Letters to Home

"Has everything been disposed of?"

Corporal Levi's question had been directed towards Chief Erwin, who was currently sitting in a sort of superior position as he checked over the tally list. "Uniforms, burned," the Chief began, "3D Maneuver Gear, reassigned to lesser soldiers; personal belongings, burned." There was a brief pause in his speech as his eyes shifted up from the list. "Letters to home, documented."

The Corporal's interest had piqued at Chief Erwin's final statement. "Documented? They weren't destroyed?"

Resting down the delicate paper that had showing signs of being folded a million times over, the Chief sighed deeply and shook his head. "It is beyond our authority to dispose of property that is not considered to be ours."

Corporal Levi placed a hand to his hip, and another on the smooth service of Chief Erwin's desk. He began to tap his fingers irritably. "Why are they in our possession, then? Shouldn't the letters be with those to whom they were addressed?"

Again, the Chief shook his head. "I ordered for them to be sent back," he admitted.

"Why?" The Corporal couldn't possibly begin to understand such an insensitive act on Chief Erwin's part, though he skillfully kept his personal emotions on the matter under tightly fastened wraps.

"I have my reasons," was the Chief's curt answer, before he rose into a stand. That was when he began to walk towards a small stack of boxes and, to Corporal Levi's confusion, picked up the largest of the group.

"What do you want me to do with this?" the Corporal questioned, eyeing Chief Erwin inquisitively as he dropped the box into his hands.

"I want you to take it back to your quarters and inspect it for all it's worth," the Chief nodded, swiftly adding, "and that's an order."

'Of all times for him to assert his authority,' the Corporal mused, but in the end, he did just that. He brought the box back to his resting room, not before getting stopped by Eren along the way.

"What's in that box, Corporal?" the young soldier had asked with mighty curiosity.

"Don't know," Corporal Levi responded. He dismissed Eren with an almost bored, "As you were."

After shutting the door behind him, Corporal Levi deciding on making himself more comfortable. The box wasn't very light, so he figured his "inspecting" of it would take him a good two, three hours at the very least. Removing his knee-high boots and loosening up the belt straps that hugged his ankles and his thighs, the Corporal took a seat on the mattress of his bed and opened his assignment.

It took him the length of a second to feel absolutely sick.

Dear Father,

I'm writing to you, because I've been requested by Lance Corporal Levi. Starting tomorrow, I will become a member of the elite, a member of his squadron. It's invigorating, as well as terrifying. Please tell Mother for me; I know she'll be worried, but she will also be proud. Your little girl is finally growing up and becoming a proper soldier. Don't cry too much, okay? I'll be fine. Knowing that I'll be under the watchful eye of the Corporal, it makes me feel safer already.

Your loving daughter,

Petra

The girl had a way of accenting her name. She wrote the "P" in a very large manner, whereas her "t" was so tiny that it was almost non-existent. With a breathy inhale, Corporal Levi set the first letter aside and picked up the second.

Dear Father,

I've finally gotten the chance to write to you again. As to be expected, Corporal Levi has placed all of his squad members through treacherous training regimens. I, in fact, am writing this letter in between two of those very regimens right now. My muscles ache and my body is sore, but I will keep fighting. If the Corporal saw me as fit to be his subordinate, I must continue to prove myself worthy enough.

Your daughter,

Petra

Corporal Levi remembered those training days very well. He also remembered how adamant, how very determined Petra had been to make a good first impression of herself. There was only one thing to be said about that: it had worked.

Dear Father,

Is Mother well? These winter months truly have been brutal, haven't they? It's sad to say, but I'm currently writing this letter under the strict orders of bed rest. Corporal Levi said I had been looking a bit flushed during our operations meeting and ordered me closer. He soon determined that I had a fever, so here I am. Please don't worry, though. I'll recover soon enough. Before I know it, I'll be able to serve the Corporal once again.

Your feverish daughter,

Petra

"'A bit flushed'," Corporal Levi scoffed. "You were as red as a rotten tomato."

Setting that letter aside, he tilted his head with curiosity and picked up something that seemed rather out of place. What was this? A ribbon of some sort? It looked horribly aged and worn out.

Dear Father,

Thank you for sending me my lucky hair tie, like I had asked. However, I don't know how much use it will be put to now. I was recently ordered by Corporal Levi to cut my hair. It's much shorter now, barely brushing my shoulders. At first, I was a bit unsure of how it looked. It's definitely more efficient when it comes to washing, but I couldn't help missing my longer locks until...the Corporal told me that he liked it better when my hair was short. I don't know what to make of it. I think he may have been calling it pretty, but I'm probably very, very wrong and he was just making a comment about how it was better for my skill set to have shorter hair. Whatever the case, I don't think I'll be growing it out any time soon.

Your daughter,

Petra

Coporal Levi had meant both the latter and the prior. Petra's abilities and skills had been completely reborn after she had chopped off most of her locks, but that wasn't all. The Corporal had found her to be genuinely adorable with her hair at a shorter length.

Sifting through letter after letter, most of them mundane and domestic in nature, Corporal Levi's attention was brought up once again when a particularly interesting letter had surfaced.

Dear Father,

It has been quite some time since I've gotten the chance to write to you. Something has happened recently, and although I'm not allowed to give you very many details, please know that I'm okay and that I will be okay. What I can tell you is that Corporal Levi will be getting a new recruit very soon. His name is Eren and he's 15-years old. I haven't seen him personally yet, but from what the Corporal says about him, I'm guessing that he has a bit of a quick tongue. I have to laugh at that, though. A few days with the Corporal and he will be straightened out right away. Still, I look forward to the new edition in our squad.

Your loving daughter,

Petra

Corporal Levi took a moment to reminisce on the day he had introduced Eren to the members of his squad. Honestly, the boy looked like he was ready to piss his pants around everyone, save for sweet, little Petra. Their connection had been a natural one, and the Corporal had only predicted as much of the two of them.

There were letters that he read and there were letters that he chose not to read. Some of them were interesting, like the ones where she spoke vibrantly of her training days and her interactions with Eren, but others were clearly very personal. Even though Chief Erwin had instructed him to read every letter for, quote unquote, "what it was worth", the Corporal really didn't want to hear about the girl's menstrual cramps and tender breasts.

Because of his picky tastes in personal literature, Corporal Levi had reached the final letter much quicker then he had suspected. However, even though he had made it to the finish line, he didn't cross the path towards victory for nearly an hour. It was in that time that he read Petra's last letter to her father over and over and over again. He had memorized it. Every sentence, every word, every simple pause that she took to mark a comma. In a sort of automatic oral delivery, Corporal Levi looked up from the letter and recited it to the empty space before him.

Dearest Father,

Tomorrow, we embark on the 57th expedition outside of the wall. I'm terrified, of course, but I know I will be okay. I feel as if this time, we will finally be successful. It is this sort of premonition that I have been having for a while now. Have you heard of karma, Father? Corporal Levi told me about it. He said that if bad things happen to you, then by no doubt, something good will definitely be in store. With this expedition, I cannot help myself from thinking that it will serve to be humanity's very much deserved "something good". If I do not get the chance to write to you for a while, please know that I am okay. I know Mother worries. She has to remember that I am a member of the elite. I am strong. More than that, I am not alone. Do you recall the letter that I sent to you back when I was first recruited into Corporal Levi's squadron? Remember when I said that I would be placed under his watchful eye? Nothing had changed. His eyes are still watchful, and I am still placed beneath them.

Your ever-loving daughter,

Petra Ral

The formality of her letter was charming, but the given circumstances made it a tragedy. Petra had not been okay, nor had she been under Corporal Levi's "watchful eye" when she was smashed to her death against one of the giant trees of the forest. And because of the failed mission, her death, like the deaths of her squad mates and the deaths of many others, had been without purpose. It made the Corporal want to vomit.

"Send them back," Corporal Levi ordered, slamming the box onto Chief Erwin's desk. He turned to leave before another word could be said, but knowing the Chief, somehow, he had managed to fit in that one, unnecessary comment that would grind on the Corporal's nerves for hours.

"I see no reason to do that," Chief Erwin stated. "After all, what would have been the point of having them brought back to us if were were ultimately going to end up returning them?"

"What was the point of all of this?" Corporal Levi asked, because if there really had been one, the Chief sure wasn't making it apparent.

Raising a dismissive hand, Chief Erwin waved at Corporal Levi to shoo him out of his office. "That's purely confidential," he answered, and the Corporal left the room thinking the one and only thing that he could mentally process for the time being.

'What a disgusting lie.'

Hello there! Chappy here! :D

And...here we have it. My first angst fic for the Shingeki no Kyojin fandom ( I am so sorry ).

If you really want to wallow in your sorrows, listening to the piano version of "Clarity" by Zedd is the perfect option for you. Otherwise, grab a seat and let me give you some tissues.

Regardless of the horrible, horrible angst, I really do hope that you have enjoyed this!

Thank you for taking the time to read! (:

- Chappy