Welcome to Hillocalypse everyone! I said that this was my secondary project, and here it is!

Okay, now to business: This fic is an AU fic, one that takes continuity from all of King of the Hill's seasons, and starts off as an alternate ending to "Hilloween". You'll get a grasp of this continuity as we go along.

I DO NOT OWN KING OF THE HILL, IT IS THE PROPERTY OF MIKE JUDGE, GREG DANIELS, THE FOX NETWORK, AND ADULT SWIM!

Let us begin...


'Don't give in Bobby, don't give in!' The inner thoughts of the man dressed in the devil costume that was too small for him screamed these words over and over.

Despite the show of leadership he showed to the others, Hank Hill was worried as heck for his son, and all because of a single woman.


It had all begun on October the twenty-ninth when Luanne Platter, Hank's not-so-loved-but-still-loved niece had ran into the kitchen in a panic, screaming in horror that Halloween was a Satanic, religious holiday, saying that a woman named Junie Harper had told her about this. Hank was not amused at this.

Then came one of the real blows, just when Hank thought that the issue was dealt with…

Junie Harper shut down his haunted house project for Tom Landry Middle School, the school where kids in Hank's part of Arlen Texas went to. She claimed that Halloween was religious and threatened to sue the school. Hank tried to reason with Carl Moss, the principal, but due to a previous lawsuit, Carl backed down.

Hank had left in a huff and disgust.

Then when he had the idea for a haunted garage and listened to more of Luanne's trash babble, Hank went to teach Bobby the true meaning of Halloween:

Pranks.

At first Hank was planning on pranking his neighbor Dale for fun, but upon seeing Junie Harper scream for her cat. Hank brought over Bobby to prank her instead. Bobby had trouble to start with though, and before Hank could stop him, he had broken a birdhouse very loudly, which attracted Harper's attention.

To make a long story short, Hank had to deal with the police and more of Junie Harper's crap.

He later praised Bobby for what he had done, and laughed at Junie Harper having to clean up the mess as he worked on his Haunted Garage.

Then came the true blow.

Luanne rushed in with news about Junie Harper. Apparently, when Junie Harper tried to chase down Hank and Bobby after they 'pranked' her, she had run over her cat, and blamed Hank and Bobby as the culprits as Satanists. She had presented the remains to the city council, who put in a special curfew to ban Halloween.

If Hank had been mad before, now he was utterly infuriated.

He had sat outside his garage for a few hours, then Peggy broke to him terrifying news:

Luanne had taken Bobby to Junie Harper's house.

Taking away his Haunted House was one thing, banning Trick-Or-Treating was another, nearly making him spit out bear upon learning of this was yet another, but brainwashing Bobby? That was too going far.

Hank had donned his old Halloween costume, and began a rally towards Junie Harper's house. First came his friends Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer. Then, Luanne, feeling guilty and realizing that she had been duped, joined Hank and his friends, leading to the entire street and block joining Hank in the rally.

And now they were walking towards Junie Harper's "Hallelujah House", shouting 'Trick-Or-Treat" all the way.


In Junie Harper's house, the neighborhood children who had been persuaded to come were on the verge of signing forms. Forms that would indoctrinate them into Junie Harper's 'Hallelujah Club'. Junie Harper, wearing an angel outfit, was watching them as they remembered what they had seen prior to signing the forms.

They had seen the sinful acts that would happen to them if they did not repent. The kids, Bobby included had seen that death would follow if they went "Tier 15" and accepted Darwinism.

But that was only the beginning of the punishments that would occur to them if they misbehaved in the eyes of the lord.

Pain would come to them if they ate too much. Fire would destroy them if they partook in drugs and cigarettes, though to be fair, the first two is essentially common sense. But thunder from heaven would strike them down if they accepted false idols in any way.

To make a long story short, the children were scared, creped out, and confused. The only thing that seemed to offer sanity was the certificate in front of them, and the brownies next to it. Mainly the brownies, though the certificate still had its upsides.

Out of all of the kids though, it was Bobby who was the most of all the three reasons above:

His father had criticized Bobby for not picking a scarier Halloween costume, and after being given his father's old Halloween costume, Luanne had screamed in a panic about Halloween being Satanic. At first, Bobby had dismissed it.

But the prank on Junie Harper and Luanne discussing with him about Hank's behavior about Halloween began to strike fear in Bobby's soul. The events that followed didn't help, and Bobby finally decided to go over to Junie Harper's to get away from 'Satan'.

Now he had the form right next to him, as well as an empty plate of brownies.

Bobby then felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up at Junie Harper, smiling down on him benevolently like a merciful angel. He looked back at the previous day's events and the delicious brownies. Bobby knew what he had to do.

He signed his full name; 'Robert Jefferson Hill' onto the certificate.

A big smile then spread on Junie Harper's face as she turned around to face everyone.

"Congratulations Bobby, hey everyone, Bobby Hill has joined the Hallelujah Club!" Junie Harper announced.

Junie's assistants rose their arms up in the air and shouted; "Hallelujah Bobby!"

"Can I have another brownie?" Bobby asked.

"Of course you can you little sweetie!" Junie Harper said, hugging Bobby and leaving the room to get more brownies.

That did it for the rest of the kids, who were still trying to figure out what they were to do. They quickly picked up their pens and signed the forms in order to get more brownies. Without giving further food for their thoughts, which were messed up already.

"Trick or Treat!" Screamed a series of voices.

"I'll handle this!" Junie Harper cried from the kitchen.

"Should I get the cops Ma'am?" one of Junie's assistants asked.

"Do so." She replied.

Junie Harper, followed by the children with Bobby in the middle, walked up to the front door and opened it to see the adults of Rainy Street dressed up in makeshift Halloween costumes.

"Well hey Bobby!" Hank said to his son.

"Go away Satan! I know you want my soul!" Bobby cried out.

"Bobby, it's just a costume." Hank said.

"There is a curfew in effect Mr. Hill, but I guess you have no respect for man's law either." Junie Harper said.

"The cops are on their way ma'am." One of Junie Harper's workers said.

"Excellent." Junie Harper replied. "Perhaps it will teach this corrupting man not to disobey the Hand of God by breaking man's law."

"I've had enough of this nonsense, c'mon son let's go trick-or-treating!" Hank said defiantly.

"No!" Bobby cried out.

"You see Mr. Hill, he is a good boy, and he won't be participating in your gathering of evil." Junie Harper said.

Hank sighed. "All right Bobby I don't want to force you to choose. I just wanted to spend Halloween with my son but I guess I can't do that this year. It just, tears my heart out. BWAAA!"

Everyone gasped as Hank held his chest tightly, only for him to straighten up and reveal a fake heart.

But contrary to what Hank thought, the children didn't laugh; instead, they looked downright terrified.

"AHH!" They screamed.

"You see Mr. Hill, your actions are vile and disgusting, so leave now or else!" Junie Harper said.

"Stop!" Hank yelled

Hank rubbed his forehead in annoyance.

"Come on Bobby, Halloween's just no fun without you." Hank said.

Bobby looked at his father, and then at Junie Harper. He then stepped onto the threshold of the doorway and looked at Junie and his father for about ten seconds.

"I'm sorry dad." Bobby said as he stepped fully back into Junie Harper's home.

"What, Bobby?" Hank cried out

"Silence Mr. Hill, you can think over what's happened in prison! Take him away!" Junie Harper said.

The crowd looked back to see a swarm of cops surrounding them. One of them stormed up the stairs and cuffed Hank.

"C'mon you." He said.

"Wait no, Bobby, BOBBY!" Hank cried out as Junie Harper shut the door.

"No…" Hank's voice trailed off as he was dragged into the police cruiser.


I can't think of anything else to say right now, so yeah!

I'd appreciate a review if you guys would be so kind, the KOTH fanfic community is pretty bare.

-AuthorD