Tomodachi

Chapter 9

by

Nana

Dear Acquaintance

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Author's Notes: Here's the last chapter! I couldn't resist borrowing the last lines of Mary Webb's "Precious Bane". The last lines of this fic are lifted from that source. 

            I've also added in a bit of Greek mythology. I thought the tale of Orpheus would be a bit apt to describe one of the passages below (without it resulting to the disastrous consequences that the poor fellow had to endure^^). So, heads up! Major mush coming your way. Please do read on and review!

Dedication: This one goes to all the wonderful people at sangomiroku ML, who continue to inspire and enlighten through their enthusiastic discussions on all the possible angles that our favorite couple's relationship can take; and to all my reviewers, who never cease to move me in so many ways. Writing this fic would have been less fun without you guys. ^_______^

Disclaimer: Still don't own Miroku and Sango. Sigh…

The lines of Sango's song (that also appeared in chapter 4) are from Avril Lavigne's "The Things I'll Never Say", courtesy of Neko-chan!^^

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            The silence of the moonlit night was broken only by the steady beat of a ball on the cement floor of the basketball court. A lone figure stood on the free throw line, continuing to dribble the ball absently. His impeccable white shirt was unbuttoned at the collar and rolled up at the sleeves, his evening coat delegated to a low branch on one of the trees nearby.

He had never played ball so late before, and he was glad to find that they kept the lights going until midnight.

            He had not paused to think what could have possessed him to come this late. He just had to. One last time--before things changed forever.

Everything was going to change tomorrow.

She was going to change.

She was going to give up all her sharp-tongued sarcasm, discard all her scruffed jeans and shorts and start wearing dresses, apply make-up, keep her hair down, and hatch from her pupa to become a beautiful, generic butterfly.

And she was going to have a boyfriend.

She had looked so beautiful tonight in her satin gown and with her hair done up in an elaborate design that he couldn't stand it-- he couldn't stand the thought that she would never be his, and at the same time, he couldn't stand the thought of seeing a highly original, individual personality he had come to love change into something else in front of his eyes.

A belated realization, and yet he had only himself to blame.

More than anyone else, he had had the largest hand in contributing to the said individual's change--to her actually wanting to change. He had effectively done so by ignoring her repeatedly for six years.

How many times had he made her an unwilling, silent witness to his heart's definition of femininity? How many times had he shown her what he had wanted, what he had always looked for, in girls? His tastes had run along the usual criteria, and they never had room for anything remotely resembling the spunky, highly intelligent demeanor that was uniquely Sango's.

She was tough--a girl of her own convictions. But how long was it going to take before she finally gave into the social pressure of their age? An over-aged tomboy certainly had no place in a world where girls moved in smooth, mindless circles.

It must have been lonely, he realized, for Sango to grow up and watch as friends gradually moved on one by one, shedding the skin that had identified them as of the same kind even as she stubbornly held onto hers. Of the many friends she had had before, he was the only one remaining whom she had bothered to keep in touch with. Even then, hadn't he mindlessly pushed her aside so that she could only hover off-center at the perimeter of his senses?

And now, it was too late. She, too, was moving on. While his heart was breaking belatedly at the thought, he could not do anything but stand aside and watch as the process continued.

He had said everything there was to say, had done everything humanly possible. Any more would only hurt her, make her feel even more resentful of him than she already did. And more than anything, he did not want to hurt her.

Kami…but why? Why did things have to happen this way? He had been just a touch too late, but it was enough to change everything.

Friends change. They grow up. Sooner or later, they have to say goodbye.

Earlier on, he had said his farewell. He had to do it now, before it would be too painful for him to do anything about it. Right now, he could not tell for sure just how long he could stand the ebb and flow of grief as it coursed through him in waves, making his heart swell painfully at irregular intervals.

Of course, they would still be seeing each other in school, but things were going to be different. He was going to wake up tomorrow with the dull certainty that she was never going to show up for basketball practice ever again. They were never going to talk to each other the way they always did ever again. She was going to be somebody else's, and she would never know how much he was going to miss her.

Only, not yet. 

Don't let tomorrow come in too soon; don't let reality push in here right now.

Just for tonight, let him just come here--their sanctuary--one last time, shoot some hoops, and imagine that he could still hope to wait for her. Hope to wait for her to sneak up on him and say--

"What the hell do you think you're doing, coming here at this hour?"

He froze. The ball slipped from his suddenly numb fingers, falling to the ground and rolling to a stop a few meters from him, unnoticed.

That voice.

It couldn't be real. Had his mind started to play tricks on him so soon?

If he turned now, he was afraid he was only going to find shadows--six years' worth of them--awaiting him from behind.

But he did. Slowly, his heart beating painfully against the confines of his chest, he turned.

Orpheus had made that mistake when he had gone to save his beloved Euridice from the underworld. He had battled all odds to do what no human being had ever done before--to bring the dead back to life--and triumph was almost within his grasp. And then he had turned his head back at the last possible minute, before Euridice could safely get out of the portal, thereby banishing her back to death. Right now, though, Miroku could understand why Orpheus had to turn his head back.

Some guys just had to. It wasn't everyday that a miracle would happen, that things could somehow be saved from the jaws of the inevitable. Or was Orpheus simply afraid that everything just couldn't be real?

But Sango looked real.

She stood there under the full moon, still clad in her satin finery and shivering slightly as she kept the ridiculously light wrap around her shoulders close. She looked as though she were ready to let loose a storm.

He could tell that she had been running. A lock of hair had loosened itself from the elegant arrangement at the back of her head, settling down to pool on one shoulder. For a few seconds, her quick, light breathing was the only sound in the silence.

From the depths of his numb brain, a question made its way to his lips.

"What are you doing here?" he asked faintly. "The dance--"

"Baka! I asked you first!" she snapped, and Miroku knew that this was no dream.

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            In the end, she could not really say she had done it in a dignified way. Everything was beyond dignity, at this point.

            Without even thinking about it, she had run most of the way to his house, not heeding the pain shooting up from her feet as her new shoes protested against such rough treatment. It was only when she had rung the doorbell that it struck her that she didn't know what she was going to say.

            Luckily, it was Mrs. Terada who had answered the door, and she had given her a weird story.

            "He took his ball with him to the park," Mrs. Terada said, her voice betraying her own astonished disbelief.

            Sango had not hesitated. As she turned to go, Mrs. Terada called after her, "tell him to come back here right now, Sango!"

            And now, as she stood there, facing him, she found that words were again rapidly deserting her. As always, she took refuge in defensive wordplay.

            "Baka! I asked you first!"

            He continued to stand a few feet away, his expression thunderstruck. It was as though time had abruptly stopped. Certainly, he felt as though his heart had ceased to beat.

Not for Sango, though. Time had winded down for her when he said his goodbye at the balcony. Now, time was beginning to pulse and flow again--their time. From this point on, nothing was going to matter except for the time and space that they were going to make for themselves.

In the silence, she could hear her heart beating frantically, the rhythm strange and exciting as the blood sang in her ears. When she spoke next, her voice was soft, "Why did you leave?"

He shrugged. "Do I have any reason to stay?" he said simply. "I know that I've made you unhappy.  I know you said--"

"Shut up!" she cried. "What would you know about anything?"

She looked away, aware of the salty taste of tears at the back of her throat.

"You said you wanted me to be happy," she said, her voice wavering as she fought for control. "How can you say such a thing and then leave? How can I possibly be happy then?"

Miroku's eyes widened slowly, disbelievingly, as the meaning of the words sank in. Could it be that she meant…?

"Sango…"

The tears came then, and there was no way she could fight against their onslaught. "I mean…how can I be happy without…without…?!"

Her voice broke on a sob, and she was not allowed to continue. In the space of a second, he crossed the invisible chasm that stood between them. He was standing there before her, taking her into his arms.

"Sango…I'm so sorry," he whispered. "All these years, I never realized…all the wasted opportunities--all the things we could have--I was so stupid…!"

Sango gave a watery laugh. "Yeah, you were," she said against his chest.

And for the first time in a week, Miroku laughed--a boyish sound, full of joy. It rang in the quiet night air. He wanted to shout it out loud as his heart gave way to overwhelming relief.

There, just like that, she had reversed the inevitable as only she could.

Could there be anything sweeter than this? He wondered, dazed as relief continued to pound in his breast. He had let her go, and she had come back to him. She was finally, finally his!

Tenderly, he drew her even closer, feeling her heart beat against his own. He felt her arms go round him as she pressed her face to the damp fabric at his breast.

There had been a time when he had thought he wouldn't be able to stand this kind of intimacy with another. Invariably, when each of his girlfriends had come too close, he had felt trapped, strangled.

With Sango, it was different. Perhaps he had known all along that it would be different with her, because it was going to be all right.

"I was so afraid," she whispered. "I thought I had you figured out from the very start. All those girls…coming and going just like that, and I thought to myself how lucky I was I never had to go through that because we had a different thing going…"

"Only it never felt enough," he said softy, his warm breath tickling the few stray hairs near her ear. "It was never enough for me. All those times, with the others, I always felt something was missing. Maybe that was partly the reason why they never lasted. I was looking for somebody else, and for six long years, I never realized she was standing right here in front of me…"

He looked down at her, carefully running his thumb over her cheek to wipe away her tears. "When I finally did realize it, I just didn't know how I was going to break it to you without your laughing at me. I was afraid you might dismiss it as something really funny. Or worse, I just might freak you out and make you resent me for ruining a good friendship. I don't think I could have borne that, so I made up a lot of excuses around it."

He sighed. "And then Takeda had to come along as well…"

"I probably would have laughed," she said seriously.  "I just thought that you were…well, that you were never really interested. I thought it would never work out. I mean, you're so--so…and I'm…so--"

"What?" he asked, laughing at her sudden loss of eloquence.

She hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Oh, you know," she said. "I mean, you always go for the pretty ones, so what would you ever see in a girl like me?"

"Many things," he said. "And I'd want you to stay the way that you are now. The way you always were…"

Sango shook her head, bemused. "Even if I try, I cannot be anything more than I am. And so I got mad that you had to resort to excuses just to ask me out. Takeda-kun was there, so…"

"He's probably a nice person…" murmured Miroku as he slid a possessive hand up her back, sending shivers up her spine.

"He is."

"It wouldn't have mattered. I would probably have wanted to kill him either way."

"What?" laughed Sango.

"I felt like dying when I realized you were serious about going out with him," he said.

"I have to admit, it was a nice change," she said with a sigh. "I felt like dying the day Minami announced you were going out with her. I felt like dying every time you had another new girl."

"Something died that day," he said, remembering. "Something changed. When you didn't sign up for the girls' basketball team during freshman year, I thought…it was like you ran away, and you continued to run no matter how hard I tried to chase you down."

"You never tried hard enough," she chided.

His laugh turned rueful. "Didn't I just disprove that this past week?" He asked. "I practically made a fool of myself in front of everyone, and you know what? I couldn't possibly care less."

"There were so many things I knew I shouldn't be telling you. Six years is a long time to keep some things to oneself," she said. "But in one week's time, you nearly got them out from me."

"What?"

"The things I'll never say…"

He lifted a brow, intrigued. "Which are…?" He prompted.

She shook her head. "No way," she said as she burrowed her head into his shoulder. He could feel her smiling into his shirt.

"C'mon, Sango. That's not fair…what are they?"

With a few self-conscious starts, she began to sing.

A few stanzas of a song he had briefly heard before, the song taking on a slow and sweet tone on Sango's lips: "If I could say what I want to say…I'd say I wanna blow you...away. If I could say what I want to see…I want to see you go down on one knee--"

She broke off, laughing softly. "Nah. Forget it. It's too embarrassing!"
            He continued to look at her seriously. "And if I could do what I had wanted to do for a long time, what would you say?" he asked.

"What is that?"

And this time, there were no more false starts, no possible regrets. With one fluid motion, he lowered his head and claimed her mouth with his own.

Sango sighed, feeling her lids flutter blissfully shut. He had done this just the other day, but this time it was quite different. It was better.

She gave in to him as he sweetly, wordlessly comforted, coerced, demanded with his lips. In his arms, she felt as though she had come upon her rightful place at last.

            "Seriously now," she said as the kiss ended. "What are you doing here so late?"

            "I was trying to sort things out."

            "Oh?"

            "I was trying to get used to things changing, beginning tomorrow. I was trying to get over the fact that I wouldn't be seeing you anymore," he said.

            Had it really only been twenty minutes since he had felt the world was about to topple down on him? It seemed like an eternity had come and gone…

            "You're right. Things will change, starting tomorrow," she said as she smiled into his eyes.

            "Honto?"

            "There's really nothing we can do about it," she said. "The only difference is, your new girlfriend's going to be around for quite a while. By the way…"

"Hmm?" he murmured, breathing in the clean scent of her hair, the skin of her neck.

"How can we ever repay Kagome? I really doubt that we'll be here now if she ever gave up on us."

Miroku paused. "You're right," he said after a minute. He shrugged. "How about if we give her Inu Yasha?"

"I doubt if she needs any help in that department," said Sango dryly.

            Miroku laughed. "Good point. Maybe we'll just have to sit on that question some more then. Sango…"

"Hai?"

"Will I be hearing anything about the possibility of us wrecking our friendship just because we've become more than friends?" he asked quietly. 

Soft as it was, she could pick up a thin thread of fear in his question.

She laughed as she took his head into her hands. "Enough of that foolish talk. I've chosen my bit of paradise, and it's here with you, my dear acquaintance," she whispered.

With that, she lowered his head to hers again and kissed him full upon the mouth.

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