The characters y rights of this story belong all to the author of Kaichou wa maid-sama, Hiro Fuyiwara.

KITTEN LOVE TACTICS

Humans are strange, aren't they?

When they love someone they say idiot things, they ridicule themselves, they laugh for everything, they take their time just to hold hands… They are such complicated that they exasperate me. Because I wonder: smelling the butt of the one you loves is easier and faster, isn't it? Yes, they should smell the butt of each other and everything should be of an absurd facility.

I stretch a moment, opening the mouth of tiredness.

Oh, there's my owner, the green-eyed blond. I observe him carefully, with my head following his movements. He looks nervous, or rather, I smell his nervousness. I take this opportunity to go begging caresses, a gesture that is reassuring and besides I like.

- Meooow? –I ask twisting around his legs–.

- Do you want to eat? I'm going to take you food.

I don't wanna eat! I want to say him. But it doesn't matter, I know he doesn't understand me. Humans… I begin to shred the sofa to catch his eye. He turns and looks at me. Bingo! He approaches, catches me by belly (let me go, brutal blond!) and put me off the sofa for next letting me on the floor. He's not going to caress me, he's soooooo nervous for that. Worse for him. I bite him (with moderation, I'm not really so bad) in the hand and he departs with a smile.

- You're exactly like her. A wild beast. I hope that you won't scratch her when she'll come, will you, Licht?

So that's the matter!

The girl, the one of amber eyes.

Just when I was thinking about her, the human arrives. My owner plunges to the entrance as if there was a lion chasing after him, but I realize that he tries to take a calm air when he opens the door. Behind there's her, the girl. By thousand mice! She's just arrived and she's already red! Is it a disease or is it that she always has to be flushed when she sees my owner?

- Hi, U…sui –she says slowly–.

- I was already beginning to die thinking that maybe you were not going to come.

Stop saying idiot things, silly human! Smell her butt and done! But no, you have to take her jacket and making her pass to the living room. See, now you both are sitting on the couch without knowing what to say! Damned humans...

As I am a gentleman cat, I approach to you, just to give you a topic of conversation. I climb on the legs of the girl. The human looks at me and caress my head.

- Hello Licht… –she mumbles while I begin to purr–.

For those who don't know, purring has two objectives: make understand to the one who is caressing you that you like it and want him to continue. Yes, I'm a very smart cat.

- So that's what you wanted, isn't it? –ask Usui–.

You've understood a little late, my owner.

- Misaki, do you want me to do a massage to you?

The human girl flushes and rises sharply.

- Meooooooooooooow! –I protest while I jump to the ground in a perfect somersault (please, I have a reputation to maintain)–.

- Perverted evil alien from outer space! You call me saying to come urgently to your apartment, that you've a problem when everything is perfect except your hair slightly tousled and also says perverted thin…!

- Since when do you look at my hair, Misaki?

These humans, always fighting. I stare them with curiosity from a table. The two are now raised, my owner looking dangerously to the human girl. That's it, attacks! Come on, smell her butt! But what are you doing holding hands? No, no! Oh please, now you kiss her! Meoow, Meow, Meow. Well, at least she puts her arms as humans say around your neck.

I guess that it's not so bad. But it could be better.

It's alright! My feline mind has had a wonderful idea! My owner, you'll have to give me a thousand canned food for the help I'm going to give to you.

I carefully approach the table in front of the sofa. A beautiful vase of flowers is over. And the best thing is that this vase has water. Wed, wed, wed (* typical evil kitten laugh *), it's going to rain on their heads. I wait a little, just to increase the suspense, and suddenly I go into action! I push the table towards the sweethearts, the vase flies above them, flowers and water fall beautifully into the hair of both human, humans fall on the sofa and the vase goes out through the window behind the sofa. Oh, I hadn't envisaged the vase out the window. But well, the result is the same: the two humans are on the sofa more embraced than ever.

- Licht! –screams Misaki flushed–.

At her side, Usui is laughing. The human brings closer to him the girl, to whisper in her ear:

- I love this cat. The flowers on the head make you even more beautiful, Misa-chan.

Proud, I turn back with a last "Meow" as goodbye for Misaki, and I go sleeping in my bed, thinking of the canned food I'm going to win.

I definitely loved writing this one-shot, I think it's one of my favorites. It is simply the point of view of Licht that was hilarious hahaha

I hope you liked and please, don't hesitate to leave me your reviews (as would say Licht please-meoooow)!

PS: I'm not English and I speak it more or less well, so please, forgive me for all my faults! Don't punch me! XD