Bliss

Warnings: Sex scene and a cursing.

Author's Notes: Yes, I'm continuing this story. With frequent updates.

In this chapter, I based the drunk experience into some occurrences I had. Being unsure/having no idea what is going/going with the flow… This story is close to me, and despite the not so emotional aspect of this chapter (it will get much much more emotional) I have a personal attachment to Kira and they he can't even comprehend his own thoughts or know how to express himself. He is representing a bad time of my life, that made me grew into the person I am today.

I hope you enjoy. This is clearly not beta-ed.

'Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is war, love is a growing up.'

James A. Baldwin

Chapter 2 - Kill me, feed me

The Espada's grin made Kira feel nauseated. He hoped the other wouldn't tell anyone about his behavior, earlier.

"Izuru, are you listening?" Otoribashi-Taichou asked.

"I apologize, Taichou," he slightly bowed. Otoribashi chuckled and turned to Grimmjow.

"He's a little nervous, but he's a capable man. I'm sure you two will get along."

"He looks weak," Grimmjow said looking down at Kira, his voice was filled with something that made Kira feel uneasy. The blond slightly frowned. He should take insult out of this, but he did feel weak. What would be the point of arguing with that? And he saw Kira in a weak state before...

"Oh no, no, no! Izuru is pretty strong. He doesn't like to fight, but when he does he's ruthless, isn't that right?" His Taichou asked him.

"I-I don't think I'm ruthless."

"Oh yes you are!" His Taichou put his arm around his shoulders. What an annoying habit. Kira hated it so much, he hated to be touched. "You are ruthless, and have this melodic aura surrounding you, it's so poetic it brings chills to my spine!" Not again... He absolutely couldn't stand Otoribashi's rambling.

Please stop.

"Anyway, I hope you don't mind guiding Grimmjow, and show him around, you know making him feel comfortable."

"Wait, Otoribashi-Taichou, I don't think-"

"And make the others feel more comfortable too. I believe that if they know Grimmjow is under your wing, they'll feel more secure." Kira looked around, and he could see the other members of his Division glaring at the former Espada. He couldn't abandon them now, could he? Even if they didn't care...

"Alright."

"Great! Now let's celebrate!"

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The celebration continued until dawn. It was another bad habit Otoribashi-Taichou had, organizing these Division parties and then leave sooner than everyone else, without no one noticing. But Kira did notice, because every time Taichou left he was the one in charge, and by default he was the one who had to take care of the smelly drunk members.

When Izuru couldn't stay awake any longer he decided to go home. He was so tired he ignored the little voice in his head bothering him that he was leaving when he shouldn't. But honestly? He didn't care anymore. His work was to be a Fukutaichou, not a babysitter, and the more he looked at those faces throwing up and unconscious, the more he hated being there.

The cold wind felt good when he stepped out of the hot, breathless room. The sun was starting to rise and he couldn't believe he was only going to rest for a couple of hours. He wished he could just sleep and never wake up again.

A noise behind him caught his attention; Grimmjow was looking bored leaning against the door frame. Oh yes, Kira was a babysitter after all.

And a sudden thought came to his mind. Where was this guy staying? Izuru didn't discuss with Otoribashi-Taichou where Grimmjow was going to sleep or by any means, live. It was late... or early, and Izuru wouldn't disturb his Taichou now, no matter how much he deserved...

Sighing he took the only – and easiest – decision he could.

"Follow me," he said to the former Espada, and started walking without waiting for any response.

Grimmjow did follow him in silence. For someone who should be a bad guy, he was quite obedient.

Izuru took him to his house.

"This is where I live. You'll stay here for now, until a place is arranged for you to stay."

He entered the house, Grimmjow followed him bored.

"You can sleep in the couch. Don't break anything," he left again without waiting for a reply. This was beyond absurd. Izuru leaving a deadly monster in his living room and letting his guard down. Maybe he was doing in purpose... maybe he was doing this so the former Espada would come out of nowhere and kill him. He wouldn't even defend himself... he would just die like a pathetic soul.

His clothes smelled like smoke and alcohol. He took them off, and threw them against the wall in rage. Shihakushou, underwear, everything.

Why was he the one having the Espada in his squad above all? Otoribashi was the most irresponsible being he ever met, and he was basically having a psychological breakdown! And Hisagi... Hisagi...

Suddenly the door opened behind him, making him turn around as fast as possible. The arrancar was looking at him, and Izuru only noticed by then that he was completely naked. The other man ignored it.

"Do you have milk?" Those were the first words the Espada said.

Kira slowly grabbed the shitagi on the floor next to Wabisuke and covered himself. Milk?

"No. I don't. You can't enter my room... E-ever! Please leave."

The Arrancar turned to leave, and murmured something.

"Excuse me?" Something inside Izuru snapped. He grabbed Wabisuke on the floor, and followed the other man to the living room. "What did you just said?"

Grimmjow stopped and turned around only to be attacked. The blond didn't know why he was attacking him, he was so tired and powerless.

The Arrancar grabbed his arms with only one arm, making Wabisuke fall on the floor along with the shitagi. He pushed Izuru against the wall, effortlessly, this man could kill him easily and both new it.

"This is why I hate shinigami, you are all so full of yourselves thinking you can beat me in a blink of an eye. I'll fucking kill you if you try that again!" He shout on his face.

"Do it then." Grimmjow blinked in surprise. The blond slowly spoke, "Kill me. You can tell it was in self-defense." Grimmjow let him go and he fell on the floor in his butt.

He glared trying to reason what was happening.

"Are you stupid?"

Izuru looked up when he heard those words, not sure what to say, he wasn't even sure of what he was saying at all.

"Great, they've put me with the most retarded guy here."

He messed up. Izuru messed up everything! Now he was going to be the laughing-stock in his squad. Ashamed, he grabbed the discarded Wabisuke and went to his room closing the door behind him, locking it. He ran to his drawer, and started searching frantically inside. Where was it? Where was it?! He found the small box, and took two white pills from inside and put them in his mouth swallowing them dry. It felt horrible but he sighted in relief... He slid on the floor feeling even more miserable than before. He wasn't himself anymore.

He hated his life, and he hated everything.

Grimmjow never told anyone about what happened that night.

0000000000

"The food will be served right after the ceremony. The guys from the 11th will be bored, so we won't take much time with the talking," Renji informed as he combed his hair straight, he wore a dark-grey suit. Hisagi wanted a Human-like wedding, so the couple would wear suits.

"I hope you invited more than just the 11th guys, I mean weddings are also suppose to help other people get some, you know?" Matsumoto said as she was handling him the coat. "Right, Kira?"

The blond looked at her direction, she knew how he was feeling, that's why she was trying to cheer him up. He slightly smiled, "It's not like you have a problem to get some, Matsumoto-san."

She pouted, "Yeah, but I want to have some with a gentleman, not a brute! And I'm feeling down, I should be the one getting married first."

"You can have anyone you want, Matsumoto-san, you just don't want to have the trouble," Renji stated.

"So now I'm lazy? Sorry Renji, for being a lady and having standards."

The redhead laughed. "Anyway, Kira could you go check if Hisagi is ready? I don't wanna be the one who's late, that's the bride's job. And hell I don't want to be labeled as the bride..."

Izuru forced a smile. "Sure." He left his two friend's behind, closing the door behind him.

He slowly walked away and felt his legs trembling. He needed to be strong. Just needed to survive the day.

Hisagi was waiting in front of the window. He was wearing a black suite with a white shirt and a black bow. His rebellious hair shining with the sun, it almost looked purple. He turned around the moment the blond arrived. He grinned. He was so handsome.

It broke Izuru's heart.

Izuru went closer and adjusted the bow in Hisagi's neck. It was a bold move, but he felt was like it was his last move allowed.

"How do you feel?"

Hisagi tilted his head. "Nervous?" He bit his lip. "This is so stupid, We've together for so long, we even live together, this just a ceremony, but I'm still nervous."

Izuru tried to smile back, but his face didn't obey his brain's command. He looked up, and stared the dark grey eyes.

"Hisagi-san..."

Should he say something? He was going to ruin everything if he did. His heart ached.

"Yes?"

'Don't do this'

'Don't marry him'

'I love you'

'I love you, don't do this'

'Please'

"You look ready." Izuru breathed. Hisagi smiled at those words.

"I am ready."

The ceremony was beautiful and empty. Izuru couldn't hear anything. His head was so numb it muffled all the sounds outside.

The reception wasn't that different, except there was always someone bothering him, this time was Matsumoto.

"See the positive side, now you can finally move on." She drank from her glass, "maybe this is a sign that you should look some place else."

"I don't want anyone," he replied drinking, how many cups did he drink already? His sight was blurry.

"Everyone wants someone, you know what you need? To have sex!" She said, and then looked behind him towards the couple's location. She frowned, he was about to look, but she didn't let him.

"It's better not." Izuru understood, they were probably kissing or having some sort of romantic display.

He filled his cup and continued drinking. It was a bad idea, but he couldn't stop. This was the only way to stop feeling it. But the more he drank, the more he felt… He left the party, and amazingly found his way to the third barracks. With clumsy steps he reached his house. The inside was hot; he took his shoes and his jacket. It was so warm, he needed to drink something, did he still have saké?

As he walked to the living room, he noticed the blue furry blanket on the floor, with Grimmjow sleeping shirtless. The former Espada was still there in his house. It's been weeks. He wasn't a bother, he just took the whole living room's space and filled the fridge with a lot of milk. They barely interacted with each other, unless it was squad related matters.

Izuru moved closer and his eyes wandered towards the body below. Muscles in the rights places, strong arms, killer abs. Grimmjow looked so good, Izuru could actually forget about the hollow hole. Traveling below, a small trail of blue hair leading to the waistband of those stupid pants.

Maybe Matsumoto was right, he needed to have sex.

Kneeling down in the blanket, his hand tried to reach the pants, but he was stopped by a stronger hand around his wrist. The hand could break him so easily. It was arousing. Blue eyes met, Grimmjow frowned.

"What are you doing?"

His blue hair was messy and his smell was…

"I asked what are-"

"I want to do something," the blond interrupted him. "Can I?" his voice was low and husky.

Grimmjow pondered for a moment and then let go of his hand. Izuru then moved it to his hips again and slowly slid it to his crotch and squeeze it.

The Arrancar had no idea what he was doing. Izuru moved closer and pulled the waist band down. Grimmjow's cock was soft, but didn't hide its' length. He wet his lips, before leaning down.

"Why are you..." Grimmjow didn't know what to ask. He probably was thinking if he should allow him to continue or just rip his throat.

"It's going to feel good," he breathed against the shaft. He licked it a few times, before pumping it with his hand. He kissed the head and swirled his tongue, it took just a few moments to get hard.

Izuru looked up and Grimmjow was still frowning, but breathing harder. He bobbed his head up and down, and started sucking. The more he did, the harder it got. It throbbed in his mouth. He was now aroused as well, he undid his pants with his free hand. The taste was unique and Izuru wanted more, he sucked with need, the thick cock was sublime. He wanted more.

Izuru stopped, and Grimmjow looked annoyed.

"What did you do to me?"

The blond didn't reply, but he knew the answer. He made Grimmjow needy. He was leaking pre-cum and panting heavily.

Izuru removed the rest of his own clothes, and straddled the other. Grimmjow was probably wondering if he should kill him. Fucking him or kill him, Izuru would be fine with any. Maybe both, in that order.

He pushed Grimmjow down and leaned pressing him lips, but he didn't kiss back, so Izuru didn't try again. There was a reaction though, when he ground his hips, both members grinding each other. The man below him was a bit flushed, his eyes hooded with need.

Izuru didn't think twice and moved the cock to his entrance. It was going to hurt, but he didn't care, he only needed it inside him. He started pressing down, and yes, it fucking hurt. Looking around he notice a bottle of an unknown substance nearby. He used it as lube, rubbing the cock. Grimmjow liked it, it almost sounded like he was purring. He starred at Izuru's hands around him.

Izuru prepared himself again, and although it still hurt, he pushed down. Grimmjow groaned when he was completely inside him.

Izuru gently started to move, slowly to get used to the size. He moaned, his legs trembling. Little by little, he moved faster riding that dick. He felt Grimmjow's hands moving along his legs, reaching his buttocks. In a sudden move, Grimmjow flipped them and was now on top.

He was brutal.

He thrusted hard, demanding. Grabbing Izuru's legs with his arms, he pushed himself in and out fast. Izuru couldn't control his voice, as it was so good. Grimmjow was so damn hot, and the blond couldn't help but touch his arms, chest, and hair. Everywhere he reach.

The Arrancar moved lower, holding himself with one arm. His other arm holding Izuru's leg. The movement change, also change the thrust angle. Ah wow, the blond couldn't stop shaking, as Grimmjow hit him exactly where it felt the best. His voice was loud, he though… he didn't know anymore.

It took a few more thrusts to make him cum, spilling between them. Grimmjow's rhythm became more frantic to the points there was no rhythm at all. He kept bumping until he came deep inside him as well.

Their breathing was harsh and it was the only sound in the room. Izuru looked at the ceiling above behind Grimmjow. For the first time in a while, he actually felt satisfied. His sleepy drunk self started to take over him, he closed his eyes.

...

Grimmjow was still inside him, he opened his eyes. The Espada sat on his needs and pulled Izuru's legs up. He thrusted again. For a second, Izuru regretted the whole thing. Grimmjow was merciless, he wanted more, he would get more, selfishly and uncaring. And Izuru hated himself, because despite knowing of all of those things, he was getting hard again and damn… Grimmjow was fucking him like there was no tomorrow.

He went with the flow.

0000000000

Izuru woke up, but could not open his eyes right away. His head was pounding, as if someone had grabbed a hammer and bashed it against him.

Taking his time, he opened his eyes and all he could see was blue. Blue fur beneath him, beneath his head. This wasn't his bed.

He tried to move, and he noticed his naked form. Trying to sit properly, he winced. His bottom hurt badly, as if… he gulped. Oh no, with who did he…? And that's when he turned his head around and looked at the clothe-less dormant figure next to him.

His mouth went dry and terror cross his face. Izuru slowly got up, and looked for the discarded clothes, but could only find his pants. He was a mess, his stomach was dirty with a lot of cum. He didn't dare think about the amount… Then dripping from inside him, through his tight… he went to the bathroom and he felt sick.

What the hell happened? Yesterday, he drank because they got married and then… he recognized some flashes. Blue, all blue on top of him, inside him. He knelt down near the toilet to throw up.

He fucked with an Espada, a hollow! How low did he fall? Life sucked, yes. He was alone, affirmative, but getting attention from someone like Grimmjow? What if he told the others? What if Hisagi found out? The brunet would think he was disgusting!

And it hit him… wait, and Grimmjow allowed it to happened? Izuru stayed in the bathroom for at least an hour, freaking out over the whole situation.

He was never going to drink again, that was a promise.

Outside laying in the blanket, Grimmjow glared the bathroom door. He reached for the discarded shirt and sniffed it, closing his eyes.

To be continued...