A/N: Hi! This is my first Doctor Who fic, I've been a fan since I was 3 so this is well over due. I based it on a fanvid by Carbuncle22 called 'Rose is Still Around' I highly recommend you check it out, I don't usually like fanvids but this was AMAZING!

Let me know what you think reviews and CC are appreciated :D

Thanks for reading!

- Ms Gatsby

He was done. It was over; he couldn't take it anymore. Losing the Ponds was it for him, no more; he'd never have another companion as long as he lived. All he did was ruin the; there was Donna, who'd never remember their adventures or just how important she really was, Sarah Jane who he left and never returned for, Sarah Jane who waited her entire life for him, and how did he repay her? There was Tegan, the Australian air hostess who was just trying to get to Heathrow; of course he had to sweep her up on one of his adventures. Why? Because he could.

Who was he to meddle and risk their lives, Jamie, Mel, Perri, Ian, Barbra, Ace, Jo he'd put them all in danger and changed them, not just the course of their lives but changed who they were, they'd seen things that humans of their time weren't supposed to. He'd even left his own Granddaughter and never returned; and Adric had paid the ultimate price. He didn't deserve any of them.

His thoughts turned to Martha, smart, brave, brilliant Martha. He didn't give her what she deserved, he was still raw from the loss of Rose when she came along, he couldn't see what an amazing companion she could have been.

Rose.

The name stung his mind.

"Rose Tyler." He said out loud to no one, his voice barely a whisper as a solitary tear fell down his face; the console room had never felt colder or more empty.

The Tardis hummed in sympathy; she missed Rose too, they had had a connection, she she'd seen how happy Rose had made the Doctor, happier than he'd been in centuries.

"I know." the Doctor whispered as he stroked the console in an attempt to comfort his one constant companion.

His mind was taken back to their last adventure, when he left her on Bad Wolf Bay with his Metacrisis.

"Does it need saying?" the four hardest words he'd ever had to say; that day he wanted nothing more than to confess his love to her and take her back to the Tardis.

But he didn't. He let her go to live a life with his human half; it was what was best for her he had reasoned. She deserved a normal life, one with her family and someone who wasn't afraid to love her back and let her know he did.

But maybe he was wrong, maybe he should have been selfish and kept her; she did say she loved travelling with him. Even after all this time he needed her, he loved her. It wasn't to say that he didn't love River, comparing each relationship was like comparing apples and oranges. Rose was different, she had saved him. She'd come along after the time war when he had nothing to live for; he was broken and she had fixed him, she gave him hope; she gave him someone to live for.

No. He had to fix this, if there was one thing he wanted to make right it was this, he needed to get her back. His head shot up and with a smile on his face he straightened his bow tie.

"Maybe if I just…" he started whizzing around the console, hitting buttons and turning knobs as he went, his heart racing with hope. "AHA!" he exclaimed excitedly as the tie rotor began to move.

"Ready old girl?" he asked the Tardis who was already humming in Protest. She refused to move, she wasn't going to risk both their lives. The Doctor's smile began to fade, he needed this, why couldn't she understand?

"Please?" he whispered to her, holding back tears "Please?" he stepped back from the console, defeat painted all over his face. Suddenly she gave in and the Doctor was thrown around the room, he laughed as explosions came from every direction. "Into the void!" his excitement evident over the chaos.

Then everything went black.

He came to to the smell of burning; he rubbed his head as he stood to inspect the damage done to the Tardis. She looked as she had the first time he had gone through the void; dark and sick, barely a sign of life. He hurriedly searched the console room for a sign she had survived; he began to panic when he found none.

Then out of the corner of his eye he saw it, a bulb glowing dimly. He looked at it apologetically as he did as he had done before and gave her 10 years of his life to begin healing her.

After putting the bulb back into place he headed to the burnt out door, his hand rested on it. How would he find her? What would he say? What if she didn't want to see him? He gulped as he pushed his fears to the back of his mind and opened the door. As he stepped outside he looked up to see zeppelins filling the early morning sky; he'd never been happier to see one in his life.

"Right then, right universe; good. Now to find Rose Tyler" he said with a smile as he headed through the London streets to start his search.