It was two years after the war, and Ginny was out with her friends. They were to be gone the whole day, so Harry had dragged Hermione and Ron to admire his new computer.

He and Ron were chatting, while Hermione poked around on the new computer. She wasn't really paying attention, when something caught her eye: Read Harry Potter fanfiction.

"Guys, look at this," Hermione said. Ron had long since figured out computers, and both he and Harry scooted their chairs closer, saying, "What?"

"What's a fanfiction?" asked Ron.

"It's when you read a book or watch a movie or something and then write a story about it," said Hermione. "I used to write them all the time."

Ron contemplated this. "Muggles are weird."

"Well, let's see," said Harry, leaning over and clicking on the link.

There was a lot of different genres, but they were morbidly curious about the ones labeled 'Romance.'

The first one was about Harry and Ginny.

"No! I don't want to read this!" shouted Ron.

"Open it, Hermione."

The title was Quidditch and Flowers.

Harry caught the snitch quickly.

It had been quite a boring game, against Hufflepuff, and they were so far behind the Gryffindors didn't really try hard at all.

Harry smirked. Gryffindors would've tried hard anyway.

When Harry landed, he saw Ginny talking to Alicia, and couldn't help but hurry over.

"Hi Ginny," he said breathlessly.

"Hi, Harry," she answered, smiling. The sight of her perfect smile made his knees weak and his head spin.

"Wait, what?" protested Harry. "I do not swoon over girls' smiles!"

"They got you there, mate!" laughed Ron, punching his shoulder.

"Every time you saw Ginny for a month after you got engaged, you would get this weird dorky grin on your face," explained Hermione, chuckling.

"Can I talk to you?" asked Harry. "Alone?" he added, with a glance at Alicia.

Alicia smiled and left.

"Harry, what-"

"Ginny, I love you."

"What?"

"I love you with all my heart and soul. I would die for you. And if you say no to me now, I won't be able to live without you close."

Ron was hysterical with laughter, and Hermione had to stop to finish laughing. Harry was bright red and covering his face with his hands.

Ginny smiled at him.

"I love you too, Harry."

And then they kissed passionately, and when they had finished, they walked into the sunset, hand in hand, smelling like flowers.

END.

"Guys?" said Harry weakly. It was a lost cause. They were supporting each other, shaking with laughter.

"Fine!" cried Harry. He pulled the laptop to him. "I guess I'll just find one about you guys."

Harry began searching desperately for something to humiliate the two behind him.

"Aha!" he finally yelled. "I will be reading and you, Hermione, will be weeping."

She glanced at him disbelievingly.

"Can't be that bad," muttered Ron.

Hermione suddenly remembered that this was the official fanfiction website. She shuddered and grabbed Ron.

"Yes. It can."

Harry cleared his throat.

Animosity Machine

Hermione was thirsty.

"What does that have anything to do with anything?" asked Ron.

Harry smirked. "You'll see."

So she stepped into the nearest Muggle club. It was so dark she could barely see anything, and smoke obscured the rest of her vision.

Somebody tapped her on the shoulder.

"Granger?"

"Is it Malfoy?" guessed Ron.

"Nope."

"Um, McLaggen?"

"Nope."

"Crabbe? Goyle?"

"Harry, you aren't usually this sadistic. Is something wrong?" asked Hermione, trying desperately to escape her fate.

"I guess being on this site is bringing out the James Potter in me," said Harry merrily.

"Just keep reading. I can take it," said Ron. "I can take some scumbag trying to sleep with my girlfriend, just as long as she curses them."

It was a woman with a strangely familiar voice. Hermione could make out glasses and stiff curls.

Hermione closed her eyes and bit her lip. Ron leaned forward, looking worried.

"Um, do I know you?"

The woman relaxed.

"You did."

"Oh. Hi."

Ron burst out laughing. The other two looked at him oddly.

"Sorry- it's just that that's so you, Hermione," he said, wiping his eyes. "Okay, go on."

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Ron's smile slid away like oil from water.

"If she tries to jump into bed with you, Hermione..." he warned, "I will murder her."

"I'll keep that in mind when a fictional me makes her decision," Hermione replied dryly.

"Thanks," Hermione said gratefully. "Merlin, I could use one."

Harry smiled as he continued.

Half an hour later, Hermione was kinda-sorta-friends with the woman, though she didn't say her name.

"-he's never home, and every time I see him, he's got some new hickeys!" Hermione fumed.

"Who's this guy? I'll beat him up for you," offered Ron.

"I don't even know why I married that Ronald Weasley!" slurred Hermione.

Ron looked like a kicked puppy.

"Men," slurred the woman. "All the same- goddamn bastards..."

Hermione raised her bottle. "To women!" she said.

"To women in all their feminine glory,"

"That's creepy," put in Hermione.

agreed the woman, bumping her bottle against Hermione's. The first few times she missed.

Then they downed the rest of the alcohol and stared at each other.

Something in Hermione's alcohol-sodden brain clicked, and then she leaned over and kissed the woman on the cheek.

"Hermione!" yelped Ron. "How could you!"

"It wasn't me!" protested Hermione, putting up her hands.

Then woman stared at her, then dragged Hermione's face to hers and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. Hermione kissed her back enthusiastically.

"HERMIONE!"

They broke apart for a moment, during which the woman said, "My place?"

"Yeah."

They Apparated to a dark, plain bedroom, and their lips crashed together again. They fell onto the bed, tearing each other's clothes off.

Ron looked at Hermione with surprise.

"Merlin, Hermione, if I knew you wanted sex this badly-"

"End your sentence. Right there," said Hermione threateningly.

"I agree with Hermione. Merlin's pants, Ron, I didn't need those images."

"Shut up, Harry, I don't like you right now either. Who's this strange woman I'm having sex with?"

Harry cleared his throat nervously and kept reading.

The next morning, Hermione woke up naked, in a strange room, with a killer headache, next to a woman.

And not just any woman.

"A SUPERMODEL!" shouted Ron.

The blond woman next to her was none other than Rita Skeeter.

"Oh, Merlin, Harry, you are so getting it," growled Hermione. Harry cast a quick Shield charm, fearing for his life.

"That was low, mate," said Ron.

Harry escaped with only four hexes.

Oh yes I did.

Well, this has been floating around in my mind forEVER. So I decided to do like a kind of series. I'm going to do a book of the Golden Trio, The Mauraders, the Death Eaters, the Death Eaters Jr, etc. If you have any good(meaning crack)ships, just review with them. See y'all!