A/N: Hi there, people! Long time no see around here. I know, most of my followers are still waiting for an update on Partners, but since all the overload of LR: FFXIII news and that story turning into an AU of the story, I'm trying to get things right to set it up as a proper AU. That's hard because I'm a sucker for stories-as-closer-to-canon-as-possible, so... Well. I'm not gonna abandon Partners, don't you worry. It's just, I need time to prepare the story -again- properly.

Anyway. In the meantime, I'm bringing you this thing: what I intended to write as a One-Shot turned out as a monstrosity of fifty pages and as such people asked me to post it in parts. So, that's what I'm gonna do. The parts will be of different length based on the different parts of this 'One-Shot', but since I've got it already written in Spanish and all that's left is translating it, you'll have it complete soon. So check it regularly in order to catch it up!

In this story, I'm focusing once more in Hope and his time before he was teleported to the Ark and reverted to his teen-form. Since Square-Enix said, both Lightning and Hope lost their emotions after being chosen by Bhunivelze, I wanted to write something about his change and stuff. And then I came with this ungodly long thing.

So! That's all for now. Let's get started!

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII

Humanity

I. Hope

"People always say, 'the future will be better'. (...) And so we hope, waiting for a future brighter than today."

The Wildlands were probably the most dangerous place in the fragile world of Nova Chrysalia. A lush land both in vegetation and Chaos, and the dreadful monsters that came along the latter. All of this amidst a strange mixture of trees, grass, icy mountains and the ruins of what once was a great city.

However, it wasn't a completely desolate place. Small settlements spread across the green lands formed the human population in the area. They were men and women hardened by the Wildlands' extreme conditions. Not necessarily because of the harsh weather, but by the constant threat of being dinner for the monsters lurking in the wilderness, specially at night.

One of those villages was called Canopus Farms, famous for the excellent Gysahl Greens people harvested there, which fed them to the chocobos. It wasn't a very popular business among the people of the grand cities of Luxerion and Yusnaan, but among the inhabitants of the Wildlands, riding chocobos and taking care of them was a priority. Nobody in his right mind would dare to walk through this land on foot if he valued his life at least a bit.

No one, except for a tall figure wrapped in a black hooded cloak in that rainy night under the dark storm clouds, which arrived to the gates of the farm, devoid of people in the outside because of that furious storm.

He didn't seem affected by the pouring rain, neither by the strong wind that made flutter the edges of his cloak. He didn't mind that none of the villagers, properly sheltered at their homes made from ruins and debris, went out to greet him, and he continued his way after taking a moment to find his destination: one of the larger houses, built from the remains of an airship that crashed there long time ago.

The young hooded man couldn't help but give a bitter half-smile. He knew when and how exactly that airship ended up there. He was on it when it fell from the sky.

When he reached the little wooden porch in front of the house, he raised a gloved hand and knocked softly on the door. It was past midnight, in the middle of a storm and a completely unexpected visit; the last thing he wanted was to scare the person who lived there.

He didn't have to wait for too long before the door slowly, cautiously opened, revealing a middle-aged black man wearing a military green trench-coat; he had a short beard around his mouth and chin and an afro that looked like a bird's nest.

Although the young man hid perfectly his face with the hood, the older man recognized him just a second after nailing his eyes on him.

"Oh, boy", he said after a moment in which his mouth opened wide because of his disbelief. "What on Pulse were you thinking? How did you happen to think coming here in the middle of such a pouring, and after midnight?"

"I'm glad to see you too, Sazh", the young man smiled a bit mockingly. "Don't worry. I've come safely, right?"

"And by foot, of course", Sazh Katzroy noted reprovingly. "I've spent years telling you about getting your own chocobo to go from here to there, but you keep to your guns." He took a step backwards to let the young man enter his house. "Come in, now. And stay by the fire or you'll catch the cold of your life."

"As I've told you many times over these years, riding chocobos isn't my thing. It's different getting along with them and staying on one when they start to move", the young man argued crossing the threshold; Sazh closed the door behind him, and the sound of the storm turned into a relaxing rumor. "All the times I fell from them, they still hurt me."

"Because you always went to explore far away and chocobos don't take well going too far from where they usually hang out if they're wild ones. Nothing as terrible as you make it sound, not wanting to even hear about owning one."

"Even if I wanted, you know I couldn't take care well of it", the young man said, his voice slightly muffled because he was struggling with his soaked cloak to take it off. "My research keeps me busy enough to forget about eating more usually than I'd wish."

Sazh frowned.

"Your research has been getting you busy for more than three centuries, Hope. You still think you're gonna get some results?"

The cloak finally came out, revealing the tall, thin young man who wore a tight black coat under which could be seen a white shirt, gray pants and high black boots. The young man absently brushed his slightly wet silver bangs that covered his pale aqua-green eyes before bending over to pick up his cloak and hang it on the back of the nearest chair.

"I don't know if I'll get any results", Hope admitted after a brief silence, "but if don't keep trying, then I'll never know."

"Hmm", Sazh stared at him. "Centuries pass one after another and it looks like the only one who hasn't changed a bit is you, kid. Well, neither you nor Dajh", he added, bitterness staining his voice, his eyes straying to one of the beds in a corner in shadows.

Hope had visited Sazh enough times to know exactly what scene he would witness. A little boy lying on the bed with a peaceful expression in his round face, his eyes closed as if he were sleeping. But both he and Sazh knew he wasn't asleep.

The young man came closer to Dajh's bed, his face extremely serious. Over the centuries, in his occasional visits, Sazh had learned to see a bit beyond Hope's usual calm face whenever a problem was in sight. He knew that behind his cool, he was blaming himself.

However, the man was aware that only one person in the world would be able to fully understand young Hope Estheim.

After all, he learned all those traits from her…

"I wish I could do something to help him", Hope murmured, interrupting the course of Sazh's thoughts, "but his plight is beyond my powers."

"Of course it is, son. You're not gonna think you can give back him his lost soul just like that."

"Yeah, I know, but maybe… If I get more results in my research…", Hope shook his head. "Perhaps I could find out where Dajh's soul is… and bring it back."

"Hold your chocobos", Sazh interrupted sternly. "You keep it that way, you'll spend months without even sleep in search of your damn answers. You try to bite off out of your league, kid. You're just human."

In the very moment he said those words, Sazh realized too late he had put his finger on it. Hope knew very well how to control his own emotions, but sometimes his control slipped out of his reach. And that was one of those times in which his face made a scowl of anger, frustration and deep sadness.

"Human", the young scientist repeated, going back again to his serene expression, but those strong emotions still glistening in his eyes. "Yeah, that's all I am. Human."

Sazh knew too well why Hope had reacted that way. Not that he told him about it because Hope had always been rather reluctant to talk about his own problems since he knew him, when he was a fourteen-year-old kid. But Sazh was a mature man with a firm grip on reality, and some things were obvious enough to not need even to ask.

Still, it was kind of ironic. Hope had always defended the human condition as one of the greatest virtues they could wish for. At least, he did until Chaos flooded the world and brought the realm of the dead to the physical world.

Although Hope hadn't changed in many ways, there was a particular thing in which he radically differed from his former self. He always encouraged others not to forget their humanity in a world in which the life cycle of people was broken, praising the will and determination of mankind as a power greater than any magic. But whenever he was reminded of his own humanity, Hope's smile hesitated and pain and sadness surfaced to his eyes.

A cheerful squawk came from Sazh's afro, and seconds later, a small chocobo chick of yellow down fluttered from his hair and landed in front of Hope, chirping as if it wanted to encourage him.

"Hi there, Chocolina", the young man greeted with a weary smile, and stroked the chocobo chick's feathers. She chirped happily and plucked his fingers affectionately.

Sazh sighed.

"What is what you brought you here this time, kid? You never come here without a compelling reason, or rather, you never leave your home without it."

"In truth, I'm on my way", Hope explained while absentmindedly stroking Chocolina. "I'm going to a trip I'm afraid it'll be long, and before leaving I wanted to stop by the farm."

"Another one of your trips?", Sazh face-palmed. "Really, boy, only you would think about walking over Nova Chrysalia on foot in journeys that more than once have lasted for years."

"Actually, they last years because I'm on foot", Hope corrected him, amused. "But I prefer it that way. And they're not 'journeys', Sazh, they're part of my field research. I don't really fancy the idea of being away for so long, as you know."

Sazh frowned. Yes, he did; in fact, he knew that if it depended on Hope, he wouldn't move from the place he decided to call home. But the truth was, he always ended up going from here to there.

"It would've been wiser of you if you waited until dawn. Going out at night and through such a storm is downright suicide."

"I didn't want to further delay my leaving", Hope shrugged. "I've been planning my route for weeks. And, besides… if I don't leave when I'm willing to, I'm unable afterwards."

Sazh chuckled, although deep down he understood Hope. Despite the fact he didn't agree with him about having, in his opinion, such little attachment to his own life in his effort of trying to help others.

His failure as a leader left a wound deeper than the young man was willing to admit.

But he kept for himself that thought. Hope blamed himself enough to give him more loads than he already had.

"I'll get you some blankets", Sazh said getting up from the chair. "If you're gonna leave tomorrow, you'll need to sleep well tonight if you don't wanna end up as a corpse on the road."

Hope smiled gratefully. It wasn't the first time he stayed for one night in Sazh's house; the first one, Sazh had insisted him about sleeping on his bed, but Hope flatly refused. Since then, he had always slept on the comfy couch of his old friend whenever he came to Canopus Farms.

"Thanks, Sazh. I'm sorry to bother you."

"Don't be stupid. Since I cannot be a father to my son, at least I'm glad I can take care of a lad with a knack for getting into all kind of weird troubles time and again", Sazh growled from the other side of the room.

The young scientist couldn't suppress a soft chuckle. Lad? Technically, at twenty-seven years old –physically– he was the oldest of his former group, except for Sazh, of course. But Sazh had always been like a father to all of them. Coming from him, it didn't sound that strange.

However, some time later, in the darkness of night, while trying to sleep listening to the sound of the rain and wind outside laying on the couch, he couldn't help but wondering if his other friends would keep seeing him as a child, despite being the only one who really changed over the years.

His last thought before falling asleep was asking himself if she would still consider him a kid if she woke up one day.

Or, maybe… she would see him as just a human.

"Hope is such a beautifully painful emotion that can destroy humanity in the cruelest of ways."