Episode 21 and 22 sucked. This is how I cope.

Clutching the patch to his chest, Levi sat alone on the couch, staring at the cup of tea that was resting on the table. In front of the soldiers and his superiors, he kept a strong facade. He had to, because he was humanity's strongest. If anyone saw the strongest soldier with any sign of weakness, the whole morale of humanity would drop significantly. It was a heavy burden that was placed on his shoulders, but he was willing to bear it all for the sake of defeating the titans. But right now he was alone. He was allowed to express his motions in secrecy. There were dark circles under his eyes from stress and lack of sleep, and his eyes were glassy, holding back tears. Even alone Levi did not like to cry.

Looking down, he stared at the patch that once belonged to the soldier he loved the most. It was the only reminder he had of her, and he was very reluctant to let it go. His fingers ghosted over the ridges, and he wondered how many times Petra's own fingers touched the very insignia that represented humanity's hope. She was young; far too young to do any sort of fighting. But he could not deny her abilities; she was a great asset to the legion. Even so, part of him wished she could have stayed he with her father, living a bright life with no hardships or suffering. Maybe she wouldn't have died…he wishes for every second that everything is a dream and her cheery voice will fill the room once more, her smile brightening up even the darkest days. But reality was a bitch, slapping him in the face and stinging his eyes as tears silently rolled down his cheeks.

And of course the second he cries someone knocks on the door and walks inside. Levi looks up to see the green-eyed shifter, lingering near the door. Their eyes did not meet. Without a word Eren walked over to the couch and sat next to his superior, gazing down at his lap. They didn't speak for a few minutes, just needing the presence of one another. But the teen did not enjoy the silence for long.
"Levi heichou…" He began, still not yet lifting his head. "This pain in my chest…" His hand clutched at his shirt where his heart was. "I don't like it. No matter how hard I try, all I can see is their bodies, and I…" A small sound escaped the teen's voice which resembled a choked sob. Levi's eyes darted over to the soldier. He indeed was crying, his green eyes shining and tears streaming down his cheeks. The older male let out a small gasp and gritted his teeth. Fucking stupid brat. With a small grunt of annoyance, he roughly grabbed the front of the boy's shirt and violently jerked him against his chest. Eren let out a small cry of surprise but was silenced immediately when he felt how cold the other's body was…and how much he was shaking. He didn't dare look up to see the corporal's face. Surely he'd be scolded.

For the time being, Eren was grateful for his superior and let a shaky hand reach up and cling onto the other's cravat as he wept. Levi actually didn't mind that he was being intimate with the kid, or that his shirt would have to be washed later. Right now they were mourning their comrades, their friends…their family. For now, crying was okay.

As Levi closed his eyes, an image popped into his head. He saw Petra standing a ways in front of him. She was wearing a white dress, covered in lace and fabric flowers. A lace veil covered her eyes as she turned around to smile at him. Then the dress faded and now she was wearing something much simpler. But now, her belly was bulging and she looked down at it lovingly. Before he knew it, the belly was gone and replaced by two newborns nestled perfectly in her arms. Her smile never faded.

The newborns disappeared and he noticed how Petra looked as she aged. She was always beautiful. Toddlers ran around her in circles, playing gleefully. She seemed to be calling out to him but he couldn't hear her. Then he saw the children, both male, in Scouting Legion outfits. Petra was smiling, but there were tears on her face. Levi reached out wanting to wipe them from her cheeks. She sat upon a rocking chair, knitting something. He smiled. This time, he heard her voice; it was gentle and soft.

Levi…it's okay now.

You can stop worrying.

Have you been sleeping properly?

Don't be too hard on Eren…he's a good kid.

Make sure you are eating your meals.

Please stop being so hard on yourself.

We've already passed on.

You should too…

For our sakes, please move on…

We'll meet again I am sure.

So for now, Levi, please be patient.

We will meet again.

Three more words left her lips, but Levi barely heard them. His eyes shot open, realizing he was clinging onto the shivering teen. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he reluctantly let more tears slide down his cheeks. "Eren…" The boy's sobs had died down a little, but clearly he was not okay. Neither of them were okay. Their bodies ached with physical and emotional pain. It was something that would scar their hearts until the day they died. And for a split second Levi thought about his life ending right then and there and how he could meet his squad again…see Petra again. And he hated himself for thinking of such a thing. Petra wouldn't like the fact that he sacrificed himself just for the sake of an unrequited love.

As his grey eyes wandered over the shifter's body a whirl of emotions swirled in his mind. His squad had died valiantly, but Eren…he was still here. He could feel that strong and warm heart pounding relentlessly against his chest. His body was warm, signaling that there was life here. Levi hugged the teen tighter. "You're all I have left, Eren." He breathed against his ear, resting his weary head against Eren's shoulder. The young kid made a sound, but couldn't speak. He was too tired and too shocked. "You're the only…family…I have now." Eren's sobs grew louder as the corporal leaned back against the couch, bringing the teen with him.

Tanned hands wrapped tighter around his shorter frame as they laid there. Together the felt warmth, felt life, and felt all of the emotions that were hitting them like a ton of bricks. Their squad was gone, but they still remained. Surely they could wait just a little until they were rejoined with the ones they loved. They both smiled slightly.

Yeah…

They could wait a bit longer…