Title: Aftermath
Spoilers: War Crimes
Rating: Pg13
Pairing: Leo/Jed friendship
Summary: Leo's reaction after the General informs him of a civilian
attack during the war in which Leo served. Angst.
Leo McGarry stood shaking and stunned, his mind a blur of worn images and cracked radio reports that he thought long ago buried. Drawing his attention from the window, he unsteadily made his way to the low sofa and sat down, his hands working frantically to loosen the tie around his neck that suddenly seemed too tight. His throat muscled worked hard to swallow the bile that was creeping sickenly ever upwards, and the cold sweat that beaded over his body was doing little if nothing to ease the trembling that had taken complete control over his person. His eyes wandered aimlessly over his office, across the maritime pictures on the walls and the wartime paraphernalia strewn tastefully and discreetly around the room. He was both unseeing and unfeeling.
The knock on his door made him visibly jump although his eyes never left the spot they had settled on and his mouth didn't open to acknowledge it.
"Leo?"
The blur of someone standing to his right made him turn his head, but his eyes remained fixed downwards.
"Leo are you ok?"
Leo raised his gaze to meet the worried face of his assistant Margaret. It took him a few seconds to remember what she had asked him. Wetting his lips he quietly cleared his throat, rubbing a hand over his face as he spoke.
" Yeah Margaret, what do you need?" he asked quietly
Margaret hesitated a moment, her face clearly showing the worry and confusion she was feeling.
" The President's meeting with the Vice-President has just finished." She reported just as quietly, as though scared to shatter the atmosphere that had settled over the room.
An uncomfortable silence fell as she waited for anything from her boss. He sat unstaring again, his eyes glazed over and hands fidgeting in his lap.
"Leo?"
Without looking up, his voice as quiet as it had been only with a slight tremble too it now he hesitated slightly before he spoke.
" Could you tell the President I'll be with him in a few minutes, and.."
A few beats
" Could you get me a glass of ice water please"?
With clear instructions Margaret quickly jumped to it, scurrying from the room and clicking the door closed behind her.
After a minute, Leo hesitantly stood, his hands holding the arms of the sofa for support as his legs began trembling again. When he heard the door open once more a few moments later he turned his back quickly.
" Thanks Margaret, just leave it on the table, I'll be out in a minute."
" I thought that my days of delivering room service where pretty much over once I was sworn in, but there you go."
Leo quickly turned and straightened on hearing the Presidents voice, and watched as he carefully placed the pitcher of water and the glass on the table.
"Mr President, I was just going to look over a few."
" I've just had Margaret in my office close to tears, I passed your General in the hallway who looks as though his puppy just died and for the first time since we got here you weren't loitering outside the oval at the end of an important meeting, or any meeting for that matter, so I've decided I'm just going to sit over here till your ready to tell me what's up."
Leo's eyes followed the President as he made his way over to a chair and sat down, folded his hands neatly in his lap and stared directly at Leo. Shifting under the scrutiny Leo walked over to his desk and picked up a few sheets of paper.
" We should talk about 435. Crandale isn't going to take no for an answer this time and Josh and Toby agree that."
" Leo.."
Leo stopped and stared at the papers in his hands, watched as they trembled under the weight of his emotions.
" Sir, I think we should talk about 435." He said rather agitantly, his eyes never leaving the paper in his hands.
" And I think we should talk about whatever it is that has happened in the last few hours that has you looking as though your gonna hit the bottle." The President retorted calmly.
Leo turned hot eyes towards his friend and locked his jaw, the paper in his hands bending and distorting under the clench of his fist. When he spoke again his voice was very quiet, but held an edge that wouldn't go un- noticed.
" With all due respect Mr President its personnel, and really none of your business."
He watched as the President slowly stood and clasped his hands behind his back.
" Really? Cause I was thinking that if it's affecting your work then it sort of becomes my business."
Leo slammed the papers down on the desk with such force that the family pictures crashed to the floor.
" Goddammit Jed! I'm trying to be professional here.you said you wanted to stay out of it and that's exactly what I'm trying to do!"
He began to pace behind his desk, his breath coming unsteadily, sweat beading once more across his forehead.
" It was supposed to be a military target! We were briefed, they said it was a military target and we bombed it. I piloted the plane, I punched in the co-ordinates, I was in command and I pushed the godamme release! I pushed the release! I was responsible, me!"
Leo's voice had been steadily rising throughout his outburst and he was panting when he stopped for breath, leaning both hands on the table with his head hanging bonelessly.
Leo didn't see Jed as he approached slowly, but his voice, as quiet as it was, seemed to find its way through the grief induced fog that was consuming his mind.
" What did you hit Leo?" he asked gently, bracing himself for the answer
Leo's arms where shaking as he slowly raised his head to meet the gaze of his friend.
" Civilian target. Eleven people. No survivors." He reported unsteadily, his eyes blinking back the wetness that was threatening to overspill.
Leo watched his friends face change from shock to anger to sympathy.
" Oh Leo." Jed muttered sadly, blinking heavily as he thought of things to say.
There was a moment of respectful silence that felt odd because of the shouting that had filled it only moments before.
Jed looked up when he heard Leo shift. He was picking up the pictures that had fallen flat and stacking piles of paper that had shifted. He seemed to be trying to compose himself.
" General Adamsly just told you?" Jed queried softly
"Yes sir" Leo looked up to meet the eyes of his President, all business, all calm.
Jed noticed the change immediately and nodded his head in understanding.
" Mr President I'd like to apologise for my behaviour.."
" At ease Leo, at ease! Hey..it's me, and it's you.and I'm glad you told me."
Leo pursed his lips and nodded his head firmly once, before dropping his gaze and staring once more at the desk.
" For what it's worth, you didn't do anything that you knew to be wrong. We where are war Leo, I don't need to tell you that. You were misled, misguided and basically lied too. Use that to ease your conscience."
Leo stared steadily at the President as he answered.
" With all due respect sir.were still doing it."
Both fell silent as they contemplated this.
Fade out
Leo McGarry stood shaking and stunned, his mind a blur of worn images and cracked radio reports that he thought long ago buried. Drawing his attention from the window, he unsteadily made his way to the low sofa and sat down, his hands working frantically to loosen the tie around his neck that suddenly seemed too tight. His throat muscled worked hard to swallow the bile that was creeping sickenly ever upwards, and the cold sweat that beaded over his body was doing little if nothing to ease the trembling that had taken complete control over his person. His eyes wandered aimlessly over his office, across the maritime pictures on the walls and the wartime paraphernalia strewn tastefully and discreetly around the room. He was both unseeing and unfeeling.
The knock on his door made him visibly jump although his eyes never left the spot they had settled on and his mouth didn't open to acknowledge it.
"Leo?"
The blur of someone standing to his right made him turn his head, but his eyes remained fixed downwards.
"Leo are you ok?"
Leo raised his gaze to meet the worried face of his assistant Margaret. It took him a few seconds to remember what she had asked him. Wetting his lips he quietly cleared his throat, rubbing a hand over his face as he spoke.
" Yeah Margaret, what do you need?" he asked quietly
Margaret hesitated a moment, her face clearly showing the worry and confusion she was feeling.
" The President's meeting with the Vice-President has just finished." She reported just as quietly, as though scared to shatter the atmosphere that had settled over the room.
An uncomfortable silence fell as she waited for anything from her boss. He sat unstaring again, his eyes glazed over and hands fidgeting in his lap.
"Leo?"
Without looking up, his voice as quiet as it had been only with a slight tremble too it now he hesitated slightly before he spoke.
" Could you tell the President I'll be with him in a few minutes, and.."
A few beats
" Could you get me a glass of ice water please"?
With clear instructions Margaret quickly jumped to it, scurrying from the room and clicking the door closed behind her.
After a minute, Leo hesitantly stood, his hands holding the arms of the sofa for support as his legs began trembling again. When he heard the door open once more a few moments later he turned his back quickly.
" Thanks Margaret, just leave it on the table, I'll be out in a minute."
" I thought that my days of delivering room service where pretty much over once I was sworn in, but there you go."
Leo quickly turned and straightened on hearing the Presidents voice, and watched as he carefully placed the pitcher of water and the glass on the table.
"Mr President, I was just going to look over a few."
" I've just had Margaret in my office close to tears, I passed your General in the hallway who looks as though his puppy just died and for the first time since we got here you weren't loitering outside the oval at the end of an important meeting, or any meeting for that matter, so I've decided I'm just going to sit over here till your ready to tell me what's up."
Leo's eyes followed the President as he made his way over to a chair and sat down, folded his hands neatly in his lap and stared directly at Leo. Shifting under the scrutiny Leo walked over to his desk and picked up a few sheets of paper.
" We should talk about 435. Crandale isn't going to take no for an answer this time and Josh and Toby agree that."
" Leo.."
Leo stopped and stared at the papers in his hands, watched as they trembled under the weight of his emotions.
" Sir, I think we should talk about 435." He said rather agitantly, his eyes never leaving the paper in his hands.
" And I think we should talk about whatever it is that has happened in the last few hours that has you looking as though your gonna hit the bottle." The President retorted calmly.
Leo turned hot eyes towards his friend and locked his jaw, the paper in his hands bending and distorting under the clench of his fist. When he spoke again his voice was very quiet, but held an edge that wouldn't go un- noticed.
" With all due respect Mr President its personnel, and really none of your business."
He watched as the President slowly stood and clasped his hands behind his back.
" Really? Cause I was thinking that if it's affecting your work then it sort of becomes my business."
Leo slammed the papers down on the desk with such force that the family pictures crashed to the floor.
" Goddammit Jed! I'm trying to be professional here.you said you wanted to stay out of it and that's exactly what I'm trying to do!"
He began to pace behind his desk, his breath coming unsteadily, sweat beading once more across his forehead.
" It was supposed to be a military target! We were briefed, they said it was a military target and we bombed it. I piloted the plane, I punched in the co-ordinates, I was in command and I pushed the godamme release! I pushed the release! I was responsible, me!"
Leo's voice had been steadily rising throughout his outburst and he was panting when he stopped for breath, leaning both hands on the table with his head hanging bonelessly.
Leo didn't see Jed as he approached slowly, but his voice, as quiet as it was, seemed to find its way through the grief induced fog that was consuming his mind.
" What did you hit Leo?" he asked gently, bracing himself for the answer
Leo's arms where shaking as he slowly raised his head to meet the gaze of his friend.
" Civilian target. Eleven people. No survivors." He reported unsteadily, his eyes blinking back the wetness that was threatening to overspill.
Leo watched his friends face change from shock to anger to sympathy.
" Oh Leo." Jed muttered sadly, blinking heavily as he thought of things to say.
There was a moment of respectful silence that felt odd because of the shouting that had filled it only moments before.
Jed looked up when he heard Leo shift. He was picking up the pictures that had fallen flat and stacking piles of paper that had shifted. He seemed to be trying to compose himself.
" General Adamsly just told you?" Jed queried softly
"Yes sir" Leo looked up to meet the eyes of his President, all business, all calm.
Jed noticed the change immediately and nodded his head in understanding.
" Mr President I'd like to apologise for my behaviour.."
" At ease Leo, at ease! Hey..it's me, and it's you.and I'm glad you told me."
Leo pursed his lips and nodded his head firmly once, before dropping his gaze and staring once more at the desk.
" For what it's worth, you didn't do anything that you knew to be wrong. We where are war Leo, I don't need to tell you that. You were misled, misguided and basically lied too. Use that to ease your conscience."
Leo stared steadily at the President as he answered.
" With all due respect sir.were still doing it."
Both fell silent as they contemplated this.
Fade out