A/N: Levi makes a Little Einsteins reference. That is the level I have sunk to. How he knows about that show I don't know but hey.

But in all seriousness, I think this chapter opens a window that the other parts of this fic haven't touched. By which I mean, of course, that levi and eren are actually a super lovey dovey couple. And Levi is a big sap. Oh well, we all know his cold exterior is a farce.

I wrote half this chapter the day after the last time I updated, then didn't touch it for months. I'm sorry ;; I know where this fic is going (I say this like I haven't from the beginning. Well, funny story actually…), it's just a matter of actually sitting down to write it.

P.S. I had some issues uploading this, so if there are any errors, please alert me. Thanks.

Levi's POV

Over the past few months it had begun to feel like he and Eren were seeing less and less of each other, slowly drifting apart. That hadn't done anything to change his feelings- only scared him and, if anything, made them stronger. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, he'd heard. Perhaps it was true. What was definitely true, though, that Levi felt a hundred times better now that he was talking to Eren every day, seeing him more often than not.

Levi felt like he'd sort of disappeared when Eren might have needed him most. There were reasons for that- both of their schedules had filled and Eren had walled himself off (which, Levi now realized, should've been a warning sign). But he wanted to be around as much as possible now to keep anything close to that ever happening again. And he really liked seeing a lot of Eren.

Eren seemed happier, too. According to Mikasa, he'd opened up again to her and Armin, and his therapist said they'd made a leap in terms of recovery progress. But most importantly, Levi could see the changes. More often than not, Eren gave people real smiles. He laughed until he was breathless. His grades began to go up again. It was a slow change. There was still a lot of progress to be made and still days where he didn't want to get out of bed, but they were fewer and farther in between. The good effects of therapy were beginning to really surface.

Most importantly, Eren seemed like he was finally falling back into the pattern that was living, not simply existing. Levi didn't want him to ever let go of that.

Eren's therapy ended at one. Levi had come to pick him up after asking Mikasa if he was free for the rest of the day. He had promised to go out the next time they both had a free day, after all. Levi had ended up a few minutes early, so he sat in the waiting room, absentmindedly people-watching.

Some of the people here weren't the cheeriest. Two girls were sitting together in the corner, a freckled brunette and a petite blonde. The blonde stared blankly at her lap, and the brunette held her hand tightly whilst casting threatening glares around the room. Levi sort of felt like he could relate to her protective expression when she glanced at the smaller girl.

He didn't like the atmosphere. He'd been uncomfortable with places like this since his parents passed, way back when he was little. He had muddled memories of hospitals and social workers and psychologists, finally being sent off to live with an aunt he'd never met. Her two kids, Isabel and Farlan, did not particularly care for him, although his aunt had treated him well. She'd died while he was studying abroad, and he and his cousins had more or less cut ties after he graduated.

It hadn't really phased him, honestly. Sure, he had mourned his aunt. She'd been kind to him and taken him in with open arms and a willingness to take him in as her own. But Levi hadn't let himself get close to anyone, until he came back to America.

Then he'd met Hani and Erwin, through them others who he considered sane enough (usually) to trust. He'd long since worked through his issues, after all. But then came Eren. They'd first met when he was an obnoxious high school sophomore of a brat. Levi had kept his distance, but Eren didn't seem to grasp the concept of "unwelcome". He should've seen right away how stubborn the kid was. Admittedly, it hadn't taken Levi very long to start enjoying the his presence, and then they were friends and that was that. Eren was everywhere, everything. Eren was different than anyone he'd ever known. Hotheaded and painfully honest, energetic and wild and new. Eren was unique. Eren held his own share of mysteries, and despite the plethora of questions he asked at first, he knew how to hold a comfortable silence. He knew when to back down and when not to give up. Maybe it was about the time he started college that Levi started developing legitimate feelings for him.

Levi realized now, though, that he hadn't even known half of what went on in Eren's head. He still didn't. Despite seeming so carefree, he'd actually been dealing with chronic depression; long enough, it seemed, for things to spiral out of control and end up where they had. Levi had dealt with his own share of issues in his life- numbness, night terrors, anger and loneliness after the accident. But nothing had ever driven him to the point that Eren had been to. It was frightening to imagine.

He was yanked out of his thoughts by the sound of his name. He looked up, seeing Eren walking towards him. He stopped a foot away and gently pressed two fingers between Levi's eyebrows. "What're you frowning about?"

Levi stood up. "Nothing. I came to pick you up, seeing as we're both free after this. You still owe me a date."

Eren's face lit up like a little kid's after being invited to a birthday party. "Where're we going?"

Somewhere that he'd mentioned he loved when he was younger, a place that Levi had been to with him once before and witnessed him revert back to being a little kid. A little kid filled to the brim with wonder and curiosity for the world. As sappy as that all sounded even in his head, he wanted Eren to experience that again. So he'd planned this, knowing that it was a childish idea for a date, but deciding that being childish for a few hours sounded awfully nice. "You'll see when we get there." He stepped around him to greet his therapist, who had followed him out. She smiled at him cordially.

"Hello. Levi, right? We haven't met before, I think, but Eren's told me about you. I'm Mina."

Levi nodded in greeting, wondering what exactly Eren had said about him to her. She seemed nice enough, but he couldn't be more eager to get out of there, so he took Eren's hand to lead him off. "Well, we've got places to be Eren, come on." Eren huffed at him and waved to Mina, letting himself be tugged along. Levi felt like he could breathe a little easier as soon as he walked through the doors.

"Where exactly are we going?" Eren asked as they pulled out the parking lot in Levi's car.

"A trip, Eren, in our favorite fucking rocket ship. I already told you that you'll find out when we get there."

Eren snorted, and Levi saw him roll his eyes. "I can't believe you actually said that. Fine, I see how it is."

"You'll like it, trust me." That effectively ended that conversation, and they chatted idly the rest of the way (except for when Eren suggested a place they might be heading towards, which Levi always replied to with a no). When they finally drove under the sign to the parking lot, Eren whipped his head around so fast he probably risked a crick in his neck.

"The aquarium?" The excitement in his voice made Levi fight to keep from smiling.

"Like the sign says."

"I'm gonna kiss you."

Levi didn't blush, positively not. His ears didn't turn the slightest shade of pink. Eren was a very physical-contact orientated person, even more so as a lover. He'd quickly gotten used to that fact (and didn't mind it in the slightest, but he kept that part to himself) Levi had to press his hand against Eren's chest to keep him from coming any closer than he already had. "Christ, wait until I park the goddamn car." He did, but as soon as Levi pulled the keys out of the ignition he felt Eren's hand under his chin, tilting his head so he could mesh their lips together.

It didn't last very long, probably because Eren was too excited to sit in the car, but Levi didn't really mind. He had Eren to himself now, after all. He could get a kiss whenever he wanted.

That thought made him smugger than it should've.

The aquarium wasn't ridiculously crowded, thank fuck. And Levi supposed it wasn't filthy, so long as one kept away from the railings and smudgy glass. Families and a few young couples milled about, creating a murmur of voices throughout the area.

The fish were certainly beautiful. The area they were in now was dimly lit, with walls of glass separating the viewers from the exotic, uniquely patterned fish. Their scales glittered as they swam through recreated habitats, occasionally flitting up the the glass. There were hundreds of them.

But the real beauty to Levi's eyes was Eren.

Eren had rambled on about how long it'd been since he'd come here, and how much he loved aquariums, and how cool the fish were. But as soon as they'd actually gotten inside, he'd gone silent. His wide eyes fell on the fish and that was it- he was captivated. He kept his hold on Levi's hand and gently lead him slowly through the tanks. He didn't say much other than to occasionally point a particular fish out, only watching the water and sea creatures.

Levi preferred to watch him, being the old sappy fuck that he was.

The way Eren leaned towards the water and craned his neck to watch as one particular fish slipped out of sight among the seaweed. He looked like he could stand there for hours, gazing into the water.

They walked into a tunnel, suddenly finding themselves surrounded by glittering fish and tons and tons of water. Levi almost felt claustrophobic, imagining the weight of the water pressing down on his from all sides, but Eren...Eren looked like he could be absorbed through the glass and not notice a thing.

He let out a tiny sigh as Levi led him out, seeing as he'd stopped right in the middle of the walkway. "They're so pretty. It's like another world."

Levi hummed in agreement. "C'mon, let's go see the jellyfish."

Eren smiled, distracted by the promise of more wonders. "Oh, I love those. Have you seen the glowing ones? I'll show you. They're like tiny stars."

Rather like his eyes, Levi thought.

The last thing they saw were the sharks, which Eren seemed most smitten by. He'd oogled at the fluttering jellyfish and admired the sea turtles, but now he was practically pressed up to the slanted glass that acted as a window to the murky pit that was the shark tank. The greatest source of light seemed to be coming from the tank itself, illuminating Eren's face as he leaned over the railing, peering into the depths through the glass.

The wall of glass reached from the floor to the ceiling and stretched along the width of the wide room, opening it up to the depths. A small variety of sharks swam around, sometimes hard to see until the light caught them a certain way. They stayed relatively close to the sandy bottom, sometimes venturing along the side of the glass or further towards the top of the tank. Looking down at them, Levi thought that their habitat seemed rather barren. Compared to the tropical habitats they'd seen, there wasn't much to look at. There wasn't as much color as the other fish had had, and none of the delicacy of the jellyfish. But in place of all that was a subdued kind of power. None of these sharks looked particularly dangerous, but they were graceful in their movements and powerful in appearance. They needed no aesthetically pleasing rocks and flowering anemone; they held all the attention on their own.

Levi leaned against the railing, turning his attention to Eren again. His eyes traveled back and forth, following no one creature in particular. He looked somber in comparison to earlier, when he'd smiled whimsically and seemed to revel in the colors and brightness, but he looked just as enraptured.

"All the fish are so bright and colorful, but these are the one's I'd want to paint the most," he announced, turning to look at Levi and smiling lopsidedly at him. "What're you staring at, anyway?"

Levi averted his gaze to the sharks. "Nothing." Eren's fingers threaded through his again, and then a mop of brown hair fell gently onto his shoulder.

"Thanks for taking me here," he said happily. "I like going out with you."

"Mmhm. We'll do it again. Let's go?"

Eren nodded, and led Levi out of the dimly lit room by the hand.

"Mikasa's at Annie's. She won't be back until later."

Levi leaned against the steering wheel and smirked at Eren. "Are you inviting me in?"

"Yeah, if you want to, at least."

"I think I'll stay in here, where I know it's safe and orderly." Eren rolled his eyes and hit Levi's arm before clambering out of the car.

"Geez, you make it sound like we live in a toxic waste disposal area. You coming or not?" Levi didn't reply, but he got out of the car and followed Eren inside.

Eren went straight to the refrigerator. "You want anything?"

"No." Levi kicked his shoes off by the door and sat on the couch, watching Eren scuffle around the kitchen. As he poured himself a glass of juice, he stopped and picked up a square of paper from the counter- an envelope. His brows pinched together and the corner of his lip pulled up.

"Why that look of disgust?" Levi asked, folding his arms over the back of the couch. Eren shook his head and dropped the envelope.

"He finally noticed that he'd fucking 'forgotten' to send money for the last four fuckin' months." He chugged his drink and set the glass down, too firmly so the sound rang out in the room. "Big surprise there. I'll bet he's real sorry." The couch dipped under his weight.

Levi wrapped his arms around Eren. Mikasa and Eren's dad (well, Mikasa's second father), whose name Eren had never told him, had a lot of problems; the first of which was that he was too good-for-nothing to consistently support his kids even a little. Levi hadn't ever even seen a picture of him, but he knew the last time he visited was just before Eren started college. As soon as Eren and Mikasa had turned eighteen, he'd stopped checking in every few months. He was supposed to send money every month, but that obviously didn't happen. Hell knew what the fucker was up to; they all had their own unvoiced theories.

Eren acted like it had no effect on him; he said that his dad had never really been around anyway, but there were times when it obviously bothered him. He didn't like talking about it, nor did Mikasa, so Levi didn't pry. Still, he felt like giving the asshole a good punch to the jaw if he ever had the misfortune to meet him.

He didn't have anything to tell Eren though, because what was one supposed to say about this kind of thing? There was nothing to say, so he just kissed Eren's temple comfortingly. At least he understood what it was like to lose your folks.

"This is so dumb."

"What is?"

Eren gestured vaguely into the air. "Everything. Life. Kiss me again."

"It's good that you work with paint and not words," Levi said, tilting the other's chin. Eren snorted and pressed their lips together, sliding his arms around Levi's shoulders.

They kissed lazily for a few minutes, breathing each other in. Eren's lips still tasted like apple juice, and his fingers felt nice against Levi's scalp. Eren willing let Levi's tongue into his mouth and sighed softly around it. A shiver ran down Levi's spine and he slid his hands down Eren's sides to his hips. He nipped at his lower lip and pulled back briefly, only to attach his mouth to Eren's jaw.

Eren hummed pleasantly as Levi kissed along the line of his jaw to his throat. Levi could feel his pulse against his lips, faster than usual, and grazed his teeth over the spot. Eren's breath hitched slightly, and the way his fingers tightened in Levi's hair told him that he was doing well.

Maybe a bit too well, but they had time…

Eren's hands cupped the sides of Levi's face and pulled him into another eager kiss, mostly tongue and all passion. Levi watched him through half-closed eyes, and when Eren's slid open he held his gaze as he pushed him back against the cushions. Thick lashes fell over green orbs again and Eren moaned, sending another jolt down Levi's spine.

But as soon as he slid his fingers under Eren's shirt, pushing it slowly upwards, he froze underneath him. Levi pulled back, propped himself up on his hands and looked down at Eren. He was flushed, panting and looking off to the side nervously. His hands fiddled nervously with the hem of his shirt, pulling it back down.

Levi brushed his cheek with his thumb. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied, too quickly. "I just…"

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want to."

Eren shook his head, still averting his eyes. "No, no I want to just...not...not right now. Okay?"

Levi pressed his lips to his forehead. "Okay." He sat back, letting Eren straighten himself out. He reached for the remote and turned the TV on, and kissed Eren's hair when he snuggled up to him. He turned his eyes to whatever episode of "American Horror Story" Eren was putting on. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Eren rubbing his hand over his sleeve- something he did when something was bothering him.

Levi wondered what it was.

Eren's POV

He hadn't meant to seize up at all.

Eren put making out with Levi right up there with eating frosting out of the jar and sleeping in on holidays. It was better than those things, actually. It hadn't been so great sitting there awkwardly turned on for a while, but it was his own fault.

As soon as Levi's fingers had touched the skin of his torso it was like every scar he'd made suddenly lit up. How the fuck was he supposed to let Levi see the absolute mess he'd made of his body? He didn't like looking at them- like hell anyone else would. Levi didn't want to fucking see all that shit. Eren didn't want anyone to see it either.

But how was he to explain something like that? He couldn't. As much as he wanted to be intimate with Levi...how could he?

Looking in his bathroom mirror now, his shirt bunched up in his hands, he wanted to puke. He vehemently hated every pale line that ran along his arms and hips and sides, and he wanted nothing, nothing more, than to erase them all.

He wished he could've stopped years ago, and he wished he could stop now.

He'd almost been clean since the day he'd bitten up his arm like a monster, and that hadn't scarred horrifically, thankfully. But the newer lines on his left side, just above his hip, had been made five, no, six days ago. If his skin had just itched a little less, if he'd been a little stronger, maybe he'd have been able to make it a month. Maybe he could've made it two, then three, then more...

He hadn't told anyone. He had enough disappointment in himself to cover for the four people he might confess to.

"Dammit. Dammit." Eren sighed, glaring at his disgusting reflection. He'd been okay. He'd been doing well. Hell, he'd been happy, really happy, for a few whole days. He'd thought that the effort was making a difference, however small. Maybe he'd been naive enough to hope that this was a step forward that he wouldn't fuck up with and end up taking two steps backwards, like usual. The constant rain had stopped for a while, light cut in through the darkness even a little bit- and he went and fucked it up again.

Right now, he just wanted to erase himself. Erase Eren Jaeger, because the world wouldn't change at all without him.

And now he hated himself for thinking that, because he knew people would miss him.

Eren put his shirt back on and left the bathroom, deciding that he would be happy if he never had to look at himself again.

A/N: Well, I'm sorry if you thought we were finally gonna get some dick action. We did, actually- me being a dick.

I can't be too nice to Eren, it doesn't work like that. As I said, I know where this fic is going and it's just a matter of writing it... and resisting the urge to scrap and restart it completely. So many errors in the previous chapters ughhh u-u. Anyway, thank you for patience. I did write other stuff during the time I wasn't writing this, so, if that counts as an excuse…you can go read that if you're sad because they didn't screw yet.

Ah yes, in the waiting room...that was indeed Ymir and Historia. My darlings. I might do a side story for those lovely lesbians. A happy one, you ask? Ha.

I'm thinking about 10-15 chapters max, which was my plan from the start. My fics usually don't follow my start plan, so this is new. Also, thank you for the reviews! They're very motivating and remind me that people want to read this...even if I update it roughly five times a year ^^'