It's gonna suck, I'm far from satisfied but I need to get this out of the way considering what I'm working with, here. Send in your words, guys. It starts out fine but get sloppier and even worse because I can't describe things for SHIT. It's also a two-parter. You're welcome.

Tori awoke lying on her stomach atop a soft surface to find out she was staring at a pair of knees. The legs they were attached to were partially covered by a semi-frilly-hemmed dress in a pastel pink color. A red pacifier dropped in front of them with slender hands following immediately to pick it up again. Tori followed the movements to reveal Cat Valentine sitting on her knees across from her with a small smile on her face before popping the binky in her mouth.

With a groan, the brunette lifted her head and upper body to find that she was also dressed similarly to Cat and that they were trapped in some kind of container – a playpen to be exact – with soft toys of all kinds, two blankets and a few pillows strewn about here and there. She stood up, letting out a very frustrated sigh. The playpen they were in was inside a dark pink room with butterflies scattered along the walls. Their prison mesh walls were just high enough so the girls could not just step over it as though it were a little hurdle. Tori's eyes widened at the dilemma.

"Cat," she said, her voice hesitant and soft, as she looked at the butterfly-infested walls, "Where are we? What's going on?"

"Goo!" came the response.

Tori quickly turned to face the redhead. Did she lose her mind? Or voice, or whatever?! Behind her companion was a wooden door painted white – the only exit visible in the room. Tori dropped to her knees and crawled over to Cat, removing the binky from the teenager's mouth. She wanted answers. With a high-pitched whine, Cat made a grab for the item and pouted when Tori held it out of her reach.

"I'll give it back when you start talking," Tori said, ignoring the obvious pun, "How did we get here and why? What's going on?"

"Sshh!" Cat hissed, "You have to talk like a baby or else Jade'll get mad..."

"Jade? Where is she? Why would Jade get mad if we don't talk like babies?"

"I don't know! Just give me it back!" the red-haired teenager moaned again, reaching for the pacifier. Tori still refused to hand it over, needing more answers than just the threat of an angry Jade. That, she could deal. This was a whole new bottle of milk.

There were of two things she was sure. One, Jade was playing a huge role in this somehow; and two, there was no way she was going to willingly talk like a baby. She was going to get to the bottom of this... bizarre-alternate-world-baby-thing no matter what.

"Gimme my binky!"

"No!"

"Fine!" Cat huffed, throwing a glare Tori's way before flinging herself on the floor of the playpen. She started to kick and scream and pound the mattress with the sides of her fists, wailing, "Mama! Tori's bein' a meanie!" over and over like a mantra.

In an act of desperation, Tori threw the red binky to Cat in hopes that she would quiet down so no one would be alerted. She didn't. A few seconds later, the white wooden door opened and in rushed a very worried-looking Beck and Jade. Tori's jaw unhinged slightly.

"Since when are you two dating again?" she shouted amidst Cat's tantrum.

"See?!" Jade yelled, glaring at Beck, "I told you I knew Cat would freak out!"

Without quipping back, Beck rolled his eyes, sighed and gently began to pull Tori away from Cat and Jade to the opposite end of the large playpen. Tori didn't bother to resist as he led her away, her eyes glued to Jade lowering the prison wall she was nearest and sitting on her knees to comfort a crying Cat.

Beck clearing his throat caught Tori's attention. She turned to face him, hoping he wasn't going to start spewing out baby talk and nonsense. Seeing Jade babying Cat was strange enough.

"Have we been a bad girl?" he asked, putting on a mock pout face, "You're supposed to play nice with Cat, Tori."

"Beck!" Tori hissed.

"What?"

"Don't tell me you're involved in this prank too?!" she continued, making sure to keep her voice low in case Jade heard her. This was going too far if even Beck was in on it! Cat mentioned nothing about him, so if she talked normally with him it had to be okay. "This acting game isn't funny anymore!"

Here the teenager bit his lip. Cat's cries were subsiding and that could only mean a little more trouble for him. "Tori..." he started, his voice in a low whisper, "It's not exactly a game but just play along, okay? Trust me, the sooner you succumb, the sooner she'll let you out."

Tori's brow furrowed, "Succumb to wha–"

"Whoa, where's your own pacifier, Tori?" he exclaimed suddenly.

"My own what?!" Tori squeaked. Seriously?! He was seriously doing this to her?! Beck grunted before going back to Jade's side, a sign Tori realized she would have to decipher.

She looked at her three friends on the other side of the playpen. With teary eyes and her binky back in her mouth, Cat peeked at Tori between ribbons of her red hair. Jade was patting her on the back but, as usual, didn't look happy; judging from the way the black-clad teenager was glaring at her, Tori had a sneaking suspicion it wasn't because she was being soft with Cat. Beck gently rubbed Jade's shoulders before whispering something in her ear that changed Jade's frown into her signature smirk.

"So you were just being mean to Cat because you were cranky," she cooed, standing up and stepping over Cat's legs to get to Tori, "If you just called for me, Mommy would've made it better, Tori."

Mommy?! What?!

Tori stood up and glared at Jade as the latter closed in on her. This game was seriously not funny anymore. It never was. Who the hell did Jade West think she was, anyway? Treating her and Cat like babies and keeping them in a playpen with pacifiers! This was absurd! This was just... wrong and sick!

"Jade, what are you doing?!" she asked, "Why is Cat acting like a baby and why am I supposed to go along with this?! Is this some kind of sick mind game or a new way for you to torture me?"

Being at full height and yelling in Jade's face didn't seem to faze her in the slightest. Tori felt Jade's arm snake around her waist and reacted the same as any girl would. She relaxed, even if only slightly, and let her weight shift, watching as that smirk on the goth's face slowly morph into a genuine smile and, taking that as a cue, knew what was coming.

"Awh, does little Tori Vega need a diaper change?" Jade asked in that darn southern belle accent. Rolling her eyes at the words but not the tone in which they were spoken, Tori shook her head and sighed in defeat. Jade wasn't going to drop her act any time soon. She was always a great actress, almost never breaking character, but this piece had to cross a line somewhere.

Somebody help...! Trina! Andre! Even Robbie would do!

"Diapy!" she heard Cat giggle, her voice higher than usual, "Chan'e diapy! Daddy, chan'e diapy!"

Both brunettes glance over to Cat tugging at Beck's arm. A bit annoyed, Tori couldn't help but wish it was his precious hair or his private area Cat was yanking away at...

"Did Cat... uhm..." Beck cut himself off by coughing, presumably to buy himself some time (or to cover up his shame) which hinted to Tori that the Canadian probably didn't know what he was doing any more than she did. "... do a number two?"

"Poopy!" Cat cried, hitting the floor with her fists, "Chan'e diapy, dada!"

Abruptly the room became eerily quiet. Tori, even with Jade holding her, was starting to feel a little tired standing and slowly began to slip into a sitting position. Much to her surprise, Jade came down with her, even pressing Tori close to her before their rumps ever touched the mat. Tori closed her eyes. Jade West... being so careful with her? This was an extremely odd gesture, but far from unwelcomed. Now, if only she could be like that a little more...

"Well?" All eyes went to Jade.

"Well what?" asked Beck, trying in vain to stop Cat from pawing at him, "How am I doing?"

He was asking how he was doing? Why would he... of course! Internally Tori cheered. Beck didn't know what he was doing! He broke character! He didn't willingly consent to this baby game at all, just like she suspected earlier!

"She's dirty – go change her!" Jade said simply.

"Wha– but I don't know how to–"

"NOW!"

Everyone jumped at the volume of Jade's voice before Beck picked Cat up bridal style and whisked her away from the playpen prison, away from Tori and Jade. The only sane person she trusted in this bizarre-o world was gone to go change a teenage baby's diaper. Great. This left her alone with – and she shuddered at the name –

Mommy.

Yeah, yeah, we all know this sucks ass. I'm writing the next one in first person - two profiles. Yay. Get those confetti cannons ready.