Summary: Reverse New Moon. This is one of three Vamp-AU one-shots I wrote back in June for Livie79's birthday! The prompts, as well as other stories, can be found at livsbirthdaybonanza . tumblr . com.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended. Please do not repost this story elsewhere.

.

.

.

Prompt #4

"I will stay with you—isn't that enough?"

She smiled under my fingertips. "Enough for now."

.

.

During the weeks following prom, Bella slowly pulled away from me.

At first she was quiet. It killed me, not knowing what she was thinking. When school ended for the year, she wasted no time getting a job. I understood her desire for independence, even though I would much rather pay for whatever she needed so we could spend more time together.

A few times she addressed the subject of being changed. It was not an option I would entertain—making her a monster like me. Each time I put an end to the discussion, and each time I felt like I lost her a little more.

Bella started hanging out with her friends on her few days off, but she always left her window open for me at night. I climbed inside once Charlie was asleep and lay next to her on the bed.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"Fine." Bella sighed. "I'm sick of working. I wish I could enjoy the weather while it's still nice."

"You can. You know I'll give you whatever you need."

"Not everything." Her voice was laced with the same anger and pain that always arose with this topic.

"Anything else. You know that."

"Really?" Her eyes lit with an unspoken challenge. "Anything?"

Without warning, Bella rolled on top of me and pressed her lips to mine. They were so warm and soft. Venom flooded my mouth, as it always did when she was this close to me. Her tongue swept across my lower lip. I stifled a groan of both pleasure and pain. When her hand trailed down my stomach and her fingers slipped into the waistband of my pants, I knew it was time to stop.

"Bella, no," I said, gently pushing her away.

She huffed and flopped onto her back.

"I can't do this anymore, Edward," she said after a few moments of silence.

I froze, not moving, not blinking, not even breathing as I processed her words. Couldn't do what, exactly?

Bella continued as if she'd heard my unspoken question.

"You won't change me. You won't be intimate with me because it's too dangerous." She quoted the air with her fingers as she mocked the words I'd told her so many times.

"It is too dangerous."

"What kind of a relationship is this? I love you, but I don't want to be celibate my entire life. I don't want to grow old and die while you remain 17 forever. When you get mistaken for my son, or my grandson even!"

"I don't care what other people think."

"What about what I think?"

She had me there. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. If I didn't know better, I'd swear I was forming a headache.

"Maybe we can compromise," I offered. Her hopeful eyes met mine, filling me with optimism. "Sex is too dangerous, yes. I'm not sure if I could control myself with so much. stimulation." I took a deep breath and fought back the embarrassment that came with the territory of perpetual adolescence. "Perhaps. there are always ways. if I touched you."

"You're missing the point," she scoffed.

"Bella, I love you. More than anything. More than my entire existence. But I won't do anything to endanger your life more than I already am. I will stay by your side forever, until you take your last breath. But I won't take your soul and turn you into a monster. Please don't ask that of me."

I smelled the salt of her tears before I heard them stream down her cheeks. Cursing myself, I attempted to wipe them away. Bella batted at my hand and turned her face away from me.

"So I'm good enough to stay with forever, but not forever, forever."

"Love—"

"I think you should go."

A stabbing pain struck me in the chest where my heart once beat. Bella had never asked me to leave, never even pushed me away. I was off her bed and out the window before she could blink.

Bella's window was closed the next night. And the nights following. She was upset, understandably. I would give her all the time she needed. I had nothing but time. After a week had passed, I arrived at her house to find her window open. A weight lifted from my chest as I jumped inside.

Bella was awake, sitting on the bed with her knees drawn to her chest. Two suitcases were by the door. A set of clothing was folded neatly on the dresser, along with a toothbrush and hair comb.

"Bella?"

"Edward, we need to talk."

No good conversations ever began like that. What's the worst that can happen? I asked myself. I didn't want to know the answer. What's the worst I can live through? As long as Bella was alive, as long as her heart was still beating, I would survive. "Okay, let's talk."

"I'm leaving."

"Okay." I'd gathered as much. Once again I looked at the suitcases. "I'll come with you."

Bella shook her head. "I don't want you to come."

I didn't think my frozen heart could break, but it did. I felt it. I heard it.

"I'm moving back to Phoenix." She spoke as though my world hadn't just come to a crashing halt. "I can't stay here. Not with all the memories, all the reminders of what my life could have been. It's too hard."

Phoenix, where the sun was always out. Phoenix, where it would be impossible for me to live without lurking in the shadows like the monster I am. The message was clear: she was leaving and she didn't want me to follow her.

"Unless, of course, you've reconsidered?"

So this was what it came down to—change her or lose her. I always told myself that I wouldn't stop her if she wanted to live a normal life. If I couldn't give her what she wanted, the least I could do was respect her decision.

Not trusting my voice, I shook my head.

Bella crossed the room. Each step felt like an eternity until she was finally standing in front of me. Reaching up, she placed her hands on the back of my neck and pulled me down. She kissed me, but this kiss was different than any we'd shared before. It was sad. It was final.

It was goodbye.

Life without Bella wasn't worth living. More than once I'd started running south, just to see her face, hear her voice, see her in the thoughts of others. Every time I'd turned back before even crossing the Washington border.

She deserved better than me. She deserved a real human life, something my family and I were all cheated out of. I knew letting her leave was the right decision, but that didn't make it any easier.

I didn't need to read the thoughts of my family to know they were concerned about my well-being. It was written on their faces and vocalized to me on a daily basis. Someone was always assigned to watch me after Alice saw a vision of me in Italy, provoking the Volturi so they'd end my life. Yes, suicide had crossed my mind, but I wasn't going to do it. Not as long as Bella was still a part of this world. Even if she wasn't a part of mine.

It didn't take long for me to regret my decision. If I'd have given in, she'd be here with me now. Forever. I wouldn't be doomed to spend an eternity alone, with no one to love and no one to love me in return. The selfish thought disgusted me. Ending an innocent life, dooming her soul to an eternity of hell—or worse—just so I wouldn't be single. I was despicable.

With nothing else to occupy my time, I started eavesdropping on Charlie more and more often. His thoughts were scrambled and hard to decipher at times, but his loneliness was always an underlying theme. He missed Bella. Not as much as I did, of course. There was no human in the world who could love as intensely as a vampire.

I hoped his thoughts would focus more on Bella herself. Perhaps of a phone call or a letter. Something to let me know she was happy back home in Phoenix. I had no doubts that she'd move on from me one day. She probably already had. Human emotions were fickle like that.

On a dreary, overcast day in late August, I finally got my wish. I dropped by the Swan residence on Charlie's day off and caught the tail end of a telephone conversation with Bella's mother.

"I don't know what else to do, Charlie. She won't talk. She's not eating or sleeping. She rarely leaves her room."

"Isn't that a little drastic, though? Institutions are for crazy people. Bella's not . . . crazy. She's just being a teenager."

Despite Charlie's words of reason, his thoughts were chaotic and panicked. Visions of him hopping the next flight to Arizona flashed in his head. An image of Bella, sitting on her bedroom floor, skin and bones with greasy hair and dark circles under her eyes, assaulted me. Without further context, I couldn't tell if his mind created the scene of its own accord or if it stemmed from something Renee had told him.

"This isn't a phase, Charles! Something is wrong."

I didn't hear more of their conversation, because I was running, my feet carrying me in the direction of my one true love.

I ran throughout the night, arriving outside of Renee's house in the early stages of twilight. Breaking the handle off the back door as silently as possible, I slipped inside. Bella's scent assaulted me, stronger than I remembered, stronger than even the first time I was near her. Venom pooled in my mouth, craving, anticipating.

It was easy to find her room. By the slow, steady beat of her heart, I knew she was asleep. I didn't want to wake her, but when I opened the door and saw her still form lying on the bed, I couldn't resist going to her and pulling her into my arms.

"Bella."

Her eyes fluttered open, and a small smile graced her face. "Heaven," she murmured under her breath.

I was relieved to find she didn't look as bad as the vision in Charlie's head. Tired, yes. Thinner, definitely. But she was healthy. She still looked like my Bella.

"I'm so, so sorry, love. This is all my fault. Please forgive me."

"Shh, don't wake me up. I don't want to wake up." Her voice was thick from sleep and disuse. She snuggled against me. Warmth spread through my stone body, mending the fissures in my heart and making me feel alive for the first time in months.

"You're not dreaming." I cradled in her against me as tightly as I dared. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Bella's heartbeat increased as she awoke fully. Her eyes widened, and she sat up straight. Reluctantly I loosened my grip, letting my arms fall to my sides. Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe nothing had changed, and she didn't want me after all.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"You're really here!" Bella launched herself against me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and squeezed with a force I didn't know she was capable of.

"Is that okay?" I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. If she sent me away again, I didn't think I would survive.

"I miss you so much. I should never have left." To human ears, the words she mumbled into my neck would have been indecipherable. I heard them as clear as day, yet they seemed too good to be true.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

Bella pulled away. Her hands slid to my shoulders, but she didn't relinquish contact. "For what?"

"For not giving you the life you wanted." I frowned. Didn't she understand this was all my fault? We both suffered because of me. "I know it's too late for us. Just know that if I could do it all over again, I'd have changed you."

"It's too late?" Bella sounded almost . . . let down. She couldn't want me. Not now. Not after everything.

"Isn't it?"

Bella squeezed my shoulders and looked me square in the eyes. "I would rather spend my human life with you than not have you at all." There was not an ounce of uncertainty in her voice.

"Your human life isn't good enough." When her face fell, I quickly added, "I want you forever. Forever, forever."

"Now," she insisted.

"Forever."

I guided her body down to the bed and pressed my lips to her too hot neck. Without hesitation, my teeth pierced her skin.

The End