the first time this evening, there was a small smile that sneaked upon her face. She walks to the opposite side of the bed, and just climbs in, making herself comfortable next to Sesshomaru. She sits up against the wall, legs crossed, and eyes glossed over what was playing on the television. Taking a deep breath, both find contentment in their truce. He offered her the full glass, she accepted in silence, since silence was a language they spoke well together.

Both only pay half attention to the nightly entertainment as they both didn't know what to make of their impasse. Truth be told, Rin came out to settle something. And by golly, that is what she is going to do.

She takes a gulp of the expensive red wine. "Thank you,"

"Don't thank me." he says swirling the liquid in his cup. "You're buying." he apparently wasn't joking.

She took that moment to down the whole glass.

He added, "Trying to catch up, are we?-"

She took a hold of his forearm.

"Sesshomaru," she looks to him, wanting to see him square in the eye.

He becomes a statue, only moving his head to acquiesce her request. She looks to him with new eyes, softened eyes... eyes of adoration.

Eyes of a deeper thanks than he had first seen.

"Thank you." the words were the same but... different. She says it with a whole new meaning, in a way that her voice sings with such magical words. His eyes show his silent appreciation as he leans over his bed to set his glass upon the end table. She follows suit, that is, before she switches her position to sitting on her knees.

"Going somewhere?" he asks, watching her closely. She only faces him, moving closer, and closer, and closer.

She smiles. "No."

His lips thinned, and there was an, ever so slight rise in them. "Don't you think you should?" He whispers as she travels as close to him as she can get.

Her knowing smile remained. "No."

His eyebrow gently arose. "Do you know what this means..." he looks to her lips.

"This means..." she lingers as she slides a hand up his chest. "...it's time to start fixing myself." is the last thing she said before she closes any distance left between them by oh, so, gently touching her precious lips to his.

He purrs in a deep satisfaction as she slowly parts from him, eyes fluttering open, she sees a new and hungry disposition. "You shouldn't have done that." His husky voice says kissing her back, vigorously pulling her close to hold her up on him, taking a different kind of control.

Taking such angelic care of such a fragile being, he holds her close with such protectiveness. His arms lock around her torso as she digs her fingers inside of his long and amazing hair. She expertly challenges his sensual expertise as she leans all the way into him. No pain would be felt in her tonight, only ecstasy. That is what she deserves, after all. Tonight he will show her what it feels like to live in a world without pain. No worries, no second thoughts, no hatred, she would even lose the word "no" in her vocabulary and replace it with such a more magical and practical word... "more..."

He is beyond ready to show her a new world that she had never seen before.

As he holds her with the most beautiful sensual embrace, he caresses her cheek, gently pulling her even closer to him. Then she felt something... But it wasn't what she felt in her dream the night before. In her dream, it was feverish, lustful, and full of quick movements and fast paced locks of passion. But this... with him holding her, taking his time, learning every crease and crevice of her sexy body, slowly moving his way from her now swollen lips to her neck, and even towards her breasts, she feels something completely new. There is a different twinge in her tummy, one that she never wanted to part with. She feels the urge to comply, to hold him tightly and securely, trusting him as he puts his trust in her, letting him have control just as he lets her.

It is a beautiful moment of consensuality as he lays her down softly. Her hair drapes perfectly down the side of the bed as if they were in a romantic movie scene. Regardless of how she actually looked, she struggles to remember how she perceived herself earlier in the day, losing herself in the drunkenness of the moment. She feels flawlessly beautiful. The way he handles her, holds her, caresses her, kisses her, he is so gentle as if she were breakable. She feels rare and lovely.

This is the way that Sesshomaru makes her feel, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Neither of them recalled when they had lost any barriers of clothing, but they didn't miss a beat. It feels like the heartbeat of an eternity before they were under the protective barrier of the covers.

He kisses her with such care, such adoration, such love... such experience, but her lack of confidence returns and forces her to pull away, just in the slightest, suddenly unsure.

"What's the matter?" he whispers, gently comforting her shoulder, brushing her hair back to gently nip at the crease of her neck. "We can stop, if you like." But he continues to place lazy kisses all over her.

"I..." she physically could not push him away as her grip tightened around him. "I'm just-" she silently sighs as she leans into his touch with a soft, leisurely sigh. "I'm not...used to this...sensation." she hums her last word.

He hums in response. "The hardest part is over," she feels his grin upon her neck, as his hand slowly travels down, which causes her to grow major goosebumps. "And I much prefer this version of you."

Her grasp of his neck suddenly collapses.

He senses a familiar scent of tears threatening.

"That's not what I meant." she says stopping once more.

He stops to look at her. His eyes show nothing but the yearning for her smile. "Then what is this... sensation that you are not used to?" He asks as he gently cups her cheek to stop the tiniest tear from falling.

She tries to stay strong. "...The... happiness." she finally says as she holds his palm.

His beautiful, little lost girl.

He pulls her in such a tight embrace, holding her close with his forehead touching hers.

"Well, you are just going to have to get used to that," he looks into her amazingly beautiful eyes of hers, "Because from this moment on," his strong hands held her closely, "that is the only sensation that you will ever feel." His lips catch hers.

She parts ever so slightly as she feels another tear. She just had to ask. "...really?" it fell.

"Let me prove it."

And in that instant, her mother's voice finally fell silent.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

You're welcome.