Derek felt Spencer's hand running under his shirt, every single one of his muscles tense up. He felt Spencer's lips against his neck, kissing and sucking at the skin. He felt him lifting his shirt off of his body, to get a better look at what he could call his. Here, we was happy, and could do as he pleased. Here there were no rules and regulations, no ridiculous fraternization codes to keep them apart. Unfortunately, here was only in his dreams. Once he woke up, he sat up in bed, attempting to catch his breath and running a hand over his scalp.

It had been just over three months since the two of them had been forced to separate, and every night – every single night – was spent dreaming about Spencer. After they 'broke up', for lack of a better word, Derek hadn't been able to sleep, eat, or do anything without thinking about him. Because of their past relationship, the two of them were rarely paired up on cases, and were never trusted to room together on a case, even if they had to double up: usually, Spencer would room with Rossi while he took a room with Hotch. At work, they had little to no interaction: on occasion, one would ask the other if there was any coffee in the break room.

Getting back to sleep after having one of these dreams was never easy, and more often than not, he'd lie awake and stare at the ceiling, trying to think about something, anything that didn't remind him of Spencer. However, he'd always be unsuccessful. After all, he'd planned to spend the rest of his life with Spencer, once they'd figured out a way around the anti-fraternization rules, and it wouldn't be easy to forget him. Every night when he'd wake up from these dreams, he'd be tempted to reach over and pick up his phone, dialing Spencer's number just to check on him. Just because they stopped being lovers, it didn't mean they had to stop being friends. However, since they had split, neither one had the courage to call up the other one to talk, for fear of heartbreak when they had to hang up without saying 'I love you'.

Like most nights when he couldn't get back to sleep, tonight he did pick up the phone, but he didn't call Spencer. Instead, he called the one person who had been an emotional sounding board for him throughout this entire ordeal, hoping this wouldn't be the time she'd be bothered by it.

"Cheerio, lovely."

He smiled to himself, leaning against his headboard. "Hey, beautiful. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Of course not, Derek. Usually when it's 1:00 a.m., I'm just hitting my stride."

"I'm sorry, princess. I can call back."

He could practically hear her headshake. "No need, talk to me."

He licked his lips, before running a hand over his face. "I did it again."

She sighed. "Sweetie, this isn't going to be easy. It's not just ripping a band-aid off your skin – it won't hurt a little bit then just go away. It was love – straight up, head-over-heels, sun-rises-and-sets-on-them love. It's going to sting, and it's going to suck, and I wish I had the magic words to take away the hurt for both of you, I do."

"Both of us?" He paused. "…You've talked to him?"

She frowned. "Yeah, my dove. You're not the only one in pain here, and he needs somebody too."

"Is he-"

"I just got off the phone with him," she finished. "He can barely sleep at night. The poor kid has only read five books in the last month."

He raised his eyebrows. "Month?"

"I told you, he was hurting."

He stayed silent for a minute before taking a deep breath. "Just talk to me."

"Sure thing, what about?"

He shook his head. "Absolutely anything, just please, give me a distraction."

She pursed her lips together, smacking them and thinking to herself. "I um… I tried a new dessert recipe tonight, if you want me to bring it in tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, sweetness. What did you make?" He crossed his arms, leaning back.

"Half brownie, half chocolate chip cookie dough, shaped like little muffins."

"That sounds especially fattening. What's the occasion?"

She laughed softly. "Two of my favorite people on this planet are hurting. Making comfort food makes me feel like I'm helping in some weird, twisted, fattening way."

"Well, I can't speak for him, but I appreciate it."

"I'm sure you do, my little taste tester."

He smirked. "I think you're just trying to make me pudgy so you can have me all to yourself."

She gasped. "You are so onto me, Derek Morgan."

They had been on the phone for over an hour when she stopped mid-sentence.

"What is it? Something wrong?"

She sighed. "It's him on the other line. I need to go, sweetie, he just, he needs me."

He exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "His nightmares are back, aren't they?"

She frowned. "Unfortunately, and if he doesn't talk about them, it only gets worse. I'm sorry, but-"

"Say no more. Talk to him. It helps if he talks about it, whatever happened in it. I mean, it's not usually best with someone who has nightmares, but it helps him. It also helps if you tell him to get himself a glass of water – drinking it usually calms him down. And maybe-"

"I'll take your advice, but Derek? I need you to stop talking before you upset yourself, okay? As much as it so totally blows, his nightmares are no longer your concern or something you need to take care of. He needs to learn to talk about it and let it out without having to go to the last resort of talking to you when he really shouldn't. It sucks, and it hurts, and it's going to keep sucking, but you can't get sucked back into this. It's been three months and you two have somehow stayed separated, and I commend you for that, but you need to stay separated if you want to keep this job. Now, I love you, and I wish you a good night, but he needs me."

He took a deep breath, sighing. "You're right. Good night, mama."

He heard the click of her phone and plugged his phone back in before curling up on the bed. He grabbed the pillow from the other side of the bed, inhaling deeply. Shortly after Spencer had left, he'd been able to pick up that pillow and smell him. It wasn't soap or shampoo or any form of cologne – it was just Spencer's scent, somewhat reminiscent of a library. As he smelled it, he noticed that the smell had finally died down: the last thing he really had to hold onto. Groaning, he threw the pillow at the wall, before attempting to get back to sleep, though at this time, he didn't really see the point.

I know your insides are feeling so hollow, and it's a hard pill for you to swallow, yeah. But if I fall for you, I'll never recover. If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.

Derek sat in his office, drinking his third cup of coffee that morning. In the past three months, he'd started a Spencer-like addiction to caffeine, to make up for the lack of sleep he was getting at night. Once he noticed his cup was empty, he sighed, throwing down his case file and grabbing his mug, walking out to the break room. Noticing the empty pot, he opened the cabinet, taking out the can of grounds and scooping them in. Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms and let his eyes slip shut, impatiently waiting for the new pot to brew.

He heard someone walk toward him and cleared his throat, standing up straight. "It's going to be a few minutes." He then looked and saw that it was Spencer, his mug in hand.

Spencer chewed on his cheek, avoiding eye contact and setting his mug down on the counter.

Derek sighed, knowing that standing there in silence wasn't going to do them any favors. "How are you?"

Spencer turned around, to be sure none of the agents were looking into the break area, before turning his attention back to him. "Fine," he said shortly, eyeing the coffeemaker, willing it to go faster.

Derek shook his head, lowering his voice. "I'm not buying that."

"Excuse me?"

"What's bothering you?" he said, practically a whisper, leaning closer to him.

The smaller man looked at him. "What answer do you want from me?" he snapped. "It's over, and you haven't called me once in the past ninety-eight days to see how I was feeling. I don't know why you suddenly care, and I don't feel a need to make conversation while waiting for a half-decent cup of coffee."

Derek paused, stepping away from him. "You think I didn't call because I don't care? For someone that's supposed to be a genius, that's not your brightest moment."

Spencer dug his nails into his palm, exhaling. "You know how bad it gets when I'm alone," he spat out in a whisper. "You know how hard it is, and how much I need a friend. We agreed that when this ended, it wouldn't affect our friendship. The only time you've called me in the past three months was on cases to get information from me. That's some friend, Derek."

Derek narrowed his eyes, practically a glare. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware the phone only worked one way."

Spencer put up his hands. "I'm not having this argument with you." He eyed the coffeemaker and saw that it still wasn't ready. "Forget it, I'll just pick up a coffee on my break." He threw his mug into the sink before turning around, walking back to his desk and sinking into his seat, picking up his case file and reading through it.

Garcia walked in a few minutes later, as Derek was refilling his mug and pouring in sugar.

"Somebody likes it sweet," she said, pouring her own cup.

He shrugged, stirring the sugar in and throwing the stirrer into the trash.

She paused. "This is a," she motioned toward Spencer, "thing isn't it?"

He gave her a quick nod. "…Do you have a few minutes?"

"For you?" she took his hand. "I have a few minutes, then a few more, and maybe even after that, a few more." She dragged him out of the bullpen and walked toward her lair.

JJ raised an eyebrow, looking over at Emily and pointing at them. "Do you have any idea what's going on with them?"

Emily shook her head. "Reid was the one to talk to him last. Any insight, Doc?"

Spencer didn't look up from his case file, but shrugged. "Anything that Derek Morgan does isn't any of my business. Who he involves himself with or spends time with is his decision."

JJ turned back to Emily. "What?"

"He's lost me too."

After walking into the lair, Garcia dragged over a chair for Derek to sit down, as well as setting down a coaster for his coffee mug. She sat down in her own, rolling it over and patting his knee.

"Out with it, champ."

"Champ?"

"I don't know, it seemed like a good pep-talk name, because you are so obviously in need of one right now."

"I don't think the world's greatest pep-talk could change how I feel."

"Challenge accepted," she told him, sipping her own coffee. "Step one, spill the beans. Number one? Why are you drinking his coffee? Nobody else on the planet drinks it that sweet."

He eyed the cup. "I've been drinking it since the day-" he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. "I just… when you wake up and taste something every morning, you can't just erase it from your memory. He'd have his cup of coffee while I'd be in the shower, I'd come out, and he'd kiss me, and I remember tasting sickeningly sweet coffee. It's ridiculous, I know, but that little thing is what's keeping me together right now."

"So rotting your teeth out is the answer?"

He shrugged, reaching over and taking a sip. "It's just what I need. Eventually, I'm sure I'll fade out of it, but until then? It's what I feel I need to get through my days."

She put up her hands defensively. "Okay, I'm not going to stomp on your coffee habits, to each their own. Now, do you want to tell me why the break room felt like the North Pole the second I walked in there?"

He cleared his throat. "I had a run-in."

"With?"

He sighed. "With Spencer."

She looked at him, confused. "And how would one define a run-in in this situation?"

He straightened in the seat, tapping his fingers on the desk. "I was making the coffee, he came in, I told him it'd be a few minutes. I asked how he was, he said fine, I wasn't buying that bullshit answer."

"Derek, you didn't-"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't. Not directly, anyway. I didn't tell him anything you told me, and I didn't bring it up either. You're not in any trouble here."

"…But you are?"

"I asked what was bothering him, and he snapped."

"What did he say?"

He exhaled. "Something to the effect of 'I didn't call once in the past ninety-eight days to check on him, I don't care, and he doesn't know why I suddenly give a damn'."

"He did not."

"Oh, trust me, he did."

"…Please tell me you didn't retaliate?" she asked hopefully.

He quickly shook his head. "I insulted his intelligence for assuming that I don't give a shit about him anymore, which I'll admit, it was a low blow, but I'm just as lonely as he is right now. He shouldn't be attacking me when he could've very easily picked up a phone himself to check on me or have a simple conversation."

"But?"

"But he immediately snapped back at me with me knowing how bad he gets when he's alone, and how hard it is for him to be that way, and that he needed a friend, which I wasn't being."

She leaned forward. "Have you talked to him in the past ninety-eight days, not work related?"

"No, but he hasn't either-"

She put up a hand to silence him. "I'm sorry, sweet cheeks, but I'm with him on this one." She saw him ready to interrupt and glared. "Let me finish. You're the alpha male, you won't admit anything's wrong, and I'm willing to bet you very rarely, if ever, showed any emotion in front of him, because you wanted to be the big strong man. He's always vulnerable and feels weak, and he needs a foundation to lean on, since he doesn't have any family he can call up and talk to. He has people on the team, but nobody understands what happened between you two except the three of us. Just because you lost him as a lover does not mean you needed to push him out as a friend too, Derek. He still needs you in his life."

He stayed silent for a minute, deep in thought. "I can't do that."

"Excuse me, what?"

He shook his head. "I can't go from being 'cuddle partner, love of his life Derek Morgan' to 'best friend Morgan'. That's not going to happen. I can't do that to myself, and more importantly, I can't do that to him."

"…You just prioritized him."

"What?"

"You didn't worry about your own emotions, Derek. You're more worried about him and how he's going to handle the situation." She sighed. "You still love him."

He avoided her eyes, but nodded. "I think I always will." He finally dared to look at her. "Now do you realize why I can't just call him up and say hi? All of those emotions would resurface, and we'd both just end up hurt in the end. It's hard and it sucks, but it's just easier for me to treat him as a colleague – nothing more, and nothing less."

"But you don't realize what that's doing to him." She reached over, rubbing his arm. "He doesn't need a colleague, Derek. Like I said, he needs a friend, and he needs you to be that friend."

"I can't be alone with him, Garcia. That would only cause problems."

"Then don't be," she answered quickly. "I can make plans, just the three of us. No alone time, and only some slightly awkward sexual tension, but that'll be radiating off of me and toward you."

He thought about it before running a hand over his face. "He's never going to go for it."

"Don't worry," she said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "He needs you back in his life, in some way, shape, or form, and he's going to get it."

Garcia had dismissed him to his office, and walked in while he was working on a case file.

"Yes, Baby Girl?" he asked, eyes still on his work.

"What are you doing tonight?"

He thought to himself. "Walking Clooney, going to the gym, and then it's dinner for one. Why?"

"Because those plans are going out the window, and you're going to meet me at my place for dinner and a few drinks."

"And is this just the two of us, or-"

She shook her head. "It's going to be you, me, and the genius makes three."

"With how much he hates me right now, you really made that happen?"

She shrugged. "What can I say? I'm no profiler, but I have one hell of a way with words."

"I'm sure you do." He leaned back in his chair. "What time should I be there?"

"It doesn't matter. Go home, walk your dog, freshen up, and meet at my place whenever."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely positive."

"And Garcia-"

"You two won't be left alone." She held up her hand. "Scout's honor."

After getting home, Derek took Clooney outside, and looked through his closet, trying to find something. He didn't know why he was putting so much work into it, considering it was just a dinner with Garcia, and it was just going to be Spencer, who was now just his co-worker. He finally decided to pull on a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans, then put on his shoes and grabbed his keys, walking out of the apartment.

Meanwhile, Spencer was at Garcia's apartment, setting down a bottle of wine.

"So it's just the two of us?" he asked, looking over at her.

She shook her head. "Not exactly."

"What does that mean? Is Kevin coming by?" He hung his bag up by the door, walking to the kitchen and trying to peek at what she was cooking.

She hit his hand with the spatula. "One, you're not finding out until dinner, and two, Kevin and I broke up several months ago, where have you been?"

"Nursing one of the world's most painful broken hearts? Thanks for rubbing it in."

She sighed, reaching over and rubbing his arm. "Sweetie, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

He sighed, shaking his head. "Forget it. Who's coming by?"

She avoided eye contact, putting a pot on the stove. "Just somebody from work," she put plainly, putting on an oven mitt and looking in the oven, closing the door.

"Somebody?" he paused, trying to think about who she'd invite. Judging by the fact she was avoiding eye contact and saying who it was, he groaned. "You did not invite Derek Morgan to your apartment tonight."

She winced. "Guilty."

He stayed silent for a minute before walking back to the door, picking up his bag.

She groaned, following him and standing in front of the door. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"Spencer Reid, I care about you, and I love you dearly. I'm doing this for your own good."

"My own good?"

She sighed. "Over the past three months you have been this constant mope-y zombie. I love being there for you and helping you through this, because it's a really tough time in your life, and it sucks, it super duper sucks, but I can't keep putting the pieces back together to watch you fall apart again. As much as you don't want to admit it? You want Derek Morgan back in your life."

"Yeah, and the way I want him in my life, I'm not getting back, and to be honest, he's not very high on my list of people I want to spend time with right now."

"Because of your little blowout today?"

"Derek told you?"

"Boy Wonder, I didn't need to be told anything. You are giving off the world's worst cold front around him. Trust me, I get it, he hasn't talked to you in these three months when communication would be crucial. No offense, my dove, but you haven't picked up the phone either." She saw him ready to interrupt and put up a finger. "You let me finish before you butt in and storm out of here. It's sucked for both of you, and he may be the big strong man, but that doesn't mean he's handling this any better than you are, and you blowing up at him wasn't the best thing you could've done. Admit it."

He looked at her, sighing. "I could've handled the situation a lot better. I threw a very childlike tantrum, and you're right, he didn't deserve it."

"Then do you think, for me and you, you can stay and talk to him, attempt to work out whatever issues you two have? I know it's not going to be like it was, but if I can sense the tension from my lair, there is no way in hell everyone else hasn't picked up that something happened."

He seemed to consider it before setting his bag down, sighing. "Fine, but please, don't leave the two of us alone in a room together."

"I already gave him my word that I wouldn't, and I intend to keep it."

Derek paced outside the door of Garcia's apartment, his thoughts getting the best of him. He wasn't sure how Spencer would take him being there, especially considering their interaction earlier in the day. Running a hand over his scalp, he took a deep breath, before knocking on the door.

"Just a minute!" Garcia called out, checking her timers. She then eyed Spencer. "Unless you want to get it?"

He gave her a look. "Really?"

"Sorry, I just – very rare blonde moment." She put up a hand. "I'll get the door, you try not to look so awkward and that I'm holding you captive."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'll try?"

"All I ask." She walked over to the door, checking the peephole and unlocking it, pulling it open. "It's about time you get here, chocolate thunder."

"I thought you said-"

She swatted at his arm. "Kidding, kidding, you're right on time." She grabbed his hand, pulling him in. "Dinner's going to be ready in five, just get yourself comfortable."

He looked in the living room and saw Spencer sitting in one of the chairs and opted to take the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. Garcia walked into the kitchen, pulling open the blinds between the rooms. "Drink, talk, be merry, just for the love of all that is holy, stop with the awkward silences. That's my number one rule tonight. No awkward."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that you invited me tonight, right?"

Derek couldn't hold back his laugh and smirked, shaking his head. "He's got a point, Baby Girl."

She rolled her eyes. "Enough from the peanut gallery. You two converse while I set the table and such."

"Garcia, what about our agreement?"

"Are you alone? No." She eyed Spencer. "Is there a door to my kitchen?"

"Not technically, no."

"Then technically I am still in the same room, and I'm not breaking my promises to either of you. Now stop talking to me and start talking to each other."

There was silence for a minute before Spencer spoke up. "I'm sorry."

Derek turned to face him. "What?"

He cleared his throat. "For my little, um, outburst in the break room." He avoided Derek's eyes, shifting in his seat. "It wasn't fair to you, and it definitely wasn't work appropriate, so I just wanted to apologize."

"Well, thank you, I guess. But I owe you an apology too." He got up, moving closer to Spencer and lowering his voice. "It wasn't fair of me to not talk to you after everything that happened. You were right, and I was being a pretty shitty friend. I'm sorry for only focusing on my own pain and not yours. I should've at least called once or checked in on how you were feeling. I'm really sorry, Spencer. Can you forgive me?"

He chanced a look up at Derek and saw his eyes: there were so many nights he'd fallen asleep after looking into those eyes, and woken up to them the next morning. They were filled with compassion, and he knew that Derek was being genuine. He sighed, nodding slightly. "On one condition."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

Spencer bit down on his lower lip before looking back at Derek. "I need you back in my life, Derek." He saw him ready to interrupt and shook his head. "Not like that but… I can't keep tiptoeing around each other at work, because pretty soon, everyone's going to catch on and realize that something happened here. I understand we can't have what we did, but… but I need your friendship again. I need you kidding around and I," he exhaled, lowering his voice, "I need to feel some happiness again."

Derek cautiously reached over, squeezing Spencer's hand. He felt Spencer jump and Derek pulled his hand away. I'm sorry."

Spencer shook his head, taking Derek's hand and squeezing it. "It's okay. There just need to be some, you know, ground rules for this friendship."

"This is about to get extremely over-complicated, isn't it?"

"Unfortunately."

Garcia walked in and saw Derek's hand on Spencer's knee. "I leave for ten minutes to check on dinner and you two are canoodling? Nuh uh, nope, Derek. Hand off now."

He raised an eyebrow, moving his hand. "We were just talking, Baby Girl."

"Oh I doubt tha-" she paused. "You were talking? As in not bitching at each other passive aggressively and being colder than the North Pole?"

Spencer nodded. "Talking, apologizing, and for lack of a better word, bonding."

She squealed, clapping her hands. "Then it's time to celebrate – dinner is served!"

While they were eating dinner, Derek kept looking up at Spencer, as if to be reassured he was still there. Not even on a case had the two of them had this kind of closeness: usually when the team ordered out, one would make an excuse to grab their food and head back to the hotel, or one would volunteer to pick up the food and eat on the way.

"So what were we talking about?" Garcia asked, poking around on her plate.

Spencer looked up at Derek then over at her. "We apologized to each other for our less-than-friendly behavior toward one another over the past few months-"
"Good, perfect, just what the doctor ordered…"

"And we came to an agreement," Derek finished, setting down his fork and wiping his mouth.

"What is this agreement, is it legal, and dear God, do I have to start covering up for you two again?"

Spencer shook his head. "It's just a mutual decision that we're going to be there for one another, not to the extent that we had before, but we're going to be friends again, because we can't deal with the, to use your terminology, awkward."

She scoffed. "You can't deal with the awkward? Hi, I've been dealing with a double dose of the awkward. I love you both, and I'm glad you found comfort in me instead of something bad like you know, alcohol, but it was so emotionally taxing on my poor soul."

Derek reached over, rubbing her arm. "Well don't worry, sweetness, because 'the awkward' is gone. Instead of coming to you, we're going to try being friends again and lean on each other."

She got up, picking up their plates. "Not to be the wet towel, but… how are you going to do that, but not have it escalate?"

Spencer gave her a slight shrug. "I guess we're just… not going to let it get that far."

"I wish both of you luck with that. You, Derek, because he is the perfect Whovian, and you, Boy Wonder, for quite obvious reasons," she said, pointing to Derek and walking to the kitchen, setting the plates in the sink.

Derek rolled his eyes. "Anything else planned for tonight, Baby Girl?"

"Yes, a glass of wine and a classic movie. Go sit while I clean up."

Spencer stood up, grabbing a few things off the table.

"No!" Garcia snapped. "I am the hostess, you are the guest. Go."

He put up his hands defensively before walking to the couch, sitting down and pulling his legs underneath himself.

During the movie, Garcia sat between the two of them, because she swore that there was some form of tension going on, and she wasn't going to have any of it. Once it was over, she stood up, picking up their wine glasses.

"So I'll see you two tomorrow?"

Derek nodded, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Tonight was great, Baby Girl. Thank you."

She saluted him. "Believe me, it was my pleasure."

He took his keys out of his pocket before patting Spencer on the arm. "See you tomorrow, kid."

Spencer gave him a smile, and Derek felt happiness for the first time in a while. "I'd better not have any more case files added to my desk."

"You won't… once I go in and fix the problem."

Spencer dramatically rolled his eyes and Derek laughed to himself, walking out.

He didn't know why, but part of Derek was telling him to stick around for a while. He paced outside the apartment complex, thinking to himself. He could be 'just friends' with Spencer: he was not the type of person to back down from a challenge, and this would be the biggest of them all. He saw Spencer walking out and cleared his throat, walking up to him.

"…Hello, Derek?" Spencer said, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and walking past him.

"Do you maybe need a ride back to your place?" he offered, following.

Spencer stopped in his tracks before turning around to face him, eyebrow raised. "You're offering me a ride home? Why?"

Derek cleared his throat, feeling a lump forming. "I know you're going to walk to the train station, and nobody with a fully able body should be making that trek in the dark, let alone you with your bad knee. Let me give you a ride, please?" He saw Spencer still thinking and sighed. "Consider it my apology for being a jackass the last few months."

He saw Spencer's face change and twist into a smile again. "I suppose if you owe me."

Derek laughed to himself, walking over and unlocking his car, getting in and starting it.

On the drive to Spencer's apartment, Derek looked over at him to see he was distracted.

"You okay over there?" he asked as he stopped at a red light.

Spencer gave him a quick nod before staring at the darkness outside of the window.

"Kid, I know you better than you know yourself, you can't keep secrets from me. What's up?"

Spencer sighed, fidgeting with his hands, before turning to look at Derek. "How are we going to erase more than three years of commitment to each other, throw it all out the window, and be friends, Derek? Like I said, I miss you and I need you back, but I don't know how we're going to handle only being able to go so far."

Derek cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as the light changed. He drove, thinking to himself. "Well, we do everything we used to do, just without, you know everything we used to do. I mean, we can still hang out, watch movies, get lunch – that sort of stuff. We just can't let it go past that."

"How many of your exes are you 'just friends' with? Because I personally have none."

Derek sighed, thinking back. "I'm one for challenges, Spencer Reid. Are you up for it?"

"Is that your way of saying 'none' as well?"

"That's my way of saying this is going to be a hell of a struggle for both of us, but I'm willing to try it, for the sake of my sanity and our team."

Spencer took a deep breath before nodding. "I think I can do it."

Derek pulled up to the apartment building, parking. "Good, because tomorrow? I say lunch, just the two of us, so we can talk without having a Garcia constantly trying to change the subject to avoid awkward tension."

He considered it and sighed. "Fine, but I'm choosing the place."

"Sounds like a plan. Good night, Pretty Boy."

Spencer smiled to himself, opening the door and putting the bag over his shoulder. Derek made sure he made it into the building before driving back to his place.

After getting back to his apartment, he took Clooney for a walk and turned in early. He'd be a liar if he'd said he would be able to handle this situation perfectly, but they'd been right: they couldn't tiptoe around each other anymore. He leaned back, putting an arm behind his head and sighing. Staring at his ceiling, he tried to figure out just how the two of them were going to do this.

Meanwhile, at his apartment, Spencer was trying to keep himself busy, not letting the idea of spending time alone with Derek tomorrow get to him. However, his mind was constantly nagging him about all the things that could go wrong. The split had been especially hard on Spencer: he didn't have family to turn to like Derek had, and he couldn't lean on anybody on the team, because that would mean telling them about the two of them in the first place. Sure, he had Garcia to help, but she was also helping Derek through the 'break-up'. All he had was writing to his mother in the letters, but that wasn't a very reliable source of comfort, considering he had to wait for a reply from her to even try to feel better.

He'd tried taking a few classes, just to get his mind off of everything that happened. Unfortunately, in typical Spencer Reid fashion, he finished everything in a few weeks and had nothing else to distract him. Every night for the last fifteen weeks, he dreamed of Derek. In his dreams, there were no rules, there was nothing to keep the two of them apart. They were free to do as they pleased and they were both happy. It made waking up every morning painful, and going into work even worse. The times he didn't dream about Derek, his nightmares had come back: sleeping in the same bed as Derek had been the cure, and considering their current situation, that, wasn't going to happen. Most of his nights were spent lying awake, staring into the darkness and missing what he'd had, wishing he hadn't gone out to dinner with Derek that night. He could say all the comforting words he wanted, but he knew it was his fault.

At work the next day, the two of them filled up on coffee, to make up for their lack of sleep and to get their minds off of that afternoon. Spencer kept himself busy with his case files, and after breezing through them, offered to take a few from Emily and JJ.

JJ raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair. "What's up, Spence?"

"Why would something be up?" he asked, flipping through a case file and scanning the content.

"I don't know, the last few months, you've been off. And now, this morning, you've gone through not only all of your remaining case files, but took several of mine and Emily's too?"

Emily looked at her. "You're complaining why? He's making our jobs easier."

"I'm just curious. He's been acting distant and I'm worried about him."

He threw down his case file. "For those concerned, I'm fine, really. It's just a rough patch in my life, I'll get over it."

"A rough patch?" JJ looked at him, concerned. "Spence, do you need to talk?"

He quickly shook his head. "It's… it's nothing, it's fine, really. Thank you, though." He went right back to his work, effectively ending the conversation.

Derek walked up to his desk a few hours later, knocking on it. "Hey, kid, did you get lunch yet?"

Spencer looked over at the clock before shaking his head. "I guess not."

"Come on, I'm springing you out of here for your own good."

"Right on time," Emily said, clicking her pen a few times. "He's starting to scare us with his kindness."

Spencer mock laughed, setting down his folder and putting his bag over his shoulder. "Let's go."

He followed Derek out of the bullpen and over to the elevator, thankful for the break. "There is far too much estrogen in that bullpen."

Derek smirked, laughing to himself. "You could always come to my office if you need a little peace and quiet. There's plenty of room."

"I may just have to take you up on that."

While they were at lunch, they were both relieved to find that they could engage in small talk without any awkward pauses, mainly because Spencer very rarely left opportunity for them. At one point, Derek stirred the straw around in his drink before looking at Spencer.

"So, kid," he started.

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

He exhaled. "How bad are the nightmares?"

Spencer blinked a few times before sighing, chewing on his lip. "It's… honestly? I fight to stay awake, just so I don't have to sleep, because it's always one of two things. I either fall asleep and the nightmares come back, worse than they were before… or I fall asleep and I dream about you." He avoided eye contact, looking down at the table and suddenly finding his placemat fascinating.

Derek reached over, grabbing a hand and squeezing it. "You're not alone."

"Right, what does Derek Morgan have to worry about?"

He shifted in his seat, lowering his voice. "Falling asleep and never wanting to wake up, because anytime I've closed my eyes, all I see is the one person who ever meant anything to me." He gave Spencer's hand one final squeeze before pulling his hand back, picking up his fork and poking what was left of his food.

Spencer's eyes seemed to light up. "…So I'm not alone?"

He shook his head. "Not by a longshot. And Spencer?"

"Hm?"

"…If they ever get that bad, you know you can call me? Stopping this," he started, pointing back and forth, "doesn't stop me from being there. You were right, I was a jackass, and I need to make it up to you."

"And what am I supposed to do?" Spencer asked, leaning back and crossing his arms. "I wasn't exactly friendly either."

Derek shrugged. "I'm sure we can figure something out."

Neither of them would admit it to the other, but that lunch had been exactly what they needed. Over the next week, they had gotten close: almost as close as they had been before the whole mess started. They were talking at work, they were interacting on the case they were sent on, and they even spent time together outside of work. One night was spent at the Smithsonian at an exhibit that Spencer just had to show Derek, and one night was spent at the gym, because Derek insisted that Spencer needed to learn how to throw a punch, considering his bad luck with unsubs. Everything seemed to be back to some sort of normal – for now.