The Fifth Time Harvey Visits Donna | Darvey, Suits Oneshot

A/N: this is unbeta'd and was written to accompany a gifset I made for tumblr ( post/51907998994)

xxx

They've fought before. On a daily basis, almost every other word they exchange are fighting words. They hide affection behind barbed sarcasm and sharp quips. They take comfort in the superficial animosity. It helps them define the line between being Harvey and being Donna and being Harvey and Donna. It's a line they toe every day. Fighting was nothing new.

But Donna not showing up for work was new.

He can't even remember clearly what it was that had set them off the previous day, but when the lunch hour rolls around, passes and her chair remained empty, panic had set in.

He can count the number of times he's visited her apartment on one hand. There was that god-awful dinner party and the two times during his whole disbarment debacle. And then there was that other time, of which they never speak of. This would be the fifth time.

After knocking on the door and calling her name for the hundredth time, inciting complaints for the landlord, he was finally kicked out. Harvey was not known to be the waiting sort. He prided himself on the fact that people waited on him, not the other way around. The fact that he would make exceptions for anybody was astounding.

And then he thought to himself how Donna had always broken his rules. Like how she had talked him into letting her parents stay at his condo. How she scratched his one-of-a-kind Miles Davis and he let her get away with it. How she's the only one who knew the intimate details of his family, about his mom, his dad, his brother. How she was really the only one he knew to have his back unconditionally.

No, not unconditionally.

Today has proven that and he realized what an asshole he's been to take her for granted.

When he lost her the first time, she had said he didn't fight for her. It was true, he didn't. Because somewhere in the deep recesses of his convoluted, arrogant mind he had thought she will always come back to him. He never thought he would lose her forever. Things are different now. The way she had walked out last night, without bothering to say good night before leaving the office felt different. She may have forgiven him for not fighting for her the last time, but things had changed between them. He had lost her trust and he can feel it like a wedge growing the divide between them into a chasm. He needed to do something.

He's lost count of the number of cars and people that have passed him by. Somehow two o'clock had turned into five o'clock and then five o'clock into eight and then nine and then ten and so on.

A whole day has gone by and he hasn't seen her face or hear her voice and an ache so profound finds itself settling into his chest. His expensive Rolex reads 11:11 PM. She once told him, while being uncharacteristically fanciful, that if you make a wish when the clock reads 11:11 exactly the wish will come true. It's a lie, he realizes when she still doesn't show up.

He's growing weary and the hard cement is wrinkling his expensive suit. He idly recalls that he has an early meeting tomorrow that he is ill prepared for. Donna usually handles preparing his memos after all. He's starting to fall asleep and remembers that Donna also usually gets him his coffee too.

The sound of heels clicking on the pavement jolted him from his stupor. The relief he felt at the sight of her is immediate and physical. She has an incredulous expression on her face, her hands spread out in silent admonishment. "Are you fucking kidding me?" it said. He shrugged slightly in return.

She opened her mouth to say something. By the scowl on her lips he knew it was nothing good so he beat her to the punch.

"I'm sorry."

She stared at him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, in case she didn't hear him.

"For what?" she taunted, eyebrow arched.

"For being me. For being an asshole. For not appreciating you. For not fighting for you. I can go on I you like."

Her scowl softened, but only just a little bit.

"But I'm fighting for you now, Donna." He paused for a second and amended himself. "If you'll let me."

Because it's not about what he wants, it's about what she wants. He's done being selfish.

"How long have you been here?" Her eyes raked over his askew tie, creased suit, and five o'clock shadow.

"Around noon?"

She glanced down at her watch and then back up at him.

"You had at least three meetings after two," she scolded.

"Something more important came up," he replied.

He can't read her expression.

"You have a seven o'clock meeting in the morning."

"I'll just have to cancel it."

"You are not going to cancel it. I've been trying to arrange this meeting with Global for weeks."

Her words are clipped, but when she takes his hand to pull him up, her palm is warm.

"Come on," she said, leading him towards her building.

He stops at the foot of the stairs.

"I'm sorry, Donna."

He felt like he needed to say it again.

"I know, Harvey."

The little smile that she gave him makes him think that maybe… maybe that chasm between them was finally starting to close.

A/N#2: i've been meaning to write more darvey things and also I always felt like Harvey won Donna back too easily and I wanted to see more struggle between them. It felt like a true betrayal when Harvey allowed Donna be fired and I needed to see that strain the relationship even though she agreed to go back and work for him again. Because Donna calls Harvey on his shit. She's not gonna take it lying down.