AN: Merry Christmas! I'm sorry, not gonna make excuses. Please enjoy if anyone is still interested.

Brittany

I didn't know what I was doing.

I couldn't think.

All I could do was walk quickly away from the source of my pain.

No. The source of my anger. I would not let this happen, I couldn't let myself be sucked into that place where all I knew was pain and heartache.

I was weak then, during all those months of yearning, waiting for her to come back to me, searching for the thing in my possession that would bring her back. And now this?

Just when I had begun to feel normal again, she knocked me back down. I cursed the hope I felt fluttering in my heart, wanting to crush it down but not able to let myself hurt again. I had lived too long without hope. Now that I felt it blooming there was no way I could force myself to let it go.

That realisation only made me angrier.

"Britt! Wait up!"

It took me a moment to realise that it was my name being called, and a moment longer to recognise the voice. Part of me wanted to just keep walking; I really didn't want to see anyone right now. And so I did just keep walking, I don't think my legs could have stopped even if had wanted them to.

"Where are you going? At least let me drive you home."

That statement had me faltering slightly. Home? I didn't know the meaning of the word. The last time I had felt the comfort of home, I had been lying in bliss, my skin raw from a tongue so passionate it had created flames on my skin.

"Come on." It was less urgent now that I had stopped walking; a hand gently enclosed my forearm.

I looked into Vanessa's eyes and saw my reflection there, I couldn't remember the last time I had looked this close to crying. I looked so vulnerable, like a child. That just made me angry again.

Still, I let her guide me by the arm to her car, placing me in the passenger seat. My jaw ached as I kept my teeth clamped together, stopping any emotion from showing on my face.

I turned my face to look out of the window, away from Vanessa as she started the car, I didn't want to look at anyone at the moment.

I liked Vanessa, but I didn't know her, not really. And she definitely didn't know me.

I felt my knuckles bruising my thighs as I tried to stop them from trembling.

XXX

Several Months Earlier

It had been too long.

Since that moment in Times Square, there had been no whisper of her whereabouts. No intuition, no feeling, no sudden thoughts of what to do next.

There'd only been one thought remaining in my mind since the shocked numbness had begun to subside.

Get to New York.

I clung to it like an obsession, as if it had been her who'd spoken the words softly in my ear.

I was here now. Still alone.

Well, not alone. There were a long line of applicants either side of me hoping to claim a spot in the prestigious school of arts, Julliard. I was about to be called to perform the piece I had prepared.

I wanted this more than anyone else here. Of that point I was positive. But it was also true that my reason for wanting it wasn't exactly the same as theirs. In fact my dream of dancing professionally had been set aside a long time ago. I actually hated it: dancing.

It sounded like a stupid thing to say when I was stood waiting to audition for a dance scholarship but it was true. I hated dancing.

I couldn't stop though; not when it was the only thing that let me breathe anymore. When I would contort my body to the rhythm of song I would feel her arms around me, pulling me in close. It probably wasn't real but nothing seemed to be real and I needed the feeling of her much more than I hated it.

I needed to let go and just feel and immerse myself in something that wasn't real. People had told me that my dancing was almost unbearable to watch now without becoming overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with what, they never say but I guess that's what happens when you sit and watch someone struggle with an internal conflict.

I almost despised the idea of getting a place at Julliard. Not because I would have to dance all day, but because they would expect me to control it, put a noose on my emotions. As if I didn't struggle with them enough as it was. I couldn't possibly attempt to restrain the one chance I allowed myself to feel.

But dancing was my ticket to New York, so here I was.

They asked me to step forward and so I did. They asked me to dance and I did. And when the music stopped, so did I. I noticed the same look I always got after dancing nowadays, parts impressed, stunned and, weirdly enough, scared.

I faced the alumni as they processed. Then finally a woman cleared her throat, looking to the sheet of paper in front of her before addressing me.

"Well, thank you for that Miss Pierce. Now we'll just ask a few questions." I was expecting this, having seen my predecessors go through the same routine.

And that's what it was, a routine. The answers were just as generic as the questions. It was as superficial as a beauty contest. I wouldn't have quirked an eyebrow if someone had said 'world peace' when asked what they hoped to gain from their time at Julliard.

And sure enough:

"Firstly, what do you hope to gain from your time at Julliard, should you receive the scholarship?"

I tried my best not to roll my eyes, it would be a lie to say that I wasn't sure when I had turned so cynical but it was at times like these when I missed the old me.

"Nothing." I wasn't sure who was more surprised by that answer: them, the other applicants, or me.

It took them a minute to compose themselves. Almost as long as it took them to find order after I had just finished dancing. And I feel like if they hadn't been so impressed by my dancing then I would have probably been told to leave immediately. The woman look more intrigued than anything though.

"Nothing? Do you care to elaborate, Miss Pierce?" At least they were listening I guess, rather than looking completely bored with the monotony of the answers like before.

"I guess I mean that I don't really hope to gain anything. I've learnt that hoping is pretty much a pointless exercise. I think I expect to be taught by great teacher and maybe something will stick, or maybe it won't. But I'll turn up to every lesson, even if I hate it. And I'll listen to all the teachers, even if I completely disagree with what they have to say. I mean, I think… personally I think the real question should be why would you want me to learn at your school?"

I had almost forgotten how terrible at verbal communication I was. They seemed even more offended by my second response. A man leaned forward to speak over the woman addressing me.

"I will admit that I haven't seen a better dancer in a long time Miss Pierce. But to have the audacity and arrogance to expect us to beg you to attend our school is just…" at that point he started shaking his head in disbelief and I decided I should probably start mediating the situation quickly, forgetting that a scholarship was on the line, and just honestly not wanting to have offended anyone.

"It isn't arrogance, sir. My reasoning is that I would rather go to a less renowned school who would be pleased to have me than somewhere who is too… high and mighty to care about its student's needs." I shrugged to show that I wasn't attacking them.

They seemed to think about it for a moment before deciding to move on.

"Why do you dance, Miss Pierce?"

I shrugged again, I saw them all waiting for another controversial response but I was going to stick with telling the truth.

"I keep forgetting how to feel, and dancing reminds me. Even if I hate it sometimes, I can't not feel."

As the other dancers auditions after me, I saw the alumni's eyes flicker to me every so often, so did the other people in the line with me, and I decided that I wouldn't stick around after we were dismissed.

My fingers drifted to the pearls around my neck that she had given me as I'd left her; they did that subconsciously every so often when I felt under pressure, like I was seeking assurance. Assurance from what, I didn't know. Some days I felt like not wearing them, but then on those days I didn't feel whole.

Present

"Lana?" I was snapped from my thoughts by Vanessa's questioning call and realised we had just entered my apartment. I dropped the bag I didn't remember holding onto the floor and stepped over it as I made a beeline for my room. I hoped to get there before someone started asking questions. I was working really hard to keep control of my emotions as it was.

I closed my door behind me. That was the priority, separating myself from the looks or the questions that might be thrown my way. But once I was alone I didn't know what to do with myself. I went to sit down but my bed was too soft and squidgy and then my desk chair was too hard. I felt like a bipolar goldilocks and when I decided to pace my room I found that my hands and mind were too empty. Thoughts started storming against my temples and my ears pounded.

I could feel it building up. I was losing control again, going back to that place. After all of the time I had spent getting away from that weak and watery version of myself she hung over me like a cobweb, waiting to stick to my face like a permanent mask of depression.

That's it, I thought, I won't carry on like this.

'She's gone.' I told my reflection as I gripped the mirror more tightly than was safe. My image shook.

'She's gone.' I repeated, this time defeated. Was I talking about her, or my old self? Either way it was true.

I dropped the mirror as the corner cracked, quickly scrambling around for my wastepaper basket.

Lana entered the room just as I began to hurl. I only knew this because I felt her holding my hair back.

'Brittany, I don't know how to say this… well actually I do. You're a mess. And I understand that this isn't something anyone wants to hear whilst puking but it is something everyone needs to hear.'

'Maybe lay off of her a bit, Lana? To be fair that was some weird supernatural crap going on back there. Maybe Brittany got like, I don't know, penetrated by some ghosts or whatever.'

'Dude! Penetrated? Really? I swear you need a licence to use that word it's so rapey. Penetrated.' She added for effect at the end, shivering.

'Oh my god!' I groaned, my cheek resting on the side of the basket. 'Please stop saying that word!'

'Penetrated?' they asked in unison. I think the look in my eyes was a sufficient enough answer.

'Sorry sweetie, what do you need?' Lana soothed as she stroked my hair.

'Alcohol.' The word came from nowhere, or maybe it was the response I had heard so often from others in times of turmoil that I assumed it was the answer I was looking for. Either way as soon as I said it, it skipped from an idea to a plan of action.

'Scuse you? Vanessa please tell me that I have earmuffs on and therefore am incapable of hearing correctly.'

Vanessa ignored her though and went on with her own line of questioning: 'What about the whole fruit thing?'

'Isn't cider fermented apples? Get me some of that.' I told her as I stumbled to my feet and moved unsteadily towards my closet, yanking the doors open.

It fell at my feet and I did nothing but stare down at it before stating in a completely resolute voice, 'We're going out. And I am not being sober tonight.'

I heard footsteps retreating and only then leaned down to retrieve him, the little stuffed wolf I had named Sam. I held him to my nose, but what did I expect? Of course he didn't smell like anything but my closet. I always tried though, every time I had a nightmare I would try and find traces of him.

I lost so much that day.

'You're never coming back, are you?' I finally let myself say it.

'Holy shit, this is it.'

I quickly spun my head to see that Lana was still there, an expression on her face I couldn't quite place.

'What?' I asked, my voice sounding scarily void of emotion.

'Nothing!' she backpedalled quickly, realising she'd said it aloud.

'Let's get this party started!' I heard yelled from the living room along with the clanking of glass bottles.

'I'll see if she needs help, get dressed.' She spoke quickly, leaving the room before I could question her further.

I placed Little Sam back in my closet gently patting him on the head before looking for something to wear. I saw red material and made my mind up before my hand even clutched the fabric.

It felt like tonight I had something to prove. Whether it was to myself or not I couldn't say.

XXX

Vanessa

'Britt, slow down.' Lana pleaded, and I tore my eyes away from The Dress to see that the pleading was indeed necessary.

Brittany was drinking like it was going out of fashion and I had no idea whether to stop her or join her. She should totally make an alcohol commercial cos I would buy whatever she was selling.

'Britt it's the middle of the afternoon, stop.' As Brittany finished her second bottle of cider.

With the weird attitude she'd been in today I was expecting her to say something biting back, or callously laugh her off, basically the opposite of what actually happened.

Brittany placed trembling palms to her temples and looked at Lana; the alcohol seemed to finally be taking effect.

'I'm unravelling Lana.'

For some reason I just knew she wasn't talking about the effect of the alcohol. Watching her this way… I'd never felt so sad in my life, so I could only imagine how she was feeling.

I once again found myself cursing the evil ex. How could anyone leave this amazing creature so broken? Clearly this person had no soul.

'Breathe Britt. And eat this.' She shoved some weird bean dish under Brittany's nose. For obvious reasons Britt and I had skipped our usual lunch date and so consequently she was drinking on an empty stomach.

Yeah. Not good.

Luckily, Brittany still seemed sober enough to take the advice and started shovelling food into her mouth at a rate which would have been disgusting with anyone else but of course, with her scrunched up button nose and her wide baby blues, she looked adorable.

Which was a complete contrast to The Dress.

Oh, what dress? Only the sexiest damn dress in the world. Seriously, everyone always says there's nothing sexier than the naked body. Well they are wrong. Because this is. This is sexier. I was sure of it.

It was red, tight in all the right places and damn, so short.

In all honesty though, Brittany just revs my engine, no matter what she does so I guess I'm not really a reliable source. We'll just have to wait until we actually leave this kitchen and see what everyone else thinks.

Of course if anyone gets handsy they'll have to be ready to meet me and those two years of karate I took when I was a kid.

XXX

'Where's Brittany?' I yelled over the music and the obnoxious sound of lip smacking coming from next to where me and Lana were currently stood.

I had just been to get a glass of water for Brittany as per Lana's request and had come back to find a pensive Lana – which would freak anybody out – and an absent Brittany.

I was seriously beginning to believe what my crazy witch-aunt said about the full moon with all of this out of character behaviour happening. And believing anything she says is always a bad idea.

Instead of looking at me to answer, Lana just raised her arm in front of her to point to a figure in the crowd. I swear she looked like she was possessed, but who was I to judge? Especially when I followed her line of sight and saw what she was looking at. I think I must have looked a little possessed too.

So Brittany was dancing…

I felt exactly like I did the first time I saw her but then times that feeling by a gazillion. Then add three. That's what I felt like right now.

She just looked so intense. Her eyes were closed, head flipping from side to side which only emphasised the fact that her fringe was sticking to her forehead in an insanely hot way and also made me realise that she must have been sweating. I mean, I'm not surprised, it was hella tight in here. There were so many people breathing into the humid air and creating heat, like they're cavemen who just discovered that friction causes fire. Even I was sweating and I'd not done a lick of dancing… wait, what was my point?

Oh yeah, Brittany was glistening with sweat. She was perspiring what I am sure would be the most heady, beautifully consuming scent known to woman, I was surely not the only one to imagine that slick skin in a completely different, better scenario.

I wanted her. I didn't even know what I would do if I got her, probably clam up and faint or fall to my knees and demand that I am unworthy. But still, I just wanted her.

And I'm not saying that the whole club came to a standstill, but I definitely was not the only person to notice how amazing she was.

But was I the only person to quickly become aware that Brittany was not alone? There wasn't a person with her or anything. But there was something there. I found it hard to wrap my head around it because in all honesty it just looked like weird black tentacles or something wrapping around her body and moving with her. No, it wasn't tentacles. That the wrong word and makes me think of that gross video that my older cousin made me watch once that I'll never be able to erase from my memory.

They were more like… tendrils. Or wisps of oily smoke.

Did she know they were there? They didn't seem menacing. Which was a totally jacked up thing to say. What kind of supernatural-clearly-an-effect-of-the-full-moon-thing wasn't jacked up? But the way they caressed her was – and I shudder to say this – but loving, protective even.

I was snapped out of my thoughts at that last statement, as well as the fact that someone had nearly knocked me to the floor with their insane monkey dancing. How could I possibly think these creepy things that had no logical explanation other than my witch auntie's full moon theory were protecting Brittany?

I needed to save her.

I righted myself with the help of Lana to see that Brittany had disappeared, the wispy things along with her.

And I realised that I'd spilt Brittany's water down myself.

Well fiddlesticks!

XXX

Brittany

I'd just opened my eyes whilst dancing when I spotted them. Well, him mostly.

I took it to be serendipity that I'd been drawn to the dance floor so suddenly and then that I'd been overcome by the desire to open my eyes at the exact moment that he'd walked through my vision. I was quickly learning that things don't happen for no reason, especially in my life it seemed.

So I followed him.

As I was weaving through the crowd, careful to keep my eyes on the back of his head as he walked ahead of me, I thought back to the first time I'd seen him.

It was in her apartment, back before I knew everything there was to know about her. Hell, I still didn't know everything there was to know about her.

That was the thing about Santana – I felt a pang in my chest as I thought the name – she was good at keeping secrets.

But anyway, she'd been threatening him, banishing him from her home. And what struck me then struck me just as powerfully now.

She wanted me to see it. The whole scene as she made clear that he was the enemy, or at least in a league with the real enemy. What I can't quite figure out was if she had anticipated this moment, so far in a future when she wasn't here. Did she want me to avoid him? Or follow?

The old Brittany would have avoided him, no doubt. But I wasn't her anymore, and I was sick of sitting around doing nothing.

If he had answers, I wanted them.

I'd just caught up with him as he was passing through a door. Not just a door, it was the exit.

I hesitated over the threshold before realising that he was getting away from me again.

'Hey!' I shouted after him before I could stop myself. It was too late to change my mind now so I decided to look as confident as possible so he and his friends were less likely to consider me easy prey.

I strode towards him, looking him dead in the eye. I saw his own eyes widen in recognition before hooding over lecherously. Whether it was because he liked the way I looked or because he saw me as a different kind of prey I wasn't sure and I didn't honestly want to think about.

'I know you.' Is all I said.

'Yes you do.' He replied smoothly, 'Although the last time we met was under unfortunate circumstances. The name's David.'

'Brittany. But you already knew that.'

I had reached him by this point and I felt his heavy arm weighing down on my shoulders as he steered me along with him.

'Listen Brittany, we're going to a bit of a private party and you should really join us. Show there's no… hard feelings. What do you say?'

There really wasn't much to say; especially seeing as he'd already placed me into the back seat of a car, barricading me in with his own immense frame as he sat next to me. There were two other guys in the front seat. Their hair was blonde too. Other defects from her pack.

In all honesty, I didn't care that they hadn't given me much choice in the matter. If I'd have had one it would have been the same.

It was at that moment I decided I probably shouldn't drink again. It had to be that that was having such an effect on me. I had never contemplated murder so calmly before when sober.

Because it was true, resolute in my mind.

By the end of tonight, at least one of these men would be dead.

XXX

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I almost missed it. If David hadn't nudged me as he'd spoken, his words would have remained part of the background noise that their previous conversations had provided throughout the car journey.

But as things turned out I did hear, and I did see what he was pointing towards.

'That's where we usually go for a few drinks to chill. Hey maybe we she should go there afterwards.' He said this last part to his friends in the front seat, which should have been a warning to me but I was too caught up in the name of the bar I'd seen.

I definitely remembered The Howling Moon from my trip with Santana. My trip to the lake.

My mind was racing; this must mean that we're driving closer to the lake. But it also meant we were getting further away from civilisation. I fingered my pearl necklace in thought, refusing to panic.

A plan formed itself in my mind. In all honesty it was half a plan at best and mainly consisted of getting away from these three dogs and hopefully destroying a few of them in the process.

They finally pulled up after driving about another mile. There was desert stretching out on one side of the road and wilderness on the other. They drove onto the desert sand before hopping out with me in tow. They left the key in the ignition so that the headlights could enable us to see.

'Ok how should we do this?' One of the guys asked as he tossed the other two beers before opening one of his own. I saw that there were plenty more where they came from in the trunk which he left open.

Obviously they didn't offer me one and I was pretending to be randomly wandering with my head down although really I was looking for something to use as a weapon.

'My thinking is this: Sebastian wants her dead, right? So we kill her. But who says we can't have a little fun first?' David said to the other two.

'What are the rules?' the third pipes up.

Found it! I think, proudly. I was sobering up more and more and suddenly realising that I had planned to kill three supernatural wolves in their own territory whilst I was drunk. Thankfully, I had just spotted what may be the key to my rescue. I faked a little stumble as I moved closer to the plank of dusty wood.

'Okay so she gets a five minute head start into the woods and the first one to catch her gets to kill her. We'll tell the boss that we were bringing her to him so that he could kill her himself but that she ran away and we accidently killed her whilst trying to catch her. Sound good?'

It baffled me that these had once been good wolves loyal to Santana.

'Heck yeah! A good old fashioned hunt.'

'D'you hear that blondie- umph!'

Yes, he did make that noise because I had hit him in the face with a plank of wood.

If I was a stupid drunk then these were cocky, stupid drunks. Who the hell the leaves keys in the ignition and your hostage on the loose?

'Get her!' it was half snarled and I looked behind me just long enough to glimpse David and the other guy I hadn't hit changing into their wolf forms.

I shuddered at the sight as I slammed the car door shut behind me and revved up the engine. They definitely were nothing like Santana's wolves. Their fur wasn't fluffy and snow white, instead it was a greasy grey, it looked slimy and I imagined a pungent smell emitting from it.

They were already fast approaching by the time I'd managed to start the car up. I was really cursing myself for not allowing anyone to teach me how to drive. Now I was having to figure it out, whilst drunk and panicked. This would not end well.

I slammed down the pedal under my foot and when nothing happened I slammed down the pedal next to it and sighed in relief when the car started moving, although the sigh came out as more of a huff when my back slammed into my seat at the speed the car started moving.

As I spun the car around to face the road there was a huge shudder and even though I didn't look back because I knew how stupid it would be to focus on anything other than the road in front of me I had a pretty good feeling I had hit another of the wolves as he'd been diving for the backend of the car.

I zoomed forward, trying to straighten out the wheel. I only had one wolf to worry about now. I just had to get onto the road and it should be a straight drive from there.

Unfortunately of course that didn't happen. There was a huge bang as my back tire was punctured by wolf teeth and I spent a few agonising moments trying to figure out how to hold the steering wheel to cause the least amount of damage to the car and therefore myself before slamming into something, hard.

Thank god for airbags.

I looked out of the windscreen expecting to see a tree. What I actually saw stopped my heart.

A boulder. A boulder with foreign words carved into its face.

Without a second thought I scrambled out of the passengers door seeing as mine was slightly crumpled. And I began running through the woods.

Behind me, over the sound of my heart pounding, was the sound of a baying wolf, followed by another. And another.

Great, so they were all alive. Which meant I was dead.

Unless I could find it.

I felt air whistle past my ear as my foot caught on a tree root and I stumbled towards the ground. I think that was the only point in the evening where I was glad I wasn't completely sober, because I couldn't feel a thing. I just bounded straight back up and carried on running.

For a time I thought they were getting closer, the wolves. I would hear one howl, then the answering call of the others. And each time they seemed to be getting nearer.

Until suddenly they weren't. They were slightly further away. This moment seemed to coincide with the exact moment I felt it. That feeling of dread that was so familiar to the last time I was here that I found comfort in it. I was getting closer.

Soon I realised I had been running for at least ten minutes without hearing the wolves. Then I broke through the hanging branches into the clearing. Finally, I felt safe.

Which is a strange thing to feel when you're alone in the middle of the woods at night but somehow it was true. I felt close to her here. This was where we first kissed, even though I sneezed immediately afterwards, and this was where she told me about herself.

The lake, it was where she said the souls would come after they died. I know it was probably a metaphor but standing here now I could almost feel it thrum with energy, despite its stillness.

And it really was still. There was no breeze in this clearing; everything seemed to have stopped here, even life itself. I couldn't see a single creature. Maybe that's why the wolves couldn't come here; the feeling of dread plus their animal instincts must make it impossible for them.

Me on the other hand, I felt drawn to the lake, and its smooth, pearly surface. I found myself crouching down next to it, peering at myself in the reflective glass of it. Even when I saw myself I leaned in further still, it was then that I realised that it wasn't an intangible pull bringing me closer to this lake, there was some magnetic force tugging me.

I reared back but my necklace pulled against me, and snapped. I shot my hand out to grasp it but my fingertips paused centimetres from the pearls.

They were floating. No, not floating, they were resting on the surface, and from that place where they were slowly sinking past the gel-like surface into the depths, there was a light. It spread outwards, blinding, until the whole lake was glowing, just for a second. Then it was gone.

I realised that my necklace was about to dip below the surface for good and without thinking placed my hand into the strange water to get it.

The next thing that happened should have caused me to scream, but I think I was too far gone beyond terror to scream in that moment.

There was a hand on my wrist, tugging. I scrambled back, trying to pry my hand out of its grip as it tried to pull me down with it into the oily water.

I had just wrapped my other hand around the disembodied wrist when the hand in mine squeezed. Almost in comfort, but mostly a plea.

Realisation dawned. This person wasn't trying to pull me in; they were trying to pull themselves out.

I planted my feet on the ground and, using both of my hands, pulled as hard as I could. Then I took a step back and pulled again. And again, and again.

And again.

Until I was lying back on the bank, heaving for breath, and so was the body on top of me. Sheets of oily black hair resting on my chest.

She lifted her head.

'Oh my god.' I rasped, voice breaking.

There was that smile, more vivid than the photograph in my head, the colour of her lips a red I could never create with paint.

'Actually, that's my sister.'