Sam was burning.

There was a fire inside of him, burning through his veins and curling in his stomach. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He was burning, burning alive and nothing could stop it. His skin felt too tight for his body, a thin sheet pulled taught over his bones. Sam's fingers curled around burning flesh, but it wasn't his own. He wasn't burning alone.

Sam lay on a bed and let the fire consume him, felt the flames lick at his skin. Hands rough with callouses pulled at him, gripped him tight, hands that Sam knew anywhere. They were the hands that held him when he was scared, pushed the sweaty hair back from his head when he was sick, the hands that had always brought him home when he was gone away too long.

"Sam, my Sammy"

Sam felt the air leave his lungs as his brother spoke. His back arched and Dean was there, pulling at his body, bringing him closer. Dean was burning too. They were burning together.

"Dean. De, please"

Sam didn't recognise his own voice; it was needy and broke when he said his brother's name. He didn't know what he was asking for, maybe for the burning to stop, maybe for it to never end. Dean would know though, Dean always knew what Sam needed.

Dean's answer was an honest to god growl and the burning in Sam's stomach rivalled the heat of a thousand suns. Dean pulled away and a whine dragged its way from Sam's throat. Maybe he should be embarrassed by his own neediness, ashamed by his want.

"I've got you, sweetheart"

Sam's body jerked upwards without thought. Sweetheart. He liked Dean calling him that. In the shitty motel room where Sam was burning alive, he was Dean's sweetheart.

Dean pulled of Sam's shirt and stared at him. Sam squirmed under his brother's gaze, his fingers clenching with the sudden need to cover up and to hide. His hands gripped at the bed sheet as his eyes focused on a small stain on the far wall

"You're perfect, you know that?"

Sam looked up at Dean almost expecting to see a smirk, for Dean to laugh at him and call him a girl. But instead worried green eyes stared back at him, his brother's mouth was pulled down into a frown and Sam had the insane urge to kiss it away.

"You're beautiful"

Sam dropped his eyes down, unable to cope with the unwavering gaze of his brother. He had never seen Dean look so serious, so utterly sincere. Dean thought Sam was beautiful. And perfect.

"Look at me. Sammy, please"

Sam couldn't look at Dean. He just couldn't. Dean was beautiful and perfect, with his pretty eyes and soft lips, sculpted chest and chiselled jaw. He was heartbreakingly beautiful and Sam was just Sam. Nothing special, nothing pretty.

"Baby, look at me. Sam!"

Sam had barely lifted his head before his lips were captured by his brother and his mouth was being claimed once again. And just like before a fire burned through him within seconds of Dean's mouth touching his own.

"I'll show you. Show you, how –fuck! -gorgeous you are"

Dean's words were punctuated with kisses and nips of his teeth against Sam's lips and Sam was becoming lost to the flames again, lost to his brother. Sam wanted to stop time and just live forever like this, just him and Dean.

The harsh material of Dean's jeans rubbed against Sam's bare legs, the denim chafing his thighs. He knew that soon the skin would be red raw but Sam could no longer control his own hips and he continued to rub himself over Dean. He felt like a bitch in heat and with the feeling of shame bubbling in him he wondered what he must look like to Dean. His brother didn't seem to care though if his loud groans and sharp breaths were anything to go by.

"So, good. So good for me"

Sam's body suddenly seemed overly sensitive and every touch was sending him into overdrive. His hands grabbed onto his brother, his dull nails scratching at Dean's back. He needed Dean, all of Dean. His brother seemed to know that as his hands disappeared from Sam's skin and started hastily twisting at his own belt. Dean kicked his jeans off and in seconds was back on Sam, his hands gripping at Sam's hips pulling him ever closer.

Sam's skin was aflame and he felt like every inch of himself was met with an inch of Dean. The brothers were left only in their boxers and suddenly the situation became very real. Sam was hyper aware of every movement and he knew, even in his fuzzy, lust clouded head, what they were doing and what they were going to do. Now Sam was scared and the very thought overwhelmed him. He didn't know what to expect, what Dean expected.

Dean was experienced, everyone who knew Dean knew that and Sam, well wasn't. He'd had sex of course but it had been with girls and a while ago, and just like that Sam was screaming in his own head - oh god I don't know how to do this.

Sam could feel the heat of his blush spread through his cheeks and his hips stopped their constant thrusting upwards into Dean. Sam's chest tightened almost painfully as fear began to seep into him, he didn't know what he was doing, or how to please Dean and he knew, just knew, that he would end up embarrassing himself and disappointing Dean.

"Sam? Sammy, what's wrong?"

Dean was hovering above him, arms braced on either side of Sam's head. Sam stared determinedly at the hard lines of prominent veins and bulging muscle in his brother's quivering arms, unable to look at Dean's face. Tears burned at the corner of his eyes, god he was stupid, he had never done this before and Dean would know because Sam would be shit and this thing, this tentative little thing they have right now, would be over before it had ever really started. Sam's heart actually hurt at the thought of this being over, in the short time that had passed Sam had become addicted to his brother and just like every other good thing in his life it would soon be ripped away from him.

"Sam?"

Dean's voice wavered as he spoke, fear lilting his tone. Sam watched his brother's hands clench and unclench and his arms seemed to shake with more than just effort of keeping balance.

"Look at me"

Sam couldn't look at Dean. He watched a shiver run through his brother's shoulders, it wasn't cold. Sam wasn't burning anymore but shame shot through him keeping him more than warm.

"Sam, please…I'm sorry"

Sam's head shot up on its own accord. Sorry? Dean was sorry? Sam stared at his brother and felt his heart shatter as guilt, clear as day, shone in Dean's eyes. Maybe Dean already regretted what they had done; maybe Sam wasn't what he wanted.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry; I didn't mean…did I hurt you? Baby, please"

Dean thought he had hurt Sam. In different circumstances Sam might have laughed, Dean never hurt him. Sam was pretty sure Dean couldn't even if he tried.

"I know I was goin' too fast. M'sorry…so sorry"

Sam started to shake his head as Dean spoke. God, how did this stuff happen? Had they gotten to the point where they misunderstood everything about each other? Sam knew he had very little time to convince his brother that he was not in fact hurting him or moving too fast before Dean closed himself off.

"No, Dean. You were fine, everything's fine"

Sam was blushing so hard his face was reaching nuclear heat. How was he going to explain this to Dean? Hey, big brother, so I've never had sex with a guy before and I have no idea what I'm doing and this is going to be shit. Still think I'm perfect? Somehow he didn't think that would go down too well.

"But you stopped…"

Dean's eyes widened once he had finished speaking and then suddenly he was tumbling out words so fast Sam barely caught what he was saying.

"Which is fine obviously. You can always stop, of course. I wasn't sayin' somethin' had to be wrong for you to stop"

Sam felt a laugh bubble up inside him, there something completely absurd about Dean and his rambling. Dean almost never rambled and for some reason it was making Sam smile and it made his stomach feel warm and light.

"Dean. I know, man, it's okay"

Sam, despite the embarrassment that was threatening to consume him, curled his hand over the back of Dean's neck, his thumb brushing the edge of his brother's jaw. Sam felt like he was floating when Dean leaned his head ever so slightly into his hand. Dean shoulders lowered slightly from the taught position they had been in and his arms stopped quivering

"You wouldn't look at me. And you looked scared, real scared, Sammy. I don't wanna scare you"

Dean's words were spoken softly and his eyes dropped down, focusing on a point somewhere above Sam's left shoulder.

"You don't. It's just, I am scared but not of you. Never of you"

Sam mumbled out his words, his face flaming and his hands restless on the sheet underneath him. Dean cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowed and Sam knew his brother was confused and he wished he could just drop the conversation. But he needed Dean to understand so he shoved down his shame and continued speaking.

"This, um, situation scares me. A lot. Because it's well scary, I guess"

Sam wanted to smack himself in the face. He was never this inarticulate; he supposed to be the one that was good with words.

"I've never…"

Sam coughed, his throat suddenly achingly dry.

"I've never, um y'know…with a guy"

Sam's voice was barely a whisper by the time he had finished speaking and his fingers had unconsciously burrowed into Dean's hair. He used to do it as a child too, wind his hands into his brother's hair when he was scared or tired but then Dean had started cutting his hair short and Sam was told to grow up and stop being so needy.

Dean's eyes widened almost comically as he registered what Sam had just said and Sam stared as his brother's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed audibly. Dean's heart was going a million miles an hour, Sam had never been with a guy, and Dean would be his first in a way.

Sam stared as Dean's pupil seemed to swallow the iris and he could feel the hard line of his brother pushing against his hip. The hardness had gone down significantly during their conversation but appeared to be back with a vengeance and a different kind of blush began to spread across Sam's cheeks.

"That's really…I mean. Fuck, Sammy. I'll take care of you, I'll take such good care of you, baby"

Dean's words were growled out and he pushed his forehead against his brother's. Sam could feel Dean's breath ghost over his mouth and in that moment all he wanted was to be kissed by Dean again, to be claimed and feel belonged again. But instead another thought bloomed into his mind and Sam yanked his head back so quick it almost hurt.

"You have? Like with a guy?"

Sam knew his brother had done many different and adventurous things in his sex life but Dean was always pretty open about it and he had never said anything about being with a man. Not even hinted. Dean blushed ever so slightly and shrugged his shoulders, a small sheepish smile twitching his lips.

"I was curious"

Dean's smile was soon replaced with what Sam could only describe as a smirk. Sam was honestly pretty surprised and maybe a little hurt, he thought he knew everything about Dean and this seemed like a pretty important fact. Sam figured he should ignore the hurt; Dean didn't have to tell him, Sam just wished he had.

"Um…how was it?"

Sam shuffled as he spoke, feeling more than a little bashful. Dean laughed the laugh that made Sam feel warm and always brought a smile to his own face. Sam stared into Dean's eyes; they were bright and full of mirth, the sides crinkling with the force of Dean's chuckle.

"It was okay, thanks for asking"

Dean spoke softly, amusement clear in his voice and Sam blushed as Dean reached out his hand to push his brother's hair away from his forehead and behind his ear.

"Just okay?"

Sam didn't know why he was asking that. It wasn't like he wanted a play by play of Dean's experience. Actually, the thought of that made a weight settle in his stomach and his heart rate to speed up. Dean simply nodded, the hand that had moved his hair was now absently tracing lines into his neck and Sam could feel each burning trail seconds after Dean had stopped touching that part of skin.

"Why just okay?"

Sam should probably shut up; further questioning was likely to make him more uncomfortable than he already was. The funny weight in stomach seemed to grow the more he thought about the people who have shared Dean's bed and Sam knew logically that he was jealous but he didn't want to admit that because it was just stupid.

Dean smiled softly, his eyes the colour of moss and Sam wanted to stare at him forever. Dean leaned down and brushed his lips against his brother's ear.

"They weren't you"

Sam's body arched without his permission and he couldn't stop the small moan that left his mouth. Dean moved his lips from Sam's ear down the length of his neck, nipping gently as he went.

"Any other questions because I'd really like to put that mouth of yours to better work, sweetheart"

Sam felt heat flash through him and pool in his stomach, replacing the heavy weight.

"Just one more question"

Dean groaned softly at Sam's answer and although it was more from frustration that anything else the vibrations across Sam's neck still caused the younger man to shiver.

"Ask away then"

Dean continued to mouth at Sam's neck as he spoke and honestly despite what he said he was quite happy to stay kissing his brother's neck if Sam still wanted to talk.

"Um, it's a bit personal?"

Sam's statement came out sounding more like a question than he had intended. It was supposed to be a warning but instead sounded like he was asking for permission. Dean simply hummed into his neck and Sam took it as the approval it was.

"Did you, uh, I mean were you…"

Sam trailed off not quite sure how to phrase his question or if it was question he ever really needed to ask because he was pretty sure of the answer anyway.

"Are you asking if I topped or not?"

Dean questioned him with a good natured chuckled and placed a kiss under Sam's ear. Sam blushed furiously but bobbed his head to answer that yes, that had indeed been his question.

"I did. Top I mean. You know we don't actually have to do that if you don't want to. There's lot of other stuff we could do"

Dean's little smirk was downright sinful and Sam wanted to kiss the stupid smile off his face. Sam's heart started to pound in his chest as he realised that he could, he could kiss Dean and Dean would kiss back. He could feel a smile creeping its way onto his mouth and Sam knew that Dean had noticed because a similar smile was blooming on his brother's face and Sam was struck with just how stupidly beautiful Dean really was.

Dean's eyes were brighter than Sam had ever seen them and they practically glowed in the soft light of the room. His smile made Sam's heart stutter and Sam without much thought closed the short distance between them and pressed his mouth to Dean's.

Sam felt a hand wind in his hair and another drag down his side, hooking under his thigh and hitching his leg over Dean. He groaned into his brother's mouth and brought his other leg around Dean's waist, pushing his brother further against him and creating more friction between them.

Dean's hands slipped under the back of Sam's boxers, his wind hand splayed over the naked flash and squeezed. Hard. Sam's gasp was lost in the kiss and he felt more than heard his brother's answering groan. There was no space between the brothers and Sam never wanted to be separate from Dean ever again, he would live and die this way with no complaints.

"Sammy. So beautiful, Sammy. Gonna take care of you, baby, promise"

Dean's words were moaned into his brother's skin and with every touch Sam's insecurities slipped away. Sam knew that Dean would take care of him, he always had.

Sam was beginning to realise that Dean was pretty vocal as when Dean finally slipped them both out of their boxers and Sam was a panting mess, all he could hear was the constant praise streaming from Dean's mouth mixed with a curse and groan of his brother's name.

Dean's hands were strong as he held Sam, his mouth hot and his words loving. And Sam, although insecure and shy, felt safe and cared for in his brother's arms. His legs clenched harder around Dean and Dean's hips shoved down hard against Sam's. Their bodies were slick with sweat and every thrust was bringing them closer to the edge.

"Shit, sugar. Fuck"

Sam was burning again and his nails clawed at Dean's back as his brother groaned filthily into his ear. His body shuddered as Dean rocked their hips together and his toes curled as Dean continue to mumble about how good he was, how beautiful he was.

Sam's orgasm ripped through him, wrecking him as he screamed out his brother's name. He could hear Dean groaning into his neck, feel his fingers tightening their hold on Sam – surely leaving bruises, and finally feel the splashes of come onto his belly.

Sam lay on the bed, his chest heaving and his cock spent and stared at Dean. His eyes were screwed shut, a deep red flush along his cheeks and his lips swollen and kissed. Dean flopped down onto Sam, his lips mouthing silent words into his brother's neck.

After an eternity or maybe it was mere seconds, Dean rolled off Sam and onto his back. Sam lay side by side with his brother and with both their come cooling on his stomach and fear crawling into his veins he chanced a look at his brother. Things would be different now, there was no going back. They hadn't fucked, hadn't done anything more than rub against each other but they had changed. It didn't matter if they changed for the better or for the worse, they had changed and Sam suddenly felt very small and very vulnerable.

Dean turned to look at Sam and stared at him, seconds ticking by. Dean's eyes dropped down to the mess on his brother's tummy and without thinking he scooped up his t-shirt and mopped it up.

"Thanks"

Sam's throat was impossibly dry and his voice sounded more like a croak than anything else.

"Sure thing, Sammy"

Dean smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Sam felt unreasonably cold all of a sudden and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and hide away from this awkward situation. He stared at his brother and thought to himself what now?

Dean, as always, sensed Sam's discomfort. He coughed and fiddled with the off white sheet beneath him.

"Look, it's like 4am. Can we save the big heart to heart moment and the actual thinking until morning? Let's get some shuteye, alright"

Dean's big brother voice was on full force, the one that told Sam that he was not to argue. If Sam was being totally honest he agreed that now wasn't the time to talk about it. They definitely needed to talk about it, no matter how much Dean would try to put it off, but the older man was right, they needed sleep.

Dean nodded to himself with Sam showed no intention of arguing and sat himself up. Fear flashed through Sam, making his blood run cold. Was Dean going to get out of the bed? Sam didn't think he could take it if Dean left him to sleep in his own bed like nothing had happened.

Sam's heartbeat slowed as he watched Dean pull the covers over the both of them, a silent message that he was sleeping with Sam tonight. Sam released a breath he didn't know he had been holding and shuffled an inch closer to his brother. He heard the small chuckle leave his brother's mouth before he felt an arm drape over his waist and pull him onto his side. Sam was pulled flush against Dean, his back against the older man's front and he felt a small kiss on his shoulder as he settled in next to his brother.

"Go to sleep, Sammy"

Dean's words were soft and quiet as he nuzzled his nose against Sam's silken hair and the younger man simply hummed in response and smiled sleepily.

Things had changed and Sam knew that in the morning light everything would be different, but curled up in his brother's arms with Dean's lips still on his neck, Sam was content to leave the thinking and worrying until tomorrow.

A/N: Hello! I don't think I've updated this quickly before haha! Anyway please let me know if you want more as it totally inspires me to write more thanks for reading xx