Hanna

some thoughts are better kept secret from those who wish to use it against you, an friend once told me 'secrets keep us close' I have yet to see that as true because; secrets harm more than they help us and keep us in a fragile state of mind. I am one who enjoys the simple taste of fashion never letting anyone see just how smart I am because; I'd rather avoid the constant 'why don't you always show this side of you?' why don't you let anyone see the true you?' the simple truth is I haven't been the real me in a long time over the summer before the beginning of my high school career I got rid of the weight I used to have in doing so gaining what doctors call bulimia I've eaten healthy since then only the occasional junk food at sleep overs with three of my best-friends Aria Montgomery, Spencer Hastings, and Emily Fields.

At one point two years ago there had been five of us who had lived in the once peaceful suburban small town epicenter known as Rosewood Pennsylvania, here in this quaint town we basically ruled it always the center of attention at parties, school, or generally around the town. The fifth member of our clique I suppose you could say was Alison Dilaurentis she made more enemies than she did friends and when she did she blackmailed them or threatened them in some way or form, after she disappeared we all worried but not as much you see Alison always tortured us on our feelings toward one another that includes me and Aria she rarely targeted Emily and Spencer because; she knew Spencer would kick her ass she hated not being the center of someone's universe it unnerved her that our eyes were only trained on the people we liked were meant to be with or in our cases loved like no tomorrow. When we found out she was dead we were all devastated some more than others, yeah I remember.

We'd been in English class for a little over ten minutes me, Alison, Spencer, Aria, and Emily had been the first to arrive as well as the first to start on the assignment that we'd been given on the bored , the rest of the class had come in once the bell had rung as well as the teacher because; most faculty here hate having to teach in rosewood day high school and I couldn't blame them. I was minding my own business ignoring Alison as best I could but, the more I ignored her the more she persisted but louder than the last.

"hey hefty whats the answer to number 5?"

"hey hefty whats the answer to number 14?"

it hadn't taken me long to pack my books and grab my bag and head for the girls restroom as fast as my 6" heels would carry me once inside I closed the door and sat at the other end of the bathroom and actually cried for the first time since the summer, since then I have not cried but all day I have been hearing people call me 'hefty Hanna' and it's really starting to grate on my nerves I didn't hear the bathroom door open nor did I see who came in. the only thing I noticed was a small ebony haired brunette that I recognized as aria as I clung to her shirt and cried I shivered as her hand ran across my back while she held me it was comfortable here with her the silence was durable and I enjoyed , when she looked down at me with those hazel doe like eyes I knew what she wanted to know we were that close because; we'd known one another just that longer to figure each other out I sighed:

" I'm fine Ar" I said, as I looked at her.

She gave me this look like she knew I was lying which knowing aria and as long as we'd known each other she probably did know when I was lying but I didn't want her to worry, I had pulled my sleeves down past my wrist so she wouldn't see what I had started doing every time someone called me 'hefty Hanna' I tried to do this discreetly it was no use she saw what I was trying to do and stopped me as she looked at the scars along my wrist and arm as she traced each one with her fingers. I looked into her eyes and I saw the clear sign of disappointment in them so I moved away from her and mumbled a small 'sorry' and hugged my knees close to my chest I watched her as she crawled over to me and looked at her when she spoke.

"how long have you been doing that Hanna"she asked? Looking at me intently I sighed.

"for as long as people have been calling me 'hefty Hanna'" I answered, her as I pulled my legs tighter to my chest still looking at aria.

"why didn't you tell me Hanna" she asked?

"I thought you would hate me everyone does now a days or used to til now when I look around at some of the guys here not one of them would give me the time of day now when they look at me all I see is lust like I am some sort of prize to them or some cheap whore that they can have sex with and not give a damn" I said, I watched her take out her phone and compose a message.

To: Spencer, Emily

from: Aria

can you guys get the teacher to let you come to the bathroom? leave Ali s.o.s -Ar

I watched as she sent the message and let her pull me back toward the wall where she held me until her phone chimed twice.

To: Aria

From: Emily

I'll be there soon is Hanna okay?-E

To: Aria

From: Spencer

you know I'm coming just make sure Hanna's okay -S

while she was texting I went on the other side of the bathroom pulling my razor blade from my purse and was about to cut my wrist when I felt the blade wrenched from my hands, I looked above me to see Aria standing there looking worried the blade had been close enough to my wrist that when she swiped sideways to take it the blade had cut me anyways. I watched as my blood trickled to the floor and soon I was beginning to feel lightheaded just as the door opened I passed out from the loss of blood as Spencer and Emily entered the bathroom the last thing I heard was aria screaming and Emily calling the paramedics. When I woke up it wasn't in the school nurse I was in the hospital with no memory as to how I got here, I had tried to sit up but it didn't work too well because; I soon found myself dizzy and lay back on the pillow as I looked around the room I looked down to see Aria's head laying on the bed my hand in hers looking around I also, notice Spencer and Emily spooning on the sofa by the window on the other side of the room I felt weak and I didn't know why I whimpered because; my wrist and the scars started to hurt this action had woken Aria who called...

A/N: who did Aria call? And why is Hanna in the hospital? Has she done more than cut herself? Are these two best friends more than friends ? I won't tell only your reviews will give you answers you seek Read and Review! Thank you!