Jack O'Neill was not a diplomat, by any stretch of the imagination. Just one more reason he was utterly perplexed at being promoted and given command of an entire base. He supposed though if he was doomed to fly a desk for the remainder of his career at least he was in a position to occasionally convince his superiors that it really was in earth's best interest, if he were to go off world in a diplomatic capacity. Of course his complete and utter joy at the prospect had little to do with diplomacy, and a whole lot to do with a certain blonde colonel, who after 8 years could still knock the wind out of him with the million watt smile she reserved just for him. Not that he could do anything about it. 8 years and somehow the regulations still stood in their way. On the bright side she finally dropped the loser cop. Jack shuddered at the mere thought.

Stepping through the gate usually isn't the most pleasant experience in the world, at least until you don't get to do it anymore. Shaking his head, Jack let out a grin as they stepped through to the other side. Looking up he caught the slightly puzzled look on Sam's face and let the grin split wider across his face. It was about a six mile hike into the village, and although his knees may not have been looking forward to it, the rest of him was, especially if it meant watching Carters six for the first time in several months.

"We should get a move on Sir." Carter strolled up next to him, weapon at ease, trying desperately not to match his grin. "The party should be getting started soon."

She started off ahead of him, Teal'c and Daniel at her flanks. "Sweet…Hey Carter?"

"Yes, sir?" she slowed her pace motioning the others ahead of her.

"Cake?"

"I may have mentioned it in passing to the women planning the festivities." Carted let out a giggle at his startled expression.

"Seriously?" Oh how I love this woman, and of course by that I mean that I respect her, you know, as my subordinate. Jesus I'm pathetic. "And colonel? What did I say about giggling?"

I can hear the drums from almost a full mile away from the village. From the reports, the natives of P8X-232 are a fairly advanced, if gregarious bunch, that seemed to enjoy having a festival for just about any excuse. In Jack's opinion their civilization was where he wished earth could be. The locals seem to be aware of the possibilities of science, but lack the ignorance of the Tauri. From what little Teal'c and Sam had told him they lived a simple rural life with some of the convenience of earth civilization. They were content to enjoy the simplicity of their lives.

"Umm, sir?" the tone of her voice makes me slow to a stop. She slows about 4 feet ahead of me, turning to face me. That twinkle in her eye makes me nervous, and well, downright uncomfortable in other areas of my anatomy.

"Carter?" The smile slips out now, like the Cheshire cat.

"There's something you should know, about tonight's festivities." Her smile just keeps growing and I just know, that I am not going to like where this is headed. She shoves my shoulder with hers and starts walking again, expecting me to follow, which of course I will, anywhere, anytime.

"Carter, for crying' out loud, spit it out."

"Well Sir, the um, the locals insisted." Well that does NOT sound like a good way to start this conversation. "They wish to 'pamper' their new allies, show us how much our friendship means to them. On the bright side, they're not Mongols, and their formal dress really is quite…..spectacular."

"I'm sorry, are you saying they intend to dress us for this occasion?"

"Actually sir, more than that. The whole nine yards. It'll be fine sir. And frankly after the Shavadai, if I'm ok with it, really anyone should be."

Carter:

The look on his face is priceless right now. Mostly because it has gone from looking a little panicked at the thought of the natives dressing him, let alone pampering him. Then at the mention of the Shavadai and my lovely experience with them (all sarcasm intended) his lip quirked up in this dirty little smirk. Either he thinks I don't know what that expression means, or he doesn't realize he's doing it. I vote for the latter. Either way it is nice to know I can still have that effect on him after all these years of pretending not to feel…feelings. It makes me all the more excited to see exactly how this night will play out. While this is jack's first trip here, I just spent the last two weeks with these people. And I may have, possibly, had a hand in suggesting that the general really should be present for the actual treaty signing.

I know him well enough to know he's been going stir crazy trapped behind a desk all day. Though I know he does still spend a good amount of time in the gym, either working out himself, or training younger officers. One of the many reasons I respects the hell out of him. What general takes time out of their already ridiculous schedule to get involved in training the SGC's new recruits? Just this one. I may also have some entirely selfish and wholly inappropriate reasons for wanting jack here.

It's been months since we both lost the not so significant, significant others from our lives, and months since my father died telling me not to let the rules stand in my way. And you know what's happened? Absolutely not a goddamned thing. How do you go about even starting that conversation after 8 years of subterfuge? I figure this little diplomatic mission might just do it. Assuming of course, that he's willing to bend the rules with me. A few butterflies let loose in my stomach at that thought, but I'm fairly certain he's been a gentleman all this time out of respect for me. And I'm hoping, once I make it abundantly clear that I wish to long jump over that godforsaken line, that he'll dive in with me. The fact that I can feel him watching my six from a few paces behind me certainly helps to bolster my confidence.

Jack:

The welcoming we receive is a little on the overwhelming side. We are pretty much swarmed by locals and I get the impression they are a rather touchy-feely bunch. There have to be at least a dozen different hands on my arms and back, and I'm pretty sure at least two have copped a feel at my ass. My fingers tighten around my P-90 as my personal space diminishes around me. Carter must sense my growing unease because before I can even think of losing my temper, Carters hand is sliding warmly over the hand gripping my weapon, squeezing firmly. After a few more seconds of holding my breath, the crowd finally parts, and Carter lets go of my hand before she can draw the attention of the others.

In the space that has parted stands a woman, whom Carter introduces as Kalia. I can tell just by the way the crowd parts around her that she is the leader. The locals have a blatant respect for this woman. Kalia is beautiful, with sparkling brown eyes and matching hair, high cheekbones and slightly pouty lips. Her smile is disarming, and if I weren't so obviously over my head with carter, I may have been inclined to try my luck.

Much to my complete surprise, Kalia steps forward and reaches out to offer me a firm handshake. At the surprised look on my face she shares a grin with Carter, who has stepped up next to me. "Samantha thought it best if I used a Tauri greeting. She thought you may be…..uncomfortable with our common greeting. At this she steps into carter's space and presses her cheek against carters, one hand sliding into the short strands at the base of her neck intimately. Definitely a touchy-feely crowd then.

"Grayson will be caring for you and the other male members of your tribe. He will take you now to prepare for tonight's festivities." At this a dimpled boy in his early twenties steps forward to lead us into the village. Before we get very far though, I turn back to make eye contact with my second. "And Colonel Carter?"

Another secretive smile passes between the two women, and frankly it's starting to make me think I am in very, very deep trouble. I don't even want to think what these two women would be capable of if they were to join forces. "Oh, Samantha and I will be well cared for. She has already chosen her attire for the evening."

I reluctantly follow Teal'c , trying not to dwell on the fact that Carter has selected an outfit for this evening, and by the way her and Kalia are acting like school girls, I have the feeling it just may be the death of me. We are guided along a path through several family dwellings into the center of the village, and before I know it we are being led into the softly lit hallways of what appears to be a town hall of sorts. The structure seems to have been designed specifically to host large Gala's. Sort of a reception hall meets bed and breakfast crossed with a spa. We pass a large room with several tables laid out banquet style, opening up into a large outdoor clearing .

The entire building is softly lit with plush carpeting and furniture, several large canvases lining the walls. Some appear to be portraits of Kalia and what I can only assume are her mate and children. Before long I find myself being in a secluded section of the building, a wide doorway blocked by thick hanging tapestries. "General, this is where your tribe will stay this evening. You however have been given private quarters, which I will show you once you have been prepared for the evening."

After dropping my gear beside Teal'c and Daniels Grayson leads me toward the back of the alcove. "And general, Samantha said you may not be entirely comfortable with the amount of attention you are about to receive, but Kalia has insisted upon it. It is our custom to treat guests as royalty and Kalia would have you experience the fullness of our culture for yourselves." Well I suppose it's kind of difficult to argue with that. Not very diplomatic to argue over something so trivial.

"Well, Carter does know me pretty well, and while she is correct in assuming I am not entirely comfortable…..when in Rome…" The look on the poor kids face is priceless. He is so perplexed he seems completely at a loss. Teal'c steps up to save the kid. "By that the general is merely stating that while visiting your world he will gladly take this opportunity to submerge himself in your culture." Teal'c bows and I can see Grayson's shoulders relax. I am now incredibly curious to find out what exactly Carter has told these people about me.

As I go through the process of bathing (thankfully I'm left to my own devices for this part) and a sandalwood scented steam sauna, I allow my mind to drift, attempting to conjure up a visual of this outfit Carter has picked out for herself. I don't get very far, before I realize that the possible side effects of that train of thought are not something I want to have to explain to my host. I almost draw the line at the manicure and pedicure, but in the interest of diplomacy, I begrudgingly let it slide. Besides I figure if a big manly Jaffa puts up with it, why should I protest?

Grayson approaches as I step out of the torture chambers and pulls me out of earshot of the rest of the others, leading me to a section of individual change rooms, curtained off. "Your men have already chosen their attire. Colonel Carter took the liberty of selecting yours for you." At this he opens one of the curtains and gently nudges me inside. "Oh and she supplied us with your dimensions, so they should fit adequately."

Before I even have a chance to wrap my brain around the fact that Carter picked me an outfit Grayson has pulled the curtain shut, and I'm left standing in front of a mirror looking back at my own dumbfounded expression. And there hanging before me is my outfit. That Carter chose for me. Carter, who happens to know my dimensions. Oh, boy. I am in so much trouble tonight. And is it incredibly weird to be so turned on by the fact that carter picked my clothing? Or just downright pathetic?

I definitely see nothing like underwear anywhere, and my own have been carted off to God knows where. When in Rome indeed. Dropping the towel like thing from around my hips, I grab the pair of pants. They are a dark chocolate brown, and as I lift them I look up into the reflective surface in front of me (although upon closer inspection, mirror doesn't seem to cut it, everything is softer, dulled down) I realize exactly why she chose this color. They are almost identical to the color of my eyes. As I slide the material up and over my hips I realize I wouldn't know what to call this material either. It's smooth to the touch, and oh man, does carter ever know my measurements. They fit like a glove, and looking back into the 'mirror', they really are quite flattering. Extremely low slung on my hips, and tighter than I would pick for myself, but otherwise, I actually kind of like them. Earth could actually learn a little about clothing design from these people. Wow, that was an incredibly manly thought right there, have to remember to keep my mouth shut about that one.

The 'shirt' seems a little skimpy for my liking, more of a flowy vest like thing than anything but similar in style to the one Grayson is wearing. Looking at it I am extremely grateful that I've doubled my gym and training time since flying a desk. It does not leave a lot to the imagination. I slide it on and do up the one single clasp, right below my navel. It's also sleeveless, though I notice a set of bracers set atop a pair of comfortable looking boots. Both are made from what I would call deer hide if we were on earth. I doubt they have deer here.

On the bright side, if my outfit is this revealing, then surely Carter's can't(can?) be much better. Sweet. It takes me a minute to figure out the boots, with Velcro like straps that wrap around crisscrossing up the ankles. The bracers, when I put them on have some kind of design carved into the leather. One looks like a tribal eagle and the other grizzly. There is no way their animal life is this similar to ours. Which makes me think Carter had a hand in designing these as well.

Grayson is waiting for me outside the curtain, a nervous smile on his lips as he appraises me. "I am pleased they fit. Do you like them?" the kid looks so hopeful that even if I hated them I'd be tempted to lie. "Surprisingly yes. And the boots are extremely comfortable."

The nervous smile turns into a wide beaming thing that takes up his whole face. Reading my confusion at his overreaction he shrugs. "I was responsible for preparing them for you. Kalia will be very pleased that you are happy. And they are a gift so I would be honored if you would take them with you when you return home."

"Well thank you for the gift Grayson, they certainly do feel as though they were made for me." I bounce on my heels, anxious to get this show on the road. And frankly to get out from under this kid's appraisal.

"Shall I return you to Samantha then? She seemed quite anxious to see your reaction, though I don't imagine she would admit to that freely." His knowing grin makes me do a double take. For his age he certainly seems well adept at reading people. In fact all of the locals I've met seem to be quite intuitive.

The kid leads me even further away from the main hall into a secluded hallway. At the end of the hall there is a thick curtain, blocking the only doorway in this entire section. At first I assume it to be Kalia's quarters, but when I step inside my gear is on the flood inside the curtain, and the sight before me knocks the breath right out of my lungs. I turn to thank Grayson before I embarrass myself further, but he is already gone, the curtain swaying slightly with his absence.

I turn back to face the woman before me. This woman cannot possibly be the Colonel Carter that I have worked side by side with for the past eight years. No, Grayson is right. It is Samantha standing before me, not a trace of colonel in sight. I start my slow perusal at her feet. Wrapped in sexy, strappy sandals that wrap up her legs to just below her calf muscle, which I can see clearly beneath the gauzy fabric of her pants. In fact the only part of her I can't see beneath the see through pants is covered by a pair of boy shorts in a striking teal color. I would almost assume they were hers to begin with, but the shape of them, coming up on the sides to frame her abs, is like nothing I've seen on earth. She is wearing a gauzy sleeveless shirt to match with a halter like bra thing, and a whole lot a cleavage, in the same shade as the boy shorts, reaching down the sides to meet them. I realize though that if I weren't looking so closely, the gauzy fabric really isn't that revealing. Whatever material it's made of seems to cast shadows inside Itself.

As I reach her throat, I realize I must have been staring a while, because her collarbones are crimson, a pretty blush rising up into her cheeks. As I finally reach her face though, I realize it's not from embarrassment. Her eyes are wide and shiny, lips parted, breathing heavier than normal. If I didn't know better I'd say she was aroused. I take a few steps forward and I'm pretty sure I can smell her.

"Wow is all I got Carter. I don't think we actually have words for that." I gesture vaguely from her head to her teal painted toenails. At the sound of my voice she seems to snap out of it, and now the beautiful flush along her cheeks is most certainly from embarrassment.

"Not so bad yourself Sir. Do you like the outfit?" I can tell she is trying really hard to sound like she doesn't care either way whether I like it or not. But by the way her breath hitches over her last word I can tell she really does care. She wants me to like it. "I do Carter. There is one thing though. How is it exactly that you know my measurements, let alone this well?"

Her eyes sparkle at me in response and her tongue darts out to wet her lips. "From many, many missions watching your six sir." At this she gives a long look up and down, swiping her tongue against her lips again as she pauses at my chest, taking her time before reaching my eyes again. There is suddenly cloudiness to her eyes that I have only ever seen once. In a locker room the first year we worked together. Oh God, is it getting hot in here? Before I have a chance to do anything I most certainly should not be doing, there is a knock outside the doorway.

"General, Samantha. The festivities are beginning. I would like to show you to your table before the feast begins. "He doesn't enter, but I can feel his presence just outside the door, waiting.

Sam seems to gain her bearings before I do, and me, well apparently she is Sam in my head all of a sudden. As she goes to walk past me though she pauses and runs a single digit from my collarbone down to my sternum. I grab her hand in mine, about two seconds from losing control altogether. I yank her towards me, my breath in her ear. "You are playing with fire Carter."

"Oh I am counting on it Sir." This comes out on a shudder, her body responding to my proximity. "But first we feast."