Dear stupid ass Diary.

Lately, on the rare occasion I get a good night's sleep, I've been having some pretty… intense dreams. More intense than usual, I mean, I'm not talking about those freaky spirit dreams that Adrian keeps dragging me into, even though the dreams I'm having seem just as real and lifelike as those do.

I guess it's not surprising that they're dreams about Dimitri, since he's on my mind pretty much every second of the damn day. I always end up waking up drenched in sweat and filled with a… well, a hunger for him that's stronger than anything I've ever felt before. It's like the way I felt that night in his room—the night we were under Victor's spell—as if my entire existence depends on being with him. Touching him… tasting him… you get the picture. After one of those dreams, it's pretty damned hard to go to our morning practice, to say the least. It takes every single bit of my meager control to stop myself from jumping on him, cause my head fills up with images of us pulling off our clothes and tumbling to the mats, completing what we started that night.

Since I can admit that self-control isn't exactly my strong point, it's honestly probably just a matter of time before I give in to the urge, even though I know it will piss him off and cause him to push me away again.

Jesus. Could my life be any more screwed up? Seriously.

—Rose