RELAPSE

Chapter Two

She would know that profile anywhere.

Tall and lean, even when sitting down he exudes an air that one would be daft to not recognize. He was there, in that same seat. It was all she could do not to turn back and stare at him. She had spent four years picking up the pieces of her broken heart. And while she never hated him, the pain wasn't any easier to bear. It had been a dull ache for years now, something she sometimes forget when she was busy enough.

It all came back with a vengeance upon seeing him with another woman, no, not just any woman, his wife.

She remembered seeing his wedding at the society pages. It was the biggest wedding that year. She didn't cry at first, she had prepared for it after all. But when night came and she was alone in bed, the tears would come and the skies would be lighter by the time they stop. It had been her routine for a year. Even though she was the one who left his side that night, it was clear to her that even if she stayed, she will not be his choice.

He never exactly told her why they ended that way. But with the little he said about his family, she gathered everything he did was for his beloved brother. It was one of the reasons she loved him so deeply. It was a faraway dream, back when she still felt his arms around her, how he held her like there was no tomorrow. She knew that kind of loving was once in a lifetime, she had found herself in him. But as she had proven over and over when she awoke without Itachi beside her, love will never be enough.

Sakura tried to focus on the man before her. She met Neji two years after her break-up with Itachi. They have been dating on and off, both content with what they share. It was a bond bordering more on friendship than anything else, at least on her part. Neji though, respected what she wanted. He had never done anything past a kiss. She knew she was being unfair, but she still can't bring herself to give what she had once bestowed upon Itachi.

She laughed at what Neji said, without understanding a word. She seemed to have done the right thing though, because he didn't think it strange. She felt his hand at the small of her back, but she imagined it was another's. Hands the same size, but warmer, so much more welcome.

Four years later, she was back where she had started.

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He didn't know why he came back. He and Konan left the restaurant a few minutes after he saw Sakura. But no sooner did they get home he went out again, explaining he left something at his office. It wasn't his intention to return where he had been. He didn't have any destination in mind when he left his house. He just wanted to get rid of the stifling air that surrounded him there. If it was his guilt or the tension between him and his wife, he didn't know. He chose to run away.

It was only when he was in front of the fountain again that he realized it was where he wanted to be all along. For a reason he knew but tried to quell. He stood looking at the coins under the water. Wondering if any of those wishers got what they prayed for, wondering which one was hers. He realized he never did get the answer to what he had asked her so many years ago.

"A penny for your thoughts?" He cringed inwardly at his overrated line.

"No thank you, I just used mine for a wish." She answered, her smile echoing his thoughts.

"You might need it for another one." He found himself attracted to those emerald orbs of hers.

"One is enough." Her simple reply.

He was about to give up and leave her alone when he saw something twinkle in her eye. As if she too was as enchanted with him as he was with her. He dared to hope, he waited a bit.

"But I could use some company, on a nice day like this it's a shame to spend it alone. Hi, I'm Sakura." Holding her hand out.

He held it, quite longer than usual, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Itachi."

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"A penny for your thoughts?"

He would know that voice anywhere.

Itachi looked behind him and felt the wind taken out of him. As if he was back in time. There she was as lovely as ever. Her eyes though, were now holding something back from him.

"No thank you, I just used mine for a wish." Mimicking her words a lifetime ago.

He was rewarded with a smile, reminiscent of when they used to be together. He sat at the edge of the fountain and looked at her, a silent invitation for her to join him. He saw hesitation in her eyes before she sat beside him. He hadn't realized he was holding his breath until he released it when she answered his request.

None of them spoke for a few minutes, both staring at the restaurant he was in just a few minutes before. The silence which they were comfortable with before now comes with a heavier feeling, with words neither of them was willing to say. Time it seems, have changed so many things between them. He wanted to touch her hand, only a few inches away from his. To see if even the feeling of it had changed. She looked at him then, as if reading what was on his mind. He wouldn't be surprised if she had. It had always been a knack of hers.

"So, how's married life been treating you?" She was the first to break the silence.

He smiled a bit, some things he guessed, never changed. He found himself taking comfort in the fact that somewhere inside the woman he was now looking at, there still exists the one he had always loved.

"It's…sufficient."

If not for the memories of you I'd have wasted away.

She laughed, the music he had imagined earlier was there.

"You make it sound like a business deal."

"It is what it is."

Would it have been different, had I chosen you?

"She's beautiful."

"Hn."

I still long for you.

"What are we doing here Itachi?" the sadness she had tried to hide now echoed with her last words.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully.

Silence surrounded them again. It was getting harder to contain himself, so he stopped trying to.

The skies were getting dark, there were only a handful of people going about the place. She was staring at the first stars that made themselves visible. They were the last things she saw before dark eyes settled on hers, before hungry lips claimed her own.

The risk of being seen disappeared from their minds the moment their lips touched. His fingers dug deep into her hair when he felt her immediate response. He lifted her and sat her on his lap, her arms embracing him tighter, hands tangling themselves in his hair as well. The jets of water emitted by the fountain their only protection from prying eyes. His hands ventured further, they travelled from her neck to the sides of her breasts, and he took her gasp with his tongue, exploring her mouth further. She took as much as she gave. It was heating them up more and more. His hands settled on her thighs, moving higher as she grew restless on his lap. Then all of a sudden, he stopped.

He tasted her tears.

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Slowly, regrettably, he moved his face away from hers. He stared at her downcast eyes. Shame etched into her every feature. She was crying silently and he mentally kicked himself for not realizing sooner. Still in his lap he embraced her, placing her head under his chin as he stroked her back. Trying to console her and at the same time prolonging the time he can touch her. When her sobs stopped, she was the one who moved away from him. Taking away the warmth he felt with her.

She walked a few steps away from him. He remained sitting at the edge of the fountain, her profile the only one he could see.

"I'm sorry." She said.

Shame washing over him, he was the one who was supposed to utter those words.

"No, Sakura…" He couldn't continue, saying her name brought up feelings he wasn't supposed to feel.

Her eyes clenched shut, it was having the same effect on her.

"Seeing you again, it brings back things I've long ago buried. We can't keep doing this to ourselves Itachi."

I can't keep running back to you.

He remained silent, but what else can he say. He didn't want to admit to himself the truth her words held. He could not run away with her, he was trapped. It was the reason he broke her heart in the first place. He had chosen his fate. Yet why, with just the merest sight of her, did everything he had planned crumble into a pile of ash.

"We chose to have separate lives, we chose to be apart. What does this say about us?" Sakura laughed bitterly.

"It says we still love each other."

She looked at him again, with sadness that tore at his heart. She had always been in pain, and he caused that.

"But love is not enough remember." Her words a reminder of his resolve.

For the first time in his life, he wondered if choosing his brother was the right thing to do. He was about to say so when her hands cupped his face, her touch begging him not to say anything. Again, she had read him. He was both thankful and regretful.

"No, with you and I, it will always be like this. We will only hate ourselves if we turn our backs from our resolve. It's not fair Itachi, to any of us. But we have to live with the choices we've made."

There wasn't any comfort in her words, only their sad reality.

The finality in her tone told him she was once more saying goodbye. He was reliving that night over again. This time was worse, this time he'll be powerless as he watches her walk away from him.

"I will always love you Sakura." He vaguely wondered if she realized whenever he says those words, it was always in goodbye. A tear dropped from her eyes, she knew it all along.

"And I, you." Her reply.

"How did we end up like this?" He asked, trying to keep her as much as he can.

"Perhaps, in another life, we're happy together." Humour laced her words.

"Perhaps." The words were empty.

"Sakura…"

She looked at him.

"What did you wish for, that first time we met?"

Her sad smile answered him before her words did.

"It doesn't matter now."

She kissed him again, long and hard. But without the urgency, she took her time, unwittingly telling him through her kiss all the things she chose not to say the night she left.

I love you so much it hurts.

As the night finally descended, she moved back and turned away from Itachi. Every step she took away from him brought her closer to the freedom she was scared to reach for. Every step made her want to run back and tell him she'd stay with him forever. She was blinded by her tears, not knowing where to go, she just had to get away from him, away from the promise his eyes held.

She heard him call her name once more, but she chose to ignore it.

No more.

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He called her, but didn't really expect her to come back. Sakura never changed her mind once it was made up, it was one of her endearing traits, one that annoyed him a couple of times, but he wouldn't have any other way.

It was a pain like no other, seeing her walk away from him. But he knew ultimately, all of this was by his own hand. He knew he could make her stay, but hate would eventually come between them if he forced her hand.

I will always love you.

He had said. And though his words weren't enough, it didn't make it any less true. It was another burden he would have to bear, as penance for loving another woman, and for causing her pain for the longest time. He had been living without Sakura, he hadn't realized how much life he'd lost until he saw her again.

An unwanted image crossed his mind, Sakura living her life without him. Her, loving another man, perhaps the one he saw earlier, having sons and daughters with him, growing old with him. A life he had secretly thought of with her whenever he watched her sleep ages ago. If only he wasn't an Uchiha, maybe then that other life she mentioned would be theirs now.

He stayed for a bit longer, savouring his last moments with her. Remembering again and again how she kissed him, how she held him. Though many years have passed, she still held the same flame for him as she did before. He didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse.

The fountain had long ago stopped working, the lights inside the restaurants and shops were dead. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there just thinking of Sakura. Finally, he started to get up, grabbing a coin from his pocket, he threw it in the water.

One more, maybe this time it will come true.

He laughed at himself, when had he stooped to succumbing to such childish ways. But she had believed in it once, maybe he should try as well.

And as he went on his way to the house that held no happiness for him, he thought, not for the first time, if this will be the last time he'll see her again.

If this really is their last goodbye.

END

A/N: Hmm, well after this there may or may not be another sequel, I'm not sure yet if they're better off without each other or if they deserve to be together. Let me know your thoughts if you wish. My warmest thanks for those who read this. =)