CC woke abruptly, not quite knowing what had awakened her. In fact, she didn't even remember going to sleep.

She was curled up on the couch in Maxwell's office with an open play in her lap. Reading new plays always made her sleepy, and this wasn't the first one that had caused her to have an unexpected nap.

CC sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. Maxwell sat at his desk, lips pursed in thought, with a pen in his hand. CC studied him for a moment, softly smiling to herself.

"How long was I out, Maxwell?" she asked around a yawn. Her boss didn't even bother to look up to answer her. CC frowned. "Maxwell?"

Before he had a chance to react to her question, the door burst open, and Nanny Fine breezed in.

"Mr. Sheffield..."

For her, Maxwell looked up. "What is it, Miss Fine?"

"I'm worried about Gracie."

CC narrowed her eyes as she watched Nanny Fine walk over to Maxwell's desk and perch on it. The nanny's already short skirt rode up to an indecent level when she crossed her legs.

Maxwell put down his pen and gave her his full attention. "What is the matter?"

"Something's bothering her, and I don't know what it is. I need a way to make her spill her guts."

CC sighed and got to her feet. "Really, Nanny Fine, isn't it your job to figure out these things?"

"What did you have in mind?" Maxwell asked.

"Well, I was thinking..."

"Now, that's something new," CC mumbled, rolling her eyes. "I'll be right back, Maxwell. I'm going for some water."

Not surprisingly, neither answered. CC may as well have been invisible. At least in the kitchen, she'd be able to get some human interaction-even if it was just with Niles.

She still felt a little sleepy as she wandered down the corridors. Maybe coffee would be a better idea than water. Niles's coffee was always strong and bracing, and most of the time-even when he did something to it- it was really good.

The kitchen door was propped open and, as she approached, CC could see Niles puttering around, gathering dishes. He was singing quietly to himself, but his voice was so soft that she couldn't make out the words. She watched him rinse off the remnants of the Sheffield's last meal and realized she couldn't remember what they ate. In fact, she couldn't even remember coming in that morning. She stopped, puzzled, and searched her mind. When it still didn't come to her, she decided she must still be groggy from her unplanned nap.

Impatiently, she ran a hand over her forehead before hurrying into the kitchen. "All right, butler boy, where's the coffee?"

Niles ignored her as he started loading dishes into the dishwasher.

"Hey, Hazel, are you listening to me?"

There was no reaction, and CC clenched her teeth as anger welled up inside of her. She hated when Niles played this game. The last time, Maxwell had reprimanded her when she'd given in first and yelled at Niles. She wouldn't let that happen again. This time, she'd wait him out.

CC stood there with her arms crossed, watching him work. Her irritation grew as he continued to ignore her.

The phone interrupted their game of wills. Niles stopped humming and placed the plate he was holding on the counter. He wiped his hands on a towel and picked up the receiver.

"Sheffield residence...Yes, this is Niles...What?" CC saw a look of disbelief go over his face. "When did it happen?...Where is she?"

Curious, CC forgot about her need for coffee and moved closer. Niles's expression had turned strange...shock and worry and...was that anger?

"Yes...Yes...Thank you for calling."

As he hung up, CC asked, "What was that all about?"

Niles didn't even glance at her. He just numbly passed her and went out the door. Curiously, CC followed him.

Nanny Fine and Maxwell were still talking in the office. CC could tell by his expression that he was about to give in to whatever outrageous request the nanny was making this time.

"Sir," Niles said slowly, stopping so abruptly that CC almost bumped into him, "I have news."

Nanny Fine turned on her perch, and she and Maxwell stared questioningly at Niles.

When Niles paused before speaking, Maxwell impatiently asked, "What is it?"

"Miss Babcock has been in a terrible accident."

"Very funny, Niles." CC rolled her eyes.

"An accident?" Maxwell sat up straighter.

Concern flashed over Nanny Fine's face. "Is she all right?"

"No." Niles's voice was firm and quiet.

"Of course I'm all right," CC interrupted. "There was no accident."

"Is she...?"

"Dead?" Niles shook his head. "No. Unfortun..." He bit back the word and swallowed before continuing, "She was headed to the theatre this morning when a truck smashed into the side of her BMW."

CC froze. She could remember leaving for the theatre that morning but she couldn't remember arriving. How odd.

"They don't know..." Niles's voice sounded strained. "She's fighting for her life..."

"Don't be ridiculous!" CC burst out, throwing her arms in the air. "I'm right here."

"For some reason, that blasted woman has made me her emergency contact. Why would she do such a thing?"

CC suddenly went cold. It had been years since she had done that, and she had never told anyone-especially Niles.

There was a flash of light, and CC's stomach clenched in fear as she saw a huge black truck bearing down on her. It was going much too fast, and the driver was looking at a building across the street. The flash was so real that CC's knees went weak.

"Niles?" She waved a hand in front of his eyes, but he didn't even blink. "Maxwell? Nanny Fine?"

"Who knows why Miss Babcock does anything?" Nanny Fine hopped off of Maxwell's desk.

"Indeed," Niles agreed.

Stunned, CC reached out desperately to pinch Niles and realized she couldn't feel him.

"Poor CC," Maxwell said.

"They promised to keep us posted, sir."

"Do you think we should go...?" Nanny Fine asked softly.

"It's not really our place, is it?" Maxwell asked, and CC didn't know whether to laugh or sob.

"None of her family is nearby, sir," Niles said quietly.

"Like they'd come even if they were," CC told him, even though she now knew he couldn't hear her. The memory was coming back in vivid detail. The flash as sunlight hit the other driver's mirror. The crash and crunch of metal. The searing pain.

"Somebody should be there," Nanny Fine insisted. "I might not always get along with her, but I'm not letting her die alone."

A slight smile turned up the corner of Niles's mouth. "Oh, this would horrify her, if she knew. I'm coming too."

"You're thinking of torturing her now?"

"Of course. It's what I do."

Niles was wrong, CC realized with a jolt. She didn't find the thought of the two of them sitting in the hospital waiting horrifying. In a way, it was rather comforting. She didn't really hate either of them. Standing there as a...What the hell was she, anyway? A ghost?...whatever, she could be honest with herself. What use were lies when she was probably on her way out anyway? CC could admit that she was often almost fond of Nanny Fine. There were times when the annoying nanny seemed like her only friend. If it weren't for their tug-of-war over Maxwell-a tug-of-war Nanny Fine had been constantly winning-CC might have actually let their friendship develop. As for Niles, her relationship with him was very complicated. She'd known him for over fifteen years, and she still couldn't decide whether she adored him or hated him. He was her best friend; he was her fiercest enemy.

"Are you coming, sir?"

A pained look came to Maxwell's face. "I don't think so."

Niles's eyebrows rose. "Sir?"

"The doctors don't need me in the way."

"Of course not, sir."

A sharp wave of despair jabbed into CC's chest. He had never cared for her. Never enough. Even when she was quite possibly dying, he couldn't bring himself to care.

Unable to look at him, CC followed Niles and Nanny Fine as they prepared to leave. Several times, she tried to get their attention so they'd know that part of her was there with them, but it didn't work.

The two of them were strangely quiet. There was none of the companionable laughter or gossip she usually walked in on in the kitchen. Their faces were solemn and Nanny Fine's eyes were sad.

As Niles opened the door for Nanny Fine, CC wondered what was happening to her. Was she really fighting for her life? Could she already be dead?

The thought stunned her, and CC stopped walking. The door closed behind Niles, and CC was left in the foyer by herself.

Her breath—or what felt like breath—caught, and CC was afraid. Even though Niles and Nanny Fine hadn't been aware of her presence, with them she hadn't felt as if she were in this alone. As soon as they were gone, the weight of what was happening crashed down on her. She was a spirit and no one could see or hear her. At any moment, the tiny spark that was keeping her alive could go out, and it would all be over. Blackness. Nothing. CC didn't believe in an afterlife and, if she did, she couldn't believe that it would be any better than the life she was used to.

Not wanting to be left behind, CC hurried to the door. She knew she couldn't open it because she couldn't touch it. She wondered if she'd be able to go right through it.

Hesitantly, she reached up and carefully put her palm against it. As she had expected, CC felt no resistance. Slowly, she pushed forward, and her hand disappeared. The sight was almost enough to make her jerk back. Still, CC was not some frightened little girl. She had never backed down from facing her fears.

Steeling herself and straightening her shoulders, she forced her entire body and mind to go completely calm. Then, with no hesitation, she boldly walked through the door...

...and into an operating room.

With shock, CC tried to take in the whiteness of it all. White walls, White clad people. White sheets. And red.

Oh my God. CC gulped and turned her eyes away at the sight of someone's insides.

She studied her surroundings, wondering how she'd ended up there. Wasn't she supposed to be seeing sidewalks and traffic instead of the inside of a hospital?

The room wasn't just white. There were grays and silvers and the blue eyes of one of the nurses. They were so light that they reminded her of Niles's. CC stared at her for a moment, watching the thoughts flicker through those eyes, which were the only part of the nurse's face she could see. For some reason, they calmed her, and she was able to look away and glance at the doctor and other attendants. Machines beeped, but underneath was a hushed solemness.

Frowning, CC stepped closer and looked down at the face on the table. The queasiness returned as she realized it was her own. The eyes were closed and the flesh was way too pale. A breathing tube was in her mouth, and there were dark circles under her eyes. Bruises marred her cheekbone, and there was a bandage across her forehead.

The doctor and his staff murmured to one another, but CC didn't listen to their words. She was fascinated by the image in front of her. If she stayed here long enough, could she watch herself die?

XXX

CC lost track of time as she watched the surgeon try to save her life. It was at least an hour, maybe two, and nothing changed. The words were the same, the actions were the same, the room was the same.

Several times, the doctor had sounded worried or urgent, and each time CC wondered if that was the time her life would end. Still, somehow, the body on the table went on living. It kept fighting, as if it actually had something to fight for.

As she lay dying—or refusing too die, it seemed—CC thought about how empty her life was and how meaningless. If she did die, no one would care. Niles and Miss Fine had come to see her out of either fascination or obligation, and Maxwell hadn't even managed that much. Her family was all estranged, except maybe for Noel, and the people she called friends disliked her as much as she disliked them. There would be no one to mourn the Bitch of Broadway.

It was sad, really. Usually, when she contemplated such things, she threw herself into her work to make herself forget them. In that stark operating room, those thoughts were all she had.

She worried about Chester briefly before acknowledging that he'd have a happy life with Nanny Fine. Even her dog, her baby, liked others more than he liked CC herself.

With a heavy sigh, CC turned away from the operating table and towards the door. She wondered what would happen if she went through it. Would she find herself in a hospital corridor or would she find herself back at Maxwell's? It didn't matter, she supposed. There wasn't really anywhere she wanted to be. She just couldn't stay in that room staring at herself, trapped in her own mind.

There was another abrupt transition as she took a step towards the door and found herself in a different room. CC blinked at the sudden change.

The room around her was full of activity, and nurses were rushing in different directions. A huge desk dominated the room, and several doorways branched out from it. CC chose one at random, following the sound of hushed voices, and discovered an almost empty waiting room.

A group of crying women were the source of the voices, and CC watched them hug one another with a feeling of vague curiosity. A slight movement beyond them caught her eye, and she realized there were more people in the room.

Going in, CC went around the women and saw Nanny Fine and Niles sitting quietly at the back. Nanny Fine was fidgeting and Niles was staring at his hands, which were twined in his lap.

CC moved closer, wondering what they were saying about her...what they were thinking. Had they been making fun of her just seconds before? Neither of them looked amused. In fact, Nanny Fine looked strangely concerned, and Niles was uncharacteristically silent.

"It's been so long." Nanny Fine sighed. "How much longer is it gonna take?"

Niles looked up. "Would you like me to take you home, Miss Fine? Operations like this take hours."

"But it's been hours already."

"It could be several more."

"At least this means she's still alive, right?"

"I suppose," Niles answered tonelessly.

"I was so mean to her, Niles. I teased her because it was fun, but I didn't really mean it. Do you think she thought I did? I feel so guilty for all the times I hurt her feelings."

"Don't be ridiculous. You can't hurt something she doesn't have. Miss Babcock is made of ice, through and through."

Nanny Fine smiled a soft little half smile and slapped Niles gently on the hand. He smiled back, and CC was slightly jealous of their easy intimacy.

The two of them were quiet for several moments, something CC thought was an impossibility, before Nanny Fine asked, "Have you contacted her family?"

"Yes, and they were none too pleased that she made me her emergency contact and, apparently, next of kin...which is probably why she did it."

"And?"

"Mrs...whatever her last name is now...is on one of her grand vacations and informed me that she will not be coming home early. I'm to call her if Miss Babcock dies."

CC wasn't surprised, but she still winced at the callous selfishness of her mother. It was easy to see where her own selfishness came from.

Nanny Fine put a hand to her throat but did not reply as Niles continued, "Mr. Babcock seemed concerned but didn't think he'd be able to get away from his new business deal for at least a week. He has requested, however, that I call him every night to tell him how his "kitten" is doing."

This time, Nanny Fine shook her head. "I thought I had shown Stewie the error of his ways. Doesn't he know family is more important than business? If she dies, he'll never forgive himself."

Niles shrugged. "Her brother is planning on coming in the day after tomorrow, provided she lives, he said. Apparently, he is distressed because he can't place bets with Miss Babcock on whether she'll live or die."

CC chuckled and shook her head. That was so Noel. The two of them had a very complicated relationship, and they shared a bizarre sense of humour. He was rather shallow, but so was she, and he was the only one in her family to ever really show her affection when she was growing up.

"And her sister?" Nanny Fine asked.

Something like anger touched Niles's face briefly. "She said it couldn't have happened to a better person and then hung up on me."

The nanny's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. Niles gave her a slight nod of acknowledgment.

"Even I thought that was going too far," he added.

CC dropped into the chair beside Nanny Fine. It seemed as if DD couldn't let go of her animosity even when CC was dying. The whole time they were growing up, DD had never missed an opportunity to tell CC that she was an unloved, unwanted mistake and that it was her birth that had driven their mother away. Noel always maintained that DD was just jealous, but something in her malicious words rang true to CC.

"And you wonder where Miss Babcock gets it from." Nanny fine shook her head again.

If someone else in her family were in the hospital dying, would CC have taken the time to visit them? She'd like to think that she would, but she couldn't be sure. Her family was broken, and it had been for a long time.

Niles made a noncommittal sound but didn't speak. Nanny Fine also fell silent, and CC felt her own thoughts scatter and start drifting away.

XXX

It was another few hours before a doctor came out and asked, "Mr. Butler?"

Niles and Nanny Fine had been talking quietly but they stopped when they heard the doctor's voice.

A surprised look came to Nanny Fine's face. "Butler?"

Niles glanced at her briefly before standing up and saying, "Yes, I'm Niles Butler."

The doctor looked tired but then so did Niles. "Chastity-Claire has made it out of surgery..."

Niles looked puzzled for a fraction of a second, but his face almost immediately smoothed with understanding. CC could just imagine the things he'd say to her now that he knew her first name...if she lived to hear them.

"And?" he asked.

"And we don't know." The doctor sighed. "She's stable for now, and we managed to stop the bleeding. She was hurt very badly, and we don't expect her to wake up for a good long while."

"If ever" hung in the air as audibly as if he'd said it.

"If she makes it through the next twelve hours, then things will look a little brighter. For now, just take comfort in the fact she's still alive."

Niles absorbed this silently.

"If anything changes, I'll let you know. Where can I reach you?"

Niles glanced at Nanny Fine. "Fran?"

She bit her lip for a second, looking uncertain.

"You're sure she won't wake up?" she finally asked.

"Quite certain," the doctor assured her.

"And you'll call us if it looks like..."

"I'll call Mr. Butler, yes."

"Niles," Niles corrected.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I prefer to just be called Niles."

"No wonder." CC smirked. "Who wants to be a butler named Butler?"

"Okay, well, Niles, I will call if anything changes. You have my word."

"Maybe we should go, Niles," Nanny Fine said. "We can't do anything here, and it's two in the morning. Miss Babcock's sleeping. Maybe we should, too."

"Whatever you wish." He rubbed an eye tiredly. "I hope Mr. Sheffield doesn't mind getting take out for breakfast. I'm exhausted."

"Me, too. Let's go home. Thank you, Doctor. We can be reached at the number on file."

"Try to get some rest. I know it's hard when someone you love is ill..."

"Someone I love?" Niles scoffed. "I just want to know if I'm in the Will."

"Niles!" Nanny Fine slapped his shoulder. "Behave. Forgive him, Doctor. He's just joking."

The doctor just nodded and walked away. CC watched Nanny Fine and Niles gather up their things and head off in the other direction. Unsure of what to do, she just stood there watching until they disappeared behind a set of doors.

Once more, loneliness slammed into her. She had nowhere to go, nothing to do. She didn't require sleeping or eating. She couldn't touch anything. Her whole world was in limbo. Everyone else's lives were moving on, but she was standing alone. Motionless and waiting.

But she didn't know what she was waiting for.