Hi guys, I'm the new (official) author for this story, Always Beside You, which was originally MelancholicMoonlightCiel75's idea, but she is currently facing some personal problems and wishes for me to adopt her story. I've changed the title to Shattered, and the plot has undergone some (minor) changes, but the main plot still remains the same.

And by the way, MelancholicMoonlightCiel75 wants to thank all of her faithful readers and followers for all the wonderful reviews and favs, and she is sorry that she can't continue with the story. She'll be back as soon as she has gotten over her personal problems.

Warning-Story plot will be a little disturbing to some... (?)

Kuroshitsuji is Yana Toboso's, and the original plot belongs to MelancholicMoonlightCiel75.

Shattered

Chapter 1:

Present 7 June, 2013

Blood trickled down his slit wrists, splattering onto the wooden floor. Ciel stared down indifferently at the red cuts that covered his arms. The lonely moonlight shone on the deep crimson red cuts and the deep crimson red stuffing of his ugly being that was spilled all over the bed.

With each swift motion of the blade, all the pent up frustration was released. All the hate, hurt and frustration were directed at his arm.

Why. A long red cut appeared. Just why. Another crimson red line. Ciel was frustrated. He felt that he was torn apart. Torn apart by his own family. Someone please tell me why. A deep gash appeared. He felt like screaming out in frustration and hatred, but refrained from doing so. Why. Why. Why won't someone just tell me why the fuck am I like this?! An angry, deep crimson red gash rippled through his arm. The scissors flew out of his grasp and hit the window pane.

Staring at the scissors for a moment, he picked up the scissors and held the blade to his pale skin again. Frustrated and driven to the brink of screaming out in fury, Ciel tried to silence himself and pressed the tip of the blade harder, and harder-till the blade pierced his skin- but he hesitated. Blood formed at the tip of the blade, trickling down, but Ciel didn't move. He froze there, breathing ragged, heartbeat quick and drowning out the environment. Ciel remained fixed to the spot, contemplating whether or not to slice up yet another inch of his skin. His pale skin was screaming at him to cut it up, screaming at him to do it. Screaming at him to harm himself. He himself was itching for the blade. But he didn't. Gritting his teeth, Ciel threw the guilty object down onto the blood-stained towel, his arm numb and bloodied. His heart was filled with mixed emotions. Relief, hatred, anger, frustration, sorrow and numbness mashed up together in his heart.

He looked at the scissors glistening under the moonlight. Ciel wanted to do it again, and before he knew it, his other arm was inching towards the scissors. He pulled back, suppressing all the thoughts about the hatred and frustration. But, the scissors, glistening under the moonlight, was calling for him. Ciel sat there, negotiating silently with himself. The scissors glistened, urging him. Do it. Nobody will notice. The scissors seemed to be saying. Nobody will care.

Finally, Ciel gave in. He succumbed.

It wasn't that his family would notice anyway. They're just too busy with other things that they considered much more important than him, or basically they just didn't even bother to care about him.

Whatever it is, his situation has gotten worse in the family. Vincent wasn't that tolerant of him anymore, and neither was Angelina. Elizabeth, somehow, had changed from the shy and gentle little girl to the same dreaded two-faced woman as her mom. Add the three up together, plus abuse and negligence, and you'll get a hell of a life. Basically, his 'family' was indeed making his life miserable, and maybe the huge blow he's received as a mere child was too, although he's too proud to admit. Yes, though Ciel is cutting himself, he still has that one last strand of pride that he'll fight to protect, that one last final piece of pride that was left in him. That one final strand of pride that has prevented him from shattering all these years. He had wanted to give up numerous times, but it was this tiny piece of self-worth that prevented him from doing so.

Though it's difficult for him to admit, Ciel does know that all these years, those feelings and emotions that were pent up and bottled inside him were suffocating him. And one day, he'll finally break and crack. Shattered like a piece of fragile glass. Lying on the filthy ground, waiting for someone to pick him up and piece him back. But that's all that he could do now, wasn't it? Just bottling up your feelings and keeping your guard up in such a ridiculous life seemed like the most logical thing to do right now. What are you supposed to do in a family who hates you, anyways? An abusive father who treasures his step-daughter and new wife more than his own biological son, a biased step-mom, and an arrogant step-sister, all mashed up together. Life just wasn't fair.

Yet sometimes doing nothing was the solution to problems. Maybe cutting could solve all these, too. Solve this freakish problem of self-loathe and frustration. But one thing that cutting could not change was the reality. The harsh, cruel reality.

Maybe it was because of his appearance that his family hated him. Or maybe it was that he was too quiet. Too boring. Or too sickly and frail. But whatever their reason for hating him was, he was determined to change the way they thought of him. He was determined to change himself, just to suit the likes of his family. He was determined to make them like him, although he had already accepted the truth that they hate him. However, that's not going to deter him from changing. Even if it means being fake and lifeless inside.

After every session of blood-spilling, it would always be like this. Staring up at the sky, sleepless for hours, trying to make up the perfect world in his mind. Ciel returned to his blood-stained bed, his mind wandering around the little perfect world that existed only in his head. A world where I could truly be myself and a world where I would be loved and be important in. That is the world I want. But you can't have everything that you want, right…?

Ciel reached up and ran his finger over the bruises and welts that littered his whole body. Another trail of blood trickled down from the self-inflicted wounds. If only he wasn't him, then perhaps he wouldn't have to face this torture called reality. But he just couldn't change the fact that this is him, and this is his life, and that he should suck it up and accept it. Ciel won't. He just won't.

He isn't going to give up this easily.

So, what do you guys think? I'll be glad to have some reviews and constructive criticisms on this story, since it's my first story and I'm not that good at English, to be honest...

Well, thanks for reading! I will try to up my standards in English too!

Bye! Off to typing up more chapters,

MidnightAngelofHurt