"What do you think of Ivan?" Sadiq's phone buzzed.

Glancing down at the phone, he took it to the side to reread. The club was going to open in fifteen minutes so he hoped whatever was running through Kiku's mind would pass quickly.

"I don't know, he's a nice guy I guess."

":/ Nice guy?"

Sadiq rolled his eyes. "Yes? I don't know, what do you want me to say?"

"Is he trustworthy? Is he weird? Creeps are usually nice."

Sadiq shook his head and had to look away and courteously nodded to whoever was coming in the side door—which happened to be Ivan, who smiled and nodded back.

"I very highly doubt that he is a creep." Kiku definitely had a tendency to get an idea and fret over it. Sadiq added, "Just let Yao figure it out for himself." Kiku didn't respond before work started.

"Okay, so I'll see you next time," Leon said briskly as the night came to an end and Emil walked him to the door. He pulled it opened and stepped out onto the front step before Emil followed and stopped him.

"What's the deal tonight, Leon? What are you so… messed up over?" Emil questioned, finally able to question Leon's irritability all afternoon.

Leon took a moment to evaluate just how upset Emil had gotten after Leon had waived him off at every turn during his visit—like he's been treating me, he thought. He shrugged.

"I guess I'm just anxious about school starting," he bluffed.

"Not anxious about Hong Kong? What was that about? I didn't know you were going to Hong Kong this summer."

Leon shrugged, "It just came up recently. I guess I haven't had the chance to tell you." He stepped off the step, turning to go.

"We saw each other just the other day," Emil protested to his turned back.

Again, Leon shrugged. "Not for long enough, I guess," he called over his shoulder as he ambled down the steps, dragging his arm up for a short wave before disappearing around the fence.

Inside, Lukas began to wash the larger dishes from their dinner. Matthias was seated at the table still, with his chair moved so he could talk to Lukas more easily. Despite this, he stayed silent and watched Lukas' back as the other cleaned the dishes.

The silence took a moment to catch Lukas' attention. He looked over his shoulder wryly, "What are you looking at?"

"You," Matthias muttered. "Do you need help with that?"

"Yes," Lukas answered, "Because you can really help a lot with only one arm."

Matthias clicked his tongue and scoffed. "How kind of you. I can put dishes away or something."

"You really don't have to," was Lukas' emphatic response.

Matthias sighed, but dropped it. "The meal really was good. And you were nice enough to Leon."

"Tch."

"What! I know you didn't want him staying, but was so much fish…"

Lukas rinsed the pan he'd just washed and stuck it into the cupboard it belonged to and turned to give Matt a look.

"You know, it's not like I personally dislike him."

Matt raised one doubtful eyebrow.

"No, I just hate that Emil didn't tell me about them."

Matthias sighed, and was about to reply when the front door opened and Emil came back in. The two of them in the kitchen listened to his footsteps as he went upstairs. "They didn't talk for very long," Matthias observed.

Lukas shook his head in agreement, turning back to the dishes in the sink.

Matthias thought about his observation for a moment and laughed under his breath.

"What?"

"It's just—dating for teenagers is so dramatic. I'm glad we didn't do that."

Lukas rolled his eyes and didn't say anything. Matthias stayed quiet as Lukas finished cleaning up as well.

"Do you drink coffee after dinner? I can make us some."

Matthias nodded. In just a few minutes Lukas was setting down a pot of coffee, two mugs and some sugar cubes.

"Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?" Lukas asked as he waited for the sugar cube to dissolve in his coffee.

Matthias shrugged—"I'm just thinking."

Lukas stirred his coffee idly, "About…?"

"I don't know. Us."

Lukas smiled affectionately and left it at that. They enjoyed their coffee in peace.

It felt so strange, so nicely strange, to sit in amiable silence with Matthias again after everything—the years of wondering if he could possibly feel the same way, the weeks of wondering if he'd be okay, if he'd ever be the same, if he'd remember. It was like the opposite of the 'calm before the storm'. All of that felt like some weird dream. Lukas poured himself more coffee.

Lukas had considered Matthias his best friend for years, but he couldn't actually remember a time when he felt a better ambience between them than now. Even with the weight of Matthias' injuries, the knowledge that they had had mutual feelings for years that they hadn't acted on, the weight of being adults whereas they used to be so carefree—this beat back all the negativity from the years leading up to it.

Matthias grabbed the coffee pot next.

Before either of them knew it, it was getting dark outside.

"I should get going," Matthias started to get up.

"No!" Lukas said loudly; Matthias jumped a little. "I mean, you shouldn't be driving. You should, uh, you can stay the night."

Matthias, surprised and a little confused, stared at him with wide eyes, still in a semi-standing semi-sitting position. Lukas was tense and was also visibly surprised by his own outburst. "Lukas…"

"In the guest room, I mean."

"That's fine, really-"

"I insist," he crossed his arms and stood to wash out the long-empty coffee pot in way of pushing his agenda. He avoided eye contact.

Oh… Matthias mentally hit himself. The last time he was over and he left after dark…

"Alright," he ceded. "I'll stay the night."

The entire Carriedo family was crammed in Mrs. And Mr. Carriedo's small suburban home. The entire family. Mrs. Carriedo's sister snatched Sebastien away and began introducing him to everyone the moment they entered the loud, crowded living room. Bella was swept away to the kitchen because "Aunt Felicia just has no idea how to spice her beef, can you help?"

So Lars sat in the unbearably loud, hot living room. An aunt on his side of Antonio's family came and said 'hi', commented on how 'grown' he looked. He smiled and didn't respond. He couldn't remember if these people knew he was Dying.

Some man he didn't know complimented his shoes. He smiled again, and he knew it looked forced. It was really hot in this room, but he didn't want to move anywhere else.

A cousin who he recognized but couldn't place their name asked if he'd like some water. He smiled and nodded. He had felt queasy since they got to the airport, and he wondered if he could sneak away upstairs. He smiled when he took the water from the cousin—it didn't feel like she'd been gone that long, but she was already back. His smile didn't look natural, if the look on his cousin's face was anything to go by.

"Lars honey?" Mrs. Carriedo had come out of the kitchen. "Want to come to the kitchen?"

It took him only a moment to respond with a nod.

Mrs. Carriedo took his arm and led him back and away from the rest of the family. She sat him at the counter and took his now empty cup (when did he drink that?) and refilled it with ice water.

Bella was on the other side of the kitchen (which was also crowded with one cousin fussing over the salad, another creating some kind of marinade, an uncle stirring some tomato sauce; it was less crowded than the living room, though), throwing nervous glances over at him over her shoulder. "Stay here and drink water," Mrs. Carriedo told him with a wave of her index finger in his face. She went back to direct her brother on how to stir the sauce.

Lars zoned out for a while.

Kiku was watching anime when Yao got home. He could hear it as soon as he opened the door.

He thought, maybe, he'd have a chance to sneak into his room—childish, he knew, but it was worth a shot.

"Yao?" He did not get very far. In fact the front door had just closed behind him; it's probably what gave him away.

"Yes?"

"Can you come in here?" Yao slumped.

"Fine."

He went into the living room and found Kiku in his pajamas watching old 80s anime. Kiku grabbed the remote and paused it. He waited for Yao to sit down on the couch next to him.

"You stormed out before I could really talk to you this morning."

"Yeah," Yao said.

Kiku waited for the apology he probably already knew he wasn't going to get. "Well, we've already talked about how the rent is getting too high here."

Yao nodded.

"I've talked with Sadiq and Herakles and I'll probably be moving in with them. However, that leaves us with where you'll be staying."

Yao nodded.

Kiku made a displeasured face. "I talked with Mei, and she says her roommate is moving out soon, and that she could make a deal with rent for you to stay there. I could continue to subsidize your income, but—"

"That's okay."

Kiku halted at the interruption. Something wasn't processing correctly. "That's okay?"

"Yeah."

"What, exactly, is okay?"

"I think I can manage to find a place to live on my own."

"On… your own?"

"I really appreciate how much you've helped me; really, you have done a lot for me. But I think I'm ready to go out on my own again."

Kiku blinked at him.

"On your own."

Yao nodded.

"Yao if you end up homeless…"

Yao put up a hand to stop him. "Kiku, please, I'm not stupid." He pulled his pony tail to the front of his shoulder and started messing with it to busy his hands. "I'll tell you what— give me two weeks to find my own place to move to, and if after that I can't, then I will definitely talk about moving in with Mei."

Kiku waited a moment to make sure Yao was serious before rubbing his temple. "Two weeks?"

Yao nodded.

"I guess that will work with my schedule, since we're moving out in five weeks." He drummed his fingers on his own cheek. "Fine. Two weeks."

Yao smiled, his hand already going for his cell phone.

If Lars had not made the extended family on Antonio's side aware of his illness before, they were sure beginning to suspect it now.

Lars was seated between Sebastien and Bella at the table, and as the food was being passed around she took portions for herself and for Lars. She scooped small portions for Lars because she knew he didn't have much of an appetite these days. Antonio was seated across from Lars, with Lovino and Rodrigo on either side (Mrs. Carriedo was seated at the end of the table, and Lovino and Bella were to each side of her).

Although it was a long table and Lars was seated relatively far from the others, he could still feel them watch as he picked at his food. Every time he looked up, Lovino was glancing at the wall this way or that, but when Lars looked down he knew that Lovino was staring at him. Antonio and Rodrigo were, too, but that didn't piss Lars off like Lovino did. Sebastien, however, was the worst at hiding it.

"Do you not like the meat sauce?" he asked eventually.

Rodrigo cut in—"Don't worry about it, Sebastien. Lars has always been finicky." That was a straight up lie, but when Lars looked at Rodrigo he knew not to protest.

Sebastien shrugged and resumed eating his own food (and minding his own business, Lars thought).

Rodrigo smiled at Lars softly.

"Have you heard if your mom will make it to the wedding?" Rodrigo asked, cutting his beef with his fork and knife.

Lars raised his brows—he hadn't even thought about her. Bella cleared her throat.

"I've been talking to her about it and she will definitely try, if she can get the days off work," Bella explained, winking at Lars. "I sent her your engagement photos, by the way," she added, redirecting to Antonio and Lovino. "She thought you both looked very handsome."

Antonio smiled but Lovino furrowed his brows—"Who are we talking about?"

"Aunt Anna? Oh, you have never met her." Antonio wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Lars and Bella's Mom."

Lovino was perturbed by this. He scrutinized Antonio and Bella. "O…kay… I'm confused but okay."

"Anna is my mother, and their Mom," Sebastien offered, only making Lars grimace. Hearing Sebastien talk about his Mom wasn't even necessarily something that should bother Lars, but it did. He looked at Bella with a forced smile and eyes that told her to find a way to change the subject. The tone Sebastien just used made Lars so uncomfortable.

Lovino grimaced too, frowned, and covered his eyes. "Okay."

"So tell us about your girlfriend, Rodrigo," Bella diverted not-so-smoothly.

"Oh," Rodrigo said smartly. He shrugged. "She's great, really."

"Oh yeah? Where'd you meet?"

Rodrigo looked at Antonio, who had asked the question, with a smile and wide eyes. "Oh, you know. Around…"

"In Spain or Portugal? Didn't Mama ask that earlier? I can't remember what you had replied."

"Um, I met her in Portugal, but she's not Portuguese."

"Is she Spanish?"

Rodrigo looked down the table at where there was a small ruckus coming from some rowdy aunts and uncles. "No…"

Lars glanced at Mrs. Carriedo, seated just two seats down from this conversation, who was listening intently.

God, what he would give to be seated nearer Mr. Carriedo. Lars glanced down to the other end of the table at the frail older man. He was eating intently, not even paying any mind to the loud laughing and talking going on all around him—maybe he turned his hearing aids off.

Ivan lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. It was three in the morning but he really just couldn't sleep.

He literally got this close to doing it with Yao, just last night.

"Do you want me to suck you off?" Ivan bit his lip at the memory of Yao saying that so naturally. Little bits of the night before raced through his head, making his heart flutter and race all at once. Damn, he really was in over his head.

Ivan ran his hand through his hair. He wondered if it would be easier or harder to sleep if Yao was next to him. Those are dangerous thought, Ivan chided himself.

His phone buzzed and lit up his ceiling. Rolling over and grabbing his phone he saw that it was a text from Yao.

"I was waiting until you got home to ask, but can we meet somewhere tomorrow around 2?"

It was hard to adjust his eyes so quickly to the bright little screen. "Sure. Library?"

"Sounds good :)"

Ivan smiled and put his phone back—face down—on his night stand. He absolutely knew that he would probably let something embarrassing slip tomorrow; whether it was about that close-but-no-cigar sex they had or his little three-word secret, he only knew it was going to be bad. But he was happy to be seeing Yao again.

Hey guys. I have to say it's pretty crazy that I started writing this fic when I was entering Sophomore year in high school and these next few months are college application season…

Speaking of college apps, you can take that as, essentially, a guarantee that you'll be seeing more of me. Because I am a dirty dirty procrastinator ;)

Also I have a survey at polldaddy for my readers to fill out so that I can improve my writing according to what you all like and don't like in my stories! Please take a minute to fill it out! you can copy and paste this: s/randomfanatic-writing

Thank you so much ;;;;