A one shot written for my 100th follower of my other story (The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn) MaFan based on the prompt - I would like to see a one shot of Emma and Regina talking the night after Regina is tortured by Greg Mendel, but before the trigger goes off and Henry is brought back to the apartment. They were in a secret relationship that Regina broke off when Neal came town because she was jealous and didn't want to get hurt. There can be fluff and drama galore and we can pretend that Emma's 'I love you' to Neal never happened! As I think most SwanQueeners do!

I hope you think it fulfils the prompt and that you enjoy it! Please leave your comments to let me know what you think.

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Emma sat with her back against the wall, facing the bed on which Regina lay sleeping. It was not a peaceful slumber, however. The brunette twitched and whimpered, nightmares plaguing her. Tears streamed silently down Emma's cheeks as she watched. She wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but that was no longer her place. Regina had made that much clear.

Fresh tears rolled down Emma's cheeks at the thought. Before Neal had come to town, she and Regina had shared something. Both were loathe to label it a relationship, but it had all the qualities of one. Of course, it hadn't been public knowledge. Just something between them. And that made it all the harder when the brunette had suddenly ended things. No one had known, so Emma, lost and heart-broken, had no one to turn to.

Neal had suspected, she knew, and had tried to take her mind off of things. He would suggest taking Henry out together, or even just get on her nerves and start teasing her to pull her out of her sulk. She had one thing to thank her sudden lack of relationship for, however. It was trying to keep her mind from Regina that had led her to start watching, and questioning Tamara's story. Looking once more at the restless woman in the bed, she only wished she had trusted her instincts sooner. So much could have been different if she had.

Wiping a hand clumsily across her face, she wiped her nose with her sleeve.

"Now I know where Henry learned that."

Emma jumped at the sound of Regina's raspy voice. "Sorry if I woke you."

Forcing herself to sit up in the bed, Regina turned to the blonde huddled on the floor. "You didn't. The nightmares did." The witch was too tired, and in far too much pain to put her walls up. Especially when she was alone with Emma, the woman she trusted. "You look pathetic down there."

"You look half dead up there," came the reply.

Regina let out a breathy chuckle. She looked as bad as she felt then. "At least it's only half dead thanks to you." She paused, taking in the raised eyebrow being directed at her. "Oh please, I said thank you to your mother once, don't expect me to do it again."

It was Emma's turn to chuckle this time. Every occupant of the room had almost fainted when those two words had come out of Regina's mouth in Snow's direction. "You were just trying a new way to kill her, weren't you?"

Regina merely smirked. Killing Snow with kindness, now there was a new idea to consider. "Snow told me about Henry's father."

The smile that had managed to tilt the corners of Emma's mouth upwards vanished.

"How are you?"

Fresh tears streamed down the blonde's pale cheeks. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "After what he did to me, I shouldn't feel anything for him." She looked up at the brunette who held her heart, still at a loss as to how Neal, after all these years and all they had been through, could still have any claim on it.

"Come here."

Emma looked up in wonder as Regina opened her arms to her, beckoning her to join her.

"Don't make me try and get up, Miss Swan!"

Managing a watery smile at the mocking use of her formal name, Emma scrambled inelegantly to her feet. She curled into Regina's side, wrapping her arms around her slim waist. She closed her eyes as familiar fingers began to comb through her hair. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," whispered Regina, tears in her own eyes. Henry wasn't the only one she had been thinking about that day, trying to hold on to her sanity. The pain had almost been too much to bear, but somehow, as she had lain there, she had managed to keep her son and the woman she loved firmly in her mind. Every time they would send the electricity through her body, she would picture one of their smiling faces, alternating each time. Being able to alternate between the two, she reasoned (as best she could in the state she was in) proved she was still holding on, still in control of something. "I'm sorry."

Emma looked up at the former queen, a frown on her face. "What for?"

"Leaving you." Regina delicately wiped away her own tears. "I didn't want to, but I felt I had to."

"Had to? Why?"

"I saw the way you looked at Neal," she admitted in a whisper, screwing her eyes shut against the further tears that threatened. "I'm not a person who deals well with jealousy, Emma, and with my magic back, I couldn't trust myself." She opened her eyes when she felt a slightly caloused thumb stroke across her cheek. "I had to let you go before I did something I'd regret, or before I had to watch you walk away."

Emma shook her head, trying to comprehend what was being said to her. "You ended things because you were jealous of Neal?"

"I'm not proud of it," replied Regina, sniffling.

"You idiot!"

"I'm not the one with the Charming DNA, dear," the brunette snapped back.

Emma managed a small smile. "No, but you're damned stupid sometimes."

"Am I?" asked Regina, her gaze locked with the blonde's. "Tell me you don't still love him."

Emma opened her mouth to reply, only to close it again. She couldn't. "I love you."

"That not what I asked," breathed Regina. She paused, taking a deep breath. "Emma, I'm not good with love, but I have come to understand it somewhat. Over the years, I've tried to have it, and to keep it, in so many ways, and I know now, that I can't just keep someone and force them to love me." She forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat and continue. "When I saw how you'd look at Neal, I couldn't keep you and force you to love me."

"What I feel for you could never be forced," cried Emma, leaning their foreheads together.

"I had to let you choose."

Emma found the corners of her mouth turning up in a small smile of understanding. "And I choose you. Every time. Yes, there is still a part of me that loves him. I guess there always will be, but you are the one I am in love with. Who I know I want to be with now and always, through whatever crap life throws at us next."

"Eloquent as always." Regina managed to laugh through her tears.

"So how about it, Mills? You and me, together, through whatever crap comes next."

Regina found a genuine smile creeping over her features. "Seal it with a kiss?"

Emma grinned back at the brunette, thinking that despite everything, seeing that smile on the brunette's face might just be able to make up for it. She leant in, letting her lips press gently against those soft, sweet tasting ones she had missed so much. She could taste the salt of their mingled tears, feel the apology being pressed against her lips. As she swept tongue across Regina's lower lip, she was surprised at how eagerly the brunette accepted the questing muscle, meeting it with her own as usually strong hands slid into her hair.

"I was so scared today," breathed Emma when they finally pulled back, foreheads still resting together. She wanted to keep the new, lighter direction of their discussion, but there were things that needed to be said between them. And only them. "I was so scared we'd be too late."

"But you weren't."

"What if I had been?" cried Emma, pulling away as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can't lose you. Forget Henry, forget all the fairytale shit, forget everything else..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath. "Me. I need you."

Regina caught the blonde's gesturing hands. "You have me. I let you go because I thought I had to. But if I'm what you want, I'm yours." She dropped her head. "I can't do this alone anymore."

Pulling her hands free, Emma wrapped her arms around the brunette, holding her to her. "You don't have to." She felt Regina's arms wrap tightly around her back, hands clutching at the material of her shirt. "I'm so fucking scared," breathed Emma.

Regina chuckled, pulling back, her tear stained face a mirror of the blonde's right down to the goofy grin. "You should be."

Emma found herself laughing along with the brunette.

"I'm scared too," the former Evil Queen admitted in a whisper. "Things like this...I'm not good with them."

"And I am?" chuckled Emma. She shrugged. "Henry's good at building relationships, we'll get him to keep us on the right track."

Regina eyes widened at the mention of their son. "What do we tell him?"

"We're not fighting anymore?"

The brunette raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "That's it?"

Emma grinned, willingly rising to the bait. "That he might want to start his sessions with Archie back up because he's going to have to get used to me being around a lot more? Specifically around you. In very, very close proximity..." She leant in to press her lips to Regina's once more. "Because now that I can, I'm pretty much going to do that at every opportunity to make up for all the times I wanted to but couldn't."

"That's going to be often, then?"

"Very," grinned Emma, leaning in to kiss her again. "Seriously though, don't worry about the kid. You raised him too well for this to be what he rebels about. He loves you, he loves me...he'll just have to get used to us loving each other."

"You love me?" the question, barely louder than a breath, was accompanied with wide eyes and a hand pressed to the former Queen's heart.

Emma's smile softened as she took in the vulnerable expression on her Regina's face. "Of course I do. Did you miss me saying it before?"

Fresh tears spilled from the brunette's chocolate pools. "I just had to make sure."

Emma would have rolled her eyes were it not for the fact she knew just how much Regina needed to be reassured when it came to love and matters of the heart. "I love you," she said again, leaning over to kiss the brunette's forehead. "I love you," she repeated, kissing one closed eyelid. She continued to repeat the words as she kissed Regina's other eyelid, both cheeks, her nose, her lips, and finally, the scar on the top left of them. "Did you catch it that time?"

Regina opened her eyes as even more tears spilled forth, a watery smile on her lips. "I love you too. And I'm sorry for all the harm that's going to bring you, but I can't help it."

"Don't you dare apologise for loving me," smiled Emma. "You insufferable witch," she added, her tone warm and teasing. She let her arms slide from around the woman she loved, moving to wrestle off her boots.

"What are you doing?" asked Regina, wrapping her arms around her protectively, feeling the loss of Emma's warmth keenly.

"It's been a long day," sighed Emma, finally kicking off her boots, and sliding off her jacket, which she dumped on the floor next to them. "And I know it's not over yet, but I think we both deserve a little bit of quiet," she said as she moved to occupy the free side of the bed, slipping under the covers and laying on her back, opening her arms to the woman next to her. "An hour, just for us. No more emotional revelations, no more crying..." She paused as Regina settled in her embrace, her face nuzzled into the crook of Emma's neck. "Just this. The rest of the world can come later."