So, I planned on this being up earlier but after AP testing and finals,

I just didn't want to do any kind of writing. So my apologies.

I stand in front of my parent's house contemplating if I should ring the doorbell or just walk in. Usually I just walk in but it feels completely different tonight. I don't look forward to these dinners as I've pointed out many times, but I am looking forward to seeing my brother.

There's gotta be big news or something because he's staying here for quite awhile. Typically he only visits for a couple days. And on top of that, his fiancé is here with him.

I continue standing in front of the door and I want to punch myself for being an idiot. It's fucking cold as hell and I can't even bring myself to ring the doorbell. Just as I do decide to take action, the door flies open and Andrew's standing in the doorway with a huge grin on his face. "Well, look who decided to stop by." He jokes. I'm sure my mom told him that I'd be here tonight.

"Speak for yourself," I smirk. He laughs in return and pulls me in for a hug. "Missed you, San."

"Ditto," I laugh. He pulls away and looks at me.

"Still can't express how we really feel, I see." He chuckles. I guess that's kind of a major difference between Andrew and I. He's kind of emotional. And I don't mean like the overdramatic emotional but he's more emotional than I am. It's weird, I know.

I see Lydia rounding the corner and she spots me.

Lydia. How my brother managed to get a girl like her, is the million dollar question (Abuela says it's the Lopez Charm). She's like the dream girl. Insanely gorgeous. Like, she's the type of gorgeous you see in magazines and what not. On top of that, she's the nicest person you will ever meet.

"San!" She practically pushes my brother out of the way and engulfs me in a hug. "I'm glad you're here."

I smile and hug her back. "Abuela's guilt trip did the magic." I confess pulling back.

Lydia turns to my brother and smirks. "Hand it over, Drew." she says holding her hand out in front of Andrew.

He rolls his eyes, digs in his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He pulls out a twenty and hands it over to her.

I give them a questioning look but when I see the look on my brother's face, I don't really need an explanation. "Really? You guys made a bet on whether I'd show up or not?"

"This is why I love you, Santana." Lydia says, flaunting the twenty dollars in front of my brother. "You're unpredictable." She says continuing. I look to my brother and shake my head letting him know that I don't like being the subject of bets.

Mom rounds the corner before I can say anything else to him. She practically squeals and pulls me in for a hug. I mentally roll my eyes. Mom pulls me in the house and leads me to the kitchen. I expected to see my dad already there, but I guess he hasn't made an appearance yet. It's a good thing because somedays I can't stand the sight of him and this day might be it.

"He's in his office, honey. Did you want to go say hi?"

"Nah," I say shaking my head. "Don't want to disturb the King."

I hear a snicker come from Andrew and I was going to give him a high five but then he received a glare from Lydia and put his hand down quick. Psh, whipped. "Santana, you know it's not like that." My mother chastises.

"Oh, my dear mother, would you like to enlighten me on how it's like then?" Yeah, if it wasn't obvious before, I'm kind of a sarcastic little shit.

"You know he loves you, Sweetie." She continued rambling on after that, but I just stopped listening.

I jump on the kitchen island and play with my phone instead. Eventually she stops talking and turns her attention to me after realizing that I wasn't listening to her. She takes the phone from my hand, "No phones at the dinner table. You can have this back after dinner."

"Ma, c'mon. I won't take it out during dinner." I say, reaching out to take back the phone from her grasp. She pulls back. "No, this way, you'll have to stay the whole dinner too. No storming out again." She says sternly.

I let out a sigh. "Fine." She motions for me to get off the table and I make my way to the dinning room. Andrew and Lydia following behind me. I'm guessing Mom went to get my dad. Andrew sits next to Lydia and I sit in front of Andrew. "I hate these fucking dinners." I mumble.

"Language, Santana." My mom says, walking in the room. She has like incredible hearing because I'm sure my brother didn't even hear me. My mom takes the seat next to me and we sit waiting for my dad. All the dishes are already here so I guess my mom had people prepare the dinner.

"So, what are you doing here, Drew?" I question.

He looks to Lydia the same time that she looks to him. They share a small smile and turn back to me. "We've got news but lets wait till Dad get here," He answers.

I shrug my shoulders. "Sure."

Just then, walks in the man himself. I study him as he walks in. "Santana, nice of you to join us." He says, looking directly at me.

"No, Mr. Lopez, nice of you to join us, since you're the one we're waiting on here." I shoot back. I feel Andrew kicking my leg under the table, telling me calm down. I guess that wasn't a good way to greet him but in my defense, he was being a dick.

"You're right," he says and I just roll my eyes. "I'm sorry about that." He apologizes, and I can't help it when I roll my eyes again because he's just so full of shit.

He makes his way to where he usually sits which is the head of the table. "Shall we pray?" My mom nods and takes my dad's hand.

Another thing with my parents, they're religious. I mean, they didn't really push it at my brother and I when we were younger but they made it be known that they'd like us to believe the same things they believe. When they found out I was gay, it was a fucking ball. I chuckle internally just thinking about it. It's weird too, you'd think my dad took it harder than my mom but it was the opposite. He didn't really care, I mean, why would he? He barely spends time with us anyway so it doesn't have any effect on him. My mom on the other hand was...well surprised to say the least. She didn't take it well and there wasn't much I could do about it so we just stopped talking for awhile. When graduation rolled around was when she finally got over it. I guess she knew that if I wasn't going to talk to her when I was at home, she'd never hear from me again as soon as I left for college.

I feel a kick to my shin under the table and it breaks me out of my thoughts. I guess we're done praying. I look up to my brother because I already know it was his doing. "What?" I hiss. The kick hurt.

"Santana," my mom says, warningly. "Watch your tone."

"Yeah, yeah." I mumble, looking back down at my plate.

"So, Santana. How is everything going with your studies?" It's my dad. I know the answer that he wants to hear. 'It's horrible dad, I want to change my major. Maybe go to law school. Or maybe study the same thing you did and take over the family business. Yeah, fuck that.

"Fantastic." I say, while chewing on the food in my mouth.

I look up to meet his eyes and he nods in response. "Do you think you'll find a good job after you graduate? I mean, that is the whole point of college right?"

I scoff at him. "I don't know, father. What is there to do with an English Degree?" Sarcasm has always been my favorite language.

"I just want you to be able to support yourself, Santana." He states. "I want you to get a good job and I just feel that if you went into law or medicine you'd be more well set off." There it is. I swear, it's the same damn conversation every time we talk.

"I may not find a good enough job for your standards, Dad, but I will find a good job because a good job to me is one that I enjoy doing. Money plays a minuscule role in the matter. And I know that's not the case in your eyes because you make a shit ton of money off of tearing places down." When I finish, my brother gives me a smirk to which I return and my mom stands up.

I'm positive my father's about to say something in his defense but my mom stops him. "Enough. This is a family dinner and we are not starting an argument, five minutes into the dinner. This conversation is being dropped and we will not talk about it again. Okay?" She looks to me but I don't bother looking back. Instead I just cross my arms.

I don't talk for the rest of the dinner. Instead it just my mom talking to Lydia. When my brother's voice joins into the conversation is when I look up. "So I know you guys are a little curious as to why Lydia and I are here."

I raise an eyebrow because this is really like...overdramatic. "I got a job offer here. It's a really good law firm and it's closer to home." He says.

"Wow, congrats," I give him a high five a a smile. I'm excited for him because he really deserves it. He worked his ass off during law school and passed the bar on the first try.

He gives me a big smile in return. "So really, what we're trying to say here is that we'll be moving to California."

My mom squeals, stands up and goes to give him and Lydia a hug. "That's great news, Honey! Oh, I'm so excited! Now you guys can have your wedding here!"

"Yeah, we've already gotten a place picked out and we should be moving there in two weeks. We've got to go back to New York to get our stuff of course but its okay." Lydia explains.

"That's good news, Son." This time it's my dad. "I'm happy to hear you're doing well," It's kind of a low blow to me and I know it. Andrew's always done everything right in my dad's eyes. "Now this law firm, are they giving you good benefits and will they be paying you well?"

"Yeah, dad. It's a pretty big firm and I've read over the contract already." Andrew says explaining.

"Did you read it well?"

"I'm a lawyer, dad." Andrew says. My mom starts taking the dinner plates back into the kitchen because dinner is finally done. Thank god. Lydia follows my mom and helps her clear the table.

Andrew turns his attention to me, "Hey, lets go outside. We need to catch up."

I'm up before he finishes the sentence because I just can't stand looking at my dad anymore. It just pisses me off. I go out from the back. Like I said before, my parents are definitely well off so growing up, the homes that we'd had were pretty nice. We're in the backyard and it's already dark out but the multiple lights illuminate the dark night just enough. I find a chair and sit down and my brother takes the seat next to me.

He starts digging through his pocket the moment we sit down and I'm curious as to what he's looking for but I don't ask. He pulls out a cigarette and I laugh. I swear in all my life, I've never witnessed hold a cigarette, let alone smoke one. He hands it to me and I give him a confused look.

"I know I probably shouldn't give it to you but you look like you need it." he laughs. I don't argue with him there because I really do need something to distract myself. I take it and light it up.

"Why do you even have a cigarette?" I ask. "You don't smoke."

"Eh, sometimes work gets too stressful and they're a good distraction." He says shrugging his shoulder.

I offer him the cigarette but he shakes his head. "Lydia will kill me if she knows."

"Whipped." I fake cough.

"Shut up." He laughs. "Wait till you find a girl. I can't wait to see you whipped." He comments, smirking

"Yeah, well, don't count on it anytime soon. Or at all." I mumble, inhaling. I look anywhere but at him but I know his eyes are on me because he wants me to explain more. When I don't, he proceeds to ask questions.

"What happened with Ella?"

With the mention of her name, I look up. "How'd you know it was about her?"

"You're my sister. You love that girl."

I sigh, thinking back about what happened with Puck and Ella. "Shit happens." I mumble. "I don't really want to get into it but long story short, she's got someone."

I throw the cigarette on the ground and step on it. Andrew looks to me and I give him a look that says I'm indifferent about it when it's the complete opposite. He nods his head in understanding "It's her loss."

I chuckle because everyone tells me it's her loss and it makes me wonder a bit, if everyone can see that, than why can't she? But there's no point in trying to figure it out because the more I think about it the more I get pissed. I have no idea why but I guess that's just how my brain works.

"There are over seven billion people in this world and I think that's life's way of telling us that it's okay to get our hearts broken or to mess up because we'll get a second, third, fourth or how ever many chances we need."

I look to him and give him a genuine smile because when I listened to what he said, it actually made sense.

"Just look at Taylor Swift."

I throw my head back in laughter. You can always count on him to turn a deep conversation, light. We sit in the backyard and talk more. Really about anything because I missed him so much. I believe that we don't miss someone until they're gone, but I also think we don't realize how much we really miss them until they're there. Right in front of us.

I don't even realize how much time passed by until I hear footsteps behind us. We both turn around and it's Lydia. She takes a seat on the arm rest of Andrew's chair. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Just catching up," Andrew answers, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Ah, sibling bonding time. Sorry to interrupt."

I smile, "No, it's okay." I stand up. "It's getting late and I've still got to finish some homework."

They nod their head and smile. I lean in to give them both a kiss on the cheek and say goodnight because I'm pretty sure I'll see them soon anyways. With them moving to California and all. To be completely honest, I'm not sure how I feel about Andrew coming back. Sure I miss my brother and I'm really happy that he's doing well with his job but Andrew's a family oriented guy. I mean, he's as much of a fan of my dad as I am but he still puts up with his bullshit. Me? It's a different story. I just don't want him to think that him moving here means that our family will be closer because unlike Andrew, I can't hold my temper.

I stuff my hands in my coat pocket and walk back inside the house. I don't see anyone when I walk in. "Mom?" If I don't say goodnight to her she'll probably call me tomorrow and give me a lecture on it. "Mom?"

I walk in the kitchen and find her in there. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, honey!" She greets. "See, dinner wasn't that bad, was it?"

I shrug my shoulders because I guess she was sort of right. Besides the parts that dealt with my dad, dinner went really well. "It's was good, Ma." I smile to make her happy.

"But it's getting late and I've got some homework to finish so I better head out."

"Okay, sweetie." She puts her hand under the water, washes the soap off and then dries her hands. She pulls me in for a hug and I hug her back. "Did you want to say goodbye to your father?"

I scrunch my nose and shake my head. "No, thanks."

She nods her head in understanding. I give my mom a lot of shit and I know most of things in past were my dad's fault but he doesn't care now so that's why I can't really give him shit but my mom cares and I guess she has the wrong end of the stick. I love her, I really do and sometimes I really wish I could just get over it for her sake but I can't.

She holds my face in her hands. "Drive safe, sweetie."

I nod my head, pull my keys out of my pocket and start making my way out the door.

I make it home, put some left overs in the microwave and throw myself on the couch. I didn't eat much after the talk with my dad at the dinner table. I grab the remote and turn on the television. I start flipping the channels until I hear the beeping, indicating that my food is done.

Standing back up, I quickly make my way to the kitchen. I grab silverware, a water bottle and some napkins. I hate getting comfortable and then realizing I'm thirsty or that my hands are dirty so I just grab everything at once so I don't have to get up again. Some people call it laziness but I call it being smart.

I'm about make it to the couch when i hear a knock on the door. I let out a groan because I'm getting really sick of people and I'd really like some alone time. Whoever this is better be quick.

I don't bother looking to see who it is beforehand and instead just open the door. "What do you want?" I huff. I look up and I see Brittany looking up at me with arched eyebrows.

"I just walked a flight of stairs for you." She says crossing her arms in a way to look intimidating but it definitely doesn't work.

I just chuckle because it's actually quite funny. "How rude of me. What do you want, Princess?"

She smiles big. "A lot better." She uncrosses her arms and now instead holds on to the straps of her purse. I wait a second for her to continue because I have no reason as to why she's here but then again, what else could she be here for? "I...I was hoping we could talk." She says, chewing on her bottom lip. I think that's a nervous habit of hers.

It's weird. Our roles are kind of reversed because usually she's the curious one but now it's me. I rarely ever get that curious because I don't tend to attach myself enough to care but right now, it feels different because I really want to know what she wants to talk about. Eventually, without saying a single word, I step away from the doorway and open up the door for her to walk in.

She walks in and waits for me to close the door so I can lead her in. I mean, she's been here before but it's kind of nice that she respects the fact that it's my place. I take a seat on the couch and she follows, taking the seat next to me.

"I'm sorry about Sam," Brittany sighs. I just shrug my shoulders because really, what can I say? The guy is kind of a dick to me so it's not okay and I'm not nice or polite enough to say that it is.

"What's his deal with me anyways?" I ask instead. I'm curious because I've done nothing to the guy but every time he sees me it's like he's ready to throw a punch. I've met a lot of people like that and I gotta say, that's extremely unhealthy.

"Your boyfriend's got trust issues."

"He's not my boyfriend." shaking her head.

I shrug my shoulders. "Whatever you say, Blondie." I mumble more to myself because I'm sure she already knows what I think. I lean back on the couch and wait for her to really talk about what she came here for. She seems nervous because she's playing with her fingers and chewing on her bottom lip.

"So…" She starts, "Why exactly are you doing all of these pranks towards your own father?"

I'm not exactly surprised that she found out. In fact, I thought she would've figured it out sooner. Artie can only hide so much shit online. I chuckle, "How'd you find out?"

"Google." is her initial response. "When I found your last name, the pieces started to fit."

"And yet, you're here asking why I'm doing the things I'm doing." I retort.

"Can you just not be an ass for like a second?" Brittany says rolling her eyes. "I can help you Santana." She says.

I just scoff because honestly, what the hell can she do? "Look, Brittany. I'm not saying this to be rude or to hurt your feelings or whatever but, I honestly don't want or need your help." I say shrugging my shoulders. "And if that's all you're here to say, you should probably go."

"Look, I know you don't agree with some of the things that your dad does. And if we work together, I can help you show other people that what he's doing is wrong. I can help expose that to everyone. Bad media will kill him." She explains.

I have to hold back the laughter a little because she doesn't even know specifically why I'm doing all this but she still wants to help. "Do you even know what my Dad is capable of? If he finds out what your intentions are, he could ruin you. The only reason why I'm not in jail right now is because he doesn't want me to be. I could be there in a snap of a finger. You don't want to get involved with this Brittany. He's got a lot of his rich buddies and they'll tear you down."

"You don't get to tell me what I want to do. I want to help."

"I'm done talking about this." I shake my head and prepare to stand up but she pulls me back down.

"Please, Santana." She grips on my hand, begging me with her eyes but I can't.

"Brittany," I sigh. "You may think that I'm being an ass for this, but this is me being the complete opposite. I'm actually doing you a favor by telling you that you shouldn't get involved."

She stands up suddenly and pulls her arm away from me. "Fine." She huffs and moves for the door.

"Where are you going?" I roll my eyes. This is also part of the reason why I refuse to let her 'help' me. It's all a little over dramatic for my taste and that's just not what I need right now. Definitely not with this situation.

"I'm going to figure things out myself. I thought we could help each other but I guess not." With that, she slams the door.

I just shake my head because its so like her to do that. I walk to my room and when I do, I see another set of keys hanging on the wall. I grab it and stuff it in my jeans before pulling on my jacket and making my way out of there.

My family…we're kind of…different. Okay, maybe that's not the right word choice, but that's besides the point. The point is, we're rich. Like disgustingly filthy rich. Like even if I ended up dropping out of high school, I wouldn't have anything to worry about because my trust fund and my inheritance combined could probably cure world hunger. But I feel like I should earn my own money which is why I still have a job as a bartender.

Anyways, for as long as I've known, my family owns big pieces of land and specifically there's this piece of land that happens to be right by the beach. Well, my Abuelo decided to build houses on it to rent it out to families for the summer. He passed a few years ago and my father thought that land would be his. His plan is to tear the houses down so he could sell it to a hotel company because that's what he does. He likes to make profit and selling that land will making him more money but because my grandma is still alive, she owns it.

Ever since my grandpa's death, my dad's been begging my grandma to sign everything to him. It's pretty fucking inconsiderate to me and sometimes I feel like Abuela just wants to sign it over to him to get him off her back but I know she wont. The place means a lot to her. Hell, it means a lot to me. There's this one house that my grandparents would not rent out because Andrew and I would stay there with them for half the summer. Even now, Abuela refuses to rent it out. I'd know because I'm the only one that has the only set of keys to that place.

I pull into the driveway and jump off my bike. I walk up to the door and when I stand on the door step, a nostalgic feeling kind of takes over me for a second. I just stand there and remember how summers were like. I mean, it wasn't far away from home, but it was far enough from my dad. It's been awhile since I've been here and I forget why I stopped coming back but when I slide the key in and open the door, I suddenly remember why.

Everything in this place reminds me of him. To the way that it's designed, to the way that it smells. This place is Abuelo and until now, I never realized how much I missed him. I walk through the house and turn the lights on. I find myself stopping every once in awhile to look at the old family pictures. Mostly of Andrew and I. Even some with my parents.

I look at the pictures of my grandparents and I remember the stories that they would tell. How they were high school sweethearts and god it was the most cliche thing. But cliche or not, they were together for over 50 years and if that's not love, then I don't know what the hell is.

I walk out to the back and slide the back door back. I make it outside and when I see the beach, I understand why my dad wants to sell this piece of land so much. The view's beautiful and he could get so much from it. But just because I understand, doesn't mean I agree. I walk out and just sit on the sand. It's pretty late so there's no one around.

I laugh to myself because if it someone were to see me from far away, it'd probably look like a really cliche scene from a movie. A scene where the character kind of takes a breather from the world and just sits there in peace to contemplate life, ya know?

But I'm not contemplating life. In fact, I'm trying to just escape it for a moment. I'm just enjoying the view because it's just so fucking beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it because I know it's going to come to an end so why not just enjoy things while you can.

Eventually the cold night gets to me so I go back inside. I even consider sleeping in the house for the night because it's been awhile and it's far away from all the other crap. It's almost like a safe haven. But I decide against it because it's just all too much at once. I mean, it's been awhile, sure, but when you lose someone that close to you, you can't never really forget everything. And you know that tugging feeling you get in your chest just from thinking of them? Well, it starts to hurt and I can't deal with that right now.

I have no idea how or why but I always find my way back at Sylvester's. It's definitely not a good thing considering how much I take advantage of free alcohol. Sue doesn't know. But hey, what she doesn't know wont kill her. Plus, it's not like I'm the only employee that takes advantage of it. Fortunately, Mike's working tonight and it's not busy so he doesn't mind sliding beers in my direction. "So, hows the Ella situation going?"

"Eh. Whatever. I swear, just the mention of her name kills my vibes."

Mike chuckles. "Understandable." He wipes the counter top and throws the cloth over his shoulder. "But has she tried tried to contact you again?"

I take a drink of the beer and as I bring the bottle back down, I shake my head in response to his question. "And for that, I'm grateful. Honestly, I'm just so done with her shit. And Puck. I'm just done with both of them. I've come to realize that I'm not even mad about it anymore. Do you know how fucking exhausting it is to care? It's such a shitty thing because caring about something or someone is supposed to be good and shit, but you're never given the guarantee that they'll care about you in return. I mean, you treat someone like they matter and they don't even have the audacity to do the same to you? That's complete and absolute bullshit."

"You're right." he agrees.

"Fuck yeah, I am." I bring the bottle to my lips and take a gulp.

"You're absolutely right, Santana," he gives me this looks and I know there's going to be a 'but' in his sentence. "…but, I think when you meet someone that you care about, you're not worried about yourself getting that same affection in return. In that moment you don't give yourself the chance to think about how you will be in the end because it's never been about you."

I grab the bottle from the counter and bring it up closer to my face. There's a little bit left and I swirl it around while contemplating the shit that Mike said. And I guess it makes sense. But I'm just so stubborn and pissed that I don't really seem to care. Plus there's some alcohol in my system so I'm not one for sentimental shit right now. "Did Tina make you watch some fucking Nicholas Sparks movie or something? That seriously sounds like a quote that would be in one of his movies."

Mike chuckles and backs away from the counter and throws the towel in my direction. I catch it on time and I laugh along with him. "I'm serious."

He shakes his head. "I am too. You're going to find a girl that makes you feel like that and she's going to drive you crazy because you've never had someone care about you half as much as she will. And she's going to confuse the fuck out of you. But you'll love her."

"Holy shit. Did she make you read the damn books too?" I laugh. "It's like the only thing you're capable of saying is quotes from romantic novel."

"Ha ha." Mike says rolling his eyes. "Joke all you want, San, but when it happens, I want you to come back to Sylvester's when I'm working and I want you to sit in this exact spot, order a bud light," He says pointing to the one in my hand, "and I want you to say, 'you were right, Mike.'" He says with a smug smile.

I shrug my shoulders. "Whatever. Can I have another one?" I ask, lifting the bottle up.

"Nope. I've learned to cut you off at five." He says, placing a beer in front of another customer. I'm pretty sure I'm not even drunk yet. Buzzed, maybe but definitely not drunk. I scoff but understand that he's just being Mike and being a good friend. "Fine."

When I turn around in my chair, I see that, that place is kind of somewhat filled more than before. And it just so happens that when I turn around, my two favorite people walk through the door. I turn back to Mike quickly, hoping they don't see me and they don't, but judging by the looks on their faces, it looked like they were looking for someone and I'm 99.9% positive that someone is me.

"Pssst. Mike."

"Hm?" I motion for him to look behind me and when his eyes widen in surprise, I know that he gets it. "What the hell are they doing here? And together? Jesus christ." He shakes his head. "I bet—oh shit—they—fuck, they made eye contact with me." He whispers.

I give him the best glare that I can muster up. "Seriously, Mike?"

"Sorry! You can leave through the back if you want?" he suggests. I nod, accepting his offer but as I turn around and start to get up, they're already right in front of me.

"Whoa." I mumble. They look at me and I look at them. Surprisingly I'm the one who actually speaks first. "Noah," I acknowledge. "Ella." I say nodding.

Puck looks super confused and drunk and Ella looks like she does't know if she wants to just talk or cry but she keeps her hold on Puck. I just give them the same blank stare because, showing no emotions is always a good thing. "San, I'm sorry, but Puck wanted to talk to you." She whispers.

"What's there to talk about?" I ask, genuinely. Because at this point, I don't see any point in conversing about anything. I feel like everything that needed to be said has been said and that's the end of it.

"San, cut the shit, okay? We just want to fix things." Puck says, flinging his hands around as if that would fix things.

"There's nothing to fix," I say shrugging my shoulders. "I'm cool, you guys seem cool. Everything's fantastic."

"Bull shit. I know you're pissed. Why are you acting so fucking calm about this?" Puck questions, raising his voice. I give him an incredulous look because he's actually pissed at me? This is bullshit.

Drunk or not, my emotion usually get the better of me and when I'm pissed, I'm pissed.

"You know what Puck? Fuck you. Is that what you want to hear? Because I can fucking say it again. Fuck you and fuck you," I say pointing to Ella, "Fuck both of you guys. I'm not fucking doing this shit here." I scoff at him before walking away. An arm stops me before I can get any further. Puck stops me with his hand on my shoulder.

"We're talking about his, Santana." He says, with his eyes narrowed. I spare a look at Ella and she just stands there looking nervous.

"I'm not fucking talking about anything. Take your hands off of me." He doesn't and I think Ella senses how tense it is so she steps in the middle of us. "Puck, stop." She pushes him back to put some space between us but he keeps coming back towards me.

"No, I'm not going to stop." He says throwing his hands up. At this point, we've managed to get the attention of almost everyone in Sylvester's. I'm pretty sure this isn't going to end well and I'm just praying that Sue doesn't find out that I was in the middle of it.

A shove breaks me away from my thoughts and I stumble back a little.

"Puck!" Ella practically yells and now I'm sure we've got everyone's attention.

"You know what? I was going to apologize to you, but then I realized, I'm not sorry for anything I did." He yells. "She came on to me, so no, I'm not sorry!"

I look to Ella and all she does is shake her head and I'm not sure what the hell that's supposed to mean. She turns to Puck and pushes him back a little harder this time. "Puck! Stop. You're drunk."

At this point, I don't have much control over my body and every single word that leaves his mouth makes me want to punch him even more and I think that's what my body is trying to do because next thing I know, I've got a good grip on the collar of his shirt.

I can hear Mike's voice telling me that it isn't worth it but I just can't let this go. "San, please don't do this." Ella says.

"You—you stay the hell out of this." I yell.

Puck's voice finally makes an appearance again, "Don't fucking yell at her."

I turn my attention back to him, clench my fist and just when I'm about to do anything, I feel someone behind me grabbing my hand. I turn around and see that it's Brittany. I turn back around to Puck and she whispers my name, "Santana," she grabs my hand and unclenches them to tangle her fingers in between mine. "It's not worth it." She manages to step in between Puck and I. She tries to loosen my grip on Puck's shirt but I don't budge.

"Please," She begs and that's when I finally look at her. "Please," she repeats. My hand instantly loosens it's grip and she takes advantage of that by intertwining that hand with her other one also. "Just look at me. Only at me, okay?"

I give her a subtle nod and she slowly she leads me out of Sylvester's. She leads me to sit on the bench and takes the seat next to me. Now, I know I'm for sure buzzed because I have to focus to make things not so blurry. I feel a hand on my face but even then, I'm not quite sure if the feelings real or just my imagination. I shake my head but when I feel another hand on my face I know it's real. Brittany holds my face still.

"Stop," She moves closer to me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I mutter, trying to remove her hands. I see her roll her eyes but keeps her hold on me. "Jesus, Christ." I still her hands on my face. "Can you fucking let go?" The moment the words slip out of my mouth, I realize how bad they sound. Brittany narrows her eyes and looks at me in a way she's never done before.

"Fine. Be an ass. I don't care anymore." She stands up from the bench, and I can't stop myself from reaching for her because like I said, I've got alcohol in my system and I don't have much control over my body. It's not a good excuse and I'll probably hate myself tomorrow.

I tug her back down and she lands closer to me than before. And you know when you actually look at someone up close? You see all the details that you usually don't see and I never realized how beautiful she is. It's weird because when you look at artwork, you have to look from far away to see how beautiful it is, but with Brittany, she's beautiful no matter where she stands. It's fucking cheesy as hell and it could be because of the alcohol in my system but it's the truth.

The sound of a door opening diverts my attention from Brittany and I look behind me. It's Puck and he looks like he still has something to say, so I stand up. Ella's right behind him, telling him to quit. He gets closer and closer and with every step he takes, the chances of me deciding to punch him increases. But then something happens and it's like all of my thoughts of Puck and Ella disappear. I feel a hand sliding against mine and tangling our fingers together. I look down and I see Brittany looking at me with a pleading look. Pleading with me to not do what I was going to do. This all feels familiar.

My attention from her breaks from Puck's voice. "You think I'm lying to you? Ask her." he says pointing to Ella. "She came on to me! I mean, it's not my fault she didn't want to be with you."

"Puck, would you shut the hell up, you're drunk!" Ella, yells, pulling him behind her.

She looks at me and at this point, I'm not even angry about this situation anymore. Puck's an ass, and that's always how he's going to be. Ella looks at me, almost as if she's asking to explain. I don't know why because I wasn't going to stop her.

"Yes, okay? Yes, I made a mistake, San. But you have to know, I don't love him. I love you." She rambles out. I think she felt like I was going to walk away from her so she had to say that last part fast. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

And as much as I hate to admit it, I know she's sorry. I can see it in her eyes, but even then, I can't begin to forgive her because most of my life, the only person I've ever really trusted besides my grandma, was her. It sucks, because you get to pick and choose who gets to see inside your walls and when you let someone in, the only person responsible for you being hurt is yourself because you let them in.

On top of getting hurt, you lose a sense of trust. Not in the other person, but yourself because how can you begin to fully trust yourself again, after you were the cause of that hurt?

"San?" I break from my thoughts and look up.

"I'm sorry, too, Ell." I say finally. "I'm sorry and I wish I could forgive you." I tell her truthfully because it's so goddamn true. So much of me wants to forgive her because even though she fucked up, there's always going to be something about someone that you love. Whether you used to love them or still do, they've got some kind of hold on you. And with Ella? She's was the first girl to ever make me believe that feelings like that even existed.

And its not in the least bit fair, but then again, nothing in life really is.

"Why can't you?" she sniffles, wiping her eyes. "I told you, I don't even see Puck like that."

I shake my head and look at Puck. He looks back at me and a part of me wants to smirk at him because I know her admitting that, hurt him but then I realize, shit isn't even worth it. "I'm not mad that you slept with Puck, Ella. Well, not anymore. I wouldn't even be mad if you told me right now that you love him. I'm mad because you didn't tell me. I'm pissed because you both knew how I felt and still did what you guys did behind my back. You were my best friend before anything and it fucking sucks that you couldn't be honest with me." I finish, shrugging my shoulders.

I see Puck's shoulder slump and that's when I decide that this is it and I don't want anything more do with what happened. I don't move though because my body doesn't. That's until, Brittany's pulls on my hand and she leads me away.

We make it to my bike and I dig through my pockets to find my keys, but she just shakes her head. "I'm not drunk," I say.

"You're not sober either." She argues back. She reaches for the keys in my hand and puts them in her pocket. "I'll take you home."

"With what—."

I start to ask but when I see her going towards the van behind my bike, I stop. "Huh." I mumble out.

She turns to me. "No smart remarks please."

I give her a small smile. "It's not that," I chuckle, "…You work for Insight?" I ask, observing the logo on the van.

She turns to me and smiles because of my smile. "Yes, I do." And the way that she says it is got to be one of the best things in the world because she looks genuinely proud of herself. I chuckle and give her a playful bow. She rolls her eyes and shoves my shoulders.

I round to the passenger side and her on the driver side. "That's really impressive, actually," I say, taking a seat.

Brittany takes the driver seat. "Thank you," She says, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She looks shy and it's unfamiliar because our conversations always contain an insult. It's unfamiliar but not bad at all. She finally looks up at me and I've come up with the conclusion that I should blame the alcohol for my actions.

My body leans in towards her before I can even begin to start thinking again. And just as my brain catches up, all movement stops and we're mere centimeters apart from our lips touching. My eyes trail over her face and as they trail back down, I can see a hint of a small forming on her face.

And this is got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

But she's beautiful and I'm okay with being an idiot.

Mistakes are mine.