AN: Okay, I'm having the hardest time uploading this damn chapter. Apparently the fanfiction gods aren't happy with me.

...

shut up it's almost 2am

Anyways, sorry for not updating, but I've had personal issues and I just haven't really been feeling this story. Sorry.

As always, enjoy, and hopefully I can get this fucking chapter uploaded this time...

"So, what's his name?" Anna asked as Castiel came through the door late one night. Anna was bouncing around like a rabbit in apparent anticipation.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Castiel answered nonchalantly as he walked pass the giddy red-head into their shared kitchen. "I was at the library."

"Who the hell dresses up like that to go to the damn library?" Anna asked, motioning at Castiel, who admittedly, was dressed rather nicely. "You've been out with whoever the hell this guy is at least four times!" She ducked under Cas' arm where he was standing at the refrigerator to face her friend. "Now tell me, what the hell is his name?"

"I'm not 'going out' with—" Castiel started until Anna crossed her arms and began to glare at her best friend. Castiel groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fine. His name is Zachary."

Anna smiled wildly at the mere mention of Zachary's name. "Oh my God!" she chirped in over-excitement. "Is he nice? Is he cute? Have you kissed him yet? Is he your boyfriend? Is—"

"Anna!" Calm down." He sighed and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He took a long drink in attempt to buy himself more time before he answered. "Yes, he's nice. Yes, he's very cute. Yes, I have kissed him… well, he kissed me, but I kissed him back—"

"And, is he your boyfriend?" Anna asked with a wide smile on her face. She was more excited about this whole thing than Castiel was.

Cas shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. "I don't know," he answered truthfully, because honestly, he didn't have a damn idea. "He's sweet, cute, and funny…"

"But?"

"But… I haven't been in a relationship for a really long time and…" he cleared his throat and shook his head, "well, we both know how well that ended." He thought about the memory for a moment but pushed it way away in his head. "I really like Zach. He makes me feel… happy. And I haven't been happy in a really long time."

"So what?" Anna asked, leaning against the counter, next to her friend. As annoying as she could be, she definitely did care; that was why Castiel loved her so much.

"So…" Another sigh followed by him shaking his head. "So I really don't want to screw this up. I like him. A lot. And I know we've only been on four dates, but he asked me out again, and…" Castiel bit his bottom lip to stop him from continuing to ramble on like he was. "Do you think I'm moving too fast?"

"I thought moving fast was kind of your thing. I mean, you and Dean started dating within a week of knowing each other. You told him you loved him like a month later…"

Castiel looked down at his feet. "I was sixteen," he muttered, not that it made much of a difference, but he felt the need to mention it. "I was young and stupid. Everything in our relationship was fast. Maybe that's why we broke up…"

Anna sighed and wrapped her arm around Cas' shoulder, giving him an odd, sideways, hug. "You two broke up because you were leaving and he was staying," she pointed out. Castiel was silent for a few moments as he leaned into Anna's hug. She took that as a cue to go on. "And this isn't about you and Dean. Not really. There's a difference in dating when you're in high school and when you're in college, or any other time in your life."

He finally looked over at her with curious eyes. "Is there?" he muttered. He hated talking about dating. He'd hated the mere idea of dating, honestly.

"Of course there is," Anna said with a small, reassuring, smile. "When you're dating in high school it's all flowers, puppies, rainbows, and sneaking around to get laid and not get caught." Castiel thought a second. He wouldn't exactly describe his relationship as 'flowers, puppies and rainbows' but he thought he knew what Anna was talking about. For the most part. "But when you're in college… I don't know. Things get more serious. You start thinking about your future a lot more."

"Future?"

"Yeah, your future. Like, what you're going to do for a living, marriage, kids… that kind of stuff," she clarified. "Do you want any of that?"

"I don't know," he answered with a sigh, too quickly. He didn't want to bother thinking about any of that now. The sixteen year old version of himself had always envision himself with Dean, living in a white house with forest green shudders, with a porch with a swing on it that they'd sit on every night. But he wasn't sixteen anymore. He knew that none of that was a reality. He wasn't even sure if he wanted it to be a reality anymore. "Maybe one day, I guess," he finally answered after pondering the question a while. "Do you?"

Anna nodded and hooked her chin up onto Castiel's shoulder. "'Course I do. I think most people do; everyone wants to be able to come home to that one special person that they love more than anyone in the world."

Castiel sighed and shrugged. Anna went on. "So what are you going to do about Zachary?" Anna asked, her voice serious.

Castiel shrugged and pulled away from his friend. "He asked me out again Thursday. I'll go out with him then and… and I'll ask him what we are exactly."

Anna smiled and nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan." She smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek before leaving the room.

Castiel went back to his room and stopped as he stood next to his bed. On the bedside table, was the necklace Dean gave him; the same one he'd worn every day until the night of the party about a week ago. He picked it up, opened the drawer of the table, dropped it in and closed it without a second thought.

-0-

Dinner with Zachary was always fun; he always smiled when he was with him. Zachary was probably one of the nicest people—besides Anna—that he'd met whilst attending Yale. He was fun, flirty, sarcastic, to a funny extent, and just… amazing. Castiel didn't think anyone could make him feel like this again, but he was wrong.

"I wish you'd let me pay at least once," Castiel muttered into his glass of way too expensive wine that, legally, he shouldn't have been drinking. "I'm not completely broke, you know." It was a lie. He was completely broke, but he didn't want Zachary thinking that.

Zachary smiled and reached over to cover Castiel's spare hand with his own. Cas shivered slightly and downed what was left of his wine. "Believe it or not, I do enjoy taking you out and buying you dinner every once and a while," Zachary paused to laugh softly as he ran the pad of his thumb along Cas' hand, "And, if I do say so myself, it's a hell of a lot better than ramen noodles every night."

Castiel groaned and rolled his eyes. "I shouldn't have ever told you that," he said through his laughter. They both smiled for a moment as they looked into each other's eyes. It was… romantic. Very, extremely, undeniably romantic and Castiel was starting to get that damn shiver again. "What are we doing?" he blurted out after a moment.

"Holding hands… eating dinner… whatever suits you the best," Zachary answered with a quirk of his brow.

"I meant… us. What are we doing?" Castiel asked, well aware that he hadn't elaborated very far. He sighed and placed his other hand over Zachary's. "I mean," he took a short, deep breath before blurting out the rest of the question, "are we dating?"

Zachary was silent for a minute and looked Castiel over as if he were studying him. "Do you think we're dating?"

"I asked you," Castiel muttered, causing Zachary to laugh. His stomach did a turn and he began to feel slightly, if not extremely, embarrassed.

"I guess you did," he answered with the same version of the smile he had on his face the night they met. "Well, if it were solely up to me, I'd say yes: we are. I like you, Cas. I find you to be one of the kindest, sweetest, and most adorably naïve people I've ever met," he paused a moment and gave Cas' hand a small squeeze. "And obviously, you're extremely attractive."

Castiel blushed softly and looked down at their hands. "Yeah, you too," he answered. He knew that it wasn't really a proper response to what Zachary had said to him, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"So that settles it," Zachary said as if he'd just solved the biggest case on the face of the earth.

Castiel looked up to face him, only to see he was smiling widely again. "Settles what?"

"We're dating, if you like that."

Castiel smiled and laughed softly and did something he really didn't plan on doing. He leaned over the table and kissed Zachary without a second thought to anything, or anyone, else in the world.

He'd only kissed Zachary once before. After their second date, Zachary had dropped him off at his apartment complex and walked him up to his room. He told Zachary what a great time he'd had with him, and Zachary responded by leaning in and pecking his lips gently. Castiel hadn't known what hit him at the time, but within a few moments he kissed back just as chastely.

This kiss was different. It still remained semi-chaste, seeing they were in a public restaurant and already getting a few odd looks, but this time Castiel initiated it, and involved just the faintest bit of tongue. He didn't pull away until a few seconds, but eventually, he did. He smiled softly and Zachary before sitting back in his seat and chuckling.

Zachary smiled back at him and took his hand once again as they almost instantly drummed up a new conversation to talk about.

-0-

Zachary drove Castiel home and walked him up to his apartment as usual. This time, as they walked up, Zachary slipped his fingers in between Cas'. Zachary's hand felt weird in his hand. It was soft and smooth opposed to how Dean's hand had been calloused and rough. It was odd. Not bad… just… different.

He didn't let himself think about it. Instead, he let Zachary walk him upstairs and to his door. He smiled at him once they got there and allowed himself to be kissed softly until it turned significantly less gentle and more urgent. He didn't mind. He let himself be pushed against the wall, allowed himself to thread his fingers through Zachary's short hair, and permitted himself to feel something for the other man.

Sooner he was out of breath and only pulling away because he physically couldn't breathe. Zachary looked him in the eye, out of breath as well as he pressed his forehead against Cas'. They were exactly the same height, as opposed to Dean being a few inches taller than him.

No. He wasn't thinking about Dean. He and Dean had broken up two years ago. He couldn't keep comparing Zachary to Dean because obviously Zachary was not Dean. He was Zachary. Zachary with his pale blue eyes and smile that made Castiel happy for once in the last two years. Zachary was his boyfriend now, not Dean.

"Wow," Cas whispered softly after a few moments.

"Yeah," the other man responded, and they both laughed softly.

They stayed with their foreheads pressed together for a few moments and eventually, Castiel realized that he didn't want Zach to leave. "Um," he started softly, not exactly sure how to go about this. "My, uh, my roommate is spending the night with one of her friends. They're getting up early for some kind of… shopping, thing. I don't know. But… she's not here. So… do you want to maybe come inside for… I don't know, coffee, or something?"

Zachary laughed and nodded a little, pulling away from Cas to allow him to open the door. "This is nice," he observed as he walked in behind Castiel. "How long have you lived here?"

"Anna's lived here for a while. I think she bought it the first day of freshman year," he said as he walked into the kitchen, motioning for Zachary to follow him. "We met at freshman orientation and… well, she was the only person who didn't make fun of me for—" being a train wreck, not knowing up from down, looking like a heartbroken mess, being… me… "—not having a single idea what to do. Long story short, we've been best friend's ever since and I moved in with her within the semester," he paused a moment and turned to face him. "Did you want some coffee, or some water, or—"

"Actually, I just really wanted to see where you lived," Zachary admitted, "and, well, wanted to spend a bit more time with you before the night's end."

Castiel smiled softly and nodded. "Then… living room, I guess," he said, walking passed Zachary and into the living room. He didn't know how Anna did this—the whole, 'bringing guys back to my apartment thing' that is—because he was horrible at it.

He sat down on the old, slightly tattered, red couch that didn't match anything else in the apartment but was comfortable as hell. "Sorry, the place is… a wreck. Anna claims to be allergic to cleaning and I'm usually too busy to clean up after her messes."

Zachary laughed and sat next to Castiel. "It's alright. Believe me, when you attend medical school, with all the studying you do, it doesn't leave much time for cleaning."

"I hope I'm not taking you away from anything import—"

He was silenced with a kiss. It reminded him of the way that Dean used to laugh and kiss him to get him to shut up when he started to yammer on about something stupid.

"We've established the fact that I enjoy you company, Cas," Zachary pointed out before leaning in and kissing Castiel again, his hands on either side of the other man's face. Castiel eased into the kiss and before he knew it, he was pressed against the couch with Zachary on top of him.

After a few minutes, Zachary pulled away and looked Castiel in the eye. "I hope we aren't going too fast…" he said, his voice earnest and caring.

"No, not at all," Castiel rasped. He cleared his throat and bit down on his bottom lip. "Um… if you want we can go back to my room…"

Zachary nodded and got off of Castiel, allowing him to stand up before he took his hand. Castiel led Zachary back to his room and shut the door behind them, hoping to leave any thought or memory of Dean behind that door.