Breakdown
by Samantha
[email protected]
Rating: PG or PG13 for rape?
Category: Rape
Timeline: After IOTH, definitely
Spoilers: IOTH maybe
Keywords: JMPR, or is it?
Summary: Can Miss Parker handle the loss of control experienced after a
rape?
Disclaimer: All original characters are property of NBC. I am not making any money off of this, that's why it's called fan fiction. Please do not sue me, seeing as I have absolutely no money.
Author's Note: This is the first part of a series. I don't know how many will make the completed series, but they will each have a different name. Have fun!
Blue Cove, Delaware The Centre
Miss Parker paced back and forth as Broots typed on the keyboard with a frenzied pace. Parker had received a lead concerning Jarod's whereabouts. Broots was checking it out as she paced. Her mind willed him to go much faster. Jarod seemed so close, she could taste him.
The chase had been going on for years. Parker wanted it to end. She had grown weary of the game of cat and mouse. All she wanted was to relax behind a desk and not stress about what her favorite antagonist was up to. Ever since her father died, Parker's heart just wasn't into the chase anymore.
"W-we've got it, Miss Parker," whispered Broots. Parker stopped pacing. Broots just stared at her dumbly, so Parker responded with her trademark, "What!"
Broots started visibly at the statement that was spat out like some bad milk.
"H-he's here, in Delaware. Dover. Apparently, he's been pretending to be a c-criminal profiler." Miss Parker's ice blue eyes shot daggers into Broots' eyes as she ordered, "Stay here, Broots. Syd and I will go check this out." Parker put on her leather overcoat and started walking to the door. She stopped at the door frame and turned to face Broots. She arched an eyebrow before she added icily, "Oh, and Broots? Do something about that nasty speech impediment." Her eyebrow returned to its original place before she walked out the door, her heels clicking loudly on the hard floor. Broots shivered and muttered to himself, "She needs a vacation."
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Dover, Delaware
"Young?" Jarod turned around and faced who had addressed him.
"I think this criminal likes the attention he gets from the media. Each killing is more and more spectacular in its execution. Pardon the pun. Also, the victims are gradually becoming high profile people. The son of a police commissioner, the daughter of a mayor. I have a hunch." Jarod looked around the room to see if they were interested. He continued, "I think the governor's children are next. Both of them."
A couple of men thoughtfully considered what profiler Jarod Young had said. A few others discussed the idea amongst themselves. One scoffed, "Right! Why both? This killer does one and one only." Jarod smiled patiently before answering, "Media attention. Killing identical twins would get a lot of coverage." Gotcha, thought Jarod. He had been trying to get this guy. Now Jarod had his way out. No one would ever have suspected a police chief for a serial killer. But Jarod did. He knew he was right, and had just set the trap.
The police chief was the one who had scoffed at Jarod's hunch. Jarod had asked the governor to be in on this from the beginning. His twin sons should be very appealing for a glory-seeking psychopath. All Jarod had to do was wait.
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24 Hours Later
"Parker, there's an awful lot of police activity here. Maybe we shouldn't press the issue with Jarod," plead Sydney. As usual, it fell on deaf ears. The two had stayed in Dover for a day while tracking Jarod down. Part of Sydney didn't want Jarod to be brought back to the Centre. Another part of him didn't want to get involved with police.
Apparently, something big had gone down at this scene. Police were everywhere. Miss Parker scanned the massive crowd with eyes like a hawk. Her eyes stopped their furious back and forth movement when she spotted him. Jarod looked like he was speaking to news reporters. Parker sighed in disgust. She would have to wait until he was fairly isolated before she could make her move.
"Why do you feel so strongly about returning Jarod to the Centre?" asked a small voice inside her head. Had she not known any better, she might've thought it was her voice.
"Mamma, get out of my head," Parker muttered to herself. Sometimes, she hated those voices. They were really beginning to resemble a conscience. In Parker's line of work, it was best not to have a conscience. If you grew a conscience, you were bound to wind up dead in a deserted alleyway somewhere.
Parker's right hand began to tremble slightly. She rolled her eyes and shook the offending hand, rubbing it to try to get rid of the tremors that had suddenly appeared. Sydney took notice and asked, "Did you quit smoking again, Parker?" Parker arched an eyebrow and lied, "No, I just haven't had any time to go out and get some. Ratboy here's been running me in so many circles. I'm going to bring him in this time, Freud."
Sydney laughed mentally. She knew just as well as he did that they would return to the Centre empty-handed. But tonight, Parker was determined to break their losing streak. Sydney watched as Parker's eyes lit up for a split second, then she was off. He sighed and shook his head sadly. Parker would wear herself to death if she kept on in the way that she was going.
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Jarod stopped behind a tree, catching his breath. He honestly didn't expect Miss Parker to track him to this pretend. He was sure he had covered his tracks, but--There's no time to think about that now! he practically shouted to himself. He pulled his gun from its holster and peered around the trunk of the tree.
He was greeted by the image of a bullet imbedding itself with astonishing velocity into the tree trunk merely centimeters away from Jarod's head. She just about shot me! his insides screamed. Jarod stepped back behind the safety of the massive tree trunk and contemplated his next move.
"It's time to come home, Wonder Boy," stated Miss Parker with a viciously calm tone. Jarod shook his head and whispered, "Not this night, Parker." The shock of seeing Miss Parker with guns ablaze finally wore off, and Jarod was back in control of his instincts. He picked up the police radio he was still carrying and walked from behind the tree.
Miss Parker wondered what on Earth he was doing. Some genius, she thought. Parker leveled her gun at his head and warned, "Put your hands up, Jarod! Or I'll--"
"What, shoot me?" asked Jarod with a sly grin on his face. Uh-oh. Parker knew that grin. That was a "gotcha" grin. Parker swore under her breath.
"Tsk, tsk. You really shouldn't use that kind of language, Parker. They say profanity is a strong expression of a weak mind. Now, does that really describe you?" Jarod chuckled deeply. He then went on to say, "Oh, I would get rid of that weapon if I were you. I just radioed for help from the police. I said some woman was threatening an officer." Jarod grinned again.
Parker wanted to swear again, but abstained from doing so. She was not going to let him get to her. Before she could chuck the gun, Jarod took it and let the partially spent magazine fall to ground. Jarod smiled when the officers came.
"Luckily, her gun was unloaded. But in my professional opinion, she's nuts. She tried to tell me she worked for this dark corporation that's more powerful than the U.S. government. What a crock!"
If looks could kill, Jarod would have been cremated and scattered to the winds within seconds. Parker was infuriated, a glare of animosity plastered to her face as the police officers took her "downtown. She watched as Jarod went off whistling The Andy Griffith Show's opening theme.
"All right, Barney Fife, hands off!" Parker spat out. She mentally thanked Jarod for giving her some new material for her smart-aleck comments. Miss Parker walked with her head held high towards the cop car.
"So much for bringing in Jarod tonight," stated Sydney. He was following Miss Parker and her escorts in amusement. He knew his Jarod wouldn't allow himself to be caught.
Parker glared at Sydney, yet said nothing. She knew it was wise not to say anything. She had shoved her foot in her mouth again. Parker was about to find out that patience was indeed a virtue.
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Blue Cove, Delaware
Miss Parker shut the heavy wooden door to her home and dropped her keys on the floor. In her head she ticked off the various things that had gone wrong with the nights events: Jarod got away, Parker was arrested, spent the majority of the night in jail, spent all the money she had on hand for bail, and most importantly, she had barely missed her target. You didn't barely miss, you nearly hit him. Then, what would you have done, Darling? nagged her mother's voice. Parker really disliked her inner sense right now. The voices reminded her that she was always wrong and that Jarod was always right. She didn't need that tonight.
Parker walked upstairs to her room. She kicked her shoes off and turned on the light. She sat on the edge of her huge bed and looked at herself in the full-length mirror in the corner. My eyes must be traveling somewhere, she thought to herself, 'cause they look like they're carrying heavy-duty Samsonite luggage. Parker chuckled softly.
She looked once more in the mirror. Her heart stopped as she saw the intruder standing directly behind her. Before she could turn around, the intruder had his huge hand covering her face while his free arm prevented her from moving. The phone's loud jangling startled the both of them. Parker whimpered and looked obviously over the phone as if to say, "If I don't pick that up, someone will come over here checking on me." Parker hoped her attacker understood at least that much.
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Jarod truly felt sorry about having to make Miss Parker stay in the holding cell at the jail. It was for this reason he chose to call and apologize, sort of. He stood up and looked out the window of his hotel while he waited for her to pick up. Usually, she picked up after the first ring. But he had let it ring for about a minute and she still hadn't answered. He called earlier and found out she paid bail after eleven hours. She lasted longer than he'd predicted. Just as he'd made up his mind to hang up, Parker picked up the phone. Jarod smiled as he waited for her characteristic greeting. He was disappointed.
"Hello?" answered Parker. Jarod thought she sounded a little shaky. He decided to be normal. Maybe she was upset by spending time with common riff raff.
"Whatever happened to 'what'?" Jarod asked with light teasing in his tone.
"Hi, Mamma. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to lunch. I had to catch up with an old friend." Mamma? All teasing was gone from his mind. Something was up. He asked with real concern, "Parker, are you okay?"
"No, I can't see you tomorrow, but Friday's free." The rest of the answer made no sense, but he was concentrating on the first word.
"Is someone in there with you?" Jarod asked.
"Uh-huh, yeah. That'll work." Jarod's heart pounded a little harder as he asked, "Has that person hurt you?"
"No, not yet. But I think he will. He would be great for that job, Mamma." Now it was Jarod's turn to swear under his breath. His mind raced for his next words.
"Parker, be careful. I'll be there as soon as I can."
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"Okay, Mamma. See you on Friday. Love you, bye." Parker hung up the phone instants before she was thrown onto her bed by the stranger. She suppressed a scream as he ripped open her silk blouse. This isn't happening, she lied to herself. The man placed one of his monstrous paws over her mouth just to insure she wouldn't make any extra noise. Parker, deciding to fight, bit down hard and clawed his arms with her fingernails. He shouted in surprised pain, but quickly recovered. He produced a sharp knife and placed it against Parker's throat. All of her attempts to fight were forgotten. The man hit her on the cheek for payback of what pain she'd caused him.
Parker closed her eyes. He continued beating her for a few minutes more. By this time, primary shock had numbed her. She felt nothing. Until he mounted her with a savage grin on his face. Oh! The pain...
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Jarod drove like a madman. Thoughts raced through his mind. The optimist in him hoped the intruder just meant to rob her. But the pessimist, the more predominant side, expected the worst.
Jarod's tires squealed as he applied the brakes too quickly. He fishtailed into Miss Parker's mailbox, but that was the least of his worries. As he ran up the driveway, he heard a window break. He also thought he heard someone running away, but he needed to see to Parker first. Jarod bounded up the stairs and took a guess at which room was Parker's. He had guessed correctly. He wanted to weep at the scene that he was viewing.
Parker, naked and battered, lay in the fetal position on her bed, curled up with as much sheet she could gather. Her frame was racked with harsh sobs. She had never felt so violated in her life. The pain!!! She pulled herself tighter and tighter into a little ball. The only thing she wanted to do was shrink inside herself so she would not have to deal with this.
Jarod watched her for a few moments, contemplating how to approach her. At first, he thought she may have simply been beaten. He may have arrived in time, scaring the guy off and preventing a far more worse situation. Then he noticed the stream of blood trickling down her stark white thigh. Jarod couldn't breathe for a moment. He walked slowly to her side.
"Miss Parker," whispered Jarod as he gently touched her shoulder with his fingertips. She moved away violently, backing up on all fours like a wounded, cornered animal. His heart broke for the third time that evening. He moved closer. Parker's glazed over eyes met Jarod's and finally focused. With a small whimper in the back of her throat, Parker wrapped her arms around Jarod's neck so tightly that he thought he might choke. A new wave of tears flooded Parker's face. Jarod joined in silently, gently stroking her silky dark hair and looking upward as bitter tears rolled down his cheeks. Even though she was clinging to Jarod tightly, he felt Miss Parker tremble. Then he knew whoever did this would pay.
Jarod kissed the top of her head lightly, then whispered, "Parker?" She clung harder to Jarod at the sound of his voice.
"I'm here, Parker. We need to get you to the hospital," Jarod reasoned in a soothing voice with a calmness he did not feel. Parker shook her head violently and tightened her grip around Jarod's neck. Jarod sighed heavily and wrapped one arm around Miss Parker's waist and continued stroking her hair with his free hand. He wanted to protest against the injustice. Miss Parker, his hard nosed Ice Queen, had been forced to melt. But he did nothing. He just sat there, giving what meager comfort he had to offer.
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An hour later, Miss Parker had finally fallen silent. Jarod noticed that she had lightened her grip. He tried to reason again, "Parker, you need to go to the hospital. Get checked out." After a long pause, Miss Parker inhaled shakily and nodded. Jarod cautiously got up from the bed and left Miss Parker so she could put some clothes on.
Miss Parker came out a minute or two later wearing track pants and a baggy T-shirt. A flaming red welt was beginning to form around a laceration on her left cheek, and her right eye was swelling up. Parker wouldn't raise her head to look Jarod in the eye. But he saw what was in those eyes: fatigue, pain, and violation. Jarod's heart broke yet again. Then he noticed she was trembling all over. That's when he saw the small patch of red on her shirt. Jarod reacted quickly as she began to fall forwards. He caught her and fell into a sitting position. Parker's head rested in his lap while he lifted the bottom of her shirt up. His eyes closed in pain when he saw the stab wound. Muttering a few choice profane words at whoever did this, Jarod picked up Miss Parker and carried her out to his car.
When he entered the hospital carrying a bleeding Parker, a doctor on his break noticed the two and rushed to help them. Later, Jarod sat in the hallway while the doctor attended to her. He buried his head in his hands and sat that way for a while. He was genuinely scared. Scared that Parker would die; scared that she would never be the same; scared that she would be the same. Part of him wanted her to come out of that room with her eyebrow cocked, gun in hand, saying, "You run, I chase, Wonder Boy." Another part of him wanted her to come out and be gentler; wanted her to be changed.
The door to her room opened, and Jarod looked up with red-rimmed eyes. The doctor walked out holding Parker by the arm, helping her walk. Jarod rushed to her side and slid an arm around her waist to support her. The doctor stated, "She hasn't lost too much blood. I gave her a transfusion, just in case. Her cuts and bruises will heal in time. I'm advising you to get her some psychiatric help. I can refer you to a few people that I really trust." Jarod answered, "I know of one she can go to. Thank you, doctor." The doctor smiled sympathetically and replied, "I'm sorry this happened to her." Jarod swallowed hard and whispered, "So am I."
When the two had returned to Jarod's car, they sat for a while.
"Do you want to go home?" asked Jarod cautiously. The look of panic in her eyes was answer enough for him. He sighed and headed for his hotel.
Jarod held the door open and allowed Miss Parker to go in first. She stood her ground, peering nervously into the unlit hotel room. Jarod understood. He entered and switched on the light. Parker then walked into the room and looked around cautiously.
Jarod shut the door and went to his closet. He retrieved a blue button up shirt and handed it to Parker. He explained, "You can't sleep in that bloody shirt, Parker." Parker nodded slightly, took the shirt, and walked like a zombie to the bathroom. He thought she was just going to change, but he heard the shower turn on. He nodded sadly to himself and walked over to bed. He sat down, intending on waiting for her to get out of the shower. Jarod dozed off after ten minutes.
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An hour later, Parker got out of the steaming shower. She still did not feel clean. She wondered if she would ever be clean again. She put on Jarod's shirt and walked out of the bathroom. She allowed herself a small smile at the sight of Jarod. He lay sprawled on the bed, his hair rumpled, looking like a small boy in a deep sleep.
Parker walked over to the unmade bed, got on it, and pulled the covers over her. The movement made Jarod stir. He turned his head towards Parker and opened his eyes. Seeing that she was in the bed, Jarod moved to leave the bed and sleep on the floor. Miss Parker spoke for the first time since hanging up the phone.
"Please, stay with me," she begged frantically, "I don't want to sleep alone tonight." Tears filled her eyes. She wanted to sleep in his arms. She felt safe in those arms.
"Shh, I'll stay," whispered Jarod, "If you really want me to, I'll stay." The panic began to leave Parker's face as she threw her arms around his neck. Jarod gently rubbed her upper arms and placed a kiss on her forehead. Parker laid her head against his chest and cried soundlessly. Jarod moved to lay down and Parker followed, still holding onto him. He held Parker gently, hoping to soothe her fears. They both fell asleep that way fifteen minutes later.
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Parker awoke the next morning still in Jarod's arms. She allowed herself another smile. Jarod looked for all the world like the little boy she once knew a long, long time ago. She stretched luxuriously, but was stopped short. He's only here because he feels sorry for you. He doesn't want anything to do with you. You're dirty, you're ruined! shouted a strange voice. Her inner sense. She hadn't heard from the voices since--the incident. Come on, Parker. Just say it! You were raped!
"Shut up," she whispered to no one in particular. But it got to her. She left the bed quietly and went into the bathroom.
Jarod awoke to the sound of the shower being turned on. Not again, thought Jarod. Every time Jarod looked at Parker, his heart broke once more. Each time was more painful than the last.
He'd noticed Parker seemed like a shell of her former self. It was very understandable, considering what she had just went through. Jarod stretched as he remembered the night before. When Jarod was just about to fall asleep, he felt Miss Parker loosening her grip and her breath evening out. Before she became completely still, Jarod heard her make what sounding like a small cooing noise, and she nuzzled her head against one of his shoulders. The effect this had on Jarod was confusing. He felt a strong desire to kiss that woman. Even though she had just been through a terrible, degrading ordeal, he wanted to kiss her. Strange.
Jarod rubbed his face and sighed. He didn't know if he should suggest seeing Sydney to Parker. He had a feeling she wouldn't want anyone else to know what had happened to her. But Jarod thought she should talk to Sydney. Jarod's train of thought was stopped when he heard the shower turn off.
Parker coughed loudly. While she was in the shower, she felt a wave of nausea hit her and it brought her to her knees. A stronger wave hit after she had wrapped herself up in a towel. She knelt in front of the toilet and waited for the inevitable.
The stone cold reality of what had happened to her the night before finally hit her. The coldness sank to the bottom of her stomach, and made her body push something back out. Parker grabbed ahold of the toilet bowl with her hands and began to throw up. Parker's wet hair dangled around her face, getting in her path.
Suddenly, a pair of hands were holding her hair back away from her face. Patiently, he waited until Parker was finished. After Parker was relieved of her nausea, she leaned back against Jarod and laid her head on his chest. Her eyes closed and face pale, Parker panted from her exertion. Jarod wiped her mouth with a washcloth. Then he placed a cool, damp cloth against her sweat-covered forehead. He wrapped his arms around her front comfortingly and felt her relax. When Parker was completely calm Jarod asked, "What happened, Parker?"
"I got sick, Wonder Boy," Parker replied lackluster. Then Parker opened her eyes and noticed the vomit in her hair. Tears came to her eyes. Why are you crying? You're the Ice Queen, you don't cry!! screamed the harsh voice. Jarod lightly kissed the top of her head and gently moved her over to the bathtub. He reached up and pulled down the removable shower head from its resting place as Parker laid her head over the edge of the tub. She watched wide eyed as Jarod turned on the water, made sure it was warm, and started to rinse her hair. When he reached for the shampoo, she almost broke into tears again. Why was Jarod being so nice to her? She'd made his life a living hell for six years. She didn't deserve this treatment.
Parker's heart jumped as Jarod's eyes met hers. His gentle fingers massaged the shampoo into her hair, and her scalp. The look in his eyes was not pity. It was something else. Something far deeper. Something that, Parker thought, maybe Jarod hasn't identified yet. That scared her, but in a good way.
When Jarod began to rinse the shampoo out of her hair, a few tears escaped her eyes. She realized that in the span of two days, Jarod had been more "intimate" with her than any other man. And they were enemies. Jarod had seen her at her most vulnerable, and he didn't make fun of her. For that, she now trusted Jarod with her life. He saved her life. He simply held her while she slept. And now all this. It was too much. A light stream of tears slid down her cheeks.
Jarod had turned off the water and wrapped her head in a towel when he noticed Miss Parker was crying. Without thinking, he reached out and gently wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. Parker looked at him, her lower lip beginning to tremble. She whispered, "I need to be alone." After she'd said it, she instantly regretted it. But it had been said. Jarod's face fell slightly. He nodded his consent, gingerly kissed her forehead, and left the bathroom.
When the door closed, Parker began to sob quietly. The sobs jarred her, causing her to shake. Jarod had been a saint to her, and all she could be was rude. She hated feeling like this. She hated the indecision she experienced. It was slowly tearing her apart.
Parker struggled with her conflicting feelings. She wanted to be around Jarod, but she also feared that physical attachment. After what had happened--Rape, Parker!!--she feared most things physical. She didn't want to be reminded of the violation that night contained. To do that, she felt like she needed to distance herself from Jarod. If she let herself become too attached to him, they would become too physical for her. She knew Jarod would be very hurt if she felt like he reminded her of the attacker. She didn't want Jarod to hurt like that.
For that, Parker was willing to forgo her own comfort. She decided in that bathroom that denial would be the best way to deal. Nobody at the Centre would have to know. She wouldn't be too needy, and Jarod would be better off in the end.
"This is my last night," whispered Parker to herself.
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Fighting tears, Miss Parker lightly kissed the top of Jarod's sleeping head and headed to the door. With a final glance to the sleeping figure she had grown accustomed to, Parker left the hotel room and closed the door silently.
She took a cab to her own house and quickly got rid of any reminders of two nights ago. Soon, her home appeared as if nothing had ever happened. The only exception was the mailbox that Jarod knocked over. Parker decided to look past that for now. She brought a few changes of clothes, a heavy quilt, and a big pillow and settled in downstairs on the big sofa for the night.
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"Miss Parker!" exclaimed Broots. Sydney said nothing, but gave her a suspicious look. Broots continued, "Where were you? What happened to your face?" Parker sighed as if she were annoyed and said, "When Rat Boy sent me to jail, he didn't expect me to pick fights. I didn't lose any, but I took a pretty good beating." Parker smirked and stared at Sydney coldly, daring him to contradict her.
"Welcome back, Parker," came Sydney's reply to her look. He knew better than to test her now. Something smelled fishy, but Sydney would wait until Parker felt ready to tell him. What tipped him off was the look in Parker's eyes. Instead of icy cold eyes, Sydney saw pain filled pools. Broots didn't know her well enough to notice, but Sydney practically raised Miss Parker. He knew her better than anyone, with the exception of maybe Jarod. Sydney shook his head lightly, and headed to his office with the newspaper and his coffee.
"S-so, Miss Parker, how was jail?" asked Broots innocently. Miss Parker nearly smiled, but instead said, "It was okay, Broots." He nodded and went on to tell her of various hunches about Jarod's newest whereabouts. Parker listened to all of these and knew they weren't true. She had just been with him yesterday. In fact, she planned on calling the hotel room just to tell him she was okay. She managed to convince Broots that she was interested in one that put Jarod in California and told him to run with that one.
Miss Parker sat at her desk and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. Just talking about Jarod made her tremble. She needed the comfort of those arms again. But she wouldn't allow herself to go running back to him like a coward. Instead, she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello," came the deep voice. Miss Parker inhaled and answered, "Hey, J. It's me."
"Where are you?" asked Jarod after a long pause.
"I'm at work."
"Why?" The one word question nearly ripped Parker's heart from her chest. She replied, "I had to, J. I couldn't stay away from work any longer. I needed normalcy." She heard Jarod whisper something, but she couldn't make it out.
"I gave you a break. The PTB's think you're in California right now. Enjoy your vacation." Parker tried hard to sound like her old self. She didn't know if she was succeeding or not.
"Well, thank you. Keep in touch, okay?" pleaded Jarod, "I want to make sure you're all right." Miss Parker agreed to, then Jarod hung up the phone. Parker sighed heavily and placed the phone back in its cradle. She leaned back in her chair. Then she noticed a pair of eyes staring at her from the ventilation shaft. She gasped and then realized it was Angelo. Parker chuckled for the first time in days.
"Hi, Angelo," she greeted one of her three favorite people at the Centre. Angelo came out of the shaft and walked over to Miss Parker. The two hugged. During the brief embrace, Angelo gasped sharply. Parker pulled away slightly and saw his tear filled eyes. Angelo whispered painfully, "Daughter. No!" Parker saw her pain in his eyes, but she saw his own pain as well. Angelo was like the brother she'd always wanted. In fact, she still suspected that they might be related. She held a soft spot in her heart for him. She felt relieved that she never would actually have to tell him what happened to her. He would just know.
Parker looked into his eyes and saw something other than pain. She whispered, "What is it, Angelo?"
"Can't say. Not yet," replied Angelo. Miss Parker wasn't satisfied, but she went with Angelo's answer. He would tell her in time. A couple of tears fell from Angelo's eyes as he said, "Have to go now, Daughter." Parker nodded and kissed Angelo's cheek gently. She watched as he climbed back in the ventilation shaft and put the cover back on. Parker sat down on the sofa in her office and began to cry.
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Two Months Later
Blue Cove, Delaware
Miss Parker got off of her knees and flushed the toilet. Lately, she'd been having unsettling dreams about her attack. They always made her sick to her stomach. Her "perfect" plan to get on with her life wasn't so perfect anymore. She couldn't cope like she had wanted to.
She needed to tell someone.
In an act of desperation, Miss Parker went in search of Sydney, her only father-figure present now. She found him in his office.
"Syd, we need to talk." Sydney noticed that Miss Parker sounded weary. He got up and followed her until they reached her car. Parker got in, and Sydney followed suit. She drove until they reached a fast-food restaurant. She went to the drive-through got herself two deluxe hamburgers and two large fries. Sydney ordered nothing.
Then, Parker drove to a secluded park with plenty of vacant benches. The two got out of Parker's car and sat on one of them. Miss Parker bit into her hamburger when Sydney asked, "What is this all about, Parker?" Miss Parker looked Sydney in the eyes and swallowed.
"This is kind of hard for me to tell, Syd. Bear with me." Sydney nodded, so Parker went on.
"A couple of months ago, after Jarod got me in the Dover jail, something happened." Parker looked up and saw Sydney's patient and caring eyes on her.
"There--there was an intruder. He had me subdued when Jarod called to apologize for earlier. I--Jarod found out by the way I was speaking that something wasn't right. He told me he was coming, then hung up. Then the intruder..." Parker swallowed some more, and struggled to breathe normally. Sydney's heart sank. No, Parker! Please--
"Then he...he..." Parker sighed and whispered sadly, "He raped me." Fat tears rolled down Parker's face. Sydney was too heartbroken over her predicament to notice his own tears. Two months! Parker had been carrying this burden alone for two months.
"There's more, Syd. Jarod scared the guy away," Parker managed around sobs.
"He found me...right after. When he tried to make contact, I backed away. But when I saw it was Jarod, and not the intruder, I broke down. I held onto him and wouldn't let go. He ended up taking me to the hospital. I also had been stabbed, so I was losing blood. After...the rape, I didn't want to go home. So Jarod took me to his hotel room. He was so caring," Parker whispered around a bittersweet smile.
"The morning after, I threw up after taking a shower. Some of it had gotten in my hair before Jarod got there to pull it back. He washed my hair, puke and all." Her eyes still held wonder over the gentle way he treated her that morning.
"I decided that day to leave and come back here. I thought it would be best for the both of us. I was getting too attached, I needed him too much. I would only have hurt him worse." A fresh stream of tears fell from her eyes as she said, "We still keep in touch. I could even call us friends. But we always avoid that subject." Parker smiled that small smile again and shook her head.
"You know, I've been taking the Centre on false leads with Jarod. They think I've lost my nerve." Parker waited a few beats before adding, "I think I have." Parker sighed and looked at Sydney once more. Sydney, with tears in his eyes and on his face, reached over and embraced the woman he loved like a daughter ever since she was a little girl. He stroked her hair while she cried into his shirt.
After a few minutes, Parker sniffed and asked, "What am I going to do, now?" Sydney took a breath and asked, "Parker, why did you feel the need to tell me this right now?" Parker swallowed and commenced to tell him about her dreams, and the nasty voices.
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One Month Later
Blue Cove, Delaware
Sydney watched from afar as Miss Parker cried in her office, yet again. He sighed sadly. It had seemed for a few weeks that Parker was on her way to recovering from the psychological effects the rape had on her.
Lately, she had become more emotional, nervier. She wore looser, less fashionable clothes now. She had returned to him, telling him about dreams that were far worse. Instead of the real rapist, her attacker would be Mr. Parker, Lyle, or Raines. One frightening night, Parker came to his home looking like death. In that dream, her attacker was Jarod.
Also, she had stopped talking to Jarod. Frankly, she stopped talking to everyone, save Sydney and Broots. Sydney thought Parker was isolating herself. He knew because of the rape, she now had severe self-esteem problems. She continued to tell herself that she was ruined.
Along with all that baggage, the Centre applied more and more pressure to Parker in the search for Jarod. They even knew what had happened to her, and that Jarod saved her life. But they still pressured her. Sydney spoke with Lyle, pleading for him to cut his sister some slack. Sydney informed Lyle of his fears that Miss Parker would suffer a mental breakdown. Lyle wouldn't listen. He laughed.
Sydney had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before his fears were confirmed.
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One Week Later
Miss Parker's Home
Parker sat up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. She had just had another terrible dream. In it, Jarod was her attacker. She had those more frequently. No more!! screamed the voices. She turned her head to look at the bottle of sleeping pills Sydney had prescribed for her. You can end it all right now, came the sinister voice that sounded identical to Miss Parker's own.
Parker nodded to no one in particular and reached a trembling arm to the bottle. She unscrewed the cap and poured out all the pills her shaking left hand could hold. Tears fell unchecked as she took the first pill and swallowed it dry.
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Sydney raced to find a phone. A flood of tears streaming down his face blurred his vision. With trembling hands, he picked up the phone in his office and dialed the number by rote.
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"Hello," he answered the phone.
"Jarod, it's me," replied Sydney. Jarod sat forward in his chair. The tone in Sydney's voice told him something was up. Something not good.
"What is it, Syd?"
"They've killed her, Jarod. My G--"
"Who, Sydney! They've killed who?!" Jarod heard inhale and exhale raggedly before he answered.
"It's Miss Parker. She's killed herself, Jarod."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Disclaimer: All original characters are property of NBC. I am not making any money off of this, that's why it's called fan fiction. Please do not sue me, seeing as I have absolutely no money.
Author's Note: This is the first part of a series. I don't know how many will make the completed series, but they will each have a different name. Have fun!
Blue Cove, Delaware The Centre
Miss Parker paced back and forth as Broots typed on the keyboard with a frenzied pace. Parker had received a lead concerning Jarod's whereabouts. Broots was checking it out as she paced. Her mind willed him to go much faster. Jarod seemed so close, she could taste him.
The chase had been going on for years. Parker wanted it to end. She had grown weary of the game of cat and mouse. All she wanted was to relax behind a desk and not stress about what her favorite antagonist was up to. Ever since her father died, Parker's heart just wasn't into the chase anymore.
"W-we've got it, Miss Parker," whispered Broots. Parker stopped pacing. Broots just stared at her dumbly, so Parker responded with her trademark, "What!"
Broots started visibly at the statement that was spat out like some bad milk.
"H-he's here, in Delaware. Dover. Apparently, he's been pretending to be a c-criminal profiler." Miss Parker's ice blue eyes shot daggers into Broots' eyes as she ordered, "Stay here, Broots. Syd and I will go check this out." Parker put on her leather overcoat and started walking to the door. She stopped at the door frame and turned to face Broots. She arched an eyebrow before she added icily, "Oh, and Broots? Do something about that nasty speech impediment." Her eyebrow returned to its original place before she walked out the door, her heels clicking loudly on the hard floor. Broots shivered and muttered to himself, "She needs a vacation."
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Dover, Delaware
"Young?" Jarod turned around and faced who had addressed him.
"I think this criminal likes the attention he gets from the media. Each killing is more and more spectacular in its execution. Pardon the pun. Also, the victims are gradually becoming high profile people. The son of a police commissioner, the daughter of a mayor. I have a hunch." Jarod looked around the room to see if they were interested. He continued, "I think the governor's children are next. Both of them."
A couple of men thoughtfully considered what profiler Jarod Young had said. A few others discussed the idea amongst themselves. One scoffed, "Right! Why both? This killer does one and one only." Jarod smiled patiently before answering, "Media attention. Killing identical twins would get a lot of coverage." Gotcha, thought Jarod. He had been trying to get this guy. Now Jarod had his way out. No one would ever have suspected a police chief for a serial killer. But Jarod did. He knew he was right, and had just set the trap.
The police chief was the one who had scoffed at Jarod's hunch. Jarod had asked the governor to be in on this from the beginning. His twin sons should be very appealing for a glory-seeking psychopath. All Jarod had to do was wait.
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24 Hours Later
"Parker, there's an awful lot of police activity here. Maybe we shouldn't press the issue with Jarod," plead Sydney. As usual, it fell on deaf ears. The two had stayed in Dover for a day while tracking Jarod down. Part of Sydney didn't want Jarod to be brought back to the Centre. Another part of him didn't want to get involved with police.
Apparently, something big had gone down at this scene. Police were everywhere. Miss Parker scanned the massive crowd with eyes like a hawk. Her eyes stopped their furious back and forth movement when she spotted him. Jarod looked like he was speaking to news reporters. Parker sighed in disgust. She would have to wait until he was fairly isolated before she could make her move.
"Why do you feel so strongly about returning Jarod to the Centre?" asked a small voice inside her head. Had she not known any better, she might've thought it was her voice.
"Mamma, get out of my head," Parker muttered to herself. Sometimes, she hated those voices. They were really beginning to resemble a conscience. In Parker's line of work, it was best not to have a conscience. If you grew a conscience, you were bound to wind up dead in a deserted alleyway somewhere.
Parker's right hand began to tremble slightly. She rolled her eyes and shook the offending hand, rubbing it to try to get rid of the tremors that had suddenly appeared. Sydney took notice and asked, "Did you quit smoking again, Parker?" Parker arched an eyebrow and lied, "No, I just haven't had any time to go out and get some. Ratboy here's been running me in so many circles. I'm going to bring him in this time, Freud."
Sydney laughed mentally. She knew just as well as he did that they would return to the Centre empty-handed. But tonight, Parker was determined to break their losing streak. Sydney watched as Parker's eyes lit up for a split second, then she was off. He sighed and shook his head sadly. Parker would wear herself to death if she kept on in the way that she was going.
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Jarod stopped behind a tree, catching his breath. He honestly didn't expect Miss Parker to track him to this pretend. He was sure he had covered his tracks, but--There's no time to think about that now! he practically shouted to himself. He pulled his gun from its holster and peered around the trunk of the tree.
He was greeted by the image of a bullet imbedding itself with astonishing velocity into the tree trunk merely centimeters away from Jarod's head. She just about shot me! his insides screamed. Jarod stepped back behind the safety of the massive tree trunk and contemplated his next move.
"It's time to come home, Wonder Boy," stated Miss Parker with a viciously calm tone. Jarod shook his head and whispered, "Not this night, Parker." The shock of seeing Miss Parker with guns ablaze finally wore off, and Jarod was back in control of his instincts. He picked up the police radio he was still carrying and walked from behind the tree.
Miss Parker wondered what on Earth he was doing. Some genius, she thought. Parker leveled her gun at his head and warned, "Put your hands up, Jarod! Or I'll--"
"What, shoot me?" asked Jarod with a sly grin on his face. Uh-oh. Parker knew that grin. That was a "gotcha" grin. Parker swore under her breath.
"Tsk, tsk. You really shouldn't use that kind of language, Parker. They say profanity is a strong expression of a weak mind. Now, does that really describe you?" Jarod chuckled deeply. He then went on to say, "Oh, I would get rid of that weapon if I were you. I just radioed for help from the police. I said some woman was threatening an officer." Jarod grinned again.
Parker wanted to swear again, but abstained from doing so. She was not going to let him get to her. Before she could chuck the gun, Jarod took it and let the partially spent magazine fall to ground. Jarod smiled when the officers came.
"Luckily, her gun was unloaded. But in my professional opinion, she's nuts. She tried to tell me she worked for this dark corporation that's more powerful than the U.S. government. What a crock!"
If looks could kill, Jarod would have been cremated and scattered to the winds within seconds. Parker was infuriated, a glare of animosity plastered to her face as the police officers took her "downtown. She watched as Jarod went off whistling The Andy Griffith Show's opening theme.
"All right, Barney Fife, hands off!" Parker spat out. She mentally thanked Jarod for giving her some new material for her smart-aleck comments. Miss Parker walked with her head held high towards the cop car.
"So much for bringing in Jarod tonight," stated Sydney. He was following Miss Parker and her escorts in amusement. He knew his Jarod wouldn't allow himself to be caught.
Parker glared at Sydney, yet said nothing. She knew it was wise not to say anything. She had shoved her foot in her mouth again. Parker was about to find out that patience was indeed a virtue.
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Blue Cove, Delaware
Miss Parker shut the heavy wooden door to her home and dropped her keys on the floor. In her head she ticked off the various things that had gone wrong with the nights events: Jarod got away, Parker was arrested, spent the majority of the night in jail, spent all the money she had on hand for bail, and most importantly, she had barely missed her target. You didn't barely miss, you nearly hit him. Then, what would you have done, Darling? nagged her mother's voice. Parker really disliked her inner sense right now. The voices reminded her that she was always wrong and that Jarod was always right. She didn't need that tonight.
Parker walked upstairs to her room. She kicked her shoes off and turned on the light. She sat on the edge of her huge bed and looked at herself in the full-length mirror in the corner. My eyes must be traveling somewhere, she thought to herself, 'cause they look like they're carrying heavy-duty Samsonite luggage. Parker chuckled softly.
She looked once more in the mirror. Her heart stopped as she saw the intruder standing directly behind her. Before she could turn around, the intruder had his huge hand covering her face while his free arm prevented her from moving. The phone's loud jangling startled the both of them. Parker whimpered and looked obviously over the phone as if to say, "If I don't pick that up, someone will come over here checking on me." Parker hoped her attacker understood at least that much.
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Jarod truly felt sorry about having to make Miss Parker stay in the holding cell at the jail. It was for this reason he chose to call and apologize, sort of. He stood up and looked out the window of his hotel while he waited for her to pick up. Usually, she picked up after the first ring. But he had let it ring for about a minute and she still hadn't answered. He called earlier and found out she paid bail after eleven hours. She lasted longer than he'd predicted. Just as he'd made up his mind to hang up, Parker picked up the phone. Jarod smiled as he waited for her characteristic greeting. He was disappointed.
"Hello?" answered Parker. Jarod thought she sounded a little shaky. He decided to be normal. Maybe she was upset by spending time with common riff raff.
"Whatever happened to 'what'?" Jarod asked with light teasing in his tone.
"Hi, Mamma. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to lunch. I had to catch up with an old friend." Mamma? All teasing was gone from his mind. Something was up. He asked with real concern, "Parker, are you okay?"
"No, I can't see you tomorrow, but Friday's free." The rest of the answer made no sense, but he was concentrating on the first word.
"Is someone in there with you?" Jarod asked.
"Uh-huh, yeah. That'll work." Jarod's heart pounded a little harder as he asked, "Has that person hurt you?"
"No, not yet. But I think he will. He would be great for that job, Mamma." Now it was Jarod's turn to swear under his breath. His mind raced for his next words.
"Parker, be careful. I'll be there as soon as I can."
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"Okay, Mamma. See you on Friday. Love you, bye." Parker hung up the phone instants before she was thrown onto her bed by the stranger. She suppressed a scream as he ripped open her silk blouse. This isn't happening, she lied to herself. The man placed one of his monstrous paws over her mouth just to insure she wouldn't make any extra noise. Parker, deciding to fight, bit down hard and clawed his arms with her fingernails. He shouted in surprised pain, but quickly recovered. He produced a sharp knife and placed it against Parker's throat. All of her attempts to fight were forgotten. The man hit her on the cheek for payback of what pain she'd caused him.
Parker closed her eyes. He continued beating her for a few minutes more. By this time, primary shock had numbed her. She felt nothing. Until he mounted her with a savage grin on his face. Oh! The pain...
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Jarod drove like a madman. Thoughts raced through his mind. The optimist in him hoped the intruder just meant to rob her. But the pessimist, the more predominant side, expected the worst.
Jarod's tires squealed as he applied the brakes too quickly. He fishtailed into Miss Parker's mailbox, but that was the least of his worries. As he ran up the driveway, he heard a window break. He also thought he heard someone running away, but he needed to see to Parker first. Jarod bounded up the stairs and took a guess at which room was Parker's. He had guessed correctly. He wanted to weep at the scene that he was viewing.
Parker, naked and battered, lay in the fetal position on her bed, curled up with as much sheet she could gather. Her frame was racked with harsh sobs. She had never felt so violated in her life. The pain!!! She pulled herself tighter and tighter into a little ball. The only thing she wanted to do was shrink inside herself so she would not have to deal with this.
Jarod watched her for a few moments, contemplating how to approach her. At first, he thought she may have simply been beaten. He may have arrived in time, scaring the guy off and preventing a far more worse situation. Then he noticed the stream of blood trickling down her stark white thigh. Jarod couldn't breathe for a moment. He walked slowly to her side.
"Miss Parker," whispered Jarod as he gently touched her shoulder with his fingertips. She moved away violently, backing up on all fours like a wounded, cornered animal. His heart broke for the third time that evening. He moved closer. Parker's glazed over eyes met Jarod's and finally focused. With a small whimper in the back of her throat, Parker wrapped her arms around Jarod's neck so tightly that he thought he might choke. A new wave of tears flooded Parker's face. Jarod joined in silently, gently stroking her silky dark hair and looking upward as bitter tears rolled down his cheeks. Even though she was clinging to Jarod tightly, he felt Miss Parker tremble. Then he knew whoever did this would pay.
Jarod kissed the top of her head lightly, then whispered, "Parker?" She clung harder to Jarod at the sound of his voice.
"I'm here, Parker. We need to get you to the hospital," Jarod reasoned in a soothing voice with a calmness he did not feel. Parker shook her head violently and tightened her grip around Jarod's neck. Jarod sighed heavily and wrapped one arm around Miss Parker's waist and continued stroking her hair with his free hand. He wanted to protest against the injustice. Miss Parker, his hard nosed Ice Queen, had been forced to melt. But he did nothing. He just sat there, giving what meager comfort he had to offer.
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An hour later, Miss Parker had finally fallen silent. Jarod noticed that she had lightened her grip. He tried to reason again, "Parker, you need to go to the hospital. Get checked out." After a long pause, Miss Parker inhaled shakily and nodded. Jarod cautiously got up from the bed and left Miss Parker so she could put some clothes on.
Miss Parker came out a minute or two later wearing track pants and a baggy T-shirt. A flaming red welt was beginning to form around a laceration on her left cheek, and her right eye was swelling up. Parker wouldn't raise her head to look Jarod in the eye. But he saw what was in those eyes: fatigue, pain, and violation. Jarod's heart broke yet again. Then he noticed she was trembling all over. That's when he saw the small patch of red on her shirt. Jarod reacted quickly as she began to fall forwards. He caught her and fell into a sitting position. Parker's head rested in his lap while he lifted the bottom of her shirt up. His eyes closed in pain when he saw the stab wound. Muttering a few choice profane words at whoever did this, Jarod picked up Miss Parker and carried her out to his car.
When he entered the hospital carrying a bleeding Parker, a doctor on his break noticed the two and rushed to help them. Later, Jarod sat in the hallway while the doctor attended to her. He buried his head in his hands and sat that way for a while. He was genuinely scared. Scared that Parker would die; scared that she would never be the same; scared that she would be the same. Part of him wanted her to come out of that room with her eyebrow cocked, gun in hand, saying, "You run, I chase, Wonder Boy." Another part of him wanted her to come out and be gentler; wanted her to be changed.
The door to her room opened, and Jarod looked up with red-rimmed eyes. The doctor walked out holding Parker by the arm, helping her walk. Jarod rushed to her side and slid an arm around her waist to support her. The doctor stated, "She hasn't lost too much blood. I gave her a transfusion, just in case. Her cuts and bruises will heal in time. I'm advising you to get her some psychiatric help. I can refer you to a few people that I really trust." Jarod answered, "I know of one she can go to. Thank you, doctor." The doctor smiled sympathetically and replied, "I'm sorry this happened to her." Jarod swallowed hard and whispered, "So am I."
When the two had returned to Jarod's car, they sat for a while.
"Do you want to go home?" asked Jarod cautiously. The look of panic in her eyes was answer enough for him. He sighed and headed for his hotel.
Jarod held the door open and allowed Miss Parker to go in first. She stood her ground, peering nervously into the unlit hotel room. Jarod understood. He entered and switched on the light. Parker then walked into the room and looked around cautiously.
Jarod shut the door and went to his closet. He retrieved a blue button up shirt and handed it to Parker. He explained, "You can't sleep in that bloody shirt, Parker." Parker nodded slightly, took the shirt, and walked like a zombie to the bathroom. He thought she was just going to change, but he heard the shower turn on. He nodded sadly to himself and walked over to bed. He sat down, intending on waiting for her to get out of the shower. Jarod dozed off after ten minutes.
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An hour later, Parker got out of the steaming shower. She still did not feel clean. She wondered if she would ever be clean again. She put on Jarod's shirt and walked out of the bathroom. She allowed herself a small smile at the sight of Jarod. He lay sprawled on the bed, his hair rumpled, looking like a small boy in a deep sleep.
Parker walked over to the unmade bed, got on it, and pulled the covers over her. The movement made Jarod stir. He turned his head towards Parker and opened his eyes. Seeing that she was in the bed, Jarod moved to leave the bed and sleep on the floor. Miss Parker spoke for the first time since hanging up the phone.
"Please, stay with me," she begged frantically, "I don't want to sleep alone tonight." Tears filled her eyes. She wanted to sleep in his arms. She felt safe in those arms.
"Shh, I'll stay," whispered Jarod, "If you really want me to, I'll stay." The panic began to leave Parker's face as she threw her arms around his neck. Jarod gently rubbed her upper arms and placed a kiss on her forehead. Parker laid her head against his chest and cried soundlessly. Jarod moved to lay down and Parker followed, still holding onto him. He held Parker gently, hoping to soothe her fears. They both fell asleep that way fifteen minutes later.
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Parker awoke the next morning still in Jarod's arms. She allowed herself another smile. Jarod looked for all the world like the little boy she once knew a long, long time ago. She stretched luxuriously, but was stopped short. He's only here because he feels sorry for you. He doesn't want anything to do with you. You're dirty, you're ruined! shouted a strange voice. Her inner sense. She hadn't heard from the voices since--the incident. Come on, Parker. Just say it! You were raped!
"Shut up," she whispered to no one in particular. But it got to her. She left the bed quietly and went into the bathroom.
Jarod awoke to the sound of the shower being turned on. Not again, thought Jarod. Every time Jarod looked at Parker, his heart broke once more. Each time was more painful than the last.
He'd noticed Parker seemed like a shell of her former self. It was very understandable, considering what she had just went through. Jarod stretched as he remembered the night before. When Jarod was just about to fall asleep, he felt Miss Parker loosening her grip and her breath evening out. Before she became completely still, Jarod heard her make what sounding like a small cooing noise, and she nuzzled her head against one of his shoulders. The effect this had on Jarod was confusing. He felt a strong desire to kiss that woman. Even though she had just been through a terrible, degrading ordeal, he wanted to kiss her. Strange.
Jarod rubbed his face and sighed. He didn't know if he should suggest seeing Sydney to Parker. He had a feeling she wouldn't want anyone else to know what had happened to her. But Jarod thought she should talk to Sydney. Jarod's train of thought was stopped when he heard the shower turn off.
Parker coughed loudly. While she was in the shower, she felt a wave of nausea hit her and it brought her to her knees. A stronger wave hit after she had wrapped herself up in a towel. She knelt in front of the toilet and waited for the inevitable.
The stone cold reality of what had happened to her the night before finally hit her. The coldness sank to the bottom of her stomach, and made her body push something back out. Parker grabbed ahold of the toilet bowl with her hands and began to throw up. Parker's wet hair dangled around her face, getting in her path.
Suddenly, a pair of hands were holding her hair back away from her face. Patiently, he waited until Parker was finished. After Parker was relieved of her nausea, she leaned back against Jarod and laid her head on his chest. Her eyes closed and face pale, Parker panted from her exertion. Jarod wiped her mouth with a washcloth. Then he placed a cool, damp cloth against her sweat-covered forehead. He wrapped his arms around her front comfortingly and felt her relax. When Parker was completely calm Jarod asked, "What happened, Parker?"
"I got sick, Wonder Boy," Parker replied lackluster. Then Parker opened her eyes and noticed the vomit in her hair. Tears came to her eyes. Why are you crying? You're the Ice Queen, you don't cry!! screamed the harsh voice. Jarod lightly kissed the top of her head and gently moved her over to the bathtub. He reached up and pulled down the removable shower head from its resting place as Parker laid her head over the edge of the tub. She watched wide eyed as Jarod turned on the water, made sure it was warm, and started to rinse her hair. When he reached for the shampoo, she almost broke into tears again. Why was Jarod being so nice to her? She'd made his life a living hell for six years. She didn't deserve this treatment.
Parker's heart jumped as Jarod's eyes met hers. His gentle fingers massaged the shampoo into her hair, and her scalp. The look in his eyes was not pity. It was something else. Something far deeper. Something that, Parker thought, maybe Jarod hasn't identified yet. That scared her, but in a good way.
When Jarod began to rinse the shampoo out of her hair, a few tears escaped her eyes. She realized that in the span of two days, Jarod had been more "intimate" with her than any other man. And they were enemies. Jarod had seen her at her most vulnerable, and he didn't make fun of her. For that, she now trusted Jarod with her life. He saved her life. He simply held her while she slept. And now all this. It was too much. A light stream of tears slid down her cheeks.
Jarod had turned off the water and wrapped her head in a towel when he noticed Miss Parker was crying. Without thinking, he reached out and gently wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. Parker looked at him, her lower lip beginning to tremble. She whispered, "I need to be alone." After she'd said it, she instantly regretted it. But it had been said. Jarod's face fell slightly. He nodded his consent, gingerly kissed her forehead, and left the bathroom.
When the door closed, Parker began to sob quietly. The sobs jarred her, causing her to shake. Jarod had been a saint to her, and all she could be was rude. She hated feeling like this. She hated the indecision she experienced. It was slowly tearing her apart.
Parker struggled with her conflicting feelings. She wanted to be around Jarod, but she also feared that physical attachment. After what had happened--Rape, Parker!!--she feared most things physical. She didn't want to be reminded of the violation that night contained. To do that, she felt like she needed to distance herself from Jarod. If she let herself become too attached to him, they would become too physical for her. She knew Jarod would be very hurt if she felt like he reminded her of the attacker. She didn't want Jarod to hurt like that.
For that, Parker was willing to forgo her own comfort. She decided in that bathroom that denial would be the best way to deal. Nobody at the Centre would have to know. She wouldn't be too needy, and Jarod would be better off in the end.
"This is my last night," whispered Parker to herself.
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Fighting tears, Miss Parker lightly kissed the top of Jarod's sleeping head and headed to the door. With a final glance to the sleeping figure she had grown accustomed to, Parker left the hotel room and closed the door silently.
She took a cab to her own house and quickly got rid of any reminders of two nights ago. Soon, her home appeared as if nothing had ever happened. The only exception was the mailbox that Jarod knocked over. Parker decided to look past that for now. She brought a few changes of clothes, a heavy quilt, and a big pillow and settled in downstairs on the big sofa for the night.
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"Miss Parker!" exclaimed Broots. Sydney said nothing, but gave her a suspicious look. Broots continued, "Where were you? What happened to your face?" Parker sighed as if she were annoyed and said, "When Rat Boy sent me to jail, he didn't expect me to pick fights. I didn't lose any, but I took a pretty good beating." Parker smirked and stared at Sydney coldly, daring him to contradict her.
"Welcome back, Parker," came Sydney's reply to her look. He knew better than to test her now. Something smelled fishy, but Sydney would wait until Parker felt ready to tell him. What tipped him off was the look in Parker's eyes. Instead of icy cold eyes, Sydney saw pain filled pools. Broots didn't know her well enough to notice, but Sydney practically raised Miss Parker. He knew her better than anyone, with the exception of maybe Jarod. Sydney shook his head lightly, and headed to his office with the newspaper and his coffee.
"S-so, Miss Parker, how was jail?" asked Broots innocently. Miss Parker nearly smiled, but instead said, "It was okay, Broots." He nodded and went on to tell her of various hunches about Jarod's newest whereabouts. Parker listened to all of these and knew they weren't true. She had just been with him yesterday. In fact, she planned on calling the hotel room just to tell him she was okay. She managed to convince Broots that she was interested in one that put Jarod in California and told him to run with that one.
Miss Parker sat at her desk and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb. Just talking about Jarod made her tremble. She needed the comfort of those arms again. But she wouldn't allow herself to go running back to him like a coward. Instead, she picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello," came the deep voice. Miss Parker inhaled and answered, "Hey, J. It's me."
"Where are you?" asked Jarod after a long pause.
"I'm at work."
"Why?" The one word question nearly ripped Parker's heart from her chest. She replied, "I had to, J. I couldn't stay away from work any longer. I needed normalcy." She heard Jarod whisper something, but she couldn't make it out.
"I gave you a break. The PTB's think you're in California right now. Enjoy your vacation." Parker tried hard to sound like her old self. She didn't know if she was succeeding or not.
"Well, thank you. Keep in touch, okay?" pleaded Jarod, "I want to make sure you're all right." Miss Parker agreed to, then Jarod hung up the phone. Parker sighed heavily and placed the phone back in its cradle. She leaned back in her chair. Then she noticed a pair of eyes staring at her from the ventilation shaft. She gasped and then realized it was Angelo. Parker chuckled for the first time in days.
"Hi, Angelo," she greeted one of her three favorite people at the Centre. Angelo came out of the shaft and walked over to Miss Parker. The two hugged. During the brief embrace, Angelo gasped sharply. Parker pulled away slightly and saw his tear filled eyes. Angelo whispered painfully, "Daughter. No!" Parker saw her pain in his eyes, but she saw his own pain as well. Angelo was like the brother she'd always wanted. In fact, she still suspected that they might be related. She held a soft spot in her heart for him. She felt relieved that she never would actually have to tell him what happened to her. He would just know.
Parker looked into his eyes and saw something other than pain. She whispered, "What is it, Angelo?"
"Can't say. Not yet," replied Angelo. Miss Parker wasn't satisfied, but she went with Angelo's answer. He would tell her in time. A couple of tears fell from Angelo's eyes as he said, "Have to go now, Daughter." Parker nodded and kissed Angelo's cheek gently. She watched as he climbed back in the ventilation shaft and put the cover back on. Parker sat down on the sofa in her office and began to cry.
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Two Months Later
Blue Cove, Delaware
Miss Parker got off of her knees and flushed the toilet. Lately, she'd been having unsettling dreams about her attack. They always made her sick to her stomach. Her "perfect" plan to get on with her life wasn't so perfect anymore. She couldn't cope like she had wanted to.
She needed to tell someone.
In an act of desperation, Miss Parker went in search of Sydney, her only father-figure present now. She found him in his office.
"Syd, we need to talk." Sydney noticed that Miss Parker sounded weary. He got up and followed her until they reached her car. Parker got in, and Sydney followed suit. She drove until they reached a fast-food restaurant. She went to the drive-through got herself two deluxe hamburgers and two large fries. Sydney ordered nothing.
Then, Parker drove to a secluded park with plenty of vacant benches. The two got out of Parker's car and sat on one of them. Miss Parker bit into her hamburger when Sydney asked, "What is this all about, Parker?" Miss Parker looked Sydney in the eyes and swallowed.
"This is kind of hard for me to tell, Syd. Bear with me." Sydney nodded, so Parker went on.
"A couple of months ago, after Jarod got me in the Dover jail, something happened." Parker looked up and saw Sydney's patient and caring eyes on her.
"There--there was an intruder. He had me subdued when Jarod called to apologize for earlier. I--Jarod found out by the way I was speaking that something wasn't right. He told me he was coming, then hung up. Then the intruder..." Parker swallowed some more, and struggled to breathe normally. Sydney's heart sank. No, Parker! Please--
"Then he...he..." Parker sighed and whispered sadly, "He raped me." Fat tears rolled down Parker's face. Sydney was too heartbroken over her predicament to notice his own tears. Two months! Parker had been carrying this burden alone for two months.
"There's more, Syd. Jarod scared the guy away," Parker managed around sobs.
"He found me...right after. When he tried to make contact, I backed away. But when I saw it was Jarod, and not the intruder, I broke down. I held onto him and wouldn't let go. He ended up taking me to the hospital. I also had been stabbed, so I was losing blood. After...the rape, I didn't want to go home. So Jarod took me to his hotel room. He was so caring," Parker whispered around a bittersweet smile.
"The morning after, I threw up after taking a shower. Some of it had gotten in my hair before Jarod got there to pull it back. He washed my hair, puke and all." Her eyes still held wonder over the gentle way he treated her that morning.
"I decided that day to leave and come back here. I thought it would be best for the both of us. I was getting too attached, I needed him too much. I would only have hurt him worse." A fresh stream of tears fell from her eyes as she said, "We still keep in touch. I could even call us friends. But we always avoid that subject." Parker smiled that small smile again and shook her head.
"You know, I've been taking the Centre on false leads with Jarod. They think I've lost my nerve." Parker waited a few beats before adding, "I think I have." Parker sighed and looked at Sydney once more. Sydney, with tears in his eyes and on his face, reached over and embraced the woman he loved like a daughter ever since she was a little girl. He stroked her hair while she cried into his shirt.
After a few minutes, Parker sniffed and asked, "What am I going to do, now?" Sydney took a breath and asked, "Parker, why did you feel the need to tell me this right now?" Parker swallowed and commenced to tell him about her dreams, and the nasty voices.
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One Month Later
Blue Cove, Delaware
Sydney watched from afar as Miss Parker cried in her office, yet again. He sighed sadly. It had seemed for a few weeks that Parker was on her way to recovering from the psychological effects the rape had on her.
Lately, she had become more emotional, nervier. She wore looser, less fashionable clothes now. She had returned to him, telling him about dreams that were far worse. Instead of the real rapist, her attacker would be Mr. Parker, Lyle, or Raines. One frightening night, Parker came to his home looking like death. In that dream, her attacker was Jarod.
Also, she had stopped talking to Jarod. Frankly, she stopped talking to everyone, save Sydney and Broots. Sydney thought Parker was isolating herself. He knew because of the rape, she now had severe self-esteem problems. She continued to tell herself that she was ruined.
Along with all that baggage, the Centre applied more and more pressure to Parker in the search for Jarod. They even knew what had happened to her, and that Jarod saved her life. But they still pressured her. Sydney spoke with Lyle, pleading for him to cut his sister some slack. Sydney informed Lyle of his fears that Miss Parker would suffer a mental breakdown. Lyle wouldn't listen. He laughed.
Sydney had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before his fears were confirmed.
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One Week Later
Miss Parker's Home
Parker sat up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. She had just had another terrible dream. In it, Jarod was her attacker. She had those more frequently. No more!! screamed the voices. She turned her head to look at the bottle of sleeping pills Sydney had prescribed for her. You can end it all right now, came the sinister voice that sounded identical to Miss Parker's own.
Parker nodded to no one in particular and reached a trembling arm to the bottle. She unscrewed the cap and poured out all the pills her shaking left hand could hold. Tears fell unchecked as she took the first pill and swallowed it dry.
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Sydney raced to find a phone. A flood of tears streaming down his face blurred his vision. With trembling hands, he picked up the phone in his office and dialed the number by rote.
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"Hello," he answered the phone.
"Jarod, it's me," replied Sydney. Jarod sat forward in his chair. The tone in Sydney's voice told him something was up. Something not good.
"What is it, Syd?"
"They've killed her, Jarod. My G--"
"Who, Sydney! They've killed who?!" Jarod heard inhale and exhale raggedly before he answered.
"It's Miss Parker. She's killed herself, Jarod."
TO BE CONTINUED...