"Haruhi. Please, Haruhi."
She could hear someone sobbing, calling her name. What…? Her body was aching badly.
"Haruhi…. Please..." A whisper.
Wait, that sounded like Tamaki. Why did he sound so upset? She needed to see what was going on, what had happened to make him so distressed. She struggled to open her eyes, move her hands, anything to show her husband that she heard him. If she could just do that…
Haruhi awoke from her dream that was memory rather than imagination. She opened her eyes to the dark of her bedroom. Her body still ached from phantom pains from that accident. It happened nine months ago.
…
She had been birthday shopping with her son. He had wanted to pick out something special for his dad. Tamaki had said, pouted really, that he didn't want them to go. He'd had a rare day off from the office and wanted to spend it with his growing family, before she gave birth to their newest child. But Akiyoshi had begged so much that he wanted to go that Haruhi had given in. She told Tamaki that they wouldn't be long, after all, Akiyoshi was only four, and then they could meet up for lunch somewhere and go out like he wanted. They were only supposed to be gone for a few hours at most.
Then, the accident happened.
And now her heart ached as much as her body did when she woke up back then.
She had lost everything. Her son had died immediately. They had tried to save her unborn daughter, but she too was lost. Tamaki had been distraught.
At first, he was very considerate of her. When she first came home, he waited on her hand and foot. He brought her food, helped her bathe, helped her get dressed. Their friends came by to see them and he wouldn't leave her side.
But he wouldn't open up to her.
She had encouraged Tamaki to at least go speak with Kyouya, since he wouldn't with her. She thought he needed to get out what he was feeling. He wouldn't talk to her about it, but she knew he was just as hurt inside as she was. But he never left her. He wouldn't speak about the accident. She wanted to talk about it with him. She needed to. She missed her son so much and her daughter that she never got a chance to know.
But he would always change the subject.
…
Haruhi got out of bed. She was covered in sweat and tears she had let out in her sleep, and she wanted to take a shower. As she stood under the spray, she couldn't help but remember.
…
At first, she thought that Tamaki was just trying to make her feel better, like he did for his mother. For the same reason he started the Host Club back in high school. But as she got well enough to move around some, he was still trying to keep her from doing anything. At first, it was small things, like wanting to take a bath by herself or eating at the table, that he would try to restrict. She put up with it because that was just how Tamaki was; he wanted his wife to be happy, to be safe.
And he still wouldn't leave her side even when their friends came by. She needed to talk about what happened, even if it wasn't with Tamaki. But whenever she tried, Tamaki would change the subject. Fast. That wasn't the only odd thing. When someone would mention their children, Tamaki got a stony expression on his face. Haruhi couldn't understand why.
Still, she was in so much pain from the loss of her children that she didn't have enough left to try to force Tamaki to talk about it. There had been days when she could barely get out of bed, where she had wanted to just stay and cry, days when it was so painful just to be awake. Slowly, those days had become less and less, but everyday she still went into Akiyoshi's room and sat by his bed. She would apologize over and over to him for not being a better mother, for not telling him 'no' when he wanted to go out.
Then, as she was getting better and she wanted to take care of herself again, Tamaki had been more demanding that she not do anything. He had said things like 'I won't let you get hurt again' or 'I can't stand to see you suffering'. And, yes, it did hurt a little for her to walk around the house or the garden, but it wasn't something that would cause injury. She needed to exercise to be healthy again. Even her doctor had said so.
In desperation, she asked Kyouya to come over and talk some sense into Tamaki. Amazingly, Kyouya had talked Tamaki into leaving Haruhi's side. Haruhi hoped that meant that Tamaki was starting to heal. However, that discussion had left Tamaki yelling at Kyouya and Kyouya walking out, briefly saying that he wouldn't return until Tamaki apologized.
…
She had no idea what Tamaki had said to him that was so bad. To her knowledge, they still haven't spoken to each other.
She got out of the shower and got dressed for the day. It was five in the morning, but she'd have to get up anyway in an hour for work.
She didn't feel up to a heavy breakfast and just ate some fruit while she sat in front of the TV watching the local news.
Her mind drifted again back to Tamaki. No matter what she did, he was still on her mind.
…
She remembered when she realized their marriage was going downhill. She had been wanting to go back to work for a while. She couldn't take just sitting around the house all day anymore. It was too quiet. She was constantly reminded that she had lost her babies. And Tamaki, himself, was quiet, in the ways that mattered. Yes, he fussed over her, but it wasn't real conversation. He had even stopped talking to her about his work. He used to love telling her about that. Before, if anything remotely exciting had happened, he wouldn't have shut up for hours about it. But after the accident, he never said a word about the office, other than quickly saying he was leaving or coming back. And he still refused to talk about their children. Tamaki even refused to touch her in a romantic way at all. No hugs, no kisses. The two times she'd tried to initiate it, he gave her a look that made her doubt his love for her. It was cold and almost… disgusted. That had hurt her a lot. But she didn't mention it to him, she didn't want to start a fight, or really, find out that it actually was his true feelings for her.
The last straw had been a little over a week ago. She had finally had enough and told him that she was going back to work whether he liked it or not.
"I'm not staying cooped up in this mausoleum day in and day out anymore. I've called my boss and he assured me that I still could come back. And I'm going."
"No! You'll get hurt!"
"No, I won't, Tamaki. It's just my office, my work. I miss it. Can't you understand? You've got your work that you still go to everyday. I need mine!"
"Why won't you do what I tell you?! You've already killed my children, are you trying to kill yourself, too?"
Haruhi stood there, struck dumb by his accusation. He had never said that to her before. Was that what he really thought?
"You're staying here and that's final." And he turned around and left the room. She could hear him slam a door somewhere in the house. She didn't care if he went to his office or left the house.
'You've already killed my children…' It echoed in her head. Haruhi slumped down in the couch, staring at the floor. He really thought she had killed their children? She thought about his behavior. He wasn't the same Tamaki that she fell in love with. He was too controlling of her. He wasn't loving anymore. Or at least, he didn't show it to her. She supposed he still loved her somewhat; he didn't want her to die, too. But still, she couldn't live that way anymore.
The next day she called her friends for help. She was going to move out. She couldn't stay there any longer. Tamaki had locked her in their bedroom when he left that morning.
Soon after her plea for help, she heard her door being unlocked. It opened for her to see everyone on the other side with Hikaru holding some tools in his hand.
They had such looks of sympathy on their faces that it made her break down into tears. Quickly, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Honey enveloped her with their arms making shushing noises. But she couldn't. All the pain that she had locked up inside was finally coming out. She was crying not just for her babies but also for herself, and even Tamaki. In that accident, she had lost not only her babies but also her husband.
They helped her find an apartment. They helped her move out all her personal items. They helped her change all her contact information. All in one day. All before Tamaki got home.
They took turns seeing her every night so she wouldn't be alone. She had practically begged them to stay the first night in her new place. They did so, but Haruhi thought it might have been more from shock at hearing her asking. Since then, one of them would pick her up from work and would stay for several hours. Sometimes they would talk. Sometimes they would just sit in silence, watching TV.
Tonight was Kyouya's turn. She wasn't looking forward to it, though not because of him. It was Friday. She wasn't looking forward to the weekend. It was her first weekend on her own. She wouldn't have work to help distract her for most of the day. Although, Hikaru and Kaoru had invited her to spend the day with them, they would be in their office, prepping for some upcoming fashion event with their mother. She figured she'd be in the way if she went, so she politely declined. Besides, they'd be by at their usual times in the evening for both days.
…
It had been a horrible day at work. Nothing had gone right.
First, she had been late due to some construction work that had forced her to take an unfamiliar route, crammed in with others who were also detoured.
Next, she had been asked to take over a coworker's case because he was hospitalized from a sudden illness. The files were sparsely filled in and the client was calling her incompetent over the hassle of getting all the information.
Then, the copier had broken down after lunch, and she had been forced to travel down several floors to use another one, only to find that one had put lines down the middle of all her papers. So, she had to find another one and do it all over again.
Lastly, as she was leaving, she tripped and fell against a desk. Normally, she would have brushed it off, but she had managed to snag the hem of her pants on her shoes and rip it open. Now, she had to go home and see if she could repair it or else she'd need to buy a new pair of pants.
As she headed out, she heard a voice calling her name, catching her attention. Kyouya was standing in the lobby, obviously there to give her a ride home. She nearly cried in relief when she saw him. He took one look at the stress written all over her face and steered her to the closest wine shop, where he bought a couple of bottles. He then took her to a good takeout place and got enough to feed them several times over. Haruhi was just grateful that she hadn't needed to make any decisions.
When they arrived at her new home, he told her to go take a shower and he'd get everything set up for dinner. She felt so tired and upset that she just followed his instructions. She brought her clothes in and started the shower. She took off her pants and checked the hemline, and found that it had torn beyond repair.
For some reason, it made her start crying. She found she couldn't stop and her knees buckled under her. She sat on the bathroom floor with the shower running, sobbing, hugging herself in her blouse and underwear. She knew it wasn't that bad, but for some reason it felt like the end of the world. Suddenly, Tamaki's exclamation that she had killed her own children came to mind, making her feel worse.
He really thought so? Had she really done it? Did she really kill her children? She was truly confused and hurt. She couldn't stop bawling and rocking herself on the floor.
Kyouya knocked on the door. "Haruhi? Are you alright?"
She couldn't answer him. She couldn't stop crying.
"Haruhi! Answer me!"
He sounded upset. Was she forever going to hurt those she cared for?
She heard the door crack open. "Haruhi, I'm coming in."
It was several seconds more before she felt a towel wrapped around her and heard the shower shut off. She felt his arms wrap around her and she leaned into his comfort. "He– he said that I- I killed my babies. Maybe he's right. If I hadn't given in to Akiyoshi, they'd still be alive." She bawled into his shoulder.
"No, Haruhi, he's wrong. You didn't kill them. It was an accident. It wasn't anyone's fault. The other car's brakes failed. You know that. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't the other driver's fault. There was nothing wrong with you going out with your son."
"But… but…" She couldn't wrap her head around it. Her one decision had ruined her family.
"No, it's not your fault. It never was. You were a good mother." He said several other things along the same line as he held her and caressed her arm and back. Finally, she started calming down. She felt wrung out. She felt him tense a little as he asked her a quiet question. "Haruhi, would you be willing to see a therapist? It's been nine months since the accident, but it's obvious that you're still having issues. I think it would help."
She pulled back a little, wiping her face on the towel. She couldn't look him in the eye. "I don't see how. It's just talking about something that hurts just thinking about."
He continued to rub her back, still using that quiet, soft, calming voice. "A therapist would help to ease that hurt. I don't know everything that goes on in a session, but I do know they help talk you through what happened so you can come out whole. Sometimes, it's a group of people talking about similar situations and how they've coped."
She drew her eyes up to his, surprised at how much she liked the idea, of talking to people who've gone through the same thing. "That… actually doesn't sound too bad. I never got a chance to talk with Tamaki about it. He'd always change the subject. It's like he couldn't face it." She looked down at herself. Here she was, sitting on the bathroom floor without her pants on for who knows how long, crying on Kyouya's shoulder. She winced at herself. She didn't like being this way, especially in front of him. If she could get better… "Maybe I could give it a shot?"
He smiled at her. "Okay, then. If you want, I can find someone for you."
She shrugged and then actually realized just how undressed she was when she felt the towel shift across her thighs. She blushed and wrapped the towel tighter. She hadn't ever been so undressed in front of a man other than Tamaki. "Umm… can we talk about it later? I think I'm going to take my shower now."
Kyouya blinked, glanced down, and quickly looked away. He was blushing, too. "Ah, I'll leave you to it." He quickly stood and left.
Haruhi was surprised that he had lost composure so easily. He'd always been self-possessed, even, or maybe especially, when he gave her that lesson on gender so long ago. What happened this time? She knew, from overhearing Tamaki once, that he'd been with a woman, probably several, so she didn't have something he hadn't seen. And, from his point of view, she had actually been more covered than if she'd been in a swimsuit.
But she shook her head as she dried off. She decided to just put it behind her and act normal with him. The shower had helped some with her mental balance.
She returned to living room, looking for Kyouya. She found him on the couch with his laptop. He seemed to be going over his emails. She cleared her throat to get his attention. "I wanted to thank you," she confessed softly. "You've done a lot for me this evening."
He gestured for her to sit next to him. "No problem, Haruhi," he replied as she did so. "I saw you were having a bad day. And I couldn't leave you crying to yourself."
She gave him a small smile. "Well, I appreciate it. I thought about it and I actually would like it if you could fine a... therapist, you called it? I trust your judgment, better than mine."
He took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "Again, no problem. I'll do everything I can to help you."
Her smile grew a little more. "Thanks, Kyouya." She decided to change the subject. "Have you eaten?"
He released her hand. "No, I've been waiting for you. It seemed unconscionably rude for me to eat before you in your own home."
She chuckled a little. "Always mindful of your manners, eh, Kyouya?" She got up and made her way into the kitchen. "I wouldn't have minded. I'd rather you eat than starve yourself waiting for me," she called out from there. She got two plates out as he came to join her. She handed him one.
"I could wait. I'd rather eat with you anyway." He gave her a smile, a true smile not his trademark smirk, as they plated their food.
Over the years, they had gotten more familiar with each other, where they felt comfortable with each other and had a closeness that she lacked with her other friends. The others had drifted away slightly as they grew up. First, it was university; then, it was their families and careers. They still talked with each other frequently, but they didn't see each other as often. Kyouya was the only one who she saw regularly, and that was because of Tamaki. Tamaki had refused to let him drift away. So, Kyouya came by for dinner usually once a week and visited several times a week more.
At least, he had until the accident. Haruhi hadn't noticed until that moment that he stopped coming by quite so often. She decided to ask him about it. "Kyouya?"
"Hmm?" He raised an eyebrow as he took a bite.
"Why did you stop coming by so often since the accident?" she asked softly. She left him to answer as she enjoyed her meal.
It took a moment for him to reply. "Tamaki wasn't quite as welcoming of my presence as he used to be."
She frowned at that statement. "What does that mean?"
He gave a sigh. "Tamaki believed that the others and I were trying to interfere in your relationship with him."
Now she frowned even harder. "That's ridiculous. You guys were trying to help us out, to be there for us after... what happened. Even I understood that."
A ghost of Kyouya's normal smirk appeared. "Ah… so you understood, huh?" She stuck her tongue out at him, making him chuckle. "Yes, we were trying to be supportive."
…
They ended up on the couch after dinner. She was watching t.v. and he was back on his laptop. Slowly, she ended up curled in a ball at her end of the couch. She was getting a little tired, but she really didn't want to go to bed and be alone. So, she stayed up, trying to will Kyouya to keep her company. So far, it was working.
"Haruhi," he said suddenly, startling her. "You should go to bed if you're tired."
She shook her head. "I don't want to. I'd be alone." She saw Kyouya freeze for a moment, before looking at her with that glint shading his glasses. What had made him react like that? "I'd rather stay up for a while, if you don't mind staying up with me." She gestured to his laptop. "I mean, it's not like you'll go to bed any earlier anyway. You're always working."
He gave her a small smile. "If you wish, I'll stay a while longer."
She smiled back. "Thanks," she said and turned back to the t.v.
…
She felt herself being shifted. She felt something warm press against one side of her body and a slight swaying. She slowly opened her eyes to see Kyouya's face was quite close. It took her a moment to realize he was carrying her. "Kyouya?" she asked sleepily. "What are you doing?" She saw a small smile form and suddenly she was laid on her bed. "Wha…?"
He pulled the covers over her. "You fell asleep on the couch, and from the angle you were in, I thought I'd better move you or you'd be sore in the morning."
She blinked at him, trying to understand what he said. "Oh." It was the only thing she could think of. Then, she saw him move towards the door. She only knew that she didn't want to be alone. "Wait. Please don't leave."
He immediately stopped with his back to her and stiffened. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said quietly.
She didn't understand. "I just meant to ask if you'd mind sleeping over. I know the couch isn't the softest, but I'd hoped you wouldn't mind staying."
He didn't relax for a long moment. But finally his shoulders dropped a little. "I suppose I could." He turned and gave her a rueful smile. "Only you could make me do such a thing."
She smiled back at him and closed her eyes. She felt better knowing he was there. "Thanks, Kyouya. G'night," she slurred as sleep claimed her.
…
She woke up slightly uncomfortable. Her clothes had twisted and pinched during the night. It took her a moment to remember why she was still wearing them. And what she had said to Kyouya. She pulled a pillow over her face and groaned. She just knew how it must have sounded to Kyouya last night when she asked him to stay. She remembered his reaction and groaned again. She really hadn't meant for it to sound like an invitation to sleep with her. She just felt really comfortable around him and wanted keep that comfort.
She abruptly pulled the pillow off and sat up. She should get up and see if there was any damage control she needed to do between them.
She made her way into the living room and found Kyouya still asleep, sprawled as much as possible on the couch. She chuckled lightly at the sight. It wasn't often one got to see him mussed up. She was tempted to take a picture, but she was stopped by a growl from him.
"Step near that camera and it won't survive. I promise."
She chuckled again, at both the threat and his mindreading capabilities. "Alright. Since you're up, do you want some breakfast?" He didn't seem to be too bothered by last night. "It's the least I can do since I made you stay on such an uncomfortable bed."
He sat up and scrubbed at his face. He stared at her myopically before retrieving his glasses. "Yes, you do owe me. However, the couch isn't that uncomfortable. It made a decent bed." She smiled at the comment.
As she made breakfast for them, he found out that she had nothing to do that day and invited her to join him at his place since he had to return for a change of clothes. He offered the use of his indoor pool while he did a little work. She smiled at him for the offer and accepted. It got her out of the apartment instead of sitting alone with nothing to do. Since her father moved to another city, she only had her friends to visit. She knew the others would more than likely drop everything to entertain her, but she didn't want to create any hardships for them. If Kyouya had work to do, he wouldn't put it off to dote on her every minute and she appreciated that. She had had more than enough of that with Tamaki.
…
Slowly, she felt herself getting better, back to how she used to be before the accident. She had to admit to Kyouya that his idea worked. The combination of group therapy with one-on-one sessions had helped her immensely. The thought of her children no longer immediately brought tears to her eyes. Even thinking of Tamaki and his actions no longer hurt as badly. She knew he had gone through more trauma in his life than most people, and it was bound to affect him at some point.
That didn't mean she was going to subject herself to it again, though.
It had been a couple of months since she moved out, and she was thinking about a divorce. She didn't want to go back to how things were when she had left. When she left, she let him know that she wasn't going back any time soon and to let her have her space. She needed to try to figure things out for herself and she couldn't live as he had tried to force her.
He had proven that he hadn't changed by stalking her a bit. He found her new phone number and left many messages, all stating that she needed to come back to him before something bad happened to her, that she needed to do what he said. She knew he didn't mean for it to sound threatening, that in his mind, he was just worried about her, but it could be taken that way. However, no matter what, he was being way too possessive and controlling.
She showed the messages to Kyouya and her therapist, and they both agreed that it wouldn't be the best situation if she went back. It wasn't a healthy environment. She hadn't responded to those messages, partly because she didn't know what to say to him and partly because she didn't want to hear any more abuse. What he had said about her killing her children really hurt. There was nothing that would have made her hurt her children. She loved them with all her heart.
That didn't mean that she didn't miss Tamaki. However, she missed the old Tamaki, the one who was sweet and bent over backwards for everyone to have fun. She missed the one who loved to make people smile and help them out. He wasn't that person anymore.
Even Kyouya agreed. She didn't know the others' opinions because they avoided speaking of him around her; however, Kyouya didn't. He told her that he tried to visit Tamaki a few times, breaking his vow not to see the man, but Tamaki would never see him. He even tried seeing him at work, but the only thing he would tell Haruhi about that was that it had been a tremendous mistake. After that, he stopped altogether.
Kyouya had become quite attentive, in his own way. While her friends had been called away for different reasons, he had always stayed with her. He would even take up the days the others had dropped. Soon, it had become that she would see him most days of the week. On her most stressful days, he would comfort her and get her to relax. On her good days, he would work for a while and then they would stay up late laughing or engaged in a current events discussion. She was seeing a new side to Kyouya and she liked it.
…
A few weeks later, Haruhi lingered with Kyouya at his dinner table, sipping the wine he got out from his collection, and talking about the day's events.
After a slight pause at the end of one subject, she said abruptly, "I'm going to talk to Tamaki on Sunday." She stared into her wine glass.
"Oh? What about?" He sounded cautious.
She took another sip of wine before she answered. "I decided that I want a divorce. Tamaki hasn't changed, or rather, he hasn't changed back, and I can't live with him the way he is. After everything that's happened between us, even if he did change for the better, I don't think I could go back to him. There's just too much between us now. I've discussed this with my therapist and he advised me to speak with Tamaki before I make any final decisions." She shrugged. "I doubt there's anything Tamaki can say to make me change my mind, but I'll do the right thing and speak with him first."
Kyouya made his own pause in the form of sipping his wine. "Does he know you've been thinking about this?"
She sighed. "This is Tamaki we're talking about. He hasn't lived in reality for a long time. I've told him a while ago that I couldn't live with the way he was treating me, but he didn't change. He tried to become even worse, honestly. You've seen the messages." Kyouya nodded. "I decided enough is enough. Therapy has helped me get better and I won't go back to how things used to be."
He reached across the table and took her hand. "I'm glad. It would kill me to see you back into that kind of environment."
She smiled back at him. As she took another sip, she shivered a little when she felt his thumb caress the back of her hand. What did that caress mean? After only another moment, he released her and took his own sip of wine.
…
The meeting with Tamaki had been a disaster.
When he first saw her, he immediately assumed that she was coming back to him. He started making demands about how she was going to live her life from now on. That only firmed up her decision.
She shook her head. "No, Tamaki. That's not going to happen. You've changed and I can't live with you anymore."
He sat back in his chair, looking as if someone had cut his strings, or punched him. "What?" he whispered. And then he shouted at her. "You can't! I won't let you! You're still my wife and it's my job to protect you!"
She sighed and shook her head again. "But you're not protecting me. You're trying to smother me. You know I can't live like that. Why are you trying to make me?"
Then his face turned red and he blew up. "You know why! You killed my children and you're trying to kill yourself, too! I won't let you do that!"
She was thankful she had brought a tape recorder. What he just said would get her a quick divorce. And if need be, a restraining order. She hoped it wouldn't come to the second part. "No, Tamaki, I didn't kill them. No one did. It was a simple, awful accident."
Tamaki interrupted her. "If you had been a decent mother and hadn't caved in to Akiyoshi, then both our children would be alive. You know that." He suddenly narrowed his eyes at her. "Or did you plan it? Did you plan to kill our children? Is this why you want a divorce? If you don't get one, are you going to kill me, too?"
She was flabbergasted. "How could you think such a thing? I loved my children! And I used to love you! But you've turned into a bitter, irrational man. I don't know you anymore, and I don't like what I see. I can't live with you anymore, not like this. In the morning, I'm going to file for divorce." She rose from her seat. "You need to get help, Tamaki." With that, she left, turning a deaf ear to Tamaki's raving.
When she got in her car, she found she couldn't move. The accusations Tamaki had made… She couldn't believe what he'd said.
She didn't want to go home, to an empty apartment where Tamaki's words would just rattle around inside her head. She needed to see someone. She pulled out her phone and looked at her contacts. She really wanted to see Kyouya but thought that she might be imposing on him, after all she saw him nearly every day as it was. However, Hikaru and Kaoru had left for France last week, Mori had an obligation with his brother, and Honey was spending time with his wife and kids. The only one she could call was the one she felt she would bother the most. But the thought of going home to that empty apartment had her pressing the call button.
She nearly cried in relief when he told her to come over immediately. She did cry when she saw him standing at the door. She threw herself into his arms. He ushered her to his couch and they sat there, holding each other, her sobbing into him and him caressing her back and comforting her.
…
Tamaki fought the divorce tooth and nail, dragging it out for five months. It eventually ended up in front of judge for him to decide. The tape-recorded conversation as well as the messages on her phone aided her in a quick settlement. The judge ended up awarding her more than she wanted of the Suou estate, which she couldn't give back. He also advised Tamaki to get therapy. He warned Tamaki not to act out against his ex-wife, especially as there was a precedence of ill will. Tamaki snarled to his lawyer on the way out.
Haruhi walked a ways behind him, trying to get out also, and saw he noticed Kyouya's car waiting for her at the front of the courthouse. She stiffened, hoping he wouldn't make a scene. Kyouya had wanted to take her out to eat with the others after her divorce was finalized. He sent his chauffer to pick her up so she wouldn't be near Tamaki for very long. She notified the chauffer so he could pick her up as she got out, and apparently, Tamaki recognized him in the driver's seat. She quickly walked past him and got in the car.
"Drive," she said quickly. "I don't want him making a scene." He did so with haste. As they got into traffic, she let out a sigh of relief. She gave a heartfelt "thank you" to the man. When they arrived at Kyouya's house, she gave him a quick hug and said, "Thank you again. That could have turned ugly real quick."
"Why are you hugging my chauffer?"
She looked over her shoulder at an obviously indignant Kyouya. She giggled at him. "He's my savior." She walked over and gave him a hug too. "And so are you for sending him."
Kyouya's return hug warmed her very well. "What happened?" he asked quietly.
"Tamaki recognized your chauffer and we had to make a quick getaway."
He raised an eyebrow. "That's all?"
She smiled at him. "That's all that happened between Tamaki and me; however, he wasn't at all happy when he left the court room. He was ranting at his lawyer about how the judge was obviously biased because I'm a member of the legal system and how Tsubaki-san, as his lawyer, should have protected his property better." She shook her head as she remembered the look on the lawyer's face. "I don't think Tamaki's going to keep him for very long. He looked disgusted with Tamaki's attitude."
He hugged her again and whispered in her ear, "So long as you're okay."
She gave him a squeeze in acknowledgment and whispered, "Thank you." They stayed holding each other for several minutes. It felt so good to be held by him.
She was starting to wonder what exactly her feelings for the man were. He had been there, supporting her, ever since she made a stand against Tamaki. He held her when she needed to cry. He engaged her in intelligent conversation. He made her laugh with his wit. He made her warm by just being there.
Was she falling in love with Kyouya Ootori?
…
Later that night, she was gallantly presented to the rest of their friends. She giggled at Kyouya's playfulness while wondering what was up with him. He ushered her to her seat on his arm.
Honey was the first to overcome his surprise at his friends' antics. "What's going on, Kyouya?"
Kyouya smiled at Haruhi briefly before resuming his normal façade. "Haruhi has an announcement to make this evening."
She glared at him in return for that remark. She didn't know how she was going to tell them, but she hadn't wanted to just spring it on them out of the blue. They had no clue that she was pursuing a divorce since she didn't see them that often as a group and didn't want to have to explain it repeatedly to each of them.
However, she belatedly realized that Kyouya gave her a decent setup to tell them. She sighed and smiled nervously at the rest of the group. She knew she had Kyouya's support, but she was a little unsure how the others would take it. "I am officially no longer Haruhi Suou. I got a divorce from Tamaki."
There was silence around the table.
She looked at them for any kind of reaction, but all she could see was shock. Finally, they gave her some tentative smiles.
"Is this what you really wanted?" Kaoru asked.
"It was necessary," she replied. "For my sanity, I needed to. Tamaki isn't the same person anymore. He's too controlling and possessive. You saw what he did when I mentioned returning to work. Even after I left his house, he would still try to control me."
That brought Honey and Mori's protectiveness out. "He did what, Haru-chan?" Honey asked tightly.
Belatedly, she realized how that might have sounded. "He left messages telling me to come home and stay home. He said I needed to do what he told me." She shook her head. "He never said anything that was a threat to me. In his mind, he was trying to keep me safe, but I couldn't live like that."
"Of course not," Hikaru butted in. "No one could live like that."
"Not without being broken," was Mori's quiet comment. Honey and Kaoru nodded in agreement.
After a short pause, Hikaru asked, "So how come you never told us you wanted a divorce?"
"You guys weren't there all that often, and when you were, you didn't seem to want to discuss Tamaki at all." Their faces fell after that. Now Haruhi felt bad. She hadn't meant to hurt them, but it was the truth. She didn't blame them for it. "Hey, it's all right. I know you guys have been busy, so I didn't mind. Really." Under the table, she felt Kyouya take her hand in support.
Hikaru exchanged a glance with his brother. "Well, it's not just that. I mean, yeah, we were busy, but we didn't want to talk about Tamaki 'cause we didn't want to upset you."
"Yeah," Kaoru spoke up. "We thought you wouldn't want to think about how bad your relationship had gotten or remember your kids."
Now, she was offended. She stiffened in her seat. She saw Kyouya turn to look at her and felt his hand tighten on hers. "You thought I wouldn't want to remember my children?" she verified softly.
Kaoru squirmed and looked at Hikaru for help, who in turn was squirming. "That's not exactly what I meant," he tried. "I mean, I thought it would be painful to talk about them."
She started shaking, but she wasn't sure if it was from anger or pain. Kyouya stood and quickly pulled her out of the room. He guided her to an unused room in the restaurant. When he closed the door, she suddenly felt free to release her tears. "I don't want to remember them?!" she raged. "Of course I want to remember them! They were my children! I loved them! How dare they say that?!"
Kyouya pulled her into a hug and let her torrent of tears and words break against his chest. Eventually, she calmed down and just stood there in his arms. It felt like the safest place to be.
After a while, he said to her, "I understand where they were coming from." She looked up at him, a little distrustful of what he was about to say. He sighed when he saw the look in her eyes. He brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. "Do you remember how you were eight months ago? It was too painful for you to talk about them. You broke down on the bathroom floor. It took a lot of therapy for you to be happy remembering them. Our friends never saw that." He looked into her eyes. "That was their fault. They never asked. They made you feel you couldn't tell them. But, they didn't know that you were over that. So I can understand why Kaoru would say that."
Haruhi leaned her head against him. "It doesn't make it right," she grumbled.
He sighed and tightened his arms around her. "No, but only communication will fix that." After a moment, he asked, "Do you want to go back and talk with them?"
She tried debating with herself over it but knew that she would go back. "Let me go freshen up. Then I'll join you."
He released her. "Alright then. I'll let them know."
"Thank you." She smiled as he held the door open for her. He really never forgot his manners.
When she returned to the room, she explained that she had gotten therapy and she was a lot better. She told them she loved talking about her children and only occasionally, when the subject was brought up, would she get upset over them.
"My group therapy really helped me believe that I was a good mother and not to believe Tamaki. Both they and my therapist helped me stand on my own again," she said lastly.
The others looked at each other guiltily. Kaoru was the first to speak. "I'm sorry about assuming what you'd want. I shouldn't have done that."
Hikaru, as usual, immediately followed his brother. "Yeah, same goes for me. We should have asked you to find out how you felt."
Honey also confessed his sins. "It wasn't just Hikaru and Kaoru who thought so. I did, too. I wasn't sure how to ask you about it, though, without hurting you. I never want to see you upset."
Kyouya spoke for the first time. "However, sometimes you need to cry in order to heal."
That left them in their own contemplations. At least until Haruhi broke it up. "Enough of this. I still love you guys and I forgive you for it. Let's move on. I hate to see you guys so melancholy." That made the other chuckle. Relieved, she asked them, "So what have you guys been doing lately?"
The rest of dinner was filled with amusing anecdotes on their lives.
…
It took a couple of days for Tamaki to finally confront Kyouya. Haruhi was visiting per their normal routine when he pounded on Kyouya's door, shouting for him. She jumped at the sound. "What in the world is he doing?"
Kyouya frowned. "I don't know. Stay here. He doesn't know you're here and I don't know what he'd do if he knew."
"But, Kyouya…" She started to argue out of concern for him.
However, he pinned her with a glare. "Please. I know you hate being ordered around, but this could get ugly. Until I tell you it's safe, please stay away no matter what."
She could only nod as Tamaki renewed his attack on the door. From the way Tamaki was acting, she could understand his concern.
Kyouya quickly left, closing the living room doors behind him. She heard the front door open.
"Hello, Tamaki. To what do I owe this pleasure? Surely you haven't come to apologize."
She was surprised that Kyouya was taunting Tamaki.
"No, you bastard. You know why I'm here."
"Tut, tut. I'm not a bastard, Tamaki. You may want to use another word. As for why you are here, I'm no mind reader. Perhaps you care to enlighten me?" Kyouya's tone was very haughty.
She was shocked at what she just heard. Was Kyouya always like this?
"It's about how you stole Haruhi, asshole."
"I did no such thing." She noticed Kyouya dropped his condescending tone. He had a touch of anger in it now. "However, maybe this is something we should discuss sitting down. Let's go to my study."
She heard Kyouya's study door shut. She really wanted to know what they were talking about. So much had been left in the dark. She took a peek out the living room doors and verified they couldn't see her. She quickly moved to a hiding spot near the study so she could listen in. Apparently, she missed a bit of the conversation.
"Do you remember your wedding day? All of us told you that if you did anything where you didn't deserve her anymore, we would make sure to take care of it. You were NOT taking care of her, so we did." Kyouya took a shaky breath, but still shouted at Tamaki. "For God's sake, Tamaki! You locked her in your bedroom! Like a dog! No, you treated Antoinette better than you did Haruhi." Kyouya's voice was full of condemnation.
Haruhi was surprised to hear that much passion in it, even more so that he was actually condemning his best friend. But she suddenly wondered if they really were friends anymore.
Apparently, Tamaki couldn't respond because she heard Kyouya continue.
"I told you how you were treating her before, when you had a chance to fix it. But you didn't. You wouldn't talk to her. Or us. Hell, the way you ended up treating her went against everything you used to preach about how to treat any woman, let alone your own wife."
Finally, Tamaki seemed to have found his voice, for he cut in on Kyouya. "Yes, you told me how to treat my own damn wife! I told you to butt out! But no! You thought you could insist, to tell me how I was wrong. Will you finally admit that you've been in love with my wife since before we were married? You just wanted her for yourself!"
Haruhi really didn't know that man anymore. There was so much anger and disgust, so much hate in his voice. But she was surprised at the control Kyouya had.
"What I wanted was for her to be taken care of," Kyouya replied coolly. "I wanted her to be happy, but I understood the circumstances were horrible. She couldn't be happy with losing both of her children. But you were making her feel worse. You should have been trying to help her, and yourself." He started to get worked up again. "You both needed to talk. You both needed to start getting better. But you wouldn't let that happen. Were you trying to pretend it didn't happen? Were you trying to pretend you never even had children?!"
Suddenly, Haruhi heard someone being hit and crashing in the room. Even though Kyouya had told her that no matter what she needed to stay out of the room, she ran to the door. As she reached the door, she could hear Tamaki screaming, "No! It was you! It was all you! You wanted to take away my Haruhi! You never wanted us together! You hated that we had kids! You were so jealous that you had to do this to us! To me! You took away my family! You took away my happiness! Even Haruhi! She did it, too! She took everything away, too!"
His last statement stayed her hand. He really thought she had harmed him and their children. It was Kyouya's voice that made her step back. He didn't sound like he was in pain.
"Tamaki, listen to yourself. Why would Haruhi ever want to hurt her children?"
She waited for an answer. Apparently, Kyouya was, too.
"Why, Tamaki?" he demanded, his tone hard.
"Why…" Tamaki sounded lost, broken. "Why would she do it? I don't understand."
"You tell me." Kyouya's voice was still hard.
"She… she… she killed them," he claimed again; however, this time, he lacked any conviction in his voice.
"Why, Tamaki?" Kyouya demanded again.
There was a long silence. Finally, Tamaki whimpered. "I don't know," he whispered.
Haruhi almost didn't hear it except that she had her ear to the door.
"Why, Tamaki?" Kyouya asked again, this time softly.
Tamaki whimpered again. "She… she wouldn't." She could make out his crying. "Oh, god. Why? Why did this happen?"
She heard some shuffling and thought they might be opening the door soon. She hurried back to the living room to wait for Kyouya. She no longer worried about him.
Eventually, she heard them leave the study, Kyouya murmur something to Tamaki, and then the front door opening and closing. She knew Tamaki was gone. When he didn't come to get her, she went to him.
He had been silent since Tamaki left. She was the one to notice his knuckles were bleeding. Without a word, she led him to the kitchen and found his first aid box. Kyouya sat at the kitchen table as she set out the bandages.
As she wrapped his first finger, she found her voice. "How did this happen?"
He watched her tending his wounds for a bit before he answered. "He took a swing at me and I pinned him to the desk. I scraped my hand when I did so."
"What will happen now?" she asked.
"He agreed to get help."
She finished quickly and sat quietly inspecting her work, holding his hands. That hadn't quite answered her question, so she posed a more specific one. "Is he right?" She felt Kyouya stiffen. "Is Tamaki right about you being in love with me?"
He pulled his hands away and she let him. However, when he looked away from her, she balked. She placed her hand on his cheek and drew his gaze back to her. She studied his confusing expression and thought it was shame. However, as she studied him, he studied her. Slowly his expression turned to wary hope.
He brought one of his own hands up to her cheek. "Yes. For a very long time."
She smiled at him. She knew that she was falling in love with him, and was happy to hear the confession. "Then that makes this easy." She leaned in to press her lips against his.
He stiffened in shock, but only for a moment. He wrapped his arms around her and took control of the kiss. She let him. It always felt good to be in his arms.
Eventually, he pulled away. He gazed at her, just watched her. Finally, she grinned at him. "What are you looking at?"
He smiled back at her. "Everything."