The Harem Jutsu

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto series.

Chapter 1: Harem Jutsu!

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"Obito. I'm so sorry. I wasn't able to protect Rin. I broke my promise. And now, it seems like I've lost everyone I ever cared about."

Kakashi couldn't believe that the emptiness he felt back then would be filled again, about fifteen years later. Even though some of his friends were still alive, they were so far away that he would probably never them ever again. Sasuke, who had lost his way ever since he killed his brother. Oh yes, he was going to see him again, that was for sure. But some younger friends from his past, who were innocent and defenceless and had to flee from Konoha during the attack of the Kyuubi, were probably dead by now.

He looked up and saw three great friends walking in front of him, on their way back from another exploring mission. Naruto was talking about a date with Sakura.

"We aren't even back yet and you're already talking about dating?" she said with a frown.

"It'll be fun," Naruto said. "Please, Sakura-chan? Just one—"

"No, you idiot!" Sakura yelled, punching Naruto on the head. A huge bump appeared on his head. "Ahhhhhh…" Naruto mumbled, with little tears in his eyes.

Sai just walked beside them, looking confused.

"Sakura, if you like Naruto, why don't you want to go on a date with him?" he asked. Sakura looked at him in surprise. "W-wha—"

Naruto recovered and walked right next to Sakura. "Eh?! Sakura-chan, so you really do like me?!"

Once again, Sakura punched him on the head, making the bump on his head growing.

"Sai, if you don't want to end up like that, you'd better think before you say such idiotic things, got it?" she said with a blush on her cheeks.

Sai smiled nervously and said: "Got it."

Kakashi laughed as he saw his friends being exactly who they were. He wouldn't want it to be any different.

As he watched Naruto still trying to get Sakura to go on a date with him, Kakashi had a strange feeling about Naruto just being Naruto, having such a rough childhood, having the great responsibility as the host body of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, not having known his parents at all… or even known about his older sister at all.

"Kakashi-niichan! Help me! You promised! YOU PROMISED!"

He could still hear that voice as he woke up the next day. Not even one day passed without feeling regret for that day. But people couldn't make up for their mistakes with regret. He knew that as much as the next guy. But he couldn't help it. Besides, she is dead now. There was no chance left for him to make it up to her.

As he walked through the village, he saw Konohamaru performing his Harem Jutsu again in an attempt to bribe the salesman in the bookstore into letting him buy a pornographic comic book.

"Please, sir," the beautiful young lady said, looking at the salesman with puppy dog eyes, "I just want to improve my Jutsu. Is that so wrong?"

The salesman stared at her – excuse me: him – with a wide open mouth and eventually fell back with a nosebleed. Konohamaru gave a tiny, girly giggle and took the book.

He changed back as soon as he was outside and smirked. "That was just too easy," he mumbled in himself.

"Aren't you a little young for this kind of stuff?" Kakashi asked calmly. Konohamaru froze, then slowly turned around and saw Kakashi. He smiled nervously.

"It's just to improve my Harem Jutsu, Kakashi-sensei," he said. "I want it to become at least as good as Naruto-niichan's!"

Kakashi laughed. "So that's what's keeping you kids so busy these days, huh? You should be focusing on jutsu's that are actually useful in combat."

"I do, sensei," Konohamaru said. "Who knows? Maybe this jutsu can come in handy in combat! That is, if your opponent is someone like Ebisu-sensei."

Kakashi laughed again. He remembered Naruto calling Ebisu a closet pervert.

"Well, I guess I'll just cut you some slack this time," he sighed. "Just don't let this distract you too much from your training, ok?"

He walked away, but stopped right after passing Konohamaru. Without turning around, he said: "Unless you changed your mind about becoming the next Hokage after Naruto, of course."

"No way!" Konohamaru said.

"Good," Kakashi said as he continued walking.

Konohamaru watched him walking away as Ebisu appeared behind him. "So there you are," he said angrily. "Let's get back to training already! Your teammates and I are waiting for you!"

He saw that Konohamaru had something in his hand. "What's that?" Ebisu asked. "Another comic book?" He snatched it out of his hand and took a look while still speaking. "I swear, those things just poison your mi—" He saw what it really was. On the cover, a sexy woman in bikini was smiling at him, holding a very sexy pose.

Ebisu stared at it with his mouth wide open, and blood slowly dripping out of his nose.

Kakashi kept walking while reading one of his "Icha Icha" books, like he always did.

He looked up from it when he heard a noise coming from one of the stores.

"Naruto!" he heard a man yelling. "I'm not giving you anything for free, so cut that out! You're driving away my costumers!"

Naruto ran out of the store with a disappointed look on his face. "Ahw man," he mumbled.

"Yo, Naruto," Kakashi said. "What happened?"

"I don't have enough money to buy some cup ramen," he said. His stomach grumbled. "I just need a snack. And that old geezer who runs the shop won't give me any for free. Hell, not even for a discount! Even when I used my Harem Jutsu!"

Kakashi just laughed. "I just ran into Konohamaru using that jutsu, and now it's you!"

"Well, it's the most amazing jutsu ever, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto. "Except for my Rasen Shuuriken, that is."

"Well now it looks like it doesn't always work, huh?" Kakashi said.

Naruto's stomach was growling again. He looked exhausted. Then he looked at Kakashi. Kakashi could see in Naruto's eyes what he was thinking.

"And it's not going to work on me, either!" he said.

Naruto thought for a while. "Hey, hey!" he said, realizing something. He pointed at Kakashi, who was looking at him in surprise. "What?" Kakashi asked. A big grin appeared on Naruto's face.

"Kakashi-sensei, you've never actually seen my Harem Jutsu, have you?" he said.

Come to think of it: no, Kakashi had never seen that jutsu before. Sakura always jumped in when Naruto was about to perform that jutsu. And Kakashi was never around when Naruto did perform it.

"Uhh… no," Kakashi said, "but don't even think about it."

"PLEASE, Kakashi-sensei! I'm not asking for much; just please spare me some money!" Naruto practically begged him. His growling stomach finally did the trick.

Before he even put his wallet back in his pocket, Kakashi saw Naruto running out of the store already, with a cup of ramen in his hand. "Thanks, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said as he ran back home. Kakashi sighed and walked on.

"Harem Jutsu. Only Naruto can come up with such a ridiculous idea," Kakashi mumbled to himself, smiling underneath his mask. He couldn't help but thinking about how that would look. He quickly shook the thought off, realizing that was just a sick thought.

Just then, the girl he just imagined – only this girl was actually wearing clothes – ran right past him. He stood still and looked at her. A woman was following her.

"Come back here, Naruto!" she yelled angrily. "I'm not buying that old trick of yours anymore!"

Kakashi decided to follow them.

...

Is this really Naruto? Please Review and fave if interested...