Part 4

The loud conversations fill the air with tangible excitement. Dauntless is ready to receive this years initiates. The arrival of fresh new blood is exiting, and we make sure to show it in the only way we know how; making as much noise as possible and give the poor sixteen years olds the opportunity to jump off the top of a roof. I remember the nerves trying to take over me and my body in the moment I had to jump, and how hard I fought to keep them out. Until today I still can't admit to myself how scared I was. I could only think about the darkness that awaited me in the emptiness, and what would happen to me if I actually survived. Deep down, I was afraid of the Dauntless. These people that always wear black, had have more ink in their bodies than actual skin, and live for the adrenaline. Now I understand them; what doesn't mean that my fear got away.

"Are you alright, Four?" Lauren asks me, laying her strong hand in my shoulder. I'm conscious that I'm a bit more distracted than I should, but I can't avoid it.

"Yes. I'm just exited." I lie in the best way I know how. If there's something this place taught me was how to tell a good lie. In a world like this, lies are something as natural as breathing, and we never know what the truth holds.

Lauren shrugs and walks away from me to join a group of chatting boys, only to get back to her place seconds after, when we start hearing the shrill whistle of the train in the background.

To everyone around me, that train is loaded with new souls that will devote themselves to a life full of adrenaline and risks; but for me, it brings hope with it. Hope off a future next to the only person that ever understood me, in a way that even I can't.

I hear the train slowing down, never really stopping to let the transfers out. After all, being Dauntless is taking every challenge with a smirk in our lips, no matter how insane or risky it might seem. It's looking at every challenge like a proof we give to ourselves, and if these kids choose us, it's because they have it in their blood. Or so we hope.

My heart races as fast as the initiates'. The anxiety runs in my veins and makes my breathing speed up. Max's usual speech plays in my head, waiting for the part where he tells them to jump down from a sever floor building, with no guarantee there's something down here to catch them. They say the bravest jump first, but I like to think they're the craziest. The one's who have something to prove, even if it's just to themselves.

I ask myself when Beatrice will jump. Negative thoughts where she'll never have to do such thing are immediately repelled by my subconscious.

The first initiate jumps. He's a robust boy from Candor, big enough to break a cement wall. If it wasn't for his white and black clothes, he could easily be mistaken by one of ours.

I help the boy like my duty requires, though he refuses my help. "What's your name?" I ask as soon as his feet touch the ground.

"Edward" He answers me, apparently without thinking. A lot of us change our names when we change factions. Some voluntarily, some not.

I announce the first jumper to the cheering crowd. The volume of the clapping and whistling became so high, that it's almost impossible to bear. It's in times like this that I miss Abnegation; I never liked crowds or noise. The soft Abnegation rhythm was printed in my skin since young age, contrasting with the fresh ink that paints my body nowadays. All this make it very hard to get used to the Dauntless and their racing lives. If I knew what I know today, I would have never let my blood touch the burning coal. I would have resisted to the sweet melody of freedom, that nothing brought me but confusion. I would have married Beatrice, and been happy. All that if I hadn't been a tough head, and rejected my fate as a broken toy.

The initiates keep jumping. They land with a sigh of relief, as they try to slow down their pulsing hearts and pretend that a sixty five feet fall is nothing. But I can see their panicked eyes; Maybe it's because mines already had the same expression. Now, they're fierce at day and vulnerable at night, when no one can see them.

But at each new initiate expression, they forget that the sun still shines on the other side of these dark walls, and show what they always hide. And I know that they won't change until I see her. The one person I miss most in the world. More than I'm proud to admit.

Too soon, Max falls into the net. And with him, my world.

Around me, various people ran their hand in my back as they carry on with their way, hoping that I follow them. But I can't. My eyes are still glued to the source of light that comes from above. In my mind, a blond figure will fall at any moment, blinding me momentarily. She will fall in the net, which soon will be replaced by my arms. I will hug her tight just to be sure she's real. And for the first time in two long years, I will smile. She'll be a turning point in my life. The second chance that fate will give me to be happy, since I was too stupid to take it at first. And, at last, I will say good bye to this emptiness I feel inside, and welcome the heat that I so desperately miss.

Minutes pass with the wind, without my notice. It is only when I see three crows flying in the blue sky, that I take my punishment. A life without Beatrice.

AN: Okay so... I know that I said that part 3 would be the final part but... "Ideas-In-Dreams" gave me the idea to this part and, I don't know how many weeks later... here it is! So this part i dedicated to her/him... thank you!
And thank you all!