A/N: Hello all! I apologise for the wait - but a huge thank you to all the lovely readers and reviewers! I really appreciate your time and comments~ :)

"Oh...dear."

Hades looked from one whey-faced war deity to the other.

"Ohhhhh, dear."

"I think we get the point, Lord Hades," Athena muttered tersely through her teeth.

Ares was still shell-shocked, staring down at the ring that was as impossible to remove as if it had been branded on. He alternated between throwing his choicest swear words viciously at the Fates (who had scuttled off somewhere), and attempting to tear the offending band of gold off his finger.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" He exploded with frustration, ripped his sword from its scabbard. "Can't they reverse it?! Where did those Tartarus-damned old hags get too, anyway?!"

Somewhere in the distance there was a faint screech. "Old?! Hags?!"

Ares whipped around in an instant and sprinted off in that direction, roaring and brandishing his sword.

Hades stared after him for a moment, before turning back to his niece. Athena was sighing. Her face was very pale, and she stood with her arms folded across her chest, gripping her spear so tightly Hades was surprised she hadn't snapped it in half already. Or driven it into Ares' heart.

"I'm sorry, Athena." Hades spread his palms out helplessly. "The Styx may be in my domain, but I have no power to nullify the oaths or vows sworn and sealed upon it."

The goddess drew in a deep breath. "I know that."

There was an awkward pause.

"I...er, well. Truth be told - I don't know what to say. I mean, this sort of thing...accidents like these..." Hades glanced at her sideways. "You do know that Zeus is going to tear the skies down when he hears? You know how he dotes on you...but Ares -"

"Yes. I know." Athena pressed her palm painfully to her forehead. She really didn't want to think about Zeus and the Tartarus-raising wrath that would soon fall upon them when he found out. "We have to go back to Olympus, though, and ask him to dissolve the bond."

Hades said nothing, though he knew - and knew that Athena knew - there was little even Zeus could do, if the rings had been sealed in the Styx. There were laws and rules for dissolving Styxian contracts, which were almost impossible to bend or bypass. But then again there were also rules for those who took the Maiden Vow, also sworn on the River Styx. Hades hadn't forgotten that Athena was one of the three Virgin Goddesses, and it was obvious that she hadn't either. According the laws invoked by the Styx, should Athena's break her vow, she would suffer a terrible, terrible punishment. And yet, she had not technically violated the terms of her oath, because she was still a maiden - albeit a married one, now. Would one Styxian vow cancel out another? Hades had no idea. Nothing like this had ever happened before.

And what of Ares? It was well known that there was nothing the two war deities despised more in the world than each other. Throw those two together for too extended a period of time and Hades didn't doubt that they might blow Olympus to pieces in a heated feud, if they didn't kill one another first. Despite her stony demeanour, Hades could see the haunted look in Athena's eyes, troubled and darkened to nearly black, with what could only be described as deep despair.

Well, let her seek what comfort she could from appealing to Zeus and trying every avenue of escape. At least she could tell herself that she tried.

A shout rang through the still air of the Underworld, making both Hades and Athena turn. Further along the bank, four odd figures appeared - the Fates shuffling along faster than anyone might think possible of three wizened old ladies - with Ares in hot pursuit.

"Get back here, you cursed hags!" he bellowed.

"I would be much obliged if you didn't use that sort of language in front of me," said Hades mildly. After all, having spent so much of his lonely pre-marriage life with the Moirae, he was rather fond of the old ladies.

Ares stopped in his tracks, turning upon the King of the Underworld with a livid expression.

"Tell them to get rid of these!" He waved his hand in front of Hades.

"We've told you before - we can't!" Clothos spat, stomping one tiny foot on the ground.

"Though it's not like we want to," muttered Atropos aside.

"Really, dear, you two do make such a lovely couple. You should be happy you've managed to get yourself such a kind, beautiful wife," Lachesis attempted a benign smile, turning to Athena. "And you won't find a more capable husband in bed than Ares, or so Aphrodite tells me -"

"- excuse me?! What part of Maiden Goddess do you not understand?!" Athena rapidly turned a deep shade of crimson and rounded on the Moirae, bristling.

"Kind? Beautiful?" Ares howled. "She's like a sexually frustrated harpy who - MMFFF"

Athena had punched him in the face, which was unlike her. Usually, she didn't resort to violence unless Ares was the one who struck first. "WHAT did you just call me?!"

"YOU'RE A TOTAL HARPY PRUDE - GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!" Ares bellowed, levelling his sword at Athena.

"I AM NOT SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!"

"THEN YOU'RE ASEXUAL!"

"I AM NOT – Oh, for Zeus' sake, Ares, in this situation you have no right to lose your temper – this was all your damned fault in the first place, Ares, you should have listened to us and not touched the damn rings - " Athena ducked his swing with practised ease and brought her spear up to block his next attack. The frail thread that her patience had been stretched to finally snapped. "WILL YOU STOP SWINGING THAT BLOODY THING AT ME BEFORE I SKEWER YOU WITH MY SPEAR AND TURN YOU INTO A SPIT ROAST!"

Lightning crackled along the tip of Athena's spear. Ares drew back, wary. It was imbued with the power of Zeus' thunderbolt, for Athena was the only one allowed to share Zeus' weapons and shield. In their normal fights, she rarely used the lightning, out of courtesy for fairness. But it was one of the reasons why Ares would never be able to defeat her, as long as she carried that spear.

Cautiously, Ares lowered his blade, and Athena did the same. The air was heavy with the anger of both gods. When Athena spoke again, her voice was low and furious.

"Is this is some sort of joke to you, Ares? What do you think Zeus will do when he finds out? We'll be lucky if he doesn't consign us to Tartarus for the rest of eternity -"

"Oh, so you think I relish the idea of being married to you?!" Ares hurled his sword to the side and threw his arms in the air, dark eyes blazing madly. "Why isn't it Lachesis' damn fault - she was the one who accidentally chucked them out into the river in the first place - I was just trying to help and this is what I get?!"

He paused briefly to take a breath, before continuing to fume. "For your information, Athena, I happen to have a life, too, and trust me - I did not, and do not, under any circumstances, intend to spend the rest of it tied to you. You think you're doomed? Who the hell do you think you are? You really think Zeus is going to send his little princess to Tartarus? If anyone is getting sent to that hellhole, it - is - going - to - be - me!"

He glared at Athena. She glared right back. He summoned his sword back into his outstretched hand, and in response, she raised her spear.

Hades cleared his throat. "Uh, I think the chariots are ready."

There was silence for a few seconds before Athena bit her lip and relented, shoulders sagging a little. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience we've caused you, Lord Hades." She paused, lifting her chin to gaze squarely at Ares.

"And...I apologise also, Ares, for losing my temper with you. You're right - you were just trying to help. It was hypocritical of me to let my emotions get the better of me when I know my constant lectures about curbing your own temper are extremely vexing to you." The war god stared at her with something like surprise for a moment, then glanced at Hades, and slid his sword back into its scabbard with a wordless scowl.

Hades glanced over at the Fates, who looked innocently back at him. He sighed. Tartarus knew how much smooth-talking and Zeus-placating he'd have to do on behalf of them with this particular incident. That is, if Zeus didn't smite them all, the moment they broke the news to him.

He sighed and gestured at Charon, who had been waiting silently all this time by the river bank.

"I'll call Persephone. We should probably all be there for this."

...

Behold, Hera thought, casting her gaze around the magnificent Olympian Council Hall. The majestic and almighty gods and goddesses of Olympus.

Seated on her left, Poseidon let out a loud snore and promptly choked.

"SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS!" he roared, jerking awake.

"...has obviously been a severe transgression of our – what?" Zeus stopped mid-sentence, turning to stare at his brother with confusion.

"Uh...nothing." Poseidon smiled sheepishly and settled back down. Within a few moments, his eyes had drooped and his chin dropped onto his chest.

Hera sighed.

Opposite the rather ostensibly nodding-off sea god, Apollo and Artemis appeared to be having an entire conversation across the Hall in stares. (It must be a twin thing, Hera decided). Further down the semi-circular arc of thrones, Aphrodite was apathetically studying her nails. Next to Ares' empty seat, Hephaestus, at the end of the row, appeared to be in the process of piecing together a chariot frame, as though he was still in his forge, and not in the Council Hall of the Olympus. Dionysus wasn't even conscious, his slumped form barely visible over Hermes, who was hovering several inches above his seat for no apparent reason.

Demeter, it seemed, was at least making an effort to look like she was paying attention, though her bright green eyes had been glazed over for the last ten minutes of Zeus' monologue. In fact, the only one in the room who seemed to be actually listening to their King blather on and on about some swindling priest from Thebes who'd stolen a month's worth of offerings at one of the temples – was Hestia, seated in silence by the hearth that crackled away merrily to the side of the Council Hall.

Yes, thought Hera, it really was just another ordinary morning on Olympus.

Just another day of listening to Zeus say-much-and-do-little about the usual troubles of the world below. The same mortals in the same quandaries, the same the same heroes that needed assisting, the same enemies that needed vanquishing, the same monsters that needed slaying.

Tartarus, I'm bored, thought Hera. I wish something interesting would happen.

Suddenly, Hermes shot up, waving his caduceus. Zeus broke off mid-sentence and stared.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Lord Zeus, but I've just sensed Lady Athena and Lord Ares passing through the gates – "

"That's all very well and good, but you didn't have to interrupt just to tell us that," Zeus cut in irritably.

"But – they're not alone." Hermes' youthful face carried a mixture of confusion and concern. "Lord Hades, Lady Persephone...and the Moirae – were with them."

At that, every one of the Olympians seemed to snap out of their stupor. Even Dionysus was roused, massaging the side of his head and rubbing his eyes groggily. A wave of murmurs rose through the room.

"The Moirae?" Hera asked sharply.

"What is Lord Hades doing here at this time of the year? Spring isn't until three weeks away – surely he can't be bringing Persephone to us so early? Unless something's wrong?" Demeter sat up, a quaver in her voice as she spoke her daughter's name. "Or did Athena and Ares offend him somehow?"

"And the Moirae?" Hera asked again.

"The Fates never leave their abode," began Zeus, "unless it is a matter of – "

The doors to the Council Hall burst open, and all pairs of eyes turned to watched Hades and Persephone enter arm-in-arm, followed by the three shuffling, stooped figures of the Moirae, and finally Athena and Ares, who were strangely ashen-faced, both their expressions showing all kinds of terrible emotion. The murmurs in the room rose one more as Hades stepped forward, clearing his throat.

"Greetings to all. I know it's a little early for you to be seeing me outside of the Underworld, but I am not here today to deliver Persephone to you, though I have brought her. No," he hesitated, as if debating how to continue. "We are here on quite a different business..."

Hades trailed off, looking intensely uncomfortable, which was even more disquieting. The silence dragged on for a few more agonising moments.

"I don't know quite how to put this...so perhaps you should just see for yourselves," said Hades finally, gesturing to Ares, who averted his eyes, and Athena, whose cheeks coloured deeply. The two of them seemed uncharacteristically shy, if that was the right word, lingering about in Hades' shadow.

The silence dragged on.

Hera stared from Athena to Ares, to Hades, Persephone, the Fates, then back. None of them were meeting Zeus' eyes directly – even Athena, who appeared to be staring at some point over his shoulder.

"Athena?" Zeus said uneasily. "Did something go wrong with the task I sent you on?"

Slowly, very slowly, Athena reached for Ares, taking him by the wrist and leading him out from behind Hades and Persephone to stand before Zeus.

"We did retrieve your rings, Lord Zeus," she began, somehow able to miraculously speak though her expression was troubled beyond words. "Although, they are...perhaps – "

She swallowed, and then held up Ares' hand, as well as her own.

Hera stared down at their outstretched fingers. She felt herself suddenly go cold, stomach plummeting to her feet. She heard several others gasp, and saw through the corner of her eyes Demeter clapping a hand over her mouth. It seemed to take everyone a moment to register the two winking golden bands on the fourth fingers of both deities' left hands.

"...they are perhaps..." continued Athena in a strangled voice, "...not so much your rings – as ours."

Silence.

All right, was the first thing Hera could think. Perhaps this is a little too interesting.

As a soft thump! from beside her, she turned to see her husband keeled over like he'd just been struck by one of his own lightning bolts.

Zeus had fainted.

Then, all hell broke loose.

...

"He's dead!" Demeter was shrieking. Her voice seemed to come from very far away, to Zeus.

"Gods cannot die, Demeter." Hades' calm voice drifted towards him. "He's just passed out."

"I tell you – the shock must have stopped his heart!"

"Nonsense!"

"Athena – how could you do this to your own father?!"

"Oh, for goodness' sake, Demeter – calm down."

"– I mean, I expected something like this from Ares – but – you, Athena?!"

"Shut up, Demeter! Didn't they already say it was an accident?!"

"Thank you, Artemis."

"Accident, my foot. I always knew there was something fishy going on with those two."

"WHAT?!"

"Mother!"

"Don't you take that tone with me, Persephone! This is just perfect, isn't it – the heavens are about to wreak doom upon the mortal realm, the gates of Tartarus are going to open, the Titans will return and pound us all to dust –"

"Demeter, I assure you, the gates of Tartarus are well sealed – "

"And what will we do now without our King?!"

"Hey, well...I'm the second oldest, so technically..."

"...don't you dare, Poseidon."

"Well, if Zeus is dead –"

"LIKE I KEEP SAYING, HE IS NOT DEAD."

Zeus moaned, trying to open his eyes. There was silence, before he everyone started to clamour again.

"Give him some space – step back, give him room to breathe, for Tartarus' sake – see, what did I tell you, Demeter?"

Zeus' eyes fluttered open. The exquisite ceiling fresco greeted his blurred vision. He felt cold marble pressing against his back. Apollo's face appeared over him. Then Hera's, furrowed with concern. He felt a hand on his forehead.

"He's awake," announced the healing god. "Hestia – the ambrosia, if you please? I don't know how long it will take him to regain his senses, since it's his first time."

"Athene – Athena –" Zeus mumbled, attempting to sit up, only for Hera to push him gently back down. "Athena – where is she? I want to see her – where is my grey-eyed darling?"

Zeus heard a snigger, and someone, it sounded like Dionysus, whispered, "He still calls you tha – ow! You didn't have to punch me, Athena!"

Athena's face came into view above him, cheeks flushed bright red. He reached for her, feeling her strong, warm hand close around his own.

"Ah, my beloved child – I had a strange, strange dream – a terrible dream, in fact."

Athena's eyes were looking everywhere but at him. "I-is that so, Lord Zeus?"

"Yes. I dreamt that you and that scumbag Ares had taken a Styxian vow and gotten married. Isn't that terrible?" As he spoke, Zeus felt his strength slowly returning. His mind was not so fuzzy now.

"That – was not a dream, Lord Zeus," Athena muttered, barely audible.

There was a pause, before Zeus spoke again.

"Is that so?"

"...Yes."

Another pause. The others had fallen silent, as well. A near-tangible tension had settled in the room, as all of them waited warily for Zeus to explode into a frothing fit and rain havoc upon the Earth. Hermes, Dionysus, Aphrodite and Demeter were already sheltering behind a pillar, should Zeus start launching projectiles. The last time he'd flown into a rage in the Council Hall, he had picked up all the thrones in his wrath and hurled them one by one at them. Dionysus still had the scar on his temple where the edge of Poseidon's throne had clipped him during that incident.

"Hera?" He said finally, his tone oddly businesslike. Somehow, his calmness was infinitely more terrifying than if he had burst into a rampage.

"Yes?" Hera seemed surprised to be addressed.

"Where is Ares? And the Moirae?"

"All...still here," replied Hera cautiously.

"Good. Restrain them and bring them forward." Zeus pulled himself to his feet. "Athena?"

"Yes, my lord?" His daughter regarded him cautiously, keeping her distance as if expecting Zeus to strike her at any moment.

"Fetch my thunderbolt."

The goddess froze.

"...Might – might I be so bold as to ask why, my lord?"

There was a terrifying pause, in which everyone seemed to be holding their breath, before Zeus replied unblinkingly.

"Because, my dearest child – I am going to kill them."

...

It was very simple, really, Zeus thought, oblivious to the chaos around him.

It was not that he wasn't angry. He was, in fact, unspeakably furious. No, he was beyond that. He was so furious, even he had no idea what it would make him do now. But Zeus felt all of this only dimly, as if he had partitioned all his rage behind a wall, where it was steadily building up, increasing in pressure. His mind was unexpectedly clear. He knew exactly what he wanted – what he felt he ought to and must do, to protect the most precious of his offspring.

No doubt, the other Olympians were surprised that he hadn't already thrown a fit and torn up half of Olympus, like he normally did to let off steam. Well, no matter. There was no need to bow down to their expectations, to make a show of it.

They were already doing a pretty good job of that themselves, thought Zeus. The minute he'd said it, the Council Hall was once again thrown into uproar.

"YOU DAMN OLD MAN," Ares bellowed, drawing his sword despite Athena's futile attempts to drag it away from his hands.

"You moron, that's not going to help!" she yelled.

Meanwhile, Hera had taken a vice-like grip on Zeus' arm. "In case you might have forgotten, dear, Ares is your SON."

"I don't care! I hate him the most!" Zeus roared, his temper snapping, as if triggered by Ares.

"Besides which, you can't kill the Moirae," muttered Hestia from his other side. "They are beyond your jurisdiction."

"Exactly!" Clothos crowed, from where she and her sisters had retreated behind a pillar, before shrinking back almost immediately.

"DON'T – GIVE – A – DAMN!"

"Brother, you are being unreasonable here – " Hades took Zeus' other arm, attempting to restrain his brother from flying over to Ares in a rage and strangling him to death.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, HADES. I AM KING!"

"Yeah, Hades. He's King."

"You – shut up, Poseidon."

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! WHAT ARE YOU ALL STANDING THERE FOR, YOU USELESS BLOCKHEADS – SEIZE THEM!"

"Maybe we should leave," Hermes muttered to Apollo.

"LET GO OF ME, ATHENA! LET ME AT HIM!"

"Ares, will – you – just – calm – down! Artemis, could you help me hold his other arm?"

The two goddesses were trying desperately to hold the war god back. Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Dionysus Demeter and Persephone had long ago retreated to a far corner of the Council Hall, watching from the distance with a morbid kind of fascination.

"Zeus – will you just consider this rationally for a moment – "

"SHUT UP, HERA!"

"H – HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! I AM YOUR WIFE!"

"I AM KING!"

"IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS MINUTE, YOUR KINGLY SELF IS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR THE NEXT MILLENIUM, GOT THAT?!"

"I – AM – KING!"

Unfortunately, Zeus was beyond the point where words could reach him.

"Athena – do – something!" Artemis gasped, as Ares elbowed her in the stomach.

"Oh for goodness' sake – " Athena rolled her eyes as Ares squirmed in her headlock. "Artemis, hold him."

She let go of Ares and dropped abruptly to the floor.

"Please, Lord Zeus."

The chaos in the room stopped. Everyone, including Zeus, turned to stare. Because, for the first time in her life, Athena was on her knees.

"I'm begging you, Zeus, please, just this once, show mercy."

There was a brief silence, before the King of the Gods unexpectedly burst out into a roar of laughter that sounded vaguely hysterical. Hera and Hades edged away slightly.

"Silly child, I was going to obliterate them, not you."

His eyes widened as Athena bowed further, pressing her forward to the cold marble floor, speaking rapidly. Ares' eyes fixed on the back of her neck, pale white, exposed and bare. Vulnerable. Her voice trembled slightly, but its tone was firm.

"That is why I beseech you. Please, there must be some way to dissolve the bond. And if not – if you insist on punishment – then it is only fair that I have my share. If you will strike them down and consign them to Tartarus for all eternity, then I will likewise hold my out my own wrists to be shackled."

There was a further silence. Ares stared at his enemy. How many times had he imagined himself bringing her to her knees in defeat? And yet, here she was kissing the floor so that his life would be spared.

What the hell are you doing, Owlgirl?

"Athena." Zeus said, his voice barely above a whisper. He was no longer laughing. "Get up. That's an order."

The goddess of wisdom didn't move an inch.

Under any other circumstances, Ares would have found the situation amusing. Delightful, even, to see Athena reduced to kneeling on the floor like a slave begging her master. But for some reason, at this moment, he found himself growing severely agitated.

You idiot! You might be his favourite, but that doesn't mean he won't kill you!

Ares stepped forward, hand tightening around the hilt of his sword. Zeus' eyes had darkened rapidly. He drew himself to full height. His hand reached out, whether to strike Athena or to simply pull her up, no one would ever know – for in that moment, Ares acted.

Leaping forward, he looped an arm around Athena's waist and in one swift moment had slung her over his back like a sack of potatoes. The goddess was too surprised to even respond before he was halfway to the door, the Moirae behind him in a flash.

"GET THEM! DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE!" Zeus roared. The Olympians surged forward, half the deities trying to help them escape, the other half trying to stop them. Needless to say, everyone was screaming.

"Get them! Don't let them escape!" Demeter shrilled from where she was standing behind the pillar.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" Ares roared, kicking Hermes in the face.

"SEAL THE DOORS!" bellowed Poseidon. He charged towards Hades, brandishing his trident. The sea god's mind worked very simply. Something bad had happened. Hades was present. Hence, Hades was responsible.

"What in Tartarus are you coming at me for, you dolt?!" Hades roared, pushing Persephone quickly behind him.

"THAT'S MY DAUGHTER, BASTARD!" Demeter shrieked, bearing down like a vengeful harpy on Poseidon in all her fury.

"Put me down!" Athena shrieked, as Ares scaled the wall, and leapt over Hephaestus. "What are you doing, you insane idiot?!"

"In case you didn't notice, saving your life!" Ares roared, parrying a blow from Poseidon. He swore, his legs buckling as Poseidon battered him ruthlessly. "Dammit, how much do you eat, Olivehead?! You weigh more than a chariot made of lead!"

"Excuse me?! For your information, I am wearing several layers of armour here, which – LEFT SHOULDER, BLOCK!"

Ares swivelled rapidly, swinging his sword up to meet Dionysus' with a loud clang. "Thanks," he grunted, eyes glowing murderously. "By the way, where are the Fates?"

There was a cackle. "Right behind you, darling!" Clothos waggled her fingers, materialising at Ares' side, followed by Lachesis and Atropos.

"We'll be relying on you to protect us, dear," said Lachesis, patting his arm kindly.

Over his shoulder, Athena could be heard sighing. "Ares, I really don't think we should – INCOMING, ON YOUR FLANK!"

Ares twirled, sending Poseidon's trident clattering away with a mighty swipe of his blade.

"As I was saying, we should – TO YOUR RIGHT, PARRY!" Athena yelled. "LEFT! THRUST! BEHIND – SWING! FOLLOW THROUGH! MIND YOUR BLIND SPOT!"

Ares grunted with the effort as he alternately leapt, swung and thrust, twisting this way and that, inching ever so slowly towards the door. Poseidon, Dionysus, Hermes and Hephaestus were trying to stop him – Demeter and Hades seemed to be engaged in their own argument, Hera and Zeus were still screaming at each other, Hestia was sitting on the step beneath Zeus' throne, massaging her temples as though she had a headache. Aphrodite had withdrawn behind a pillar, and no one knew whose side Artemis and Apollo were on. They appeared to be just shooting everyone.

"Feint, Ares! Feint!" Athena was hollering in his ear.

"Tch. No way in hell!"

"You can't just attack him up front like that, you numbskull!"

"I can!"

"FEINT! FOR THE LOVE OF TARTARUS, FEINT!"

"STOP SCREAMING, WOMAN!"

"FEINT, YOU RIDICULOUS ASS!"

"I WILL NOT FEINT, DAMN YOU!"

Ares grunted as he evaded a fraction of a second too slow, the tip of Poseidon's trident grazing his shoulder.

"What did I tell you?! If you had just feinted like I told you –"

"AM I THE ONE FIGHTING HERE, OR WHAT?!"

"YOU STUBBORN FOOL! WHO ASKED YOU TO?! I HAD THE SITUATION WITH ZEUS UNDER CONTROL!"

"I'M SURE THAT'S WHY HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO TEAR YOU INTO PIECES WITH HIS BARE HANDS!"

"YOU – YOU IDIOT!"

"JUST GO DIE, YOU UNGRATEFUL HARPY!"

"PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU'RE RUNNING, PIGHEAD!"

The door was right in front of them. He had managed to clear a path through, it seemed. Ares glanced quickly over his shoulder to see Athena folding her arms, glaring at him from upside down. She might have looked comical had the situation been less outrageous, her face flushed from the blood that had rushed to her head.

"We're getting out of here, Princess, whether Zeus was about to kill you or not," he said seriously. The scowl dropped from Athena's face, her eyes widening with surprise.

"Hurry up, you hags!" Ares yelled at the Fates, scuttling along behind in the trail of destruction he'd left. He sent Hermes flying with a well-aimed kick, bursting out of the door into the sunlight. It was beautiful day on Olympus, despite the hell-raising that was going on in the Council Hall.

"SHUT UP, HERA! I AM DOING THIS FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF – "

"GREATER GOOD? GREATER GOOD?! I AM YOUR WIFE! I AM THE GREATEST GOOD THAT YOU, MISERABLE PIG, ARE EVER GOING TO GET – "

Zeus broke off abruptly mid-argument with Hera, having just realised that Ares, with his precious Athena hauled over his back and the Moirae close behind, had made it out the door and were hurtling down the steps of Olympus at breakneck speed.

"FOOLSSSSS!" Zeus roared at Poseidon, Hephaestus and Hermes, who had given up and were wearily nursing their injuries. "HE HAS KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER! AFTER THEM!"

"You go after them!" Poseidon snapped, picking up his trident, which had a few nasty dents in it. "This is insane!"

"You can't blame Ares, Zeus," fumed Hera. They watched as the small figures of Ares, Athena and the Moirae reached the chariots at the base of the stairs. "You were about to destroy them."

Zeus glared at his wife. "I was only going to kill that bastard Ares and the damned Moirae! So why in Tartarus did he take Athena?!"

"Well, it certainly didn't look like that, idiot husband of mine," snapped Hera. "You looked like you were about to break the girl's neck!"

"Nonsense!" Zeus barked. "I would not touch a hair on Athena's head, and all of you know that. I was simply going to pull her to her feet and talk some sense into her!"

"Then why Ares would snatch her off like that, if he hadn't thought you were about to reduce her to ashes and dust?" growled Hera, folding her arms.

Sitting beneath them, Hestia raised an eyebrow, muttering to herself with a smile.

"Why, indeed?"

...

Ares grunted as he dumped Athena rather unceremoniously on the chariot. The goddess of wisdom sprang up almost immediately and tried to slap him in the face. He caught her wrist, her palm inches from his cheek.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"How dare you sling me over your shoulder like that!"

"You – " Ares spluttered indignantly. "I saved you!" He jabbed a finger in her face.

"From what?!" Athena retorted.

Ares couldn't believe his ears. "Zeus was about to blow you to smithereens!"

"He was not!"

"How the hell do you know that?!"

"Well, how did you know he was, Ares? Didn't you say it yourself – he would gladly kill you, but he wouldn't hurt me!" Athena snapped.

"Then maybe I wasn't prepared to take that risk!" Ares yelled, slamming his sword into the ground.

Athena stared at him.

There was a silence. The blood rushed to his face as Ares realised the implications of what he'd blurted out a moment ago.

THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?!

"Uh – that is – don't take that the wrong way...I didn't mean it like that – I mean, we're – "

"Enemies?" Athena finished for him, her pale eyes boring into his. She was still staring at him steadily, her expression carefully, cautiously neutral.

"Uhm. Yeah."

"...huh." To his surprise she broke into the faintest, wry smile. "Enemies...yet married." She let out a small chuckle, though it sounded more like a noise of despair than amusement.

"Oh yeah." Ares scratched the back of his head. "That's kind of a problem still, isn't it?"

"That was very touching, dears. But you know what else is still kind of a problem~?" Lachesis' voice suddenly piped up from behind. Ares jumped, swearing loudly.

"Gods, are you hags are still here?!"

"We won't be getting anywhere without you," Atropos muttered. "None of us can drive."

"Are you serious?! This is a damned two-person chariot!" Ares glared at them.

"You forget Ares, that these three hardly ever leave the Underworld," said Athena, sighing.

"You may also be forgetting that we are still on Olympus – and therefore in danger of being blown into god-mince by the Lord of Psychopaths up there," Clothos grinned, pointing up. The sky had grown dark at an alarming rate, slate-grey thunderclouds gathering ominously above. There was no doubt that Zeus would be after them. Regardless of the imminent peril, Ares found himself in danger of another meltdown as the three ancient ladies scrambled into the chariot, beaming at him.

"Don't worry, we'll squish up so there's plenty of room!" said Lachesis.

"Are you just trying to get on my good side because this was all your damned fault in the first place?" Ares growled, picking up his sword and sheathing it. He really did have an overpowering urge to kick all three of their wrinkly backsides to the deepest pits of Tartarus. Damn Fates. No wonder only Hades liked them. He reached for the reins, but Athena was faster.

"I will be driving, this time," she said, eyes narrowing. Ares found his spine tingling uncomfortably. She was squashed up much closer than he was capable of dealing with. This chariot was too damn small for the five of them. Athena flicked the reins, waking the dozing horses.

"Take us to Nyx, grey-eyed one," ordered Atropos as they sped through the gates of Olympus, heading for the mortal realm. Athena furrowed her brow.

"Nyx? Why her?"

"She may be able to help you where we cannot," Clothos chorused, kicking Ares in the shin.

"T – TARTARUS, THAT HURT, YOU LITTLE – "

"Oh, don't worry, dear – Clothos only does that to people she likes!" chirped Lachesis, patting Ares on the arm.

"Then make her hate me!"

"You two are idiots." Atropos rolled her eyes.

"Troppie! How mean!"

"OW! AGAIN?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Nothing. I just enjoy the look of pain on your face."

"YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU?!"

"I highly suggest you put the sword away..."

"It's like Troppie says, Ares. I'm sure people have told you this before, but violence is not the answer."

"I don't want to hear that from you, damn hag!"

"My name is not Damn Hag, dear. It's Lachesis."

"Hyah!"

"WILL. YOU. STOP. KICKING. ME."

"Kekeke. Lies. This chariot is overcrowded. Your shin simply fell into the top of my foot."

"Don't mess around with me, Clothos – you even went 'Hyah!' as you did it!"

"So what?! I like making meaningless noises, foooool!"

"ATHENAAAA!"

"Oh, running off to the competent one, now, are we?"

"Olivehead, are you sure we can't throw these stinking hags overboard?"

Athena sighed. She could already feel the headache gathering, like the storm that brewed on the horizon before them.

A/N: Hope it wasn't too crazy and weird! ^^