Disclaimer: THIS DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! No matter how much I hope... It is not going to happen unfortunately... Oh well, I hope you enjoy this story. This is my first so be nice please.

Warnings: This is an INTRO CHAPTER! It gives a look into Kaoru's mind and it is not that steamy... Give me a chance and it will get MUCH better later on but like I said, this chapter is slow.

Summery: Kaoru must face his brother, Hikaru, every day knowing that he feels something much worse for his brother than hate... and that is LOVE. A type of love that has no place in a family.

3rd person P.O.V.-

Hikaru stirred from his sleep noticing the bed dip as another body got up to leave. He quickly reached out to grab for his brother, whose back was turned towards him.. It was quite irregular for Kaoru to get up in the middle of the night and what kind of brother would he be if it didn't raise some suspicion in his mind.

"Kaoru, what's wrong?" Hikaru looks over at the clock that glows with the time 4:38 am. "It is most unlike you to get up in the middle of the night".

Kaoru turned slightly towards Hikaru but refused to meet his brothers' eyes. Kaoru seemed to be upset and the feeling was confirmed through the special bond the twins shared. However, even though they both knew that Kaoru was far from ok, he tried to lie anyway.

"Do not worry brother," Kaoru said "I am just going to the bathroom. I didn't mean to wake you... Go back to bed, you have a big... date... tomorrow. I will be right back."

If Hikaru noticed how Kaoru's voice broke slightly over the word "date" he said nothing of it. He was to busy mulling over the fact that Kaoru had LIED to him. They shared everything with each other since they were little, even their feelings.

Hikaru knew though, that recently they had been drifting slowly more apart and it killed him not knowing why. Hikaru figured that he would confront Kaoru about the space that was growing between them when Kaoru got out of the bathroom.

Hikaru yawned; the sheer size of their room was much more predominant when Kaoru was not next to him. He struggled to stay awake so he could have the heart to heart that the twins needed to have.

Hikaru had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He drifted off to sleep feeling that something bad was going to happen between his twin and him, something that would change their relationship forever...

Kaoru's P.O.V.-

I awoke with a jolt and risked a quick glance over at our clock. 4:16 am... Great, it's way too early to start getting ready for the day, why am I up this early anyway? Oh yeah, the dream...

That dream felt more real than was comfortable for me. I knew my twin would never act that way towards me, not when he had his precious Haruhi... I know I have no right to complain about his feelings towards Haruhi but I can't help it.

We were great when we were in our own little world, Us and Them... But then Haruhi has to come and tear down those walls we built around us.

I look over at my twin who doesn't seem to have noticed my internal struggle. When we were younger and I woke up from a nightmare, I would always find Hikaru next to me and ready to comfort me.

Our bond was stronger back then... I don't think he's noticed the steady decrease in our bonds' strength over these last couple of months. Maybe he is in denial over that fact, but I can't overlook something like that. The bond between us is my life... I was never the outgoing one between the two of us, and I used that bond to make sure I was never alone because I knew that if I let Hikaru forget about it then Hikaru would leave me alone while he went out with others, completely forgetting about me.

Over the years the need for my brother to stay by my side finally got a name... Love. But this wasn't the type of love that brothers normally feel for each other, no this was much worse. This was Lust. There is a special place in hell for the likes of me. Lusting after my older brother like an animal in heat... It's disgusting but I can't do anything about it no matter how hard I try, and trust me, I've tried.

Just thinking about this is reminding me of my dream... Ugh! I chance a look over at my brother and can't belive how peaceful he looks. The moonlight is streaming through our window and lands on his face perfectly. The moonlight makes his pale face glow in an almost otherworldly way. He looked so happy in his sleep, there was no way I was going to disturb it. I begin to survey his face and notice all the small details of his face.

Hikaru's eyebrows are perfectly shaped and matches his hair color to a tee. For some reason mine are a slight shade darker but you can't really tell unless you are really close... or you're Haruhi... anyway. Even though his eyes are closed, I can still see those amber eyes piercing mine with an intensity my eyes will never know.

My eyes move farther and farther down his face until they rest upon his lips... Those perfect, plump lips that I've dreamed about kissing me more times than is appropriate.

They look even more red in the moonlight and I soon find myself leaning in just so I can get a quick taste of them for myself... closer... closer... and closer still until

A small grunt escapes those lips and I pull myself out of my sick fantasy. I look over my twin's shoulder at the clock that now reads 4:37. My entire body feels wound up with energy and... Oh my God! I got hard just thinking about kissing my twin! I need to get up... NOW!

I slowly turn and sit up at the edge of my bed until I hear a sound that nearly stops my heart.

"Kaoru, whats wrong? It is most unlike you to get up in the middle of the night."

Even with our weakened bond, I know that he can still tell that I am far from ok while he is awake. I know I should just tell him what is wrong with me... but I don't want to loose my brother. So I keep my problems to myself and I proceed to lie through my teeth.

"Do not worry brother," I say "I am just going to the bathroom. I didn't mean to wake you... Go back to bed, you have a big... date... tomorrow. I will be right back."

Of course it is hard for me to acknowledge such a terrible thing but it is impossible for me to forget about it. After all, Hikaru took nearly a week to ask out Haruhi and of course I stood by his side as he struggled with his new emotions that he has towards the commoner.

I got up while Hikaru seemed lost in his own thoughts and made my way towards our bathroom. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake at such an early hour in the morning so I stayed in the bathroom and forcing my little problem into submission. There was no way I was going to degrade my brother by wanking in our bathroom while he slept (hopefully) on the other side of the wall.

Luckily, by the time I had left the bathroom my brother was indeed asleep but now his brow was wrinkled in and a troubled look was on his face.

I slowly crawled into bed and got back under the covers. My brother instantly threw his arm over my body and a smile crept across his face.

Even though I was struggling with my feelings towards my brother, it was my struggle... I would never let anyone else carry this burden, especially my brother! I succumbed to the darkness knowing that I would make my twin happy in any way possible... even if that included me leaving so Haruhi could take my place.