A/N: So today (Aug. 21) is Tina's birthday! Why? Because I decided she should have the same one as me. This is a little birthday gift for her. I hope to have the other two chapters up later today.

"Marshmallow vodka? Seriously, Coop?"

"They were out of vanilla."

"So you thought marshmallow was the next best thing?"

"You know, some teenagers would thank their cool older brother for risking prison just to help them and their little friends have a wild party."

"It's not a party," Blaine said. He had only invited the other four New Directions seniors over. "And I'm sure it's not going to be wild. Especially when all we have to drink is marshmallow vodka."

Artie and Sam and Tina all showed up at the same time. "Keys, please," Cooper said, greeting them at the door. Tina took off her hat and mittens before handing them over. Cooper looked at the others.

"Dude, we carpooled," Artie said. Tina's parents' minivan accommodated his wheelchair really easily, and the Hudmel house was right on the way from Artie's to Blaine's.

"Right," Cooper said, putting the keys in his pocket. "I'll be in my room if you need anything. Be responsible!" He handed Blaine a glass bowl filled with condoms.

"Uh, Blaine? What did you have in mind for us tonight?" Artie asked.

Blaine's cheeks were scarlet. "Nothing like what Cooper apparently thinks."

"Good," Sam said, "because my orgy outfit is at the cleaner's."

"Well I, for one, am up for anything," Tina announced. "Let's drink!"

"Should we wait for Brittany?" Blaine asked. "Is she coming, Sam?"

"No. I mean, not here anyway."

"Oh, okay." Blaine led them to the kitchen and got out glasses and ice. "So, marshmallow-flavored vodka is apparently a real product," he explained, showing them Cooper's purchase. The bottle was pastel-colored.

"No," Sam said. "I object to that on principle."

"Please tell me you have some Jägermeister in the back of a cupboard or something," Artie said. "If I drink something like that, it'll do irreparable harm to my reputation."

"Seriously, guys?" Tina said. "You're worried that this vodka isn't masculine enough for you? Well, that's just insulting to Blaine and me."

"It's not insulting to me," Blaine said. "I'd much rather have the Jägermeister."

"Babies," Tina said. She poured a couple shots' worth of the sweet, clear liquid over ice and topped off the glass with orange juice. "Oh, my God. This is so good. Here, try some," she said, holding her glass out.

Artie took it first and took a sip. "How can you drink this and not gag?" he asked.

Tina took the glass back and took another large swallow. "You're right," she said. "It could use some grenadine. Blaine? Do you have any grenadine?"

Blaine looked in the fridge and was amazed to discover that he did. He handed the mostly full bottle to Tina, and she poured enough into her glass to color the concoction a deep red. She took a sip and announced, "Now I can't taste the vodka at all." So she poured some more in. "Ah, much better." She guzzled the whole glass.

"Uh, Tina? You know you just had like three drinks, right?"

"No, but this stuff isn't strong at all." She stood and felt just a tiny bit lightheaded. "Okay, maybe it's not totally weak. But come on, you guys! This is a party, right?"

"Not really," Blaine said.

"Artie, are you really gonna drink that stuff?" Sam asked, noticing Artie pouring some in a glass.

Artie shrugged. "It's gross, but how bad can it be if you do shots?" He poured shots into two more glasses and passed one each to Sam and Blaine. Artie was the only one who drank his whole shot. Blaine took a sip and pronounced it way too sweet, and Sam refused to even touch his. Tina made herself another drink with the ice and the orange juice and the grenadine.

Cooper was upstairs trying to learn his lines for an upcoming audition. But there were a lot of them and no one to help him and the laughter from downstairs was making it hard to concentrate. It sounded like the girl laughing the most—she seemed like fun. Good looking too. If Blaine weren't gay they'd make a cute couple.

He wished he'd invited some of his own friends over, because sitting alone in his room while his little brother had a party was boring. The problem was he hadn't really stayed in touch with many people in Ohio. He had tons of friends in L.A., some of them really famous, but in Ohio, eh, not so much. He had only even come back for a surprise party for his parents' anniversary, as soon as they got back from their trip tomorrow.

Oh, he just thought of someone who would probably want to come over. There was this girl three grades above him who used to babysit Blaine sometimes. Brandi Jelinek. God, she was pretty. She had these boobs that were way bigger than the girls in Cooper's class had. Plus her face and whatever was nice. He'd help her out sometimes because, let's face it, Blaine could be kind of a brat. Plus, there was some undeniable chemistry between them, though of course they'd never been able to act on it at the time. But now...wow, she would get such a kick out of hearing from him now that he was famous.

Brandi Jelinek was not that common a name, so he was able to track her down on Google pretty easily. If the info he found was up-to-date, she still lived in Lima. He called her up.

"Hello, is this Miss Jelinek?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"I was wondering if you'd be available to babysit tonight."

"Who is this?"

Cooper laughed. He shouldn't have expected her to recognize his voice; it was a lot deeper now. "It's Cooper!" When he got no response he added, "Anderson." Still nothing. "You used to babysit my baby brother Blaine."

"Blaine...Oh, right! He was such a cute kid! How is he? Wow, he must be almost grown up by now."

"Yeah, yeah. He just turned eighteen, in fact."

"Wow, I can't believe it. I feel so old all of a sudden. So are you putting together some kind of memory book or something for his birthday? Is that why you're calling?"

"No. Not exactly, I mean. I did put together something like that, but I gave it to him already." He hadn't, and anyway Blaine's birthday was a month ago. "I just came across some...memorabilia that reminded me of you and it made me wonder if you'd like to catch up."

"Oh..."

"You could stop by, if you'd like, see the post-birthday boy, have a drink..."

"What, tonight?"

"Well, I'm only in town for a brief visit. For his party tomorrow. I have to get back to L.A. for an important audition. You probably already know that I'm an actor; I'm in the guy in the Free Credit Rating Today commercials."

"No, I...I don't really watch TV."

"That's okay. I could show you some of them."

"Oh, thanks, but I couldn't possibly get a babysitter for my kids on such short notice. Ironic, right?"

"Heh, yeah."

"Is there a party or something this weekend? I'd love to stop by with my husband and wish Blaine a happy birthday."

"No. I mean there is, but it's just family."

"Oh. That's too bad. Well, tell him I said happy birthday anyway. Take care." She hung up without even letting him say good-bye.

Downstairs, Sam was searching the kitchen for something to drink other than that vile, vile marshmallow vodka. There was no way in hell he was even going to touch that stuff. The Andersons had a liquor cabinet, but it was locked. Way to show your trust in your kid, guys! Sam was the only holdout. Artie had had a few shots and even Blaine had broken down and had some. "That is just wrong," he'd told them when they drank it.

"Yeah," Tina agreed, taking a long drink of her third glass. "It's crazy and wrong and surprisingly delicious."

There was nothing in the kitchen. Not even cooking sherry. Sam had to face it: he was going to be the only sober person.