I couldn't resist...

Chapter 5

A barn owl called somewhere through the night, the sound was lonely and sad. Sitting with her back against a lone pine tree that grew on the bank near the lake, Jane sat there, curled into herself due to the cold. She could sense the upcoming snowstorm but that wasn't really on her mind. She sighed, running her hand over the face, not really caring if it would snow or not. In Willow Creek, the occasional late blizzard was expected.

The sudden sound of hooves caught her attention and she glanced over her shoulder through the moon-silvery glow. After a moment, she could see the shape of a woman on who was mounted on a horse. She glanced at her watch, which showed the time was all it was past midnight and Jane wondering who the hell would be out at this ungodly hour, bedsides herself.

"Hey, Janie." she made out her mother's voice. Why was her mother out here this time of night?

"Ma? What are you doin' out here at this time of night?" Jane asked incredulously. Her mare, Bambina, slowed down and fell into a trot, throwing up sandy lake soil with her hooves. "Well, when I looked into the night I noticed a lonesome figure by the lake under your tree, so I figured it could only be my daughter with something heavy on her mind. I thought maybe you needed to talk." she replied, dismounting her horse. Jane sometimes wondered if her mother had some sort of maternal telepathy.

"Really? What the hell were you doing; scanning the whole area with a night scope? It's dark for God's sake. You couldn't have seen me from your window." Jane shook her head in disbelief. Sometimes her mother could be a handful and quite nosy.

"The porch lights are all on up at your place. I could see your silhouette. A woman in a Stetson gives away a unique shadow." Angela answered unambiguous. Jane knew that the ranch foreman, Vince, had been stopping in every hour all evening to check on Lou.

"Why did you think it was me? It also could have been Vince or some other farm hand we hired." Jane asked looking over the silent shore. Sometimes her mother had a sixth sense.

"Process of elimination. I just know of only one person who is crazy enough to be sitting out here all by herself in the freezing cold." Angela replied with a lopsided grin and a role of her eyes. She drew up in front of Jane, letting Bambina graze. Leaving the reins to dangle, she stepped to her saddlebag. Jane heard glass clink together. As her mother came up to her she noticed the two bottles of beer.

"I thought you could use this." Angela said to her daughter, while holding out a bottle of beer. Jane ran a thoughtful gaze over her mother. Her mother was petite and with brown hair; she was still a beautiful woman at fifty-eight.

"You and Pop fighting again?" she asked in a low tone and took the bottle from her mother. Angela laughed as she sat beside her. Moonlight played over her face, the gentle glow showing her few wrinkles.

"Your Pop gave up fighting with me years ago." She handed Jane a bottle opener. "He noticed years ago that it was a waste of time to fight with me because he always lost." she grinned. Jane chuckled as she set herself to the task of opening the bottles.

"No, all is fine on my home front." Angela said looking at her daughter. She braced her forearms on her upraised knees. Jane popped open a beer bottle for her mother. Her mother rarely drank beer and it appeared that her mother seemed to be very interested about her daughter's current state of mind.

"That bottle is going to be a dead soldier before I leave," she announced.

"Uh-oh. You gonna need it?" Jane asked in a playful tone. "No, but I think you are. You've been a bit distracted the last few days." Angela said silently.

"Distracted?" Jane asked, feign innocence. "As in staring off into space and not noticing when we call for your attention. Tell your mother what has been eating you up lately."

Jane knew she had been preoccupied, since first meeting Maura because she had been unable to get her off her mind. "Nothing's eating me. What makes you think that?" she took a sip of beer and when she swallowed she nearly choked. "Jesus! What is this shit?"

Angela took a taste and grimaced. "It's Gail Smith's homemade beer. Your Pop says it's got the kick of a sawed-off double-barrel shotgun." Jane chuckled and took another gulp from her bottle. Her mother's eyes went wide. "That bad?" Angela laughed.

"Okay, spit it out. I knew something was bothering you." Jane played with her bottle and took another long gulp.

"This stuff tastes like shit." she said and crunched her nose.

"Janie, language. I understand that Gail's beer can give you a bad case of the squirts, and don't you dare cough."

"Really Ma?" Jane gritted her teeth, curled her lip, and stared at the dark liquid.

Angela took a big gulp. "Be brave. Gail's a dear. I want to tell her how good her beer actually tastes but you are right."

"Huh?" Jane hummed questioning her mother. "It tastes like shit." While they sipped the beer, they talked about the upcoming weather and decided they both smelled snow in the air. Then chatted about Frankie's family. Jane drank about half of the bottle and started to feel the tension flow out from her body when she finally said, "I met her this week, Ma."

"Ah," Angela said knowingly. Then she asked, "Her, who?"

"You know who I mean. Miss Right, the girl of my dreams. The girl that I never thought would ever show up. I took her out on a date tonight."

"Oh, Janie, that's wonderful. I told you it would happen, sooner rather than later." She twirled her bottle. Then, frowning, she asked, "But why the long face? Didn't she enjoy your company?"

"She did and we had a great evening out. I brought her home and then I kissed her and from there everything went wrong. She got sort of pissed and told me to leave." Jane sighed.

"What did you do Jane? Did you try to go straight for her panties?" Angela asked mocking Jane. Jane gave her a warning look.

"Really, Ma? Straight to the point, huh?" Jane rubbed a hand over her face. "No I had no intention to get into her panties tonight. I just kissed her goodnight, you know, how you're supposed to do after you enjoyed the company, right? A simple first date kiss but it seems like I managed to screw it somehow." Jane felt a flush creeping up her neck. She and her mother were close, but usually Jane didn't discuss her love life with her mother.

Angela's eyes widened. "Wow. That must have been some kiss." she laughed.

"Yeah, wow. I just lost it and well, she did too. Who would have guessed that a woman who kisses with her mouth closed would make me feel thunderstruck."

She clenched her jaw, shook her head. Her mother was silent for a few minutes, "How old is she?"

"Twenty-nine."

"Is she religious or something? When I first met your father all those years ago, I was a little shy around him. The Rizzoli family members are a little intimidating when it comes to romance and you are definitely a Rizzoli." Angela chuckled.

"No, Ma, I don't think so." Jane propped her elbows on her knees. "She's just—it's been a while for her, and I suppose you could say she's also a little green."

"At twenty-nine?" Angela stated surprised.

"Yeah." Jane said as she drank from her bottle; then placing it between her lean long legs. "It seems that she is a little distrustful, when it comes to dating."

"She is wary of you?"

"Yeah, but not like most of the gals I dated. She was so sweet and funny but also reserved. I think she's been through a bad relationship, gotten hurt, or something. That's my guess, anyway."

"Hmm." Angela shook her head, her expression bemused.

"I think she is as attracted to me as I am to her…," Jane added, "but she's afraid of getting hurt again."

"Ah," Angela said knowingly. "How'd you come up with that?"

"Well, when I kissed her, she was right there with me until I pulled away, and then; bang, she looked at me like I'd kicked." she sighed. "Sometimes I think all women come from different planets. I don't suppose you have any insight to share on the female psyche? Because mine doesn't understand a thing." Jane said.

Angela smiled. "Sweetie, everyone is different. You should know that. Look at you and your brothers. Is your crush pretty?" "Ma, she ain't my crush, and no, not pretty, she is beautiful." she whispered the last word.

"Uh-oh. You got it pretty bad, huh?" Angela chuckled. Jane sighed and said, "I just—yeah, pretty bad. The first time I saw her, I felt like I was hit by a truck. And it's not just her looks. It was something else— like, well, I don't know. I can't really explain it."

Angela smiled sympathetically and said, "Honey, no one can explain the mystery of love." Angela grew thoughtful again as she sipped her beer. "You say you think she's been through a bad relationship? And how did that work without knowing how to kiss?" Jane's jaw clenched. She stared sightlessly across the lake.

"I didn't say she doesn't know how, but that she's out of practice and a little green. I'm only guessing, but I think she was very young at the time she had the relationship. Seventeen or maybe eighteen years old. You know how relationships are at that age."

"And she's never been involved with anyone else since?" Angela asked incredulously. Angela had a hard time believing that if the girl was beautiful, she had not been involved in any romances.

"She's handicapped." her daughter whispered.

"She's what?" Angela asked, thinking she had heard incorrectly.

"Handicapped." The word came hard, catching at the back of Jane's throat. "Like a cripple. But I'm sure the political correct term is paralyzed, Ma, a paraplegic. She was injured twelve years ago in a barrel-racing accident."

Angela sat there in silence, digesting this information. "I don't think anyone has been standing in line to date her since then. A wheelchair has a way of scaring people off. I don't know who the guy was that hurt her, but he was probably some immature little jackass she knew in high school." Jane scoffed, anger rising in her, thinking about Maura getting hurt.

"Oh, Jane." Angela's eyes darkened in the moonlight. She frowned thoughtfully and gazed across the lake for several seconds. "Not saying you aren't right …" she said softly, "but having worked in a rehab center, I'd say that she has been through a lot rejections and restrictions since her accident. So it's no wonder that she has become wary and distrustful. She protects herself in any way she can and that might make her seem wary."

"Could be," Jane conceded. "Going by the things she said, I got the feeling that most people run the other direction when they realize she's in a wheelchair." she shrugged. "Hell, to be honest; when I first realized she was a paraplegic, I wanted to run too, but I had already asked her out and I didn't want to hurt her feelings." she swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment. "So I took her on a date, thinking it'd only be just for one evening and then afterwards, I could do a graceful fade-out."

Angela said nothing, which prompted her to continue. "I got to her house late, because Lou went into labor, and then I couldn't get a hold of her because her phone was off the hook. She thought I'd stood her up, and when I finally arrived, I could tell she'd been crying. I felt like a jerk. When I told her about Lou, I expected her to be pissed. Instead, she was very understanding and sweet about it."

"That's a nice switch," Jane's mother said with a smile. "Most times, don't your dates get pissed if you're late because a horse requires your attention?" Jane grinned broadly, "You could say that, yes. As in furious. So it was even better surprise that I had such a wonderful time with Maura. She's bright and funny and interesting. I've taken women out who weren't worth a dime. I took her to the mud pulls, fed her a hot dog, and had more fun than I remember having in ages."

Angela laughed incredulously, "The mud pulls and a hot dog? She must be a very special young lady."

"Yeah, there's just something about her, you know? I've got this strange feeling in here. I can't describe it." She flattened a hand over her chest. "This bone-deep feeling. I'd like to explore the possibilities, see if … well, you know, if we can go further and establish a relationship, but now I doubt she'll give me the chance." Jane sighed, thinking about how this wonderful evening had taken its turn to the worse.

Angela said nothing for a long time, her gaze trailing slowly over her daughters face in a way that had made her squirm when she was a teenager. "I see," she finally said, her mouth twitching as she suppressed a smile. "You're worried about the sex."

Jane's throat felt as if a cruel hand had closed over her larynx. She swiped at her nose and looked away. "Damn, Ma. Cut right to the chase, won't you? There are some things I'm not comfortable discussing with you."

Angela laughed and said, "Since when do we beat around the bush in this family? There are no taboo subjects. You were comfortable enough to bring all your dates home and holler the whole night." Jane blushed red thinking about her not so gracious times.

"Well, for me it is a taboo subject." Angela chuckled, "So I'm right. You are worried about the sex." Angela bumped Jane with her arm. "Come on. Relax a little. I may be your mother, but I'm also a retired nurse. You can't scare me away with any of this and you may discover that my input is enlightening."

Jane nodded, "I don't doubt that. It's just that … all right, yes. I am worried about the sex." She felt her mother's gaze upon her. "Don't look at me like that. I'm a jerk and I know it."

"I wasn't thinking that at all." Angela replied. "Yeah, well, it's what I'm thinking. She's so sweet, Ma." Jane whined. "Good sex is a major concern to most men and women. I believe you're normal in that respect." She took another sip of her almost empty bottle. "There's nothing wrong with that."

Jane relaxed slightly and said, "I have to admit, it seems that well ... I don't know Ma." she suddenly threw her hands in the air. "I don't think she is capable of... you know."

Angela laughed and leaned sideways, bumping her daughter again. "Where did you get the idea paraplegics can't have sex?"

"That's obvious, isn't it? I mean she's paralyzed for God's sake, Ma. No sensation from the waist down. Maybe some people wouldn't care, but I like partners who enjoy that particular activity as much as I do." Jane scoffed.

"You're making an idiotic assumption. A common one, but its dead wrong. Most paraplegic women are capable of having a healthy sexual relationship."

"Really? Are you sure?" Jane asked, now curious. Angela arched an eyebrow. "Is she special enough for you to listen to your old mother?" Jane narrowed an eye, "Yeah, you could say that. And Ma, you're far from being old."

"Thanks honey and yes, a lot of paraplegic women enjoy active sex lives. A paraplegic woman can achieve pleasure but sometimes in a different way from an able-bodied woman, but everything being relative, who's to say they enjoy it less?"

Jane gave her a questioning look. Angela chuckled slightly because sometimes her daughter was a bit narrow minded. "She may experience pleasure in other places in her body. It is what is called a 'Phantom Orgasm'." Jane chuckled and rubbed beside her nose. "No, I don't guess it is. You sure about this, Ma?" Jane asked her mother, still not completely convinced.

"Absolutely. Do you think I'd say so if I weren't true? Even if normal orgasms are absent, I've heard that paraplegic women are usually fantastic lovers. They are more willing to go that extra mile than an able-bodied woman because they want to please their partners." She raised her eyebrows and smiled. "When two people care deeply for each other, they aren't afraid to be creative if necessary, and sometimes that's the very nicest kind of love. Not perfect in the usual sense, but beautiful because it's extraordinary."

"Hmm." Jane hummed.

"It sounds to me as if you're on the verge of falling hard for this young lady."

"Yes." she admitted.

Angela thought about it for a moment and then stated, "I know it's difficult, but try to be analytical for a moment. You say she really got into it when you kissed her?" Jane nodded. Angela smiled knowingly, "Strange, that. She must have been experiencing a strong physical reaction somewhere. In her elbow, perhaps?" Jane chuckled and then grew sober as she recalled the sweet way Maura had melted against her and trembled with desire when she nearly touched her breast. Maura had been every bit as aroused as she was. Jane would have bet her entire financial portfolio on that. "Damn, Ma, you're right. Fireworks were going off somewhere."

"Probably in the usual places. It's a very good indication, at any rate." Angela said as she watched Jane nod her head in agreement.

"As for her asking you to leave? This is just your mother's take, all right? But I think I know why."

"Why?" Jane asked and fixed a piercing gaze on her mother. "If we're right and she's suffered from many rejections, just think how she must have felt, responding that way to you. Especially, if it wasn't apparent to her that you were feeling the same way."

Jane winced and swore under her breath. "She couldn't realize what your intentions were because said she is what you call it, 'a little green.' When you pulled away, she may have been horrified. I know I would have been." Angela stated. "I can't say for sure. But if I'm right, she probably hopes she never sees you again."

"Oh, Christ." Jane swore under her breath.

"It isn't the end of the world, sweetie. Fences can be mended." Angela said and patted her daughter's shoulder.

"How?" Jane asked. "You're your father's daughter. Trust me, you'll think of a way. If you want to that is. Your father swept me of my feet, but you better be very serious about her, otherwise, let her be." She reached over to stick a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear.

"But" Angela leaned forward to peer at her daughter's downcast face, "if she's really the girl you've been searching for, you'd be the biggest fool on earth to let her slip through your fingers. Don't let a wheelchair stop you. If you've got that once-in-a-lifetime feeling, there's nothing that's so great an obstacle it can't be overcome. How's that song go that you like so well? 'If you have love in your heart, you can move a mountain.' Love can make miracles happen, honey." Angela said in her sweetest tone.

Jane exhaled and asked, "Do you think I'm nuts, Ma? To be feeling this way about a girl I just met?" Angela tossed out the remainder of her beer and used Jane's shoulder for leverage as she gained her footing. The empty beer bottle in her hand, she gazed toward the mountains where the Rizzoli Farm and Ranch sprawled farther than the eye could see.

"I think you're a Rizzoli," she said softly, "You got that from your father by the way. He fell so hard but I didn't make it very easy for him." Angela chuckled, recalling that very old memory. "How does a gal know if it's love?" Angela frowned thoughtfully and replied, "You just do. It's not something you can explain to someone else or even to yourself. You just know." She splayed a hand over her heart and said, "A feeling, way down deep." Her eyes began to dance with twinkling laughter. "Of course, sometimes it's only heartburn. So be careful."

"You're a big help." Jane rolled her eyes.

"There you are on your own. Only you know how you feel. Let that guide you." Angela gave her last bit of advice. Jane watched as she made her way down back to the ranch.

"Hey, Ma?" Jane called after her.

"Hmm?" She stopped and looked back.

"Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?" She smiled and resumed her pace. After stowing the bottle in the saddlebag and remounting Bambina, Angela sat there for a moment with her hands braced on the saddle horn and asked, "What was her name again?"

"Maura," Jane said huskily.

"Ah, Maura. I like that." Angela said thoughtful. "Goes nice with Rizzoli."

"Well, I just have to woo her first." Jane whined running her hand through her unruly dark locks.

"Yes, you do," Angela agreed. "It's absolutely unnecessary to say this, I know, but I'll say it anyway. This girl has been hurt enough. You could hurt her so very easily."

Jane thought to herself, 'Oh yeah, like I haven't already done that yet.'

The next 'chapter' from the book will be divided in three or otherwise I'll update a year from now again ;-)