A/N: I wrote this for the "We're in a Relationship" competition over on HPFC. Hope you guys like it, please review! :)
"Big news, boys!" James announced, strutting into the Great Hall.
The other Marauders looked up as James slid into the empty seat next to Peter. None of them were anxious to hear what he had to say; James had a habit of making lackluster declarations.
"Let me guess, you're giving up firewhiskey?" Remus quipped.
"You've become the first Head Boy ever to flunk out of Hogwarts?" Sirius guessed.
"It could be something good," Peter pointed out good-naturedly.
James put his arm around the small boy, grinning.
"Wormtail is closer to the truth than either of you," he told Sirius and Remus. "For shame!"
The three boys laughed, and James raised his eyebrows.
"Is that really the best you can do?" he asked, clearly disappointed. "I really mean it, this is big news!"
"Oh, come on," Sirius chuckled. "It's not as if you've found a cure for Moony or anything."
He smiled and clapped Remus on the back affectionately, but Remus rolled his eyes.
"Hopefully he's found a cure for whatever it is you have that makes you an ass, Padfoot," Remus replied amiably.
"The Black family blood can't be cured, mate," Sirius shrugged, downing the rest of his pumpkin juice. "You've all met dear Regulus, haven't you?"
"He's not a bad kid," Peter insisted. "Just fallen in with the wrong crowd."
"Wish he'd have the courage to find a new crowd then," Sirius muttered. "Bloody piece of sh—"
"So James, what were you saying?" Peter interrupted hurriedly. "I can see you're bursting at the seams to tell us."
Indeed, James had been getting antsy while his friends talked among themselves. He was drumming his fingers against the table and barely picking at his food despite the delicious spread.
"You haven't even touched the treacle tart," Remus remarked. "Perhaps this is important after all."
"You doubted me?" James asked, widening his eyes in an attempt to feign hurt.
"Oh, stop your whining and tell us!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Alright," James nodded, motioning for his friends to lean in. "Here goes nothing."
He seized the moment and took a dramatic pause as his friends shrugged to each other and moved in closer to form a tight huddle.
"Today, Lily finally said yes," James whispered.
James looked around and was pleased to find that his words had the desired effect; his friends were all stunned into silence. Sadly, it didn't last long. Sirius, naturally, was the first to give in, and he threw his head back and roared with laughter. Remus and Peter soon joined him.
"Said yes to what, Prongs?" Sirius asked. "Hexing you into oblivion?"
"Maybe she just wanted you to finally stop asking," Remus suggested.
"I'm not lying!" James insisted.
Peter put a hand on James' shoulder and nodded solemnly.
"Of course you're not," he agreed. "You're just delusional."
James glared at his friends as they howled with laughter.
"It's the truth!" he told them. "If you don't believe me, just ask her yourself!"
He looked down the Gryffindor table, searching for the Head Girl in vain.
"Seems like your supposed girlfriend is avoiding you," Sirius commented.
"She's not my supposed girlfriend," James grumbled. "She's my girlfriend, and she's in the library."
"And why didn't you mention that before?" Remus inquired. "Before as in when you so boldly declared that we should ask her."
"It does seem suspicious that she's not here," Peter added.
"I just forgot," James muttered, embarrassed. "She even asked me to bring her some food because she said she needed to finish this Potions—"
"I understand now!" Sirius interrupted triumphantly. "Evans asked you to get her some food, and you thought it was a tacit agreement to enter into a relationship."
"Padfoot, that's brilliant!" Peter exclaimed.
"It does seem rather likely," Remus agreed.
"Some best mates you lot are," James sighed. "I thought you would celebrate the greatest victory of my lifetime—of all of our lifetimes—but you can't even accept that it's real!"
He looked down at his plate and stabbed his potatoes so morosely that his friends almost felt bad for giving him such a hard time.
"It's just a lot to swallow, Prongs," Remus said gently. "This is the same girl that has publicly denounced you for years."
"We all get a bit excited about girls sometimes," Peter shrugged. "Misunderstandings happen."
"Speak for yourself, Wormtail," Sirius grinned, turning to wink at Marlene McKinnon. "I don't have any problems with the ladies. Isn't that right, love?"
Marlene rolled her eyes and made a rude hand gesture but couldn't hide her blush.
"Still on for Saturday then?" Sirius called.
Marlene gave him the slightest hint of a nod before turning back to her friends, and Sirius blew her a kiss.
"See, Prongs, that's how it's done," he told James.
"Thanks for the advice," James replied sarcastically. "Seeing as I have a girlfriend and all. Why don't you three just go find her and settle this before I start throwing hexes?"
"We should probably apologize for your delusions," Remus acknowledged.
He then stood up and looked at Sirius and Peter.
"Shall we leave James to enjoy his fantasy a bit longer?" Remus asked.
"It only seems fair," Peter agreed.
"See you, Prongs," Sirius smirked.
James gave them a mock salute as they exited the Great Hall.
"I'll be waiting here for my apology!" he called.
They waved him off and continued on to the library with Remus in the lead.
"So we're just going to say sorry?" Peter clarified.
"And to bother Evans, of course!" Sirius replied.
"It would probably be better if you didn't talk," Remus told him.
"But Evans is our mate's girl now!" Sirius protested mockingly. "It would be rude of me not to talk to her."
The boys snickered and shook their heads.
"How does James do it?" Remus asked. "Lily is not going to be happy that he's going around telling people that they're dating."
"Well, it was just us," Peter shrugged. "I'm sure she won't be too upset, right?"
They had reached the library at this point, and Remus was about to open the door when Sirius stopped him.
"Think we should have our wands at the ready?" Sirius asked uncertainly. "Evans is known to be violent when provoked."
Remus looked at him, half amused and half exasperated.
"First of all, I don't intend to provoke her," he replied. "Second of all, you have got to stop denying that you're scared of Lily."
"The girl is a menace!" Sirius exclaimed.
"I think she's nice," Peter told him. "You're much more of a menace than her."
"Wormtail is right," Remus chuckled, opening the door to the library. "And if you feel threatened, you can always hide behind Peter."
Sirius eyed the mousy boy suspiciously, shrugged in defeat, and followed his friends into the library.
When they entered, it was easy to find the red-haired Lily among the few students still in the library during dinnertime. They walked over to her table, where she looked to be lost in thought as she read through a long scroll of parchment. Sirius nudged Remus, who quickly cleared his throat to get Lily's attention.
"Oh, hello," Lily said, startled. "Sorry, Remus, I didn't even see you. I've been working on this essay for too long, I think."
"Any work on an essay is too much work if you ask me," Sirius told her, before Remus had the chance to say anything.
"Lovely to see you as always, Black," Lily remarked sarcastically.
"And you, Head Girl," Sirius shot back. "We're not here to chat though, sorry to disappoint."
"Oh?" Lily replied, raising an eyebrow. "What are you here for then?"
"To apologize," Peter answered. "For James."
Lily looked at the boys in confusion, but not even Remus knew what to say.
"Well, he can be a bit stupid sometimes," Remus said finally.
"What, he can't get me dinner?" Lily asked. "That's alright, I'll just run to the Great Hall now and get something to eat."
The three boys exchanged surprised glances. They were suddenly all overcome by the same question: If Lily really had asked him to get her some food, what else was James telling the truth about?
"He seems to think that there's something going on," Peter told her.
"In the Great Hall?" Lily replied. "In the kitchens? What's going on?"
Sirius began to try to explain, but he looked into Lily's suddenly piercing green eyes and couldn't speak.
"Look, I don't know what you three are trying to do," Lily shrugged. "But I—"
"James is delusional!" Peter blurted out.
Lily, Remus, and Sirius immediately turned to stare at the small boy, who bit his lip.
"Peter doesn't mean that exactly," Sirius said, managing to find his voice.
"Then what does he mean exactly?" Lily retorted.
She looked expectantly at the three boys, but they remained silent.
"What is going on?" Lily asked, exasperated. "James is my boyfriend, I think I deserve to know."
"WHAT?!" the three boys shouted in unison.
"Shut it!" Lily whispered, inclining her head slightly in the direction of the irritable librarian. "I thought James told you!"
Peter was now biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, Remus was holding a hand to his forehead, and Sirius was failing to hold in his laughter for the second time that night.
"Well, he did tell us," Remus admitted sheepishly. "It's just that—"
"We… didn't… believe him!" Sirius finished, between bouts of laughter.
"Are you trying to prank us, Lily?" Peter asked earnestly.
Lily giggled and began to put her study materials into her bag.
"James must have been devastated," she smiled. "He was so excited to tell you, you know."
"But you've always hated him!" Remus protested.
"Don't you remember the Crusades of fifth year?" Peter added.
"I remember them fondly," Lily grinned.
"Well then, what changed?" Sirius asked.
"He told me that he wasn't going to be friends with you anymore, Black," Lily replied mischievously. "That's what changed."
"Evans, you go too far!" Sirius warned.
"Oh, calm down," she told him, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "He wouldn't do that. I'll just have to learn to tolerate you, I suppose."
Lily began to walk out of the library, leaving most of the boys' questions unanswered, but they were still too shocked to stop her.
"Maybe we'll even be friends one day, Sirius!" Lily called, looking back and winking at the dark-haired boy.
She then left the library, and the three Marauders quickly followed her in a manner they considered to be quite stealthy.
"She could still be pranking us," Sirius insisted.
"I think she's telling the truth," Remus told him, with a smile.
"No harm in following her," Peter said neutrally.
Once Lily got to the Great Hall, she sat down next to James with a smile. Sirius gasped, Remus grinned, and Peter just watched with wide eyes.
"Your friends are insufferable," Lily laughed.
"You know they followed you here," James told her. "They're still watching."
"Oh, I know, they're quite obvious," Lily replied. "That's why I'm going to do this."
James gave her a quizzical look, and she simply leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. He immediately turned red and put two fingers up to his cheek in wonder.
"Good night, James," Lily smiled.
"G-Good night," James said, still a bit dazed.
Lily got up to join her friends at the other end of the Gryffindor table, and the three shameful Marauders rejoined James.
"So, what do you think?" James asked. "Do you owe me an apology?"
"We're sorry," Remus, Sirius, and Peter sighed.
"But not as sorry as you'll be," Sirius added. "Mark my words, Prongs. You're going to be stuck with that girl for the rest of your life."
"Maybe," James grinned. "Don't jinx it!"
"No promises there," Sirius grumbled.
And so, despite Sirius' best efforts, James and Lily fell in love.