"Admitting Your Feelings"

Stiles woke up in a daze, he couldn't see well at first, but after a minute of blinking and trying to focus he could finally see clearly. Memories of last night flooded to him and he sat up, frantically looking around his room for any evidence. Once he was sure there wasn't any he let out a sigh of relief. Stiles got up and immediately fell right back down, last night must have been too much for his body to handle.

His legs stung from where he cut, he pulled his boxers up and saw the ugly red scars covering his thighs. Stiles sighed, putting his head in his hands. He went too far last night, he told himself he needed to stop the last time he did it, but obviously he doesn't listen to himself.

Stiles gathered some new clothes and went to the bathroom, he peeled his clothes off and started the water, making sure it wasn't too hot, so his cuts wouldn't sting to bad. Once the temperature was to his liking he got in, letting the warm water wash away any evidence of last night, and hopefully his pain.

x

When Stiles entered school, he felt as though everyone's eyes were on him. He was paranoid, he thought people knew what he did. In the back of his mind he knew that it wasn't possible, but after you do something like that, you tend to feel like people know. Guilt sets in, and it eats you alive.

Stiles saw Scott waiting at his locker, he had a huge smile on his face and was practically jumping up and down. "What's up bud?" Stiles raised his eyebrow and laughed a little at his best friends actions. All Scott did was smile even bigger, "Isaac asked me out on a date! We are going to a concert!" Stiles groaned, he should've known it was about Isaac. He wasn't really annoyed of course, but they are always doing cute things, going on dates, Stiles thought that Scott would have calmed down about it by now, they've been dating for a month.

"That's great bud" He put on his smile, and opened his locker, once he looked back at Scott he saw a sad puppy dog look on his face. "Are you okay? You stormed off yesterday..." Scott's face had a concerned look, Stiles knew his friend was concerned for him, he'd run off without much of an explanation yesterday at Derek's. "I'm fine Scotty, just been stressed about classes and haven't been getting much sleep" Stiles tried his best to convince him, making sure his heart beat was regular so Scott didn't sense anything off.

Scott nodded his head and put his hand on Stiles' shoulder, "If you need to talk I'm here Stiles, I have to go to Mrs. Schilling's though, I need help on a question from yesterday's assignment" Scott smiled sympathetically at Stiles and walked off, leaving Stiles to himself, which was a dangerous thing to do. Knowing what Stiles could do to himself.

x

The day went by fairly fast. It was already the end of the school day, and Derek hadn't texted them to come over, which was surprising. Usually by 30 minutes into 6th period Derek had texted them to come to the old Hale House to train. Stiles took the no text's as a day off, well, he hoped that's what it meant, he would hate to have to turn around once he was half way home because Derek sent the text to Scott later than normal.

Stiles went straight home, receiving no texts from Scott, which was a good sign. He went up to his room and sat down in front of his computer, starting it up and browsing the web. Stiles decided doing some more Banshee research couldn't hurt, and maybe even do some other supernatural research, seeing that research was the only thing he could actually do besides talk someone to death.

About 5 hours went by, and Stiles had looked up about every supernatural creature he knew about, found out everything there was to know about a Banshee, did his homework, cleaned his room, and even done the dishes. Who knew how much stuff you could get done when your home alone with nothing to do.

Stiles' father would be home around 10 tonight, and it was 7:28 now. Stiles decided to go grocery shopping, after seeing there was barely nothing to eat. He went and grabbed some of his dads food money, and walked out to his jeep, getting in and driving off to the store.

x

Stiles got back about an hour ago, it was 9:23 now, and he was sitting in front of the tv watching New Girl. A couple of minutes later he got a text, looking at his he saw it was from Derek. He opened his phone and read the text.

From Sourwolf

9:26 pm

Come to the loft

Why would Derek want him to come to the loft? More importantly, why did Derek text him this? Why didn't he text Scott to tell him as usual? Stiles was confused, all these questions running around his head, it took him a good 5 minutes to respond back to him.

To Sourwolf

9:31 pm

Uh okay be there in a bit.

Stiles got in his jeep and prepared himself. He was still insanely confused on why Derek had texted him. Stiles decided to just brush it off and drive to Derek's, he would find out what's up when he got there. For now he would focus on the road, and not Derek's weirdness.

x

When Stiles got there, Derek was already at his front door waiting for him. Stiles couldn't tell if anything was wrong from his face, but yet again, Derek is a master at hiding emotions, he looks annoyed all the time. "Stop sitting in your car and get in here Stilinski" Derek's voice was monotone, but this time he didn't sound like he wanted to murder the younger boy, which was good.

Stiles got out and walked to the front door, standing there, waiting for Derek to either let him in or explain. All Derek did was walk back into his home, so Stiles followed him, standing there awkwardly. "What did you call me here for?" Stiles raised his eyebrow, asking Derek to explain. Derek sighed, "Why did you run off?" for a second Stiles thought he actually saw concern on his face! He continued to look, and sure enough Derek Hale actually has more looks to him than just annoyed and pissed off! Shocking.

"I told you, I needed to study" Stiles stuck to his story, not daring to tell him the real reason. He would never let anyone find out that. Derek's face twisted into a knowing look, "Your lying, your heart skipped a beat. Tell me the real reason Stiles, please" Derek's face was gentle and Stiles actually felt like he could trust in him. So, he decided to tell him why he left, just not what he did.

"I feel like I'm expendable. You guys don't need me, all I do is research shit for you guys. I'm nothing special at all, I'm a stupid human. Not a werewolf, Banshee, or hunter! A weak human. I'm not a part of this pack, I don't belong with you guys. You don't want me here, I don't think you would care if I left, you never wanted me here, I'm a tag along for Scott. I'm annoying, like you said" Yes Stiles was aware he was throwing a pity party for himself, yes he was aware Derek would laugh at him, but he asked, so Stiles told him.

"Don't say that. You are important to us. If you left-" Derek stopped talking and bowed his head, putting it in his hands, he took a deep breath and looked back up at the depressed boy in front of him, "I would go crazy. I need you here." Stiles opened his mouth a bit, shocked by the Alphas words.

"Don't you hate me?" Derek quickly shook his head, "No I could never hate you Stiles" Derek smiled a bit, he smiled, even if it was a bit! Who knew Derek Hale could smile?! Stiles smiled wider and nodded his head. "Well, thanks Derek" Stiles put his hand on Derek's shoulder briefly. Stiles was sitting next to Derek now, he looked at the time and saw that it was 10:06 now, his dad was most likely home. "Do you need to go?" Derek saw Stiles looking at the time and Stiles nodded, "Yeah, my dads probably home" They both got up and went to the door, Derek opened it, and Stiles walked out. They said goodbye and with that Stiles drove back home.

His dad wasn't home yet, so he suspected that he had to stay a little later. Stiles went to his room and laid down. He thought about what happened at Derek's and laughed. Stiles was confused, but it didn't matter. Derek was being nice and he wasn't going to argue with that.

That night Stiles fell asleep, thinking about the brooding, confusing, sour wolf alpha. While that alpha was at his loft, falling asleep thinking about the younger, talkative, depressed boy. Both dreaming about the other, dreams that they would never tell anyone.

Thanks for all the love on the last chapter guys! Means a lot :D I hope you guys like this chapter :). xxx