Two Sides of the Same Coin 19/19

Author: dettiot

Rating: T for language, sex and violence

Summary: When you're a spy, there's all kinds of occupational hazards when you work with another spy. For Sarah Walker, though, one mission becomes a life-changing experience. Because working with Charles Carmichael leads to protecting Chuck Bartowski.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's Note: It's the end of another fic, one that has been challenging and rewarding for me. I'm so thankful for all the readers who truly embraced this story, especially when it was hard to see where it was going. Special thanks are due to Steampunk . Chuckster, who's been equal parts cheerleader and therapist while I was writing this story. Also thanks to LeighLeighLa, for being a great roommate and offering up a suggestion when I first had the idea for this story that greatly improved it.

Additional author's notes at the end.

XXX

"Sarah . . ."

The sound of her name on his lips, his voice hoarse and deep, made Sarah shiver. Opening her eyes, she gazed up at him. "Yeah?"

"We're giving everyone a show," he said, smiling sheepishly. "Maybe we need to change locations?" He brushed his nose against hers, his hands gently gripping her waist.

And that was a bad thing? She was having a hard time thinking because of how he looked, the way he was touching her, and the burning desire to keep kissing him.

Giving her head a shake, Sarah took a small step back from him. The distance let her mind clear a little. "Yes," she said, wrapping her fingers around his hand and tugging him along with her.

Charles gave her a lazy smile as she led him towards her car. "In a hurry?"

"You're the one who wanted to find someplace more private," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Can you blame me?" he asked, squeezing her hand. "If we kept kissing, in another minute I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions. Except to the LAPD."

She let out a soft laugh-well, it was really more of a giggle, which was not normal behavior for her. But she felt so loose and goofy and happy, even though she knew there was still plenty of talking they needed to do.

Because there was the matter of their careers and how they were going to make this work. Not to mention figuring out what "this" was: would they be exclusive? Would they avoid working together while they were involved? What exactly did Charles see in her?

But for now, she wanted to have a nonverbal conversation with him. Somewhere that they wouldn't get arrested for doing so.

The real trick would be driving them to her hotel and getting to her room without becoming too distracted. She wasn't sure if it would be possible to fight the pull he had over her, especially once they were both in her car. That spicy scent of his filled the interior and she could see his curls were rumpled, possibly from her hands, and he had begun stroking her forearm as soon as he had fastened his seatbelt. She never thought of the skin on the inside of her elbow as an erogenous zone, but it seemed that when he touched her, anything became an erogenous zone.

Sarah started the car and pulled out into the evening traffic, doing everything she could to focus. When his hand began traveling the full length of her arm, stroking down from her shoulder and lingering over her skin when he reached her wrist, Sarah knew she had to say something. At the next red light, she looked over at him.

"You keep doing that, we're going to end up in a car accident." Her voice, rather than having a teasing tone like she intended, sounded thin and breathless. It revealed just how affected she was by his touch. And normally she would be annoyed or embarrassed, but tonight . . . she wasn't.

His eyes locked on hers, their deep amber color going even darker. "We can't have that," he said, his voice soft. He slowly pulled his fingers away from her, clasping his hands in his lap like an overgrown choir boy.

"No," she said, gripping the steering wheel and feeling like an inexperienced girl again. Like she was on her first date and didn't know what to do next.

The rest of the drive back to her hotel was silent except for the sound of the engine and the cars around them. But Sarah could feel the tension coiling inside her. The feeling of embers being oh-so-slowly stoked, just waiting for the opportunity to flare up into a blaze of heat.

She glanced over at Charles a few times, noting how he chewed a little on his lower lip-God, she wanted to do that to him now-and how he gripped his hands together-she wanted him to hold her that tightly. And with thoughts that like, she was right back to risking a car accident, so she made herself face forward and pay attention to the road.

They were nearly there.

XXX

The door of her room nearly slammed against the wall as they stumbled inside, a collection of arms and legs and lips. Somehow, Charles managed to catch the door before it impacted with the wall.

"Nice one," Sarah said, kissing along his jaw as she held on to his shoulders, standing on her tiptoes in order to savor the taste of his skin.

"Don't-don't want to disturb anyone," he muttered, using his grip on the door to shut it behind them. "At least not like that."

She couldn't help a soft snicker as she pulled away to look up at him. "So what are you planning to do that would disturb everyone?"

The arrogant, confident, thoroughly male smirk on his face made her knees weaken. But she wasn't about to let him in on that. So instead, she leaned in and tried to kiss the smirk off his face.

Closing her eyes, she focused on kissing him. On how he moved his lips and tongue against hers, on the tart sweetness of his mouth from dinner and his own natural flavor. It was intoxicating. She found one of her hands had started to twist his tie, pulling him down and closer to her.

He let out a soft groan and lifted his head a little. "You're killing me," he said, sliding his hands into her hair.

"Could you be more specific?" she asked, grinning at him as she felt his fingers stroke her scalp.

"Death by beautiful woman . . . it's a good way to go," Charles said, his eyes dancing as he grinned back at her.

Even as she felt her cheeks go pink and an embarrassed giggle try to escape her lips, Sarah felt the heat between them. She had never laughed during foreplay, let alone during sex. Jokes and giggles and laughter never seemed to have a place in the bedroom. Until now.

And she liked that.

Loosening her grip on his tie, Sarah began stroking her fingers up and down the piece of fabric. "And being driven crazy by some amazingly handsome man is pretty good, too."

Charles ducked his head, his ears going a dull red for a moment, before he slid his hands out of her hair and gently pushed her hands away from his tie. Sarah watched in confusion as he stepped back from her. He took a deep breath, looking nervous. "Sarah?"

Oh, shit. Please, no. She couldn't have screwed this up with just one sentence, could she? She felt cold all over now that they weren't pressed up against each other. What was going on?

"Y-yes, Charles?" she asked, licking her lips briefly. And damn it, she could taste him and she didn't know what she was going to do if he had changed his mind. If his cooler head was beginning to prevail.

His eyes were hesitant and he was rubbing his hands against his trousers. "Could you-I mean, would it be too weird-I was wondering if you would mind calling me Chuck?"

Sarah felt her eyes go wide and her mouth drop open. What? What did he mean? He wanted to be called Chuck? She searched her mind, trying to come up with a reason for his request, but she was so thrown that her brain seemed to have short-circuited. She had no idea why he wanted to be called Chuck.

"It's weird, isn't it?" he asked, his eyes flicking back and forth from her face to anywhere else in the room. "And I've totally ruined the mood, maybe the whole night, but-but I don't really feel like Charles now. I actually never really felt like Charles, it always felt funny to introduce myself like that. And hearing you say Chuck, it sounds right. It sounds like my name, the name for the man I want to be now, and I know it must be strange for you, but . . . but could you call me Chuck from now on?"

As he spoke, he had slowly locked his eyes on hers. And she couldn't look away as he poured his heart out to her like that, with such sincerity and determination. He meant every word he was saying. He wanted to be more like Chuck-he had made his decision, had decided to stop hiding his nerdy side and become one man. At least, that was what she thought. And she didn't know how she felt about that.

Calling the man in front of her "Chuck" would be the last step in accepting that Chuck and Carmichael were one person. The last step to getting to know this man who was the complete package, both Chuck Bartowski and Charles Carmichael. But that didn't mean he would be a spy version of Chuck. He wouldn't be exactly like the Chuck she had known, or the Carmichael she had worked with. She would have to learn who he was, figure out the things he liked and didn't like, his pet peeves and values and favorites.

It would be hard. It would be slightly bittersweet. But it would be so good. She had met two different versions of him and both of them had been good men. But neither had been someone she would risk her heart for. But for this man, the one who had the best of both Chuck and Carmichael, she would make the leap. To have this man in her life, combining those elements from his two sides into one person that she wanted, she would risk it all.

She wanted him. And it didn't matter if his name was Chuck or Charles.

He had stayed silent while he waited for her response, his breathing slowly becoming normal again. But he sucked in a breath when she ran her hands up his arms to wrap around his neck. "Chuck, huh?" she said softly. "You're the only Chuck I've ever met. It makes you special."

It took a moment for her words to sink in, and then the widest, whitest, toothiest smile she had ever seen blossomed on his face. He beamed at her, and it made her think of the Chuck she had used to know, but when he leaned in and kissed her slowly, his hands holding her so tightly, it was like being back in the Dominican Republic with Carmichael.

But actually, it wasn't like either of those things. It was brand-new, because she was getting kissed by Chuck Carmichael.

And she really, really liked that.

Giving in to her urge, she began playing with the curls on the back of his neck as they kept kissing. Unlike their frantic kisses outside the restaurant, these kisses were slow, almost languid. It was like they knew they had more than just tonight, without any discussion.

Chuck's hand slipped under her top and stroked along the base of her spine. She shivered, letting out a soft noise of pleasure against his lips. She could feel his lips quirk up in a smile. "Mmm, I like that," he murmured softly.

Her hands clenched in his hair. Cocky bastard, turning her to jelly and then rubbing it in. She felt her competitive fires-along with other fires-flare up.

Sliding one hand from his hair, she dragged her fingers down his chest slowly. She looked up at him as she reached the bottom of his shirt and then ducked underneath his shirttail, stroking his belly. "And what do you like?" she asked, feeling his stomach muscles jump under her fingers.

His eyes were tawny like a lion's, all yellow-brown amber and full of heat. "You," he said, his voice deep, before he yanked her against him and kissed her hard. Her hand, trapped between them, pressed against his skin as she kissed him back, as she got swept up in the movement of his lips and tongue.

God, he was good at that. But she wanted more.

Sarah moved her hand to his side and began pulling him with her towards the bed. With her left hand, she fumbled with his tie, not making much progress since she had to walk and kiss him at the same time. And when the back of her knees bumped against the bed, the stop was so sudden that she felt herself falling backwards-and pulling him down with her.

With a rush of breath, he landed on top of her, pressing her down against the mattress. Both of them moaned softly at the full-body contact. Sarah pulled her lips away from his and focused on his tie. "Chuck . . ." she said, feeling like she was trying to untie the most complicated knot in existence.

"Need some help?" he asked, his hands stroking her sides as he kissed her neck.

"You-you-" she muttered, getting the tie loose enough to pull it over his head-which also gave her a momentary break from the way his lips felt against her neck. "You're going to pay for this."

The grin he gave her was so amused and pleased, it should be illegal. "I'm gonna pay a lot, I think."

Huffing out a laugh, Sarah started unbuttoning his shirt. "Oh, yeah." She wasn't sure if she was responding to what he said or to just getting his shirt open and revealing his chest. She pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat as she kept unbuttoning and his hips jerked against hers.

He pushed himself up and began working on the buttons of her own top, his face flushed and his hair disheveled. Sarah lifted herself closer to him, bracing herself on her hands as she kissed him slowly. Because he was gorgeous and she wanted to kiss him and this felt so good.

As they undressed each other, Sarah wondered at the twists and turns that had brought them here. It almost felt like from the moment they met, they had been heading towards something like this. She had never believed in things like fate or destiny. Luck, yes. Instinct, of course. There were definitely things at work in the universe that you couldn't see or touch, but they were there, impacting everyone's lives. But the idea that two people were meant to be together, that they were bound by some invisible thread . . . she had never believed in anything like that.

Not until now. Because how else could she explain having Chuck Carmichael kiss her stomach at this very moment? After everything they had gone through together?

There was no explanation. None except that this was meant to be.

Sarah reached down and gently pulled Chuck up to kiss him. "I need you," she whispered against his lips. And if her words meant more than just the sexual sense, it was something that he probably already knew. Since he was a genius and all that.

"Me, too," he said softly, nuzzling her. "Stay right there." He pulled away and reached down to the floor, pulling his trousers up and coming up with a few condom packets.

"Someone was confident," Sarah said, arching an eyebrow. She wanted to tease him, but also . . . she wanted to know what he had been thinking about this date.

"Be prepared," Chuck said, smiling sheepishly and almost shyly. "And . . . and I had this funny feeling that if I only had one, something would happen to it and then we'd be in trouble." He tossed his pants back on the floor and leaned in to kiss her.

She smiled as she kissed him back, running her hands over his shoulders. "A lot of trouble."

He laughed softly and nuzzled her as he got ready. "And we're not in a rush." Chuck paused and looked at her, his expression a little bit nervous. "Right?"

The fact that he was nervous made Sarah want to hug him. And make love to him until his brains dribbled out of his ears. She gently squeezed his shoulders and nodded. "Right. No rush."

A soft smile flashed across his face before he kissed her slowly, settling his body on top of hers. And as he entered her, as they began moving together, Sarah found herself keeping her eyes open. Watching him as he watched her. So when they each fell apart, a few moments apart, they each knew.

XXX

When Sarah woke up, it was to a hand gently stroking her back and warm breath stirring the hairs around her face. Blinking her eyes open, she came face-to-face with Chuck's chest. She was lying on her side, one arm underneath her head and the other draped over his waist. He was in a similar position, although with his longer arms he was able to run his fingers along her spine.

Waking up to him was very, very nice. If he had stayed after that night in the Dominican, who knew what might have happened then? But Sarah pushed aside the what-ifs and focused on the here-and-now. Because right now she was pretty happy.

"You seem obsessed with my back," Sarah said softly, tilting her head back to look up at him.

His hand stilled for a moment before resuming his exploration. "No more than any other part of you," he said, giving her a lopsided smile. "And I like being different."

She wrinkled her nose a little and then propped her head up on her hand to get a better view of his face. "I know that you're different, but what does that mean?"

Chuck shifted, lifting himself up slightly on one arm. "You're beautiful. And it'd be easy to just focus on your face or your legs or . . . other obvious places. So I wanted to give a little love to your back, your wrists-really anyplace that might not get a lot of attention."

The only explanation for feeling tears prick her eyes was all the emotional upheaval of the last twelve hours-of these last two weeks. Because she wasn't the type to be that affected by compliments. She had heard men offer up reams of praise for her beauty and appearance. But something about Chuck's simple words of admiration made her insides feel all fluttery. Because . . . because no one had ever thought to lavish attention on her back.

And that definitely deserved a long, slow kiss. So she leaned in to give him just that, letting her own hand stroke his hip.

He let out a soft "mmmmm" as the kiss ended, his hand stilling on her back and holding her close. Not that she was going to go anywhere. "That's some thank you," he said, his voice lazy and full of contentment.

Pressing kisses along his collarbone and feeling him suck in a breath, Sarah gave him a saucy smile. "There's more where that came from, too."

But as she shifted to kiss a bit lower on his chest, Chuck ran his fingers along her jaw. "Sarah? I-I kinda want to talk to you."

Sarah paused and looked up at him. It would have been easy for him to let her keep going. To put off talking. Hell, that was certainly the thought in the back of her mind as she had begun kissing his chest. But he was right . . . there were things they needed to talk about. Things that she wanted to share with him.

"Okay," she said softly, pulling away from him. This seemed like a conversation that needed clothes in order to happen, so she rolled over and reached down to the floor, coming up with her panties, his boxer briefs, and his shirt. She tossed him his underwear and then stood up to pull on her panties.

When she turned around, buttoning up a few of the buttons on his shirt, she stopped when she realized he was still holding his boxers, looking at her with a slightly dazed expression. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing!" he said quickly, turning and standing up on the other side of the bed, yanking on his boxers. He stood with his back to her for a moment, letting her take in the long lines of his frame, before turning around to face her. And the view from the front was even better, she thought.

"Sarah?"

Her eyes leaped to meet his, which were sparkling with amusement. "Uh-huh, my eyes are up here," he said, gesturing to his face.

Rolling her eyes, she turned and walked over to the mini-fridge, pulling out two bottles of water. She tossed one of the bottles to him as she came back to the bed and sat Indian-style in the middle of the rumpled covers. "Sue me for looking. Because other than you, I've been in a dry spell for quite a while."

He looked at her curiously as he twisted the cap off his bottle of water. "Are we already doing the exes conversation?"

She paused and finished the sip of water she had taken when he asked his question. Because she could brush him off. Keep this light. But . . . but that wasn't what she wanted. At least, she wanted to get things clear between them, even if she felt her stomach tighten at the thought of putting her feelings into words. She wasn't good at that.

But . . . but now it was out there, and she knew that lesser problems had derailed relationships. So why not just rip the bandage off, especially since she had started it?

Carefully capping her bottle of water, she looked at him. "I'm pretty sure agency gossip has spread the word about me and my old partner."

"Larkin, right?" At her nod, Chuck's lips twisted a bit into a half-frown. "I did some training with him. He's not bad."

The grudging tone to his voice made Sarah smile a little. He almost sounded jealous, which was pretty adorable, given the situation. Since it wasn't Bryce sitting in her hotel room while she wore his shirt.

"He mentioned that when he worked with us," Sarah said lightly, remembering Bryce's words at Thanksgiving. In truth, there sounded like there was an untold story about Bryce and Chuck, but she didn't want to go off on that tangent right now.

"Yeah, I read the report about that mission," Chuck said, peeling the label off his water bottle.

Sarah rested a hand on his knee. "It's too bad I couldn't give the full story in my report. About how he really wanted to get back together but I turned him down."

The label fell from his fingers as he looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Sarah said. "He took off on a solo, deep-cover assignment without talking to me first. And then gave me a half-assed apology afterwards. The trust was gone, even if we're just talking about us as partners. And it certainly was gone when it came to anything else, so . . ." Sarah shrugged her shoulders and sipped her water, looking at him as her words sunk in.

"Good to know. Not that I can come up with any reason why I'd want to do something so dumb as that," Chuck said, settling his hand over hers on his knee. "Leaving you without saying goodbye, I mean."

"Unlike what happened the last time we slept together?" The words were out of her mouth before she had even realized it. Sarah looked away, swallowing a little. It had been a long time since she had let herself think about that morning. Of waking up and discovering she was all alone . . . It would appear that she had buried her feelings about that, and now they had come out unexpectedly.

She could feel him tense up underneath her hand. "Sarah . . ."

"I know, I know-you left a note," she said. "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair of me to say-"

His fingers took her chin and lifted her face. "That note was a stupid idea. Leaving you was an even stupider one. Because I didn't want to. It was the last thing I wanted. But . . . but I was different back then, and you were making me feel things I hadn't felt since I was a teenager. I freaked out because I thought I only knew how to be Charles Carmichael and you made me feel like Chuck."

It took a moment for her to grasp what he was saying. "You-you were already feeling like that when we met?"

If he had already been struggling to resolve the Charles vs. Chuck dichotomy inside himself, even before they met . . . it made her wonder about this last year and a half. Changed her role in all this. Made her feel those last lingering nerves, the ones she hadn't even really realized she had, start to dissipate. Because this change wasn't about her at all-it was all about him. He wasn't changing in order to be more like the Chuck she had met, he was changing to be more like the real version of himself.

Chuck nodded, softly stroking her cheek. "I was starting to feel . . . dissatisfied. I had this feeling that there had to be something more. And then I met you and the feeling got bigger. So when I found out about the Intersect and came up with the idea for Operation Bartowski . . ." He let his voice trail off.

Shifting the hand that was under his, Sarah wrapped her fingers around his hand. "That's good to know," she said softly, repeating his words from before. "Because I was curious about . . . about what happened."

"That's the Cliff Notes version," he said, playing with her fingers a little. "I'll give you the full story another time. When I don't have a bunch of questions to ask you."

"Like what?" she asked, gazing at him and feeling equal parts scared and elated. Because when she had asked him out yesterday, she had no idea that they could end up like this so fast. Yeah, she had hoped the date would go well, but this well? No. And after so many months of thinking and worrying and feeling unsure, this felt . . . easy. Simple. Certain.

And that scared her a little. Because nothing was really this effortless, right?

He cleared his throat. "What . . . what did you think of Chuck? I mean, what did you think of the guy you worked with on Operation Bartowski?"

Well, he certainly wasn't beating around the bush, Sarah thought as her throat tightened. But then, what else would she expect from him? Of course he would want to know-both as a man and as an incredibly observant CIA agent. And it seemed like he really needed to know as much as he could about how she felt about the man she had worked with for a year.

"I told you we were friends," Sarah said, gathering her thoughts. "And we were. But . . . but I knew he had feelings for me. I wouldn't let anything happen, though-and not just because of the rules," she hurried to explain. "Yeah, it would have gone against asset-handler relationship guidelines, but it was more than that."

"Was it because you knew what would happen at the end of Operation Bartowski?" Chuck asked, gently squeezing her hand.

"A little," she said. "Because it wouldn't be fair to me or him or you if something had happened under those conditions. But most of all-he wasn't right for me."

His forehead wrinkled. "What?"

Sarah could guess how confusing that must be to him. "That Chuck was a really nice guy," she said, trying to find the right words. "But . . . but he wanted different things than I did. He couldn't understand what it meant to be a spy. The sacrifices you have to make, the compromises you have to live with. I-I didn't want to be with someone that I couldn't be myself with." She managed to give him a small smile, even as she felt clumsy and insecure. "It was hard enough figuring out who I am. I couldn't be Sarah without being Agent Walker, too-although I want to be just Sarah sometimes, you know? And even though he was the one who helped me see that . . . he still wasn't the right Chuck."

As she spoke, his hand gripped hers tighter and tighter. His hold helped to keep her focused. Helped her give him the full truth, even though it made her vulnerable. Opened her up to her feelings in a way she had never been before. Talking like this was even more intimate than sex, because that was just about her body. This . . . this was about her mind and her heart, and she wasn't sure if she had ever shared those with anyone. Not like this.

Chuck hadn't said anything and he was still holding her hand tightly. She made a fist of the hand he was squeezing so she could break his hold. That made him blink and let go. "Sorry!" he said quickly, pulling his hand away. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said, gazing at him. "So-so does that answer your question?"

She hoped it did. She hoped he understood that she wasn't pursuing him in order to satisfy her what-ifs. Or that she wanted him to be anything other than who he was, or at least who he was trying to be. And that was Chuck Carmichael, CIA agent who liked nerdy things.

Other than a slow nod, Chuck didn't give her any more answer to her question. He looked lost in thought, his lips pursed and his forehead wrinkled. Sarah drank a little more of her water until both the silence and the out-and-out appeal of a thoughtful Chuck made her speak. Made her ask the question she had been thinking about for a very long time. "Chuck? What do you like to do?"

"Huh?" he said, looking a bit startled. "What was that?"

His confusion was just as appealing as his thoughtfulness. Sarah smiled at him, even as she fidgeted a little with her water bottle. "What do you like to do? When you're not working, I mean. Because I don't know."

He looked at her for a long moment, then shook his head out. "Sorry. You want to know what I do for fun?"

"Yeah," Sarah said, her curiosity rising at his reaction. "I mean, I'm not really one to talk when it comes to being more than a spy, but . . . but I like shopping. And I like movies. What-what about you?"

This was harder than she had expected. She felt a stab of worry. Was this already turning into a repeat of her relationship with Bryce? Two spies who didn't have anything to talk about? They had been able to have such good conversations during their dinner dates . . . why wasn't it working so well now?

Was it the sex? Did that screw everything up? Should they have waited? Or maybe . . . maybe it was because they hadn't really talked about what they were doing here. That could be it. Maybe. She didn't know.

Shifting on the bed, Sarah thought about making a run for the bathroom. Giving herself a moment to regroup. She had just started to slide to the side of the bed and leave the room when Chuck reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I'm sorry. I just-I was really thrown for a minute and . . . and I'm not used to anyone asking me questions about me." He gave her a lopsided smile. "The Carmichael reputation, you know. Everyone thinks they know me. So they don't really ask anything."

"Even when we first met, I didn't think that. I didn't know you," Sarah said. "And now . . ."

"Now-now that we . . .?" Chuck let his voice trail off, his voice uncertain. Then he shook his head. "This is stupid. This tip-toeing around. I know what I want and-and I think you want the same thing I want."

Her heart seemed to have moved into her throat at his words. Through the lump, she managed to say, "What do you want, Chuck?"

He gazed at her for what felt like an eternity. "You, Sarah. And more of this. Not-not just this," he said, gesturing towards the rumpled bedsheets and his shirt that she was still wearing. "But . . . but this," he said, lifting their joined hands. "It'd be crazy with the way our jobs are, and I've never had any luck with relationships, but I want to try with you. I want this."

God, he was . . . how could she have thought this was turning into the same kind of relationship like she had with Bryce? In just a handful of words, he had staked more of a claim to her-and stated more about what he wanted-than Bryce ever had. And more than that, she had asked him what he wanted. She had felt certain enough that they were on the same page that she asked him to confirm it, instead of leaving everything up in the air so she could wiggle away whenever things got too serious.

She was ready for serious.

Taking a deep breath, Sarah nodded. "I-I want that, too." She felt her cheeks going pink. "That's why I asked you about what you like to do. Why I asked you out in the first place. Because I knew what I wanted. More than just one night."

"Is that so?" he asked, smiling widely at her as he tugged on her hand.

With a smile, she let him pull her into his arms. "Yeah," she said softly, stroking his shoulders slowly and taking in the texture of his skin. "I spent a lot of time thinking it over before I realized I was ready to leap."

"No more 'the simple plan is the better plan'?" Chuck brushed his nose against hers, his breath washing over her lips.

"Maybe," she said with a small smirk. "What about you? Did you plan out every step of what's happened since I arrived in California?"

Chuck let out a soft laugh. "Not exactly. I tried at first, but then I realized you kept surprising me and it was easier-and more fun-to just follow your lead." He began pressing soft kisses along her jaw and down her neck. "And I liked having you in control."

The things he was doing to her neck were so good, she nearly lost the thread of the conversation. So he liked being in the passenger seat? Good. She would give him what he wanted.

Sarah leaned forward, pushing against his shoulders and sending him down to the bed. "Yeah?" she asked, hovering over him on her hands and knees. "You want me to be in control?"

His Adam's apple worked as he swallowed, then he nodded, settling his hands on her hips. "Yes. Yes, I would like to see that."

This was going to be fun, Sarah thought as she smiled at him. Fun and hopefully the best sexual experience of his life. "Then keep your eyes open, Chuck," she said softly as she leaned in to kiss him slowly.

And as she kissed and touched him, as she ran her hands over his body and they lost what little clothing they were wearing, as she took him as deep as she could, she was very pleased that he did keep his eyes open. So she made sure to give him even more of a reward for that.

XXX

The bright yellow light of the rising sun pierced her eyelids and made Sarah wake up. She squinted and then rolled over, her body naturally knowing where Chuck's was in the bed and drawing her towards him. It was magnetic, the pull he had over her.

Magnetic and quickly becoming impossible to resist.

With her face tucked in against his chest, she felt surrounded by warmth and the last lingering vestige of Chuck's own fragrance. She took a small sniff, resolving that at the first opportunity she was going to find out just how he smelled so good.

"Are you smelling me?"

Chuck's voice was soft, lazy, and amused. She hadn't realized he was awake, but she didn't mind. Lifting her head a little, she smiled up at him. "Yes, I am. Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too," he said, brushing a soft kiss over her lips. "And why are you smelling me?"

"Because you smell good, of course," she said, giving him a mock eyeroll.

He laughed. "Duh, of course," he said, matching her eyeroll with one of his own.

Sarah couldn't help laughing. "Oh, wow. Are you really a teenage girl? Chuck Carmichael, master of disguise."

"I think it's been pretty conclusively proven that I am not a girl in any way," Chuck smirked, pressing his hips against hers a little. "Just like you are not a girl, but a woman."

"Good thing you added on that compliment," Sarah remarked, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. "Or else I would have had a real sarcastic comeback for you. Or a knife."

"And just where are you hiding a knife, Agent Walker?" he said, running a hand down her side.

Oh, that was too good of an opening to pass up. Especially since there was something they had done their first time together that hadn't happened yet. Something she had been dreaming of ever since then. She kicked off the sheet and rolled onto her back, lifting her arms over her head and arching her back a little. "You wanna search me and find out?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Chuck said, leaning over and kissing her neck. "Although if I don't find one, I'll . . . I'll be very disappointed."

"Chuck, if you don't do that little something you like to do, I will definitely find a knife."

His head jerked up from her neck to lock eyes with her. Sarah held his gaze, then lifted an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Oh. Right. Yes." He laughed a little. "This is you in control."

"Only for a little while," she said, her voice escaping her lips in a rush as he began peppering kisses over her shoulders and neck and upper chest.

"Mmmmm," he murmured in agreement, his tongue sliding over her skin. Sarah moaned and closed her eyes.

God, she'd never had anything like this. She almost felt drunk on her emotions. Because it was one thing to discover that the night in the Dominican Republic wasn't a one-off or an outlier. To find out that the sexual chemistry between them was just as hot, just as amazing, the second time around. But the jokes, the banter . . . that was new for her. New and intoxicating.

Add in the fact that he wanted something real with her and she wanted that, too, in spite of never wanting that with anyone else and the still-somewhat-unresolved fear that realization had created . . . it was no wonder that every touch and kiss felt amplified. More powerful than just the physical impact. She felt like he could just look at her and she would get hot. If he whispered sweet nothings in her ear, she just might climax.

Although she could be feeling like that at the moment because of what his tongue was doing to her.

Sarah gasped as he settled between her legs and began proving once again just how good he was at that something he liked to do. She gripped the pillow underneath her head, letting him carry her towards ecstasy, fighting to prolong it before what he was doing became too much and she just had to let go. And as she fell, she could feel him crawling up her body and wrapping her in his arms.

It should make her feel scared to death that being in his arms made her feel safe. Safe for the first time in forever. And it did, a little. But the fear was worth it.

As she slowly came back to herself, she could feel him running his hands over her. She shivered a little, feeling overstimulated, and he stopped his hands, bringing them to rest on her lower back. "Okay, Sarah?"

Nodding, she looked up at him. "Yeah," she said softly. "Nice job, by the way."

He snorted softly but grinned at her. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said, stretching her legs out and inching her feet under the covers. Her feet always got cold in bed, but her toes felt like little ice cubes right now.

"So, no knife," he said, giving her a lopsided smile. "But I'll keep looking and I'm sure I'll find it someday."

She giggled softly. "You're very thorough."

"Yep," he said, leaning in to press a soft kiss against her lips. "I'm also hungry. You wanna go get breakfast? We can figure out what we're going to do today while we eat."

"You mean other than come back here and pick up where we left off?"

Chuck flushed and looked at her.

"What? Too much too soon?" she asked, feeling worried.

"No. Well, yes, but-that just made me realize that you sent your report to Graham." Chuck's voice was tentative. "Doesn't that mean you should be moving on to your next assignment?"

Oh. That.

He was right: with the submission of her final report, and Graham's call to Chuck informing him of that submission, she should be moving on. Finding a new assignment, getting ready to fly to a different part of the world, someplace that had a revolution to quash or an insurrection to mount.

Someplace that wasn't here.

Swallowing, Sarah told herself she should move away from him, but she found that her body didn't want to listen to her head. "Yes . . . yes, that's true," she said quietly, lifting her head a little but keeping her eyes on his chin. Not wanting to look him in the eyes and see if he was sad about her leaving . . . or if he might be a little bit relieved.

"Hey," he said, cupping her face in his hand. "It's the job. For now, I'm here and you're going to be moving around. It's okay, Sarah."

Damn it, he would be sweet about this. When she was busy feeling guilty and wishing there was some way she could at least stay a little while-

Her eyes widened and she looked up at him. "Did you know that Graham wanted me to join your team?"

He blinked. "What?"

Sarah sat up, pushing some of her hair out of her face. "Right as Operation Bartowski was wrapping up and they were getting ready to take the Intersect out, Graham told me about the team they were putting together for you and asked me to join it. And I turned him down because I was too confused about how I felt about you and Chuck and all of this. But what if I told him I changed my mind?"

Even as she spoke, she was pretty sure she was making a mistake. Talk about too much, too soon. If she joined his team, not only could she upset the balance of the group, but she'd be making a definite commitment to him. If things didn't work out, it'd be hard to get off the team after needing to beg Graham to let her work with Chuck-because due to her earlier refusal to join the team, she'd have to call in a favor or two to get Graham to let her work with Chuck now. And if it all backfired, if things went south personally or professionally between them, it would make her life and Chuck's very, very difficult.

But what if it didn't happen like that? What if for once it all went right? If working with Chuck and then coming back to her hotel room or going to his place was everything she hoped it might be? It could be the most amazing, fulfilling, perfect life ever. She could have it all . . . and she had taken the risk without even thinking about it.

Would Chuck be willing to do the same?

He hadn't said anything yet. He hadn't even really moved, his head bent slightly so she couldn't see his face. Was he trying to figure out a way to let her down easily? Maybe he wanted more time for them to adjust to this new relationship. Maybe he wasn't ready to jump right in with both feet. In fact, she wasn't sure she was, either. But she knew she wanted him in her life and she was willing to deal with the growing pains that would come from this change. That is, if he wanted to be all-in, too.

She licked her lips. "Chuck?" she said softly.

Slowly, he lifted his head. And she felt her heart beat faster when she saw the smile on his face. "You'd really do that?" he asked, rising up on his knees and moving towards her. "You'd tell Graham you changed your mind and you want on the team?"

"I'll try . . . he might say no," she said, hearing how giddy her voice sounded. Because he definitely seemed okay with her idea.

"I doubt that," Chuck said, wrapping his arms around her. "You're very persuasive."

"Convincing you and convincing my boss are two very different things." Sarah almost giggled at the look on his face.

"I hope so," he said, smiling at her before resting his forehead against hers. His voice was softer when he spoke again. "You're sure? You're not confused anymore? About me?"

Gazing at him for a long moment, Sarah took him in. Took in this complex, complicated man who had so many different sides to himself: a confident genius and a shy nerd, a talented spy and a good man. It wasn't hard to answer his question.

"I'm only confused by why it took me so long to see you."

Chuck smiled at her. Not the big, beaming smile she was already grown addicted to. But a softer, more intimate one-a smile that spoke of utter contentment. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, kissing him softly.

His lips pressed against hers sweetly, then he said softly, "Guess we know who's the smart one in this relationship-I knew as soon as I met you that you were perfect."

Even with his compliment, she couldn't let that stand. She pulled back, her mouth rounded in an O of surprise. "Oh, you're gonna get it now," she said, pushing him back on the bed.

The smirk he gave her said that had been his intention. She was just leaning in to show him how dangerous it was to taunt her like that when the tinny sound of a cell phone ringtone filled the room.

Sarah frowned and looked at him. "Yours?"

With a long exhale, he nodded, momentarily closing his eyes. "Yeah. Mine."

They both moved, Sarah regretfully climbing off him and sitting on the bed as he got up and picked up his trousers. He pulled his cell phone out of a pocket and pressed a button on the screen. "Carmichael."

As he listened, Sarah watched him, feeling herself relax. They were together now. She was going to get on his team. And they were going to keep working together, keep discovering each other.

There was bound to be misunderstandings and problems and bad times. But to feel like she did now, to feel this sense of happiness and purpose and hope for the future . . . she'd risk a lot more to have that.

"So we need to move against that Ring cell if we want to find out what their plan is."

She lifted her eyes to his face, realizing he was looking right at her, one corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smile. There was a question in his eyes, one that she answered with a small nod and a smile of her own.

"Call everyone and get them to the base," Chuck said as she got up from the bed and walked towards him. "We'll meet in an hour."

Once he hung up the phone, Sarah leaned up and kissed him. "Mission?" she asked.

"Mission," he said in agreement, reaching down to pick up his clothes.

Sarah began gathering some clean clothes for herself as well before heading to the bathroom to wash up, calling out for Chuck to join her because she had a spare toothbrush.

And as they stood in her bathroom, brushing their teeth and bouncing ideas off each other for the job, Sarah couldn't help smiling.

Because that little voice inside her was practically singing. Because she had everything she wanted. Because her life had changed in a million different ways since the day she had found out that Bryce had left her behind.

All because of Chuck.

End.

Author's Note 2: I hope this chapter was a fitting conclusion to this story. I know that even with A Flip of the Coin, there's some issues that are left unresolved, things you might be curious about. I don't have any plans to revisit this universe, but you never know how the muse will move me. That's why I worked hard to have this chapter give you a good feeling at the end.

This story came to me in a totally unexpected way and I had a blast writing it. Thank you for coming along with me on Sarah's journey!