Fickle

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.

"...Did you know that when the female fly accepts the pheromones put off by a male fly, it re-writes her brain, and destroys the receptors that receive pheromones? Sensing the change, the male fly does the same. When two flies love each other, they do it so hard, they will never love anything else ever again. If either one of them dies before procreation can happen, both sets of genetic code are lost forever...

"...I hope we are reborn as flies, so that we can love each other as hard as we were meant to."

-Jared Singer.

Kagome ran one slender fingertip around the rim of the glass before her. She stared at the amber liquid within the glass, watching the tiny bubbles within it float languidly to the surface, where they burst, releasing tiny splashes of mist that would have gone unnoticed by anyone else. Not her. She had absolutely nothing else to pay attention to at the moment. She continued to stare at the liquid, running her fingertips up and down the glass, fascinated with how the condensation from the chilled beverage left trails from where her fingers had been. She pulled one hand away from the glass to stare at her wet fingertips absently.

"You won't want that when it's warm," a deep voice said in her ear, warm breath tickling against the lobe.

Kagome's body remained perfectly still, besides the fingers of her other hand that continued to travel up the glass, but her eyes flashed up to look into the mirror behind the bar. She stared over her reflection's shoulder into the teasing gray-blue eyes that were studying her so intently and slowly lowered her free hand to rest on the bar counter. She took in his long, ebony hair that was tied at the nape of his neck, and his flawless, sun-kissed skin and she lifted the corner of her pretty red lips into a smirk. He was tall, having to lean forward to reach her ear, even though the stool she sat on held her pretty high off the ground as it was. He was dressed decently enough, wearing a gray button up shirt beneath a casual, black blazer. His shoulders were broad, complimenting a long neck and strong jaw. He smiled under her observation, revealing straight teeth that shone white, even in the dim bar lighting. She took in the lack of fangs, not allowing her disappointment to show on her face. She had been hoping for a demon this time around... He lifted a hand to brush back his bangs, revealing a tattoo on the center of his forehead; a pale, lavender cross. She blinked in mild surprise at the symbol that labeled him as a member of a local gang. A pretty dangerous one at that. He'll do.

Kagome slowly turned in her seat, taking her glass in her left hand as she did. She tilted her head to the side, letting her own raven locks tumble over her bare shoulder, the ends curling just over her breast. She noticed his gaze drop to watch the hair fall, taking a good look at the cleavage provided by the tight, black, strapless dress that she wore. She smiled just a bit wider when his eyes snapped back to hers, one of his thick eyebrows raised as she stared. She lifted her glass up to him in a mock toast before she lifted the glass to her painted lips and tipped it back, closing her eyes as she swallowed its contents.

After a moment, she gently set an empty glass on the bar counter, licking her lips before she looked back at the man before her. Her insides warmed pleasantly, and he chuckled, moving to take the seat beside her, looking down at the empty glass before looking back at her.

"All gone," she said with a sigh, turning back to her original position, raising a hand to flag down the bartender.

"Another?" the man said in surprise, smiling at her as she ordered another glass.

"Why not?" Kagome asked, turning her head to look at him. "I don't have anywhere to be. Do you?"

The man watched her a moment, staring into her eyes with something akin to approval. Kagome rose an eyebrow at him, resting her arms on the counter in front of her and tossing her hair over her shoulder, revealing her pale skin. The man smiled wider before he turned to the bartender before them.

"Make that two," he said, reaching for his wallet in his blazer pocket. Kagome bit her lip and smiled to herself. "I'm Bankotsu, by the way."

Kagome held out her hand, letting him take hold of it and hold it tenderly in his own.

"Kagome," she said. Bankotsu just smiled, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing the 1 back of it.

"Kagome," he repeated, his voice husky. Kagome bit her lip and lowered her eyes flirtatiously. Got him.

Kagome gasped as they fall backward onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Bankotsu's neck as his teeth nibbled at her ear. He panted, his hands searching the back of her dress for a zipper, finally giving up and just grabbing the fabric and pulling it down as hard as he could. Kagome helped him, lifting her hips so that he could tug it down her waist, and off her legs. Still breathless, he kneeled over her, quickly pulling off his blazer and working on his shirt.

"You're beautiful, Kagome," he breathed, staring down at her through hazy, half-lidded eyes.

Kagome said nothing, instead sitting up, wearing nothing but her black, strapless bra and matching panties to work on removing his belt and pants. It hadn't taken much to get him to down a few beers and lead her back to his place. She had refused to take him back to hers. The fool had gone along with it, wanting nothing more than to get her in bed. To be honest, that was exactly what she had planned from the start. Kagome's thoughts dashed as she finally managed to get his pants to drop to his ankles.

Bankotsu kicked clumsily out of his jeans before he crawled forward onto the bed. Kagome laid back, reaching up to pull his face to her roughly. She kissed him hungrily, her tongue running over his teeth, against the roof of his mouth, before finally tangling with his. The taste of beer filled her mouth, but she pushed past it. His hands came up behind her head, knotting in her hair and holding her firmly in place. Kagome gasped as he tugged roughly on the locks to tilt her head back, exposing her neck.

He dipped his head, running his tongue from the dip in her collar-bone, up her throat to her chin. Kagome shivered at the action, her fingers tangling in his hair as he repeated the action. One of his hands moved to her chest, tugging down the bra so that the breast spilled out, bouncing a bit as it was freed. Bankotsu lifted himself up a bit to stare down at it before he looked back up at Kagome, his eyes meeting hers as he lowered his head to take her nipple into his mouth. Kagome whimpered, arching her back at the sensation that had her aching with need. He sucked gently, running his tongue over the sensitive tip as he did, making her moan and grip his hair even tighter. Bankotsu breathed heavily through his nose and reached behind her to unhook the bra, snatching it in his fist and throwing it onto the floor almost violently. He moved his mouth to her other breast and Kagome cried out as he bit the nipple before running his tongue across it soothingly.

This. This is what she lived for. Encounters like this one. No emotions, no attachments, no risk of being hurt in the process; Just sex. It was something that someone like her needed. Intercourse provided the only remedy to the numbness that had taken hold of her soul for the last few years. It was the only thing that made her feel alive again. Her friends couldn't understand. Nobody could. She doubted anyone ever would. She didn't care. She didn't need to explain her actions to anyone. She just wanted to feel good. And right now, with this stranger running his hands and mouth over every inch of her body, warming her from the outside, in with want and desire, she felt very good.

Bankotsu hooked his fingers through her panties, pulling the fabric down. Kagome lifted her hips, letting him tug them off completely. She watched him as he sat back, his eyes looking over her completely nude form. Kagome bit her bottom lip, raising her hands above her head as she laid there, letting him look her over. He took hold of his length that she had yet to observe, running his hand up and down the appendage. He licked his lips before meeting her eyes.

"Stop me now if you don't want to go further," he breathed.

Kagome was honestly surprised at the gesture. After how far they'd already gotten, did he really think she would change her mind? In the back of her mind, she knew he was being kind, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She sat up, taking hold of him firmly in her tiny hand, leaning forward to flick her tongue across the tip. Her eyes looked up into his as she did it again, slower this time. He winced, though not in pain, and his thighs twitching at her touch.

"Still want to stop?" she whispered.

Kagome managed to sneak out of Bankotsu's apartment before he woke up. She thanked heaven that the man was a heavy sleeper. That, or the alcohol is kicking his ass. She had managed to dress, gather her purse and make herself presentable without him even stirring from his position on the bed. She had only looked back once, taking in his naked form, peacefully sleeping as she left. She made a mental note to have herself tested later that week. Bankotsu hadn't used protection, but at the time she hadn't cared. She was on the pill, and disease was the furthest thing from her mind when she had slept with him.

She was walking down the bright street, ignoring the knowing looks of people around her as she made her way home on foot in the clothes she had been wearing the night before. She had made sure her hair and makeup were in order before she left, but even strangers knew a walk of shame when they saw one.

Except she felt no shame.

Kagome didn't know these people. What did she have to be ashamed of? She wasn't doing anything wrong. She had sex. So what? Everyone did it. Why did it matter who she chose to do it with? She held her head high as she went, not bothering to meet the eyes of those that stared.

The smell of coffee and sweets reached her nose and Kagome almost smiled at the sight of her favorite café up ahead. She opened up her purse, checking to make sure she still had her debit card before she crossed the street quickly. After those beers last night, she was in desperate need of strong coffee and perhaps a Danish if they were fresh.

Outside the tiny café were three tables with lovely green-striped umbrellas. Knowing that the inside was rather small and cramped, she decided to take a seat outside, setting her purse on the black iron chair beside her. The place was on the corner of the street, its two outside walls made up of large windows and a glass door so that those outside could see everything inside and vice versa. Kagome was looking inside the building from her seat in search of a waiter to take her order. That was when she saw him.

Kagome felt her mouth dry at the sight of him. His back was to her, but she would recognize that head of black, silky hair and those broad, sturdy shoulders anywhere. She watched him to his right and stare down at a female next to him. Kagome's stomach wrenched at the sight of his face. His pale skin, his beautiful violet eyes, those soft, smiling lips- a face that had haunted her dreams for months now. Miroku... She didn't want to look away from it, knowing that looking at the woman beside him would only hurt her more, but she couldn't help it.

Her eyes drifted slowly to the tall, lithe female at his side. She was beautiful with her long, straight brown hair and warm, chocolate eyes. Even from outside, she could see her long black eyelashes and her plump, pouted lips. She had perfect, lightly tanned skin and she was beautifully built. She was wearing a white sun dress that ended at her knees, showing off her long, delicately muscled legs. She was wearing pink strappy sandals and Kagome frowned in confusion at the sight of her slightly swollen-looking feet... until she turned to lift a hand and hold it to Miroku's cheek. Kagome's eyes dropped to the woman's round, perky belly and what was left of her heart shattered.

"Can I take your order, ma'am?"

Kagome jumped at the sound of the waitress beside her. She looked up at the moment through tear-glazed eyes, unable to make out what she looked like. Kagome jumped to her feet, slightly stumbling on her dangerously high heels before she took off in a sprint away from the café, almost leaving her purse behind. She needed to get away from there. Away from him.

Kagome stood in her shower, letting the hot water run over her. She stared blankly at the floor of her tub, breathing shallowly through her mouth, ignoring the water that was dripping from her lashes, warping her vision. She didn't move to grab her body wash or shampoo, she simply stood, allowing the water and steam to surround her. She did her best to keep her mind blank, but her mind wouldn't rest. Visions, voices, memories, they all danced around her head, mocking her. She closed her eyes tightly, lowering herself to sit on the floor of the tub, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"I love you so much, Kagome."

"I'll never leave you."

"Marry me."

"I want to start a family."

"...There's someone else."

Kagome let out a choked sob and rested her forehead against her knees, rocking gently where she sat. No matter what she did, she couldn't block him out. Couldn't forget. Couldn't forgive. She couldn't stand the thought of him. She had been doing so well, at avoiding her emotions, but he just had to show up. She held herself tightly, trying to ignore the pain in her chest. She never wanted to feel this. She never wanted to know just how much he had damaged her. But all at once, it was hitting her like a ton of bricks.

I need a drink. I just need... to get out of here and get a drink.

She vaguely remembered that it wasn't even a decent hour to go to her usual bar, but she didn't mind driving a little further than usual today. She needed something different. She needed desperately to forget.

Kagome sat in a booth by herself. This place was nothing like the quiet, intimate bars that she usually went to. This place was loud, the bass from the speakers thrumming through the walls and the tables. There were bodies everywhere, moving to the music, standing against walls, stumbling around in drunken bliss. The smell of sweat and alcohol was thick in the air, and Kagome found herself regretting this decision. She looked down at her glass and the sweet, blue-colored liquid that was inside it. She was momentarily mesmerized by the ripples in the liquid as the bass picked up tempo, before a claw-tipped hand entered her line of sight.

Kagome tensed, her eyes slowly traveling up the long fingers, to the hand that was pressed flat against the table, to the muscled forearm that was dusted lightly with what appeared to be white hairs. Her eyes squinted a bit in confusion before she finally lifted her gaze up to the owner of the arm and almost lost her breath. A demon... Kagome was staring up into wide, gold-colored eyes that smiled kindly at her from where he stood. He smiled gently at her, but Kagome could only focus on the mass of silver-white hair that covered his head and surrounded him, falling to his waist. She was about to speak when she took notice of the two canine ears that sat atop his head and she almost gasped aloud. No, not a demon. Half-demon. He seemed to notice where she was looking and his smile faltered before he leaned down.

"I've never seen you around here before," he said loudly so that she could hear him over the music. Kagome pulled back to look at him, at how close he was to her, and she could see the tips of his fangs poking out from between his lips.

"That's because I've never been here before," Kagome said back, knowing that she wouldn't need to speak anywhere near as loudly for him to hear her. "The noise doesn't bother you?"

The male shook his head before he held out a hand to her. She took it, a gentle tingle of his youki running across her palm as their skin met. She couldn't help but smile up at him as she shook his hand.

"I'm Inuyasha," he said to her, his smile widening.

"Kagome."

They were standing outside the club, leaning against the brick wall in comfortable silence. Kagome had done most of her usual tricks, but Inuyasha didn't seem to fall for any of it. He kept the conversation friendly, and when they danced, he kept it painfully platonic. The man wouldn't even drink, saying it was pointless, and that his demon blood would require a lot more alcohol than he was willing to pay for in order for him to feel anything. Kagome was becoming frustrated. Why had he even approached her if he didn't want to sleep with her? Kagome folded her arms across her abdomen, watching as a car sped down the road in front of them, the sound of its engine breaking the silence they had created. Despite the fact that she obviously wasn't going to go home with this man tonight, she couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that she had actually had a decent time.

"What made you come out here tonight?" he asked her after a few more minutes of silence.

Kagome looked over at him. He was staring up at the sky thoughtfully, his hands behind his back as he leaned on the wall. Kagome was once again struck by how handsome he was. Everything about him from his silver hair to his casual attire was drawing her in and it was terrifying. She hadn't felt anything beyond physical attraction to anyone in such a long time...

"Just wanted to try something new," Kagome said offhandedly. "You come here pretty often, huh?"

"Embarrassing, I know," he said with a nervous smile. "I just come here to get away from real life. I usually keep to myself, there aren't many who are comfortable around, well, someone like me."

Kagome bit her lip and her eyes went immediately to the ears atop his head that twitched in her direction. She couldn't help but reach a hand out toward him, hesitating for a moment when his eyes warily watched her hand. Tentatively, her fingertips touched the velvety softness. She noticed that they stood erect at the contact before they lowered slowly, relaxing. Kagome smiled and giggled, pulling her hand back and looking into his eyes. There was a flush on his cheeks that she could barely see in the dim lighting of the street lights.

"If you usually keep to yourself, why did you talk to me?" she asked curiously.

Inuyasha studied her for a moment before he took up his previous position, leaning against the wall and staring up into the night sky. Kagome got the feeling she was being brushed off and was about to say so when he finally spoke.

"You seemed out-of-place," he told her. "All of these people, they come in groups to places like this, or at least with a friend. Not you, though. You were alone. I thought perhaps you were waiting on someone, but you were just sitting by yourself. Like me."

Kagome stared at him, even though he was not looking back at her. She had never met someone like him. She'd seen plenty of hanyou before, but she had never actually talked to one. And never had one actually talked to her. Inuyasha was not like the men that she usually attracted. He was very observant, and he didn't seem to want to seduce her. If he does, he isn't very good at it. He was achingly innocent, and Kagome couldn't help but like him. It was for that reason alone that she found herself needing to escape.

"I should get going," she said, pushing away from the wall and turning to face him.

He frowned, moving to stand closer to her. She could see him struggling with something before he reached out and took her hand, the blush very visible on his cheeks this time.

"I would really like to see you again, Kagome," he said softly.

Kagome looked down at the clawed hand that held her own, plain human one so delicately. Her eyes lifted up to his, searching through their amber depths with something akin to confusion. Her hand was limp in his, but she made no move to pull it away. She was at odds with herself. A part of her would very much like to see this Inuyasha again, and another, stronger part told her to run and never look back. His eyes were hopeful, though the light dimmed a bit when she didn't respond. Just as he started to pull his hand away, she clasped his fingers with her own, stopping him.

"Why?" she finally asked him. He smirked and cocked his head to the side in an adorable, endearing way.

"Why not?"

A/N: I was inspired for this story after reading Jared Singer's poem An Entomologist's Last Love Letter. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. I just had to get this story out of my system while it was still fresh, and I had to share it with you all. I'll update as soon as I can. Toodles!

-sesshylovr