Hi everyone! I have been inspired by reading all the wonderful stories here and this is my first attempt at fanfic. I am a huge fan of the books and the television series. I look forward to reading any reviews you take the time to provide as it will only improve my writing.

This fanfic is written in the first person from Vic's perspective and intertwines the books and the television series.

No one prepared me for this shit. All the push-ups on the grinder at the police academy, drill instructors screaming at me, discovering my will to survive in hand to hand combat simulations prepared me to be a good cop. I don't take any bullshit. Not from Sean, not from my Mom, and certainly not from some douche on the street but I feel so confused and weak when I am with him and I hate it.

Riding shotgun in the Bullet I am reduced to a 14-year-old teenage girl wondering if he likes me? I find myself craving the silence between us because it's an excuse for me not to say something stupid. I catch myself twisting my hair – just as I am doing now. I jam my hand back down into my lap and twist my wedding ring. The gold band glistens off the bright Wyoming sun scorching through the red clay dirt resting on the Bullet's windshield. I hold my head down trying to think of mundane shit so I can stop thinking about him. We roll to a stop sign and I speak up, "clear right". Walt drives through the intersection and glances at me. He holds his unshaven head still and his steely grey eyes peek over toward me. He holds his look on me. Just long enough for me to feel him. I feel my face flush and I yell inside my head to look out of the window. Ignore him. I close my eyes and think of Philadelphia. I think of shit that has nothing to do with him. I feel him. I hear myself sigh and Walt breaks the dead air, "You alright?"

"Yup, just a little tired." It's a lie and I don't care if he believes me. I look back and catch myself smiling at him but when I do Walt averts his gaze and looks out the driver's side window and the cab is silent once again. A lump in my throat emerges and I stop myself from crying.

No one prepared me for this shit.