I'M ALIVE! I SWEAR!

I thought I shold probably update more than once a year... although at this rate, I'm on par with the actual manga...

It doesn't help that I started Teacher's College last year and got into Cosplay... cause my anxiery totally lets me have enough time to do everything...

This is an upload for Kanda's Birthday (not June 6th here, but I'm pretty sure I'm all good in Japaan)

Hope you're all doing well!

Allen was rather grateful for the seclusion the house offered. Had he been in Cross' house or his apartment, someone might have seen his head of white hair peeking out the window to look for his guest-to-be.

This was all a rather new concept to him, having someone come over only for sex. Normally his sex life involved an element of relationship and love. With Kanda, it was different. Sure he was attracted to the young man, Kanda was undeniably handsome, good face, strong body, but his attitude left something to be desired.

Not that he was an easy person to get along with. All his previous partners complained that he wouldn't open up to them, not in the way they claimed to do to him. The young man was also easy to anger and was more stubborn than a mule. It didn't help matters that had to sneak around to deal with mobsters, leaving his former boyfriends suspecting him of affairs. 'Like father like son,' one had told him. Allen nearly broke his nose for that comment.

Perhaps this was always what he wanted. Some physical contact, the illusion of a relationship and caring, and if it ended badly, they would never see each other again. But if it ended well…

Allen looked up from his brewing dinner to the window, the balcony still empty.

If it went well, what could it mean for them? Would they still go their separate ways, never to talk again?

Or would something else happen?

Could something else happen?

White hair shook at the notion.

He was being an idiot.

The last time he had been so hopeful, he had gotten his heart shattered. he had gotten his heartbroken in time with Kanda'

"What the Hell are you doing?"

Allen nearly jumped out of his skin at the deep voice. Turning, he watched as the young man casually strode into the living room, stretching his arms after climbing up the balcony.

"What the Hell are you doing!?" the younger retorted, "didn't need to give me a damn heart attack!"

"Where else would I come from!?" the young man pointed out, "the door is obvious to my mother!"

Grumbling, Allen turned to the pot, his spoon constantly stirring the sauce.

"Can you grab some plates from up there?" a scarred hand pointed to one of the cupboards.

"Thought you invited me over to have sex," Kanda snapped, doing what Allen asked regardless.

"I did," Allen responded, "but I thought why not treat you to dinner first?"

"Because we're not dating, just fucking," the elder told him, arms crossing over his chest.

"Still doesn't mean I can't have dinner," silver eyes glanced up, "but you need to wait for me to finish it before we start."

Muttering something under his breath, Kanda made to move away from the stove, a bubble popping drawing his attention back to the dish.

"What the hell are you making?" Kanda asked, his nose wrinkling at the smell of the sauce bubbling away in the pot.

"Food," Allen replied smartly, his lips smirking at the look the Japanese shot him.

"Smells disgusting," the Japanese muttered, an elbow digging into his sides.

"Haven't added the spices yet," the younger teased, "and it tastes better than it smells."

"Right," the other murmured in disbelief, "how drunk were you the first time you ate it?"

"Stone cold sober," Allen retorted as he shook in the spices and herbs, the large wooden spoon swirling in the pot, the end covered in red as the younger blew on it. "Here," the other grinned, his hand held under the spoon as he offered it to Kanda, the Japanese looking wearily at it, "just try it."

Kanda said nothing as he looked from the younger to the spoon, his shoulders sagging as he sighed in defeat, his lips lowering to taste the sauce, the satisfied smirk on Allen's face as Kanda licked his lips.

"Well?" the younger pressed, "how is it?"

"Not terrible," Kanda admitted begrudgingly, "but not great."

"Good," Allen grinned, "so, you want a plate?"

"Excuse me?" the Japanese asked incredulously, the younger smiling up at him.

"You're here, you might as well have some dinner," the young man explained, "and since you like it…"

"Never said that-"

"Here," Allen offered him a steaming plate, the Japanese taking it with an odd expression.

"I give you a zero for presentation…"

"Well, you can always go join your parents for dinner," the younger teased, as he turned to the fridge, "now, do you want some white wine?"

"The ten dollar bottle or the twelve?"

"Fifteen," the younger joked as he pulled it out, "I splurged!"

Kanda, unsurprisingly, did not laugh, forcing Allen to shrug off the stare and pour two glasses of wine.

"I didn't say-"

"Just take the damn thing," Allen sighed, "I'm not about to get you drunk on a bottle of wine, but a glass isn't going to kill you. I hope."

"You've seen me drink," Kanda told him, taking the glass all the same.

"But not your tolerance," the younger pointed out, clinking glasses with the young man before he took a gulp from the glass.

"Cheers!"

Kanda raised an eyebrow before he followed Allen to the couch, the younger sitting comfortably on the rug, Kanda choosing to lounge on the couch.

"You aren't sitting on furniture?" Kanda commented as he sniffed the forkful of dinner.

"I like being on the floor," Allen told him while swallowing a mouthful of food, "problem?"

"Only problem here is your head," the elder muttered before he took a careful taste.

"That was almost sweet," the young man murmured, stuffing his face even more, "good thing I remembered it was you."

"How else am I supposed to fend off the fiancée's my mother is trying to set me up with?" Kanda grumbled, before the elder continued to eat his food, a glimmer of happiness as he didn't hear a single complaint from Kanda. Had Allen had some more patience, he and the elder might have sat in silence eating, but his questions would not be ignored.

"So, tell me," Allen asked as he sipped his wine, "why is your mother thinking of setting you up with a fiancée?"

"She thinks I should've married three years ago," Kanda muttered bitterly as he slipped another forkful into his mouth, "see, my parent married young, really young, and my mom wants me to be just like my dad-"

"And let me guess," the younger interrupted, "you're not fond of that idea?"

"I took entirely different courses in an entirely different university," Kanda smirked, "my hair drives my parents insane as they think I should have it no longer than at my chin which was the case until I was twelve-"

His cobalt eyes narrowed as Allen nearly spat out his wine, the younger giggling like an idiot.

"What?!"

"Y-You h-had a bob cut!?" Allen laughed, the Japanese reaching down in an attempt to smack him.

"For the record, I did," Kanda growled, "and don't think it was styled either; it was so straight I could've drawn lines with it."

"Seriously!?" the younger giggled, "wow!"

"It was terrible," the Japanese grumbled as his head hung in his hand, "God I hated it!"

"But it's over now, right," Allen laughed, "right?"

"As long as I lock my door at night and keep away from my mother with anything sharp in her hand yeah," Kanda muttered, a chuckle escaping his lips at the sight of Allen giggling madly. "It's not funny," the Japanese grinned, "it's actually quite terrifying; she looks a bit like rabid cat when she's pissed!"

"I take it that happens a lot," the younger teased, Kanda's eyes narrowing at the insinuation.

"What makes you say that?" the Japanese asked as he sipped his drink.

"Like mother like son," Allen sang, his head ducking as the other swung at him, Kanda looking a mixture of both angered and joking.

"To answer your question, smartass," Kanda growled teasingly, "yes, she does. Solves the mystery of why my father stays locked in his study though."

"And why you spend so much time over here," the younger grinned, "you know, besides how much you love me."

"Fucking isn't love dumbass," the elder muttered, swallowing his wine, "but I'd rather deal with your crap than hers."

The two sat in silence for a moment longer, Allen swallowing his last few mouthfuls quickly.

"Alright," Allen grunted, the plates and glasses set aside for the younger to come onto Kanda's lap, "now for your main event."

"You seem chipper," the elder commented, his brow raised.

"Got my spring back in my step," his scar wrinkling as he grinned, "something brought it back."

"More like someone," Kanda refuted, Allen nudging him with his knee.

"I was referring to your dick," Allen remarked, "gave me quite a bounce…"

Allen hummed quietly as he kissed Kanda, his hand running up the strong chest and over Kanda's broad shoulder.

"Told you my cooking was good," the younger whispered, parting for a moment before returning to the firm mouth.

"What makes you say that?" Kanda asked, his fingers slipping up the slim body.

"Cause you taste like it," Allen grinned, his forehead resting on the other's.

"Just cause you like the taste doesn't mean I do," the elder informed him sourly, Allen only sighing in response.

"You're right," he murmured, "clearly you finish off plates of things you absolutely hate."

Kanda grimaced at just how right the young man could be.

Deciding to focus on the lips rather than the conversation, Kanda only let Allen lead for a moment or two longer before he began pushing back, harder.

"Ah… hah… mmm,"

Allen squeezed tighter on the back of Kanda's shirt, his hips lifting as fingers rubbed his backside through his jeans.

His shirt began to bunch up as long fingers slipped up his lines. Groaning as he was forced to let go of the elder, Allen help Kanda's search of his body by pulling his shirt up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor.

"Go slow," Allen whispered, his head coming to rest back on the elder's shoulder while he returned to grip him.

Kanda said nothing but hum as his tongue extended to the pale flesh, his slick muscle beginning to trail circles over the skin.

"Ah… Kanda…"

Allen squeaked as a shock ran through his body, his hips twitching involuntarily as the tongue ran over his nipples.

Kanda could feel the younger beginning to pant heavily, his hands reaching for something to keep him as grounded as possible.

"K-K-Kanda-ahh!"

The pale skin began to flush a deep red as the tongue flicked back and forth over the sensitive bud, teeth dipping in to scrape over before the muscle soothed any potential injury he might have caused.

Kanda kept his hands busy, reaching to rub at the younger's lower body, careful to avoid the bulge Allen desperately wanted touched.

Allen could hear the sounds Kanda was making as lips left the pale skin before returning to the flesh, his hands splaying on the curve of Allen's spine. The younger rocked back and forth with each kiss of the skin, humming in contention.

It wasn't nearly enough for him.

The elder seemed desperate to try and drive Allen crazy, rubbing and pulling at his body while deliberately avoiding the places the younger simply needed touching.

Allen panted heavily in the other's ear, whimpering and whining as he encouraged Kanda closer to the places that needed the fingers. He felt, rather than saw, the young man smirking, knowing that he was making the younger squirm was enough payback for the consistent teasing.

"Come on," Allen panted, his hands reaching for the strong shoulders , "hurry up."

"Damn you're needy," Kanda muttered, his own hands gripping the pale thighs to pull the hips towards his.

"That's a problem for you?" the younger couldn't help but tease, finger unconsciously to his lips.

Kanda smirked somewhat at the coy smile, unable to control himself.

"Not really," he whispered, his lips returning to Allen's, the younger already opening his mouth as an invitation.

For someone who was as unused to sex as Allen claimed to be, he was quite a good kisser. Tongues swirled against each other, mismatched fingers running over the elder's strong back muscles while Kanda's own fingers roamed elsewhere.

A part of him hated that the two didn't have any lubricant, but another part told him that Allen really didn't mind all that much. The entire body jerked as a finger slid into him, small whimpers of pain escaped Allen's lips at the contact. Breathing slow and trying to control himself, the younger continued to kiss and suck at the other's mouth, willing his body to relax himself for later.

Shuffling his hips against the touch, the younger slid his pants off his upper thighs, his body shuddering in the cool night air before the sudden rush of blood and sweat warmed them up.

"What if we just went in like this?"

The breath was warm against his ear, the voice deep and teasing, lips to the lobe as teeth tugged the skin downward.

"Th-That… that might -hah!"

A second digit entered the pale body, the hips jerking up with the fingers following.

"That might what?" Kanda asked, continuing his theme of ignoring Allen's wants and whimpers, "make you feel good?"

"A-Ah-Ass…" Allen hissed out, hating just how right Kanda could be when it came to his body.

They were still so new to each other, and yet, Allen had never felt so open with another.

"H-Hurry up," the younger repeated urgently, "now, please."

"Only you would add please in the middle of foreplay," Kanda muttered, stretching the young man even further.

Biting back his sarcastic response, lest his partner decide to use that as an excuse to further his torture, Allen let his body lie back onto the couch, his chest protruding up and supported on his forearms.

"I tried to be nice."

"Ah.. hah… AH!"

Allen screamed as his body rocked on the couch. His right hand reached around to grip the couch cushions while the other lifted to grip the back of the furniture, his torso effectively lifting up and off the cushions.

Kanda felt legs around his hips tightening as the chest beneath him rose, the mouth panting and crying out.

"Oh… Oh God!"

The younger couldn't stop the words tumbling from his lips. Eventually, his arms were unable to hold himself up, his back falling harmlessly to the furniture.

Kanda's entrance into him was sudden and painful. Hands holding the hips, the elder all but forced his way into the young man's body, Allen's entrance tightening around the intrusion. Thanks to the younger's impatience, Kanda was encouraged to press on before he could enjoy the feeling around him.

His thrusts were sharp and deliberate, making sure to fulfil more desire than cause pain. It was then he saw the difficulty given that Allen's face was contorted into an unidentifiable mixture of the two.

Kanda watched as the mismatched hands reached down between them, the fingers extending to grip his member, slowly tugging in time with Kanda's thrusts.

"No you don't."

Allen whimpered quietly as his hand was removed by a strong grip on his wrist. Pulled above his head, the younger was forced to look up at Kanda, his lips pulling into a pout.

"Kanda-"

"Too easy for you," the elder told him, licking his lips as he thrust harder into the younger.

"Then-gnn-go-ah-deeper!"

In response, Kanda gripped the pale thigh and proceeded to push it up, the younger's calf now on his shoulder, letting the young man fulfill his partner's request.

The result was a more primal, guttural moan escaping from Allen's lips.

Knuckles turning white against the fabric he clung too, the younger was now on his side, lungs heaving as he was continually slammed into. Allen couldn't stop the drool that pooled on the cushions, his mouth open and tongue extended as he panted hoarsely.

He almost hated how well Kanda could play his body, even after such a short period of time.

Each thrust into him was euphoric; it was impressive that the younger had any thoughts at all with Kanda repeatedly hitting his prostate.

The rawness of their sex brought another level, the pain mixing in with the pleasure to create something Allen had never felt before.

Screaming as his body was played and pushed beyond what he knew, the younger hiccoughed and cried, his lungs trying to fill the desperate need oxygen his brain was crying out for. Had he been thinking more clearly, he would have been quite grateful for the solitude the house offered, especially as he rocked against the strong body.

His teeth found purchase with the material, praying that he wouldn't have to explain how his teeth marks ended up on the leather.

Screams now muffled, Kanda continued to thrust into the pale body, silently wondering just how the younger managed to get his body as limber as it was. Time and time again Allen had jumped over the fences and bent his body backwards during sex. It wasn't as though he was a stick either. Despite his smaller stature, Kanda was impressed with the abdomen and biceps Allen had achieved. His fingers ran over the taunt oblique's; it wasn't particularly unattractive to look at.

Focused on stifling himself, the younger hardly notice the hand n his body until it ran under his pale locks and over his cheek. Only then did Allen look up to the young man, his heart quivering at the sight of the somewhat softened face and the unreadable expression in the deep blue orbs.

"Yuu…"

Allen gasped loudly as he felt something warm fill him. His body responded almost immediately, tightening around Kanda's now flaccid member and his own erupting in euphoria. His last few words all a jumble and Kanda's face blurring with the tears welling in his orbs.

Gasping for air, the younger looked up from his position, cheek pressing into the soft material.

Kanda was careful as he let Allen's body relax on the couch. Still to his side, Allen was silent, save for his panting. The elder moved to sit on the side of the couch, feet touching the floor and his hands touching his knees.

The silver eyes only moved when he saw the other body stand and reach for his clothes. Pants slipped over the strong thighs and hair slipped back up in the high ponytail before Kanda stood to search for his shirt.

"You're not gonna crash here?"

The younger almost hated asking, hating how lonely he sounded, how desperate he was.

"My mother will be pissed if I don't get back," Kanda informed him quietly, shoving his arms into the sleeves, "so no."

"Didn't seem to mind it last time," the younger muttered, hand scratching his head.

"She wasn't suspecting something then," the young man retorted, watching as Allen winced slightly as he sat up, grimacing as he looked down at the couch.

"Shit," he muttered, "gotta clean all this up…"

Kanda sighed as he looked at the damage they had done to the couch before he looked down to a somewhat exhausted Allen.

"Come here."

Surprised, the silver eyes looked up to an open hand, Kanda bending over to help the young man up.

"What's this?" Allen smiled weakly, "being nice all of a sudden?"

Pulled up sharply, the younger was lifted into strong arms. Gripping onto the other, Allen looked up to Kanda, the elder continued to walk him to the large mattress.

"If you don't get a good night's sleep, you get more bitchy than usual," Kanda told him as he put Allen on the bed.

"But the couch-"

"Just clean it up tomorrow," the elder turned around to walk back to his exit, "and get some sleep."

Allen was left to the darkness, his tired mind confused. Perhaps Kanda was ill or just tired, which would explain how he seemed to actually give a damn about him. Slipping under the covers, the silver eyes closed as he complied with Kanda's order, promising that he'd use the next day to figure out what was making his stomach flip.

Maybe his food wasn't as good as he thought it was.

I'm still working on these stories but it doesn't help that I get new ideas that are like "hey... write me..."

Have I ever mentioned how amazing you all are? You're amazing! Thank you for your patience with me and the other writers that are trying to balance life and hobbies :)