This is more of my random stuff written while my internet was out (and still is out; this was uploaded on school wifi and posted from my phone). And, let me just say, even if it was only proofreading this, I was relieved as all hell to read something other than the depressing, moping mush that is Crime and Punishment. Even Sasuke is more likeable than that book's main character.

Anyway...

Enjoy!

Naruto couldn't stop himself from swinging his legs excitably, watching on the edge of his seat as Iruka called the class to order. Oh, this was going to be his best prank yet!

Well, perhaps not his best one. This was nowhere near as awesome as the time he'd spray painted his own name on the Hokage monument… it was kind of lame, actually. But it was done on short notice and he couldn't wait to see it played out in action. This would show Iruka for giving him detention.

It was all stupid Sasuke's fault, anyway. He was the one who'd provoked him; it really wasn't Naruto's fault for punching him.

He shot a glare in his sullen classmate's direction before looking eagerly back towards the Iruka. It had been difficult to sneak the yellow stuff into the man's coffee without him noticing, so this had better be worth the effort.

"All right, everybody," Iruka called, straightening some of the papers littering his desk. "Good jutsu practice today. I was impressed; it was obvious some of you have been practicing." He smiled, then raised his coffee to sip it before hesitating. His eyes rested on Naruto with his next statement. "And others of you have not."

Naruto crossed his arms angrily and slouched down in his seat. If he had felt guilty about spiking Iruka's coffee, which he didn't, he definitely wouldn't now.

The teacher took a sip of his drink, and Naruto waited with bated breath for him to spit it out, cough, maybe even swear, yell at the class for who had poisoned his coffee.

Instead, Iruka's face twisted in displeasure, and he shuddered, glared mildly down at his drink, and set it back down on his desk.

Naruto stared in outrage.

WHAT!

Well wasn't that the most disappointing turnout for a prank ever. This wasn't what he'd paid for! It had been really expensive; he was going to go either skip lunch for the next week or steal because it had cost so much- he had been going to just use salt, but the guy convinced him this other thing would be so much better!

Liar. And now he was going to be hungry with nothing to show for it, and his prank had only made Iruka give a disgruntled look at his coffee and put it down. This was so not fair!

He should've just used salt. That always worked. But no, just had to try something new… stupid jerk at the store had probably ripped him off on purpose.

Naruto sunk even lower in his seat to glare resolutely at his desk.

His sulkiness lasted for at least twenty minutes, but he was already scheming on ways to get back at the mean shopkeeper and Iruka now- though the shopkeeper was definitely more deserving. At least, when Iruka punished him, it was because he'd done something. He hadn't even done anything to that dumb shopkeeper. Jerk.

Well, he was a jerk that was definitely going to get it now.

Naruto looked up just in time, bad mood dissolving in favor of a more determined, brainstorming one, to see Iruka walking back to his desk from the board. He was frowning a little, seeming confused, and lowered himself with shaking arms to sit back in his chair, continuing the lesson from his desk. The moment he was down, the shaking stopped, and Naruto supposed he must have just imagined it.

Then Iruka's frown deepened, and he yawned widely before grabbing at the previously abandoned coffee and taking a large gulp. His features contorted in distaste again, and Naruto blinked in confusion as the teacher tried to keep on with the lecture, but with his mind clearly on other matters.

It was on his third pattern of frown-yawn-coffee that Iruka froze in the midst of putting his coffee down. His brow furrowed in a grimace, and his chest heaved once, twice-

And then he was sprinting out of the room with a hand clasped over his mouth, expression firmly set in that telltale I'm about to throw up look.

The whole class, Naruto included, stared blankly after him.

Did Iruka-sensei just…

Well, it wasn't like Iruka couldn't get sick. But he just didn't. Iruka never got ill, not even that time a few months ago when the whole Academy was out one time or another with the flu. Plus, Iruka was the teacher. He'd never run out like that during class before.

"Uh… should we go get someone?" a girl from the front of the class called out nervously. No one replied for a few long, uncertain moments.

"Well, we could, buuuut," another boy answered, voice filled with eagerness and a hint of mischievousness, "…Iruka-sensei can take care of himself… and, without him here- we could have recess!"

It took the class about three seconds to decide what they wanted to do.

At first, Naruto was fully involved in the fun, running about and shouting, throwing away and shredding the stack of quizzes they'd taken this morning, and drawing all over the Chakra diagrams on the board. It was the best day they'd had in a long while, and taking advantage of Iruka's absence wasn't something he felt the slightest bit guilty about.

Even though Iruka-sensei is probably going to kill us when he gets back…

The novelty of the unannounced, unending recess was quick to wear off, when, over ten minutes later, they had yet to be interrupted. Iruka always seemed to know what his class was doing before they did it- they had never gotten away with something like this for so long. That, and this was an awful long time for Iruka to be throwing up… Naruto had never been sick like that for ten minutes straight, anyway.

Maybe it was some weird grown-up thing?

He hoped so, but the thought didn't do much to settle the knot of unease in his stomach.

Naruto and Kiba had just succeeded in stealing Chouji's back of chips- and incurring his wrath- when the door to the classroom slammed open. The noise was so loud it sounded over all the clamor or the class- the very, very bad sound of Iruka returning to give them all detention until next year.

And Naruto froze at the noise, closed his eyes, and prepared for the shouting to begin.

Nothing happened.

Uh oh… have we finally made Iruka-sensei so mad he can't even yell at us?

Naruto turned slowly, feeling the nervousness claw at his limbs and throat- but it wasn't Iruka.

Some ninja that Naruto didn't recognize was standing in the doorway, panting slightly and expression harried. He was as tall as Iruka, with dark, spiky hair and a bandage over his nose, and Naruto thought he would've recognized him if he worked at the Academy, because he looked kind of weird.

Even though he wasn't a teacher and didn't look angry at him, he did seem very worried, and his anxious expression commanded silence as he stepped forward into the room and turned to face them all. "Everyone, listen up!" he yelled, casting a dark eye around the classroom, fixing them all with a piercing, questioning gaze. "Iruka-sensei had to go home early. He's not feeling well. There's no substitute, so you all are going to go home early today- hey! Shut up!" The man glowered down at them all, ensuring that the cheers had stopped before he continued. "I wasn't done yet. I need to know if any of you saw any strangers come into the class today- anything at all unusual. Anybody?"

As one, the class shook their heads. Naruto did so as well, shifting his weight from one side to the other and looking away. Okay, maybe he had been asleep earlier… but if everybody else was denying it then it would probably be true.

The older man didn't seem pleased by the information; if anything, he appeared even more worried. "All right… what about Iruka himself? Any odd behavior?"

Naruto frowned, even as he shook his head. This was really weird.

"He was guzzling his coffee before he got sick," Shikamaru answered, from his prone position on top of one of the desks. The other boy wasn't even looking at the adult; in fact, he was just staring at the ceiling, expression sleepy and bored.

But that was right, Naruto remembered that. Which was weird… the coffee shouldn't have tasted very good after whatever he'd spiked it with.

The man frowned, going back to Iruka's desk to lift up the mug of poisoned coffee. "This coffee?" he asked, and Shikamaru answered with a grunt in the affirmative.

Naruto watched in confusion as the man gripped the cup tighter and nodded purposefully. "All right, thank you- anything else?"

"He didn't seem to feel very good," Sakura piped up helpfully, sitting up straighter in her seat. "Like, right before he left, I mean."

Naruto nodded in silent agreement. Yeah, he had…

The man seemed even more uneasy at the news now. "I see… anything else? From anybody?"

It was silent this time, and Naruto was starting to get worried now. What was going on? "Is something wrong with Iruka-sensei?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice steady, and his question opened up a floodgate of others.

"He's not sick that badly, is he?"

"Is Iruka-sensei going to be okay?"

"Why are you asking us all these questions about him?"

"He's not-"

"Everybody, shut up!"

Naruto bit his lip as the suddenly enraged adult yelled out for quiet. His temper seemed even worse than Iruka's… except he seemed more worried and uncertain than angry, and, what was worse, Naruto thought it was concern for Iruka that left him upset instead of angry.

His eyes went to the coffee in the man's hand, his hand to the empty glass container in his pocket.

Oh, no…

In the heavy, uncomfortable silence that followed the older man's explosion, Naruto felt his blood run cold and his heart nearly stopped.

Please don't let it be what I did please don't let it be what I did please don't let it be what I did-

"Okay, everyone, class is dismissed. I don't care if you go home, but you can't stay here."

The majority of the class scampered for the door, nearly bowling over the adult without one ounce of hesitation. Only a very tiny few lingered behind to gather up their things, but then they were gone too, leaving Naruto rooted to the spot and staring at the older man in horror.

The spiky-haired adult was already poking his head out the door, beckoning for others to come in. A man dressed the same as Iruka usually was and this other man hurried inside, long, glossy brown hair held by his headband over one half of his face and exposed brown eye narrowed in concern; the other wore a doctor's coat and latex gloves, and Naruto felt the seed of uncertainty grow inside of him.

The three men froze when they realized not all the students had left. They all stared down at him, appearing annoyed and impatient with him, but Naruto couldn't do anything but take a tiny step back.

WHAT DID I DO TO IRUKA-SENSEI?!

"What?" snapped the man who had first interrupted the class's fun. "I told you to go home!"

Naruto swallowed, hard, and clenched suddenly taking fists behind his back. "…I- it's just-…" He slipped one hand back into his pocket, holding onto the treacherous glass container tightly. "…Is Iruka-sensei going to be okay?"

The spiky-haired adult exchanged an unreadable look with the brunette one, then turned away, moving to Iruka's desk. "I don't know."

The terse reply made Naruto's insides curl up into a hurt, trembling mass, and he felt so scared he might be sick himself. He pulled the container out of his pocket with one trembling hand, eyes widening as he stumbled, legs no longer able to support his own weight.

The doctor narrowed his eyes at him. He turned away from Iruka's things to stare him down and Naruto would've been glad to just sink down into the floor and never be seen again at the hint of accusation in his gaze. "Do you have something to tell us? Because, if you don't, you really need to leave- right now."

Naruto really, really wanted to just keep silent. He'd been expecting that the worst that could happen was a few days of detention- what was going to happen when they found out he had made Iruka sick?! They were all going to be so furious at him…

People already hated him for no reason. Naruto couldn't imagine how bad it would get once they actually had a reason.

But I can't keep quiet! Iruka-sensei could be really sick…

His thoughts flashed back to when his teacher had jumped to his feet, hand clamped over his mouth and eyes wide in panic.

That was all he needed to open his mouth.

"I'm really really sorry! I didn't mean to do anything like this- it was just a little prank! I didn't know he would get sick, I don't even know what it is- it was just supposed to make the coffee taste bad it wasn't supposed to make him sick! I-"

"What is this?" the doctor took the tiny glass bottle away and raised it to read the label, the other two adults both turned to watch him suspiciously. Naruto didn't even care that they were looking at him like that, because he very definitely deserved it this time, and suddenly felt more scared than he'd ever been in his life, even more than when he'd been chased by those villagers on his birthday last year and had ended up hiding in a tree until past midnight, too terrified to come down.

Because he'd been afraid then, truly frightened that they were going to find him and hurt him for some crime he had no idea he'd committed… but this was about Iruka.

He wasn't frightened for himself. And, somehow, that made the fear ten times worse.

The doctor read the label on the glass, then sighed, shoulders slumping and expression calming in both exasperation and relief. He tossed the container back to the other two men, stretching slightly and turning towards the door. "This would explain everything. Get down to the hospital and give that to the medic there; I'm going home."

Naruto felt as if he'd just been punched in the gut. The hospital? Iruka-sensei's in the hospital?

Oh, god, what did I DO to him?!

The spiky-haired adult caught the glass, read it as well, then visibly slumped in relief. His anxious features relaxed and he rubbed a hand over his eyes, breathing a little heavily as he handed the glass to his brunette friend. He read it as well, and his reaction was more subdued than the other's, but he, too, still appeared relieved.

"Ipecac," the spiky-haired man muttered, shaking his head slightly, but the worry was gone from his voice. "…I'm sure glad I'm not Iruka right now, but it could be worse."

Naruto couldn't stand it anymore. "What?!" he cried, dashing up to the front of the classroom and jumping, trying to get his attention, heart in his throat. "What is it?! Is he going to be okay? Please, it was just a stupid prank- I didn't mean to hurt him! Just tell me is he going to be okay because I didn't-"

His frantic rambling was abruptly cut off by a shove to the chest. Naruto found himself tumbling back to collide against one of the desks, elbow colliding with the wood and responding with an aching, burning pain, but the physical discomfort was nothing to the horrible guilt he felt inside. The man above him stared him down with all the hate and accusation he was used to-

Except, this time, he deserved it.

"What the hell made you think ipecac was a good prank? A prank is when you replace someone's shampoo with itching powder, a prank is when you steal someone's keys and it's raining out- you don't make them throw up! We thought he'd been poisoned and it was just your stupid idea of a prank!"

The adult's expression was twisted in a cold fury, an antagonistic hate, and it was horribly familiar, but made all the worse because now, Naruto knew what he'd done to deserve it.

Being looked at like that made it feel like his insides were constricting, squeezing out breath and gripping his heart until it hurt, but even as the man glared down at him, all Naruto could see was Iruka dashing from the room, hand over his mouth and familiar features contorted in pain and panic.

Iruka-sensei-!

Naruto ran for it.

It was unbearable, those eyes, that rage, that hatred, and he couldn't stand it for one more second, because the piercing gaze only kept and kept reminding him that, this time, he well and truly deserved it. "I'm sorry!" he yelled, pushing himself back up to his feet and sprinting right out the classroom door.

"I'm really sorry!"

I've never taken ipecac before, nor do I know anyone who has. It's hard to do online research about it, because most of it is either outdated or just says that ipecac has fallen out of use- so I did my best. Sorry if parts are inaccurate. So... reviews, please? :)