Thanks for clicking! A few things before we start:

I try to stick to Japanese mannerisms when I can. That means Lastname Firstname, making Tom Ordinary into Ordinary Tom.

I also use a few honorifics. They are: -san. Universally added to a name, out of respect. Sort of like "Mr. Ordinary," but used more generally. -kun(Get used to this one). Used when addressing someone below you, or male children/teenagers.

Sorry for making you wait. It's right down there. Remember to review. Off you trot.

Naegi yawned as he opened the door to the laundry room. He had just spent the night studying, and his tired mind was still back in his room trying to figure out how in heaven or hell x + y could ever equal z.

While contemplating this, it had crossed his mind that he should probably pick up his clothes before he went to bed, unless he wanted to waltz over to the washing machines in his underwear.

That would probably wake up his classmates on their way to breakfast, though.

Chuckling slightly, Naegi made his way to the very last washer at the far end, almost out of habit. He preferred that one to the others, and he wasn't really sure why. It seemed his clothes came out... softer? It might just be him, really.

He grabbed a basket from on top of the washing machine, one of the many littered around the room, and placed it at his feet. Yawning, trying to figure out the inner workings of z, he opened the door to the washer and scooped the warm cloths by the armful, depositing them into the basket. Naegi then closed the door to the washer, and bent down to pick up the now full basket.

As Naegi did so, a strange sight met his eyes. While there were pants, shirts, and normal apparel in the basket, there were also other things; namely, panties and bras. Not being fully able to make a sensible connection, Naegi's brows furrowed and he frowned, sending his face into an expression of utter confusion.

Slowly reaching forward, he picked up a black pair of panties, and brought it up to his face, as if confirming they were real. Had anyone else seen the action, they would have thought that he was trying to sniff them.

Of course, he wasn't doing that. He was just tired. Exhausted. That was all.

After realizing they were, in fact, real, smell and all, Naegi only got more confused.

"Huh...?"

Not really a question directed at anyone in particular; it was just a sound of complete befuddlement. It did little to help him understand what was going on.

The last time Naegi checked, he hadn't owned any pieces of lady's underwear. He never had a reason for them. But then how else would they have gotten into his laundry? Maybe one of his fellow classmates had done this as a prank; Kuwata could be a suspect, maybe even Celes, trying to freak Naegi out. He knew that Fujisaki had some girly clothing, but he didn't have this kind of clothing, surely.

Try as he did, Naegi could not find a contradiction to refute, not that he had any ammo to shoot at it. He felt like he was constantly missing the point, and his weary mind couldn't figure out what that point was. Perhaps it had something to do with the enigmatic z.

Then, the door to the laundry room opened. Naegi tore his eyes away from the mysterious lady's underwear in front of him and looked at the entrance.

There stood Ikusaba Mukuro, the stoic mercenary, who could probably kill Naegi with all her limbs tied behind her back. She was wearing pyjamas that had the pattern of what seemed like a half albino teddy bear, and half a black demon. It seemed custom made - her twin sister had probably fashioned it for her.

It briefly crossed Naegi's mind that Ikusaba could, at times, appear cute, though that was usually only when her sister made her look the part. This pleasant train of thought soon ended, replaced by a much more terrifying one.

After a slight silence of the two teenagers standing there, Naegi finally made sense of the mystery. It all clicked. Naegi's body slumped, as if the weight of the world was dropped onto his shoulders.

"Ah," he said, all life draining from his voice, "that would make sense."

Naegi had finally reached a sensible conclusion: This was not his batch of clothes. This was Ikusaba's batch of clothes. The woman who had fought armies without so much of a scratch to show for it.

This meant that the panties he was currently waving in front of his face while trying to get his fatigued brain to function were also Ikusaba's. The lady who could probably kill him with her pinkie finger. Her bad hand's pinkie finger.

Did she even have a bad hand?

His mind was wide awake now, at any rate.

"Naegi-kun," Ikusaba said in her flat tone of voice, "What might you be doing with my underwear?"

Ikusaba's face was blank, but Naegi could swear that there was hellfire in her eyes. Seeing that fiery gaze made him aware of the fact that he was holding her underwear in his hands, which probably wouldn't help his case. He dropped them as fast as he could, as if it was made of fire.

She began to make her way to Naegi, talking all the while. "What have you made sense of, Naegi-kun?"

Beads of sweat began to form on Naegi's forehead.

"You better not lie, Naegi-kun. I've been taught many ways to punish a liar, Naegi-kun. "

She strode to Naegi slowly and calmly, her monotone voice remaining perfectly the same.

"Urk..." Naegi instinctively took a step back, as if his body still thought there was a way out of this. His mind knew that there was absolutely no escape.

The poor boy's heart felt like it was about to explode. It was beating at an unnatural speed, and Naegi could hear it in his ears, combining with Ikusaba' s methodical voice.

"Even unarmed, Naegi-kun, I can make you feel unbearable pain for the rest of the week. Pain that would make you wish you were dead, Naegi-kun."

While the words themselves were threatening, her tone of voice, the look on her face, were both absent of any emotions.

Strange; she was wearing such a cute outfit, but she was akin to the devil in Naegi's eyes. "Ne, Naegi-kun. Why have you not answered me yet?"

The soldier now stood right in front of Naegi, who was visibly shaking, his eyes wide. "Well? Naegi-kun." She had repeated the name several times, and each and every time she said it in her expressionless voice, it was like it was stabbing Naegi deep through his heart.

Naegi gulped, and tried to stay calm. After all, it was a simple mistake - He was guilty of nothing. Surely, Ikusaba, of all people, would see this.

But then again, would this cold-hearted woman believe him? Or would he be deemed guilty of him crimes? He had no evidence to prove he was anything but a perverted freak who liked looking at his classmate's panties.

Ikusaba Mukuro's panties. That effectively made this a do-or-die situation. Naegi chose to do than die.

"W-well, you see, Ikusaba-san, I made a little m-mistake, " Naegi hesitantly stuttered, trying his best not to bolt out of the room to escape Ikusaba's murderous aura and blank face.

Ikusaba deliberately titled her head, in a mock form of curiosity. "What mistake was this, Naegi-kun?"

"I wasn't paying attention," Naegi picked his words carefully, trying not to cause anything to send the lady in front of him over the edge. "I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't notice it was your u-underwear until after I put it in the basket."

"I see, Naegi-kun," she righted her head, making her appear more alert, "Is that so?"

Ikusaba remained completely vacant of emotions, either from her extremely deliberate head tilts.

Naegi nodded vigorously, desperately reaching for the small ray of hope. "Yes! It is so!"

Ikusaba glared at Naegi, but said nothing further. They stared at each other in a tense silence for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry," Naegi hurriedly added, realizing that was probably what Ikusaba was waiting for, "I'm truly, honestly sorry. It won't happen again. I promise."

Ikusaba blinked. It was not usually a big deal, but on her unreadable face, it was something. She nodded, ever so slightly, and picked up the basket of clothes at their feet.

On her way out, she said, "Your clothes are in the basket in the middle of the shelf. Good night." She paused just before she shut the door, her pale blue eyes barely seen through the sliver of the remaining gap.

"Naegi-kun."

The door closed gently behind her.