A/N: I almost didn't want to post this one, because this mean our adventure has come to a close! I've had a lot of fun writing this, and I can't believe it almost exactly took up the entirety of the school year! Grad school year one is over, and I only have one more semester left before graduation. Who knows what my schedule will be like, but I'd like to keep writing as much as possible!
Thank to everyone who read and commented, and I hope you continue to share your thoughts will me. Enjoy!
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Thirty: Mine
To Fai, love at first sight didn't exist. It was only a trick you played on yourself. You saw a person whose looks and air you liked, and if you and that person ended up together, you could claim from the very beginning you knew they were the one and that the very first impression of them attracted you. But how often in your life do you come across people who pause your heart for a moment? The passing stranger with a piercing gaze, the person who holds the door open for you and smiles sweetly, the one you see from a distance who looks so beautiful and faraway, the celebrity serenading you on the television, the man who brushes hands with you accidentally when he's walking, the woman splayed out on her back reading a novel on the beach. Ah, I would like this person to stop and speak with me, you think to yourself, but then you never see them again. Any one of them may have been your love at first sight if fate had worked differently, but they vanish from your life as if they had never entered it in the first place. All you want is a stranger to stop being a stranger at first sight; it's when they come into your life and stay there that you begin to fall in love.
No one had stayed in Fai's life at that point. He'd thought about it from time to time, how nice it would be if someone he really liked could be with him for more than just a passing moment, but he didn't hold out hope. There was a degree of confidence and bravery that went into loving someone, and though Fai acted like he had all the self-assurance in the world, he knew in his heart that it was all a facade. He was good at being a friend, but loving someone was something different. There was so much trust you had to place in both a lover and yourself, and Fai wasn't good at that kind of faith. It was much easier to assume that someone would leave you someday than it was to believe they would stay forever.
Everyone else was buzzing around him. A new transfer student. A hot new transfer student. Apparently, a few of the girls had caught a glimpse of him in one of the teacher's offices, where he was introducing himself. Horitsuba was the kind of school that stayed within the community, so pulling in students from the country was uncommon, and when it did happen, the Horitsuba students tended to be a bit snooty about how "unrefined" the outsiders were. This guy was apparently an exception. Fai was curious as well, but only mildly so. He was at an age where he was interested in first love, but he wasn't holding his breath that the new kid with the athletic scholarship would be his type and also gay to boot.
One of the teachers passed Fai in the hallway, carrying a handful of printouts. "Ah, Fai-kun, could you lend a hand?"
Fai accepted half the stack politely. He wasn't too curious, but if he could go to the faculty offices, he could at least get a peak at the new student and see what all the fuss was about. The girls he knew were picky and didn't compliment easily, so his expectations were high.
At first he only saw the back of his head. Not bad, he thought. A nice, muscular back. Expected for an athlete. He was slouched next to his new homeroom teacher, Aoki-sensei, going over paperwork, and at the angle he was sitting, it was impossible see his face from the back. Fai strained his neck to get a better look, but the new student wasn't moving an inch.
It was fine, though. He had to drop off the stack of papers on the desk, and that would make a noise loud enough to get anyone's attention. He threw them down with gusto, and angled his head so he could get a glimpse of the student from the corner of his eye. And sure enough, the handsome newbie turned to glance at him for just a moment. One swift glance of curiosity that lasted no more than a few seconds, so half-hearted that Fai wasn't sure he was being seen at all, only skimmed over.
But in those brief seconds, Fai caught a glimpse of crimson eyes and an unsmiling but very striking face. The new kid was attractive, but in a careless way. His uniform looked hastily thrown on and wrinkled, and from what Fai could see of his collar, his tie was partway undone around his neck. If Fai was being honest, he looked a bit pissed off, as if he was the kind of guy who had a resting bitch face and rarely smiled. It was nice, though. His upfront gaze was fearless and honest. From just that momentary glance, Fai was certain this guy wasn't like him. He wasn't a liar, and he wouldn't pretend to be happy when he wasn't; those kind of eyes didn't hide from the truth.
Aoki-sensei started talking again, and the new guy looked away. Fai kept looking at the back of him for a little bit longer, and then he too turned in the other direction. Oddly, what he felt was loneliness. The boy's eyes had passed over him, but they hadn't looked at him. He wanted to see himself reflected back in those startling eyes, shown by someone who lived openly without a second thought. Not for the first time, he thought to himself, Ah, I would like this person to stop and speak to me, but like all the other times, he didn't think anything would come of it. It rarely did. You couldn't have a thousand loves at first sight. Most strangers you met wouldn't ever become more than a stranger.
But why not this one, Fai thought to himself stubbornly. It could happen eventually, so why not now?
There was no reason to keep hanging around the teachers' office for any longer. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and turned to the door, and with one last lingering glance and fluttering heart left himself to wonder whether or not this would be the one time he was right.
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