Trigger Warning: Self-harm and thoughts of suicide.

Bittersweet

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Sasuke had always been told that death couldn't be anything but bitter. Personally, he found that absurd and very easy to disagree with.

"He could develop a phobia," the doctors had said, standing over him and watching him but not really paying any attention. If they had been, they would have known he was awake. Sasuke didn't have a problem with this because he wasn't paying much attention either, picking up fragments of sentences being said, focusing on a thought he saw behind their heads through the blur. It wasn't a thought that he understood, and the next week he bought a dictionary.

Sasuke thought it was ridiculous the way people thought in the ninja world. Jumping to the worst conclusion was a staple of theirs, and it was far worse a crime to be useless than to be dead.

death (deTH) n.

Sasuke had crossed out the definition.

"I see you... dead."

pho·bi·a (ˈfōbēə) n. An extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.

"Of death or of life?" Sasuke asked himself years after leaving that hospital, overcome with an old but not unfamiliar envy for his brother.

death (deTH) n. vengeance.

Sasuke wondered if justice could leave blood on your hands.

"I live forever."

Sometimes he thought that if it were possible, he would choose to restore his clan and exact his revenge by forcing immortality upon Itachi Uchiha.

"Live your life."

Two out of Sasuke's three mentors in life had claimed to have something in common with him. The third mentor made him want to taste blood.

Sasuke had a chronic selective hearing problem.

It had been three weeks before relieved looks spread over the doctors' faces, knowing that they hadn't lost themselves a shinobi who could potentially be one of the greatest of the village.

Or rather, hadn't lost themselves the utility of such a shinobi.

The blade had felt so cold against his shoulders, and the juxtaposition of the warm blood running down his back reminded Sasuke of his life.

"What good fortune," the nurse wiped the sweat from her brow.

death (deTH) n. vengeance. the place your loved ones left you for.

Itachi Uchiha fell and Sasuke matched the smile on his face.

death (deTH) n. vengeance. the place your loved ones left you for. the place you're not allowed to be.

A/N: I was trying a different writing style out, this was the product. It's a little darker than most of my writing, I think. Feedback would be much appreciated!